Have had a million-and-one thoughts going around in my head about emerging church and all its implications. I'm still trying to get them in a coherent form to blog about. There's much I want to say. The role of old-fogies in e-church. Pastors still generally-speaking heading it/them up and leaving the common man-on-the-street feeling unable to (untrained, unexperienced, unworthy). Worship, tradition, culture and if we can ever escape they way we've always done things - an inbred mindset so to speak. Cross-cultural e-church and if that can work, or is even needed. Teaching and learning from each other without a know-it-all to tell you what to believe or understand - the blind leading the blind? Where e-church might be in 10, 20 years and what that means to everyone else - especially my conservative friends who really enjoy their conservative, traditional church.
So much, so much. Total brain-mush right now. Perhaps I'll get it all together later.
Of Church and Duty
I was on worship team duty for the Sunday morning service yesterday. Being the Sunday after Christmas, a smallish crowd was expected. The "leftovers" were leading worship (an elderly couple who first started the worship team, but are generally sidelined in favour of more hip leaders...). I felt like a babe in the manger behind my keyboard - I brought the average worship team age down considerably. I had to quickly learn some very old choruses I'd never heard of too. (One day I might blog on the joys of having to fit into a new church culture - songs you grew up with that another church knows nothing about)
I don't know why, but I get really depressed at the morning service. It's a family service I guess, where the oldies and families reign and the first 5 rows are empty - the youth rule there, but only turn up for the evening service. After a year and a half at this church, I still don't know many folk. Perhaps I get depressed because I don't quite fit in, even now. Perhaps it's something else completely.
Yesterday I started feeling that dark cloud coming on right after practice, while we were hanging around backstage and getting ready for a time of prayer. I had a hard time feeling like I wanted to be there. Although everyone else was worshipping, I couldn't connect and just couldn't care. Apathy, I think that's the word.
I managed to get out of playing for the closing song, because I didn't know it, it was an old hymn, they changed the key and I couldn't get the hang of it - or at least those were my excuses.
I played, I did my thing, I got through the worship section of the service. But as the worship team left the stage I just kept on walking, all the way out. I couldn't take it anymore and didn't even feel like sticking around to hear what "The Three Christmases" sermon was all about, or find out if there was a blessing hiding there somewhere. I got straight into my car and went home.
I don't know why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. Perhaps all my thoughts on being church have put me off doing it. Maybe I need a break from routine - but then again I'm reminded of an article I read a while ago, that you have to stick it out in uncomfortable situations in order to grow and learn.
I just don't know. Can't figure it out. But did get a bigger blessing among the roses of SuperPlants (big garden shop) later in the day than the entire few hours at church. Got some serious thinking to do about where to from here.
I don't know why, but I get really depressed at the morning service. It's a family service I guess, where the oldies and families reign and the first 5 rows are empty - the youth rule there, but only turn up for the evening service. After a year and a half at this church, I still don't know many folk. Perhaps I get depressed because I don't quite fit in, even now. Perhaps it's something else completely.
Yesterday I started feeling that dark cloud coming on right after practice, while we were hanging around backstage and getting ready for a time of prayer. I had a hard time feeling like I wanted to be there. Although everyone else was worshipping, I couldn't connect and just couldn't care. Apathy, I think that's the word.
I managed to get out of playing for the closing song, because I didn't know it, it was an old hymn, they changed the key and I couldn't get the hang of it - or at least those were my excuses.
I played, I did my thing, I got through the worship section of the service. But as the worship team left the stage I just kept on walking, all the way out. I couldn't take it anymore and didn't even feel like sticking around to hear what "The Three Christmases" sermon was all about, or find out if there was a blessing hiding there somewhere. I got straight into my car and went home.
I don't know why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. Perhaps all my thoughts on being church have put me off doing it. Maybe I need a break from routine - but then again I'm reminded of an article I read a while ago, that you have to stick it out in uncomfortable situations in order to grow and learn.
I just don't know. Can't figure it out. But did get a bigger blessing among the roses of SuperPlants (big garden shop) later in the day than the entire few hours at church. Got some serious thinking to do about where to from here.
Hovering on the edge of belief
My son is 10 and a 1/2. He's left behind the little kid years, and is dipping his toes into teenagedom.
He faithfully hung up his Christmas stocking this year in the almost-belief that Santa would fill it. But this was also the first year he bought me a gift, hid it from sight, wrapped it, and then carefully placed it under the tree a few days before Christmas. (Santa no longer brings gifts that turn up under the tree it seems.)
Of course Santa could hardly disappoint him and he awoke to a stocking hanging in another part of the house (Santa got confused and swapped the stocking and the fly-swatter around), overflowing with sweet things and small toys.
Later in the day I asked him if Santa had filled his stocking or if I had. He rushed from one view to the other, not quite wanting to give up a belief in the fantasy that is Santa, yet wanting to show he's grown up enough not to believe in fairy-tales. He finally concluded it was a mixture of both, especially as Santa had left a few sweets for me too (I couldn't fit them all in the stocking!).
This is a magical age for me to watch him at. A time when there are still wisps of the little boy around him, yet also flashes of the man he will one day be. A time when he's starting to test his boundaries, but when we still hold on to a special mom/son understanding that many just don't get. I'm reminded each day of how quickly little boys turn into men. This is a time to lock away in my heart and treasure, before it's forever too late.
He faithfully hung up his Christmas stocking this year in the almost-belief that Santa would fill it. But this was also the first year he bought me a gift, hid it from sight, wrapped it, and then carefully placed it under the tree a few days before Christmas. (Santa no longer brings gifts that turn up under the tree it seems.)
Of course Santa could hardly disappoint him and he awoke to a stocking hanging in another part of the house (Santa got confused and swapped the stocking and the fly-swatter around), overflowing with sweet things and small toys.
Later in the day I asked him if Santa had filled his stocking or if I had. He rushed from one view to the other, not quite wanting to give up a belief in the fantasy that is Santa, yet wanting to show he's grown up enough not to believe in fairy-tales. He finally concluded it was a mixture of both, especially as Santa had left a few sweets for me too (I couldn't fit them all in the stocking!).
This is a magical age for me to watch him at. A time when there are still wisps of the little boy around him, yet also flashes of the man he will one day be. A time when he's starting to test his boundaries, but when we still hold on to a special mom/son understanding that many just don't get. I'm reminded each day of how quickly little boys turn into men. This is a time to lock away in my heart and treasure, before it's forever too late.
Post-Christmas thoughts
Christmas is over for another year and there are a few things that stand out in my mind from Christmas 2003:
RAIN - lots of it. Running barefoot with high-heel shoes in hand up the road after church to reach the car a block away. Roads are sure harder than I remembered as a barefoot kid... Icy cold, but welcome, very welcome rain.
A packed-full church. Sitting next to someone I've never met before and feeling weird that I was in the congregation, not on stage. Lots of singing, lots of standing and sitting, Christmas aerobics. A good message. Rain pouring through the fan high up in the church wall and dripping on the carpet. Merry-merries from friends and strangers, annual kisses and big bear-hugs.
Overturned car on the highway as we made our way to the relatives. Completely smashed-up, the driver sitting nearby with his head in his hands. No visible bodies lying around, but the ambulance still on its way. Life is short - a Christmas accident scene is very sobering. Tears arriving unbidden - I prayed over a stranger as we passed by.
A surprise guest at lunch. An ex-prisoner, rough-cast from years in jail. My sis-in-law has been visiting him for years. He's now out of jail and trying to get his life back together. He joined us as one of the family. Rough, yes. Beautiful soul, very much so.
The round-about way home, through rain patches and rainbows, sightseeing roads we never travel through vineyards and industrial areas, shack towns and open land. Much to think about. Oh, and a sighting (first time ever!) of a TURKEY pecking along the edge of the highway!!! Where he escaped from is anyone's guess, but at least he wasn't served up for dinner.
Loads of loot to haul from the car before the next raincloud arrived - we went bearing "baby" marrows (zucchini) weighing in at a few kilos each from my garden, along with a gigantic arum lily bulb for Aunty Heather and a back-seat full of home-made presents. We came back bearing a second-hand microwave, a passed-down CD rack and many wonderful gifts. Still recovering from the food...
"Merry Christmas Mr Bean" - a really good way to end the long day with a belly-laugh or 30.
And now it's the in-between. The time when the excitement of Christmas is over and the New Year has not yet struck. A sort of activity vacuum, not quite sure what to do with one's self. Perhaps a time to be still, to remember, to dream dreams for the next year, to appreciate life and so many blessings.
RAIN - lots of it. Running barefoot with high-heel shoes in hand up the road after church to reach the car a block away. Roads are sure harder than I remembered as a barefoot kid... Icy cold, but welcome, very welcome rain.
A packed-full church. Sitting next to someone I've never met before and feeling weird that I was in the congregation, not on stage. Lots of singing, lots of standing and sitting, Christmas aerobics. A good message. Rain pouring through the fan high up in the church wall and dripping on the carpet. Merry-merries from friends and strangers, annual kisses and big bear-hugs.
Overturned car on the highway as we made our way to the relatives. Completely smashed-up, the driver sitting nearby with his head in his hands. No visible bodies lying around, but the ambulance still on its way. Life is short - a Christmas accident scene is very sobering. Tears arriving unbidden - I prayed over a stranger as we passed by.
A surprise guest at lunch. An ex-prisoner, rough-cast from years in jail. My sis-in-law has been visiting him for years. He's now out of jail and trying to get his life back together. He joined us as one of the family. Rough, yes. Beautiful soul, very much so.
The round-about way home, through rain patches and rainbows, sightseeing roads we never travel through vineyards and industrial areas, shack towns and open land. Much to think about. Oh, and a sighting (first time ever!) of a TURKEY pecking along the edge of the highway!!! Where he escaped from is anyone's guess, but at least he wasn't served up for dinner.
Loads of loot to haul from the car before the next raincloud arrived - we went bearing "baby" marrows (zucchini) weighing in at a few kilos each from my garden, along with a gigantic arum lily bulb for Aunty Heather and a back-seat full of home-made presents. We came back bearing a second-hand microwave, a passed-down CD rack and many wonderful gifts. Still recovering from the food...
"Merry Christmas Mr Bean" - a really good way to end the long day with a belly-laugh or 30.
And now it's the in-between. The time when the excitement of Christmas is over and the New Year has not yet struck. A sort of activity vacuum, not quite sure what to do with one's self. Perhaps a time to be still, to remember, to dream dreams for the next year, to appreciate life and so many blessings.
Happy Happy
Before Christmas strikes, I want to wish all of you who stop by my little blog-space a great festive season - an extra-special Christmas and a washed-clean New Year.
I can't believe what a difference blogging has made to my life in the last 2 or so months, and the folk I've met on this and other's blogs are incredible!
So - may you have the best one this year ever. May God make your dreams and longings reality. May you find your heart's desires and be blessed.
I can't believe what a difference blogging has made to my life in the last 2 or so months, and the folk I've met on this and other's blogs are incredible!
So - may you have the best one this year ever. May God make your dreams and longings reality. May you find your heart's desires and be blessed.
Of Christmas
The veggie turkey is made (a 2-day process, and WORTH it! Even my carnivore friends and my dogs love the stuff). The decorations are up. All the presents are made/wrapped/labelled/posted under the tree. The car's filled up and checked for our trip to Cape Town to be with family for lunch. The breakfast sticky buns are rising and will be baked first-thing in the morning. The present-opening is timed so my son can watch his new Bionicle video before we head to church. (We don't yet know what we'll do on Christmas eve - tonight - though)
And yet this year there seems to be an emptiness around Christmas. I don't know why. I see Jamie and others have the same thing. I just can't seem to connect to the REAL Spirit of the Season, to focus completely on why we're doing everything we're doing. It feels a bit empty somehow and I don't know how to fill it up.
Perhaps it's the rush toward the end of the year that has me tired out. Perhaps it's a spritual emptiness that seems to haunt me and spring up every now and then. Perhaps it's that I really don't know the Son as well as I had hoped, and as such can't celebrate His birth and death in the way I should. I just don't know.
Maybe the spirit will strike at midnight like a ghost of Christmas past when enthusiasm and excitement still reigned supreme. Or I might get a spark at church tomorrow morning. I really hope I do. As much as I don't want to just "do church" anymore, I also don't just want to go through the festive motions - I want Christmas to really Mean Something this year. I really, really want it to.
And yet this year there seems to be an emptiness around Christmas. I don't know why. I see Jamie and others have the same thing. I just can't seem to connect to the REAL Spirit of the Season, to focus completely on why we're doing everything we're doing. It feels a bit empty somehow and I don't know how to fill it up.
Perhaps it's the rush toward the end of the year that has me tired out. Perhaps it's a spritual emptiness that seems to haunt me and spring up every now and then. Perhaps it's that I really don't know the Son as well as I had hoped, and as such can't celebrate His birth and death in the way I should. I just don't know.
Maybe the spirit will strike at midnight like a ghost of Christmas past when enthusiasm and excitement still reigned supreme. Or I might get a spark at church tomorrow morning. I really hope I do. As much as I don't want to just "do church" anymore, I also don't just want to go through the festive motions - I want Christmas to really Mean Something this year. I really, really want it to.
A "white" Christmas???
Something strange is in the air. A cold front's on the way, very unsual for this time of year.
The past 3 days our local news has been full of the ongoing drought in parts of the country. In one area it hasn't rained properly since 2000. Many are dependent on rainwater for basic supply, as there's no groundwater to talk of. Crops have gone unplanted, animals are dying or being sent to slaughter. There's rumours of severe food shortages ahead - maize, sugar, dairy, wheat.
(I'm pretty glad my garden is producing enough to feed us and keep wondering if there's more I could do to make life easier for others. Like collecting rainwater from my roof and shipping it inland to where it's needed? Nah, that's a bit unrealistic, but I'm sure I can think of something...)
For Christmas day the weatherman has predicted rain just about across the entire country. In some places it's too little too late. In others it will be the best Christmas gift one could wish for.
And here? Well, if it's a big enough cold front who knows - we might even get snow for the first time ever on Christmas day.
The past 3 days our local news has been full of the ongoing drought in parts of the country. In one area it hasn't rained properly since 2000. Many are dependent on rainwater for basic supply, as there's no groundwater to talk of. Crops have gone unplanted, animals are dying or being sent to slaughter. There's rumours of severe food shortages ahead - maize, sugar, dairy, wheat.
(I'm pretty glad my garden is producing enough to feed us and keep wondering if there's more I could do to make life easier for others. Like collecting rainwater from my roof and shipping it inland to where it's needed? Nah, that's a bit unrealistic, but I'm sure I can think of something...)
For Christmas day the weatherman has predicted rain just about across the entire country. In some places it's too little too late. In others it will be the best Christmas gift one could wish for.
And here? Well, if it's a big enough cold front who knows - we might even get snow for the first time ever on Christmas day.
A bit of hard work
Yesterday I did something I've been wanting to do for 7 years. I painted all my doors in the apartment. The interior ones got a coat of white paint and the front one is now ultramarine blue on the outside, with white on the inside to match the interior of the house.
I'm totally amazed at the difference it makes! My little place was all pokey and old-fashioned before with dark-wood doors and surrounds. It looks huge and light and fresh now! Light just bounds around the place.
Unfortunately there's a BIG down-side....now that your eye no longer gets held up by a dark block of wood, it goes straight to things like the peeling paint in the bathroom, the piled-high bookshelf in the bedroom and a few finger-marks on the kitchen walls.....so it seems I have a little extra work in front of me over the rest of my holiday!
I managed to wheedle some white exterior paint off the maintenance guys and did my outside front wall on the verandah, which they initially thought was cream it was so old. There's a bit left, so the next big job is stripping peeling paint and redoing some interiors. After which my sis-in-law is welcome to arrive for her proposed Painting Party. She's got a butternut-colour paint remnant that we'll be mixing with white. I'm not a fan of dark walls, and know that the lighter the paint the bigger the room looks. So we're going cream instead of yellow-orange.
Amazing what a little paint can do. It's got me all fired up to sort out the entire house! And I've discovered muscles in my hands and shoulders that apparently have been lying disused for a while....!
I'm totally amazed at the difference it makes! My little place was all pokey and old-fashioned before with dark-wood doors and surrounds. It looks huge and light and fresh now! Light just bounds around the place.
Unfortunately there's a BIG down-side....now that your eye no longer gets held up by a dark block of wood, it goes straight to things like the peeling paint in the bathroom, the piled-high bookshelf in the bedroom and a few finger-marks on the kitchen walls.....so it seems I have a little extra work in front of me over the rest of my holiday!
I managed to wheedle some white exterior paint off the maintenance guys and did my outside front wall on the verandah, which they initially thought was cream it was so old. There's a bit left, so the next big job is stripping peeling paint and redoing some interiors. After which my sis-in-law is welcome to arrive for her proposed Painting Party. She's got a butternut-colour paint remnant that we'll be mixing with white. I'm not a fan of dark walls, and know that the lighter the paint the bigger the room looks. So we're going cream instead of yellow-orange.
Amazing what a little paint can do. It's got me all fired up to sort out the entire house! And I've discovered muscles in my hands and shoulders that apparently have been lying disused for a while....!
Milestone
Monday night I finished reading the ENTIRE Bible through for the very first time. I don't know how long it took, but I'd do a few chapters at a time each night. As I went, I checked in to confirm or debunk beliefs. Amazingly it went rather quickly - except for books like Numbers, with all those lists!
So I can chalk up one achievement on my list. Now I'm restarting the New Testament and am looking forward to reading it all again. Have hit Matthew just in time to re-read the Christmas story - how great is that! :)
I think reading the entire book has put a few things in perspective. Verses that usually don't get read have now been seen, and there are some pretty interesting correlations. I think I've got a much better overall picture now of the Good Book and what God has to say.
So I can chalk up one achievement on my list. Now I'm restarting the New Testament and am looking forward to reading it all again. Have hit Matthew just in time to re-read the Christmas story - how great is that! :)
I think reading the entire book has put a few things in perspective. Verses that usually don't get read have now been seen, and there are some pretty interesting correlations. I think I've got a much better overall picture now of the Good Book and what God has to say.
Quick pop-in/Return of the King/Holidays
Hi everyone! Just doing my "suffering from an over-inflated sense of duty" holiday stop-by at the office to see if anyone's panicking without me here. So far, it seems they'll survive. The nice thing is that everyone left at 12, so I have the entire building to myself - and have locked my office door in case some lost soul wanders by looking for help I can't give.
It's been a grand holiday so far. The absolute highlight was seeing Return of the King on Friday morning. It was so booked out that we only had a choice of 5 seats, although second in line. We got 2 in the second row from the front - talk about "better on the big screen". Especially when certain overgrown nightmarish things appear - you know of Whom I speak, yes HER!:) It was pretty funny. When She appears for the second time in the film, a whole row of girls in the back screamed, which had the rest of the packed-out place in stitches. I was very good myself - only cried once in the entire movie (end of coronation scene) and didn't have to make a loo-dash at all.
(If it didn't cost us 66 bucks for 2 of us to go see, I think I would have gone right out, bought another ticket and done it all again....!)
What a movie! But I can echo thoughts posted in the comments a bit further down this page - it's nice to see the end, but it's sad that there's no more. HOWEVER, there's rumours that Peter Jackson will be making The Hobbit, and that I can't wait to see that.
I haven't read the books yet. I plan to now. I wanted to be surprised by each movie, to be on the edge of my seat, not knowing what will happen next. But now I want the WHOLE story, so we're going to read them together, my son and I.
We'll be standing in line for our own copy of the movie when it's released. I only wish we could get the extended versions here, but they won't ship outside the USA! Darn.... I'll have to prod a few American friends in the right places and hint wildly that those extended versions would make great gifts... :) Oh, and Theophilus, I heard the 12 endings would be offered via some or other news site, but can't remember which. Probably Fark.
The rest of my holiday has been pretty restful so far. Only got out of bed at 2pm on Saturday, then made strawberry and plum jams from scratch, then got back into bed for a nap before heading off to a birthday party. The rest of the days have been spent around the house, beating the up-country-folks to the shops for a final Christmas dash and planning a Painting Party. Will be colouring in a few walls before New Year, along with my sis-in-law.
I'll be popping in now and then, so will post stuff as I can. But now, I need to catch up on everyone else!
It's been a grand holiday so far. The absolute highlight was seeing Return of the King on Friday morning. It was so booked out that we only had a choice of 5 seats, although second in line. We got 2 in the second row from the front - talk about "better on the big screen". Especially when certain overgrown nightmarish things appear - you know of Whom I speak, yes HER!:) It was pretty funny. When She appears for the second time in the film, a whole row of girls in the back screamed, which had the rest of the packed-out place in stitches. I was very good myself - only cried once in the entire movie (end of coronation scene) and didn't have to make a loo-dash at all.
(If it didn't cost us 66 bucks for 2 of us to go see, I think I would have gone right out, bought another ticket and done it all again....!)
What a movie! But I can echo thoughts posted in the comments a bit further down this page - it's nice to see the end, but it's sad that there's no more. HOWEVER, there's rumours that Peter Jackson will be making The Hobbit, and that I can't wait to see that.
I haven't read the books yet. I plan to now. I wanted to be surprised by each movie, to be on the edge of my seat, not knowing what will happen next. But now I want the WHOLE story, so we're going to read them together, my son and I.
We'll be standing in line for our own copy of the movie when it's released. I only wish we could get the extended versions here, but they won't ship outside the USA! Darn.... I'll have to prod a few American friends in the right places and hint wildly that those extended versions would make great gifts... :) Oh, and Theophilus, I heard the 12 endings would be offered via some or other news site, but can't remember which. Probably Fark.
The rest of my holiday has been pretty restful so far. Only got out of bed at 2pm on Saturday, then made strawberry and plum jams from scratch, then got back into bed for a nap before heading off to a birthday party. The rest of the days have been spent around the house, beating the up-country-folks to the shops for a final Christmas dash and planning a Painting Party. Will be colouring in a few walls before New Year, along with my sis-in-law.
I'll be popping in now and then, so will post stuff as I can. But now, I need to catch up on everyone else!
Left Behind
No, I'm not talking the books here, but the fact that I got back from lunch to find the entire staff has decided not to return to work this afternoon! It's just me and one other sitting here like bumps on a log. Talk about holiday spirit... :) Even the receptionist has disappeared, locking up access to the only fax machine in the building, which I kinda need to help my international students get their acts together and find visas.
At this time of year the admin gets really lenient on work hours. They decided this morning that next week will be half-day for all, provided our work is up to date. Doesn't affect me, as I'll be on full-day leave anyway. Nice of them though.
::update::
Everyone else left at 3 - but I'm still here. Unfortunately I told one new student I'd be in the office till 5, so here I sit, checking up on blogs to see if anyone's got anything new to say. And adding new blogs to my faves list! So, if you're reading me and I'm not listing you, it might be that I don't know about you - leave me a comment with a link to your blog, and I'll investigate!
::more update::
The student came early, so at last I can leave! Pancakes for supper, and then off we go to the Christmas Cantata tonight at church - a different way to spend Thursday, and we'll beat the Sunday rush when they do it all again.
At this time of year the admin gets really lenient on work hours. They decided this morning that next week will be half-day for all, provided our work is up to date. Doesn't affect me, as I'll be on full-day leave anyway. Nice of them though.
::update::
Everyone else left at 3 - but I'm still here. Unfortunately I told one new student I'd be in the office till 5, so here I sit, checking up on blogs to see if anyone's got anything new to say. And adding new blogs to my faves list! So, if you're reading me and I'm not listing you, it might be that I don't know about you - leave me a comment with a link to your blog, and I'll investigate!
::more update::
The student came early, so at last I can leave! Pancakes for supper, and then off we go to the Christmas Cantata tonight at church - a different way to spend Thursday, and we'll beat the Sunday rush when they do it all again.
That's Life
Just for the heck of it (and to see if anyone understands this) - herewith the only Afrikaans poem I've ever written, short and sweet:
Die lewe speel soos kat en muis
Hy vang jou, en gooi jou terug
Satyn oor die staal naald
(English translation:
Life plays cat and mouse with you
It catches you and throws you back
Satin concealing a steel needle)
Any closet Afrikaaners out there? :)
Die lewe speel soos kat en muis
Hy vang jou, en gooi jou terug
Satyn oor die staal naald
(English translation:
Life plays cat and mouse with you
It catches you and throws you back
Satin concealing a steel needle)
Any closet Afrikaaners out there? :)
Holiday Blues
My son's been singing his old story again - "I'm Bored!". His friend's gone out, the only thing on TV is the Hefer Commission (investigating corruption of one of our govt officials - we only have 3 channels to choose from) and he doesn't feel like doing anything I suggested.
BUT we found a solution! I sent him on a mission to the garage to haul out the Christmas tree and decorate it - and apparently it's a Mission Accomplished! (What's in the garage could keep him busy for years, looking in the boxes!). He's just phoned to find a plug for the lights, so must be about done.
Looking forward to seeing what he's managed. I usually decorate the tree - I like it elegant and colour-co-ordinated, whereas he chucks on all the decorations in the box. This year it seems we'll be going with HIS look. :)
(Oh great - he's put up the musical lights......)
BUT we found a solution! I sent him on a mission to the garage to haul out the Christmas tree and decorate it - and apparently it's a Mission Accomplished! (What's in the garage could keep him busy for years, looking in the boxes!). He's just phoned to find a plug for the lights, so must be about done.
Looking forward to seeing what he's managed. I usually decorate the tree - I like it elegant and colour-co-ordinated, whereas he chucks on all the decorations in the box. This year it seems we'll be going with HIS look. :)
(Oh great - he's put up the musical lights......)
'Tis the Season
With Christmas a mere week away, been thinking on some of my favourite things about this time of year (mostly excluding the obvious spiritual ones).
Quality Street chocolates - the dark-chocolate wrapped orange creams. Vegetarian Turkey - so time-consuming to make that it only gets done once a year, but worth the effort. Summer heat and cold foods on Christmas day. Fresh-baked fruit-mince pies, hot out the oven. Meltingly yum fruitcake (YES, such a thing is possible!). Phonecalls from near and far, SMS's from cellphones all over the world, emails from folk you haven't heard from since last year. Cards and surpise packages by Actual Real-Life Mail. Corny Aussie Christmas songs on tape, courtesy the rellies. Wish-lists. Time off work. An early-morning Christmas service, packed out for the Season. Neighbours and strangers smiling and waving, saying hi and wishing you a good one. Christmas lights - the town decked out in the best lights countrywide - my little sparkly lights filling the front window. One bright star suspended twinkling over the horizon, reminding me of another star 2000 years ago.
Some of my not-so-favourite things, though, are:
The howling gale-force South Easter that is attracted to public holidays. Crowded malls, filled with visitors from upcountry who fill up the aisles talking to folk they last ran into a year ago. Bad drivers from upcountry who assume they're on holiday so can hog the roads and ignore traffic rules. Dramatic price increases in Christmas foods and Christmas gifts since last year. Thoughts of those who won't have a good one - the homeless, the lonely, the old, the recently-divorced, the widowed, the shunned, those fallen from societies' grace.
I pray that this year I can make one good memory for someone. That I can make Christmas a bit different for just one person - whether it's the security guard at the gate or a close family member. Something that will make them smile as the Season comes by again.
Quality Street chocolates - the dark-chocolate wrapped orange creams. Vegetarian Turkey - so time-consuming to make that it only gets done once a year, but worth the effort. Summer heat and cold foods on Christmas day. Fresh-baked fruit-mince pies, hot out the oven. Meltingly yum fruitcake (YES, such a thing is possible!). Phonecalls from near and far, SMS's from cellphones all over the world, emails from folk you haven't heard from since last year. Cards and surpise packages by Actual Real-Life Mail. Corny Aussie Christmas songs on tape, courtesy the rellies. Wish-lists. Time off work. An early-morning Christmas service, packed out for the Season. Neighbours and strangers smiling and waving, saying hi and wishing you a good one. Christmas lights - the town decked out in the best lights countrywide - my little sparkly lights filling the front window. One bright star suspended twinkling over the horizon, reminding me of another star 2000 years ago.
Some of my not-so-favourite things, though, are:
The howling gale-force South Easter that is attracted to public holidays. Crowded malls, filled with visitors from upcountry who fill up the aisles talking to folk they last ran into a year ago. Bad drivers from upcountry who assume they're on holiday so can hog the roads and ignore traffic rules. Dramatic price increases in Christmas foods and Christmas gifts since last year. Thoughts of those who won't have a good one - the homeless, the lonely, the old, the recently-divorced, the widowed, the shunned, those fallen from societies' grace.
I pray that this year I can make one good memory for someone. That I can make Christmas a bit different for just one person - whether it's the security guard at the gate or a close family member. Something that will make them smile as the Season comes by again.
Belief-o-matic
I took the Belief-O-Matic "which religion are you" quiz this morning, and here's what I got:
1. Orthodox Quaker (100%)
2. Seventh Day Adventist (91%)
3. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (88%)
4. Eastern Orthodox (77%)
5. Roman Catholic (77%)
6. Bahá'à Faith (74%)
7. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (71%)
8. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (71%)
9. Jehovah's Witness (66%)
10. Orthodox Judaism (64%)
11. Liberal Quakers (62%)
12. Sikhism (58%)
13. Islam (54%)
14. Jainism (46%)
15. Unitarian Universalism (44%)
16. Hinduism (44%)
17. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (43%)
18. Theravada Buddhism (42%)
19. Mahayana Buddhism (42%)
20. Reform Judaism (39%)
21. Neo-Pagan (34%)
22. New Age (29%)
23. Taoism (28%)
24. Secular Humanism (27%)
25. New Thought (22%)
26. Scientology (22%)
27. Nontheist (19%)
Anyone want to guess which one I REALLY am? Heck, I'm trying to figure that one out myself.... :)
Alll the above stats tell me is that we have a heck of a lot more in common than what we thought with other religions - I'm pretty amazed at how high up the rankings some of them are! Including some I thought I had absolutely nothing in common with.
1. Orthodox Quaker (100%)
2. Seventh Day Adventist (91%)
3. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (88%)
4. Eastern Orthodox (77%)
5. Roman Catholic (77%)
6. Bahá'à Faith (74%)
7. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (71%)
8. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (71%)
9. Jehovah's Witness (66%)
10. Orthodox Judaism (64%)
11. Liberal Quakers (62%)
12. Sikhism (58%)
13. Islam (54%)
14. Jainism (46%)
15. Unitarian Universalism (44%)
16. Hinduism (44%)
17. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (43%)
18. Theravada Buddhism (42%)
19. Mahayana Buddhism (42%)
20. Reform Judaism (39%)
21. Neo-Pagan (34%)
22. New Age (29%)
23. Taoism (28%)
24. Secular Humanism (27%)
25. New Thought (22%)
26. Scientology (22%)
27. Nontheist (19%)
Anyone want to guess which one I REALLY am? Heck, I'm trying to figure that one out myself.... :)
Alll the above stats tell me is that we have a heck of a lot more in common than what we thought with other religions - I'm pretty amazed at how high up the rankings some of them are! Including some I thought I had absolutely nothing in common with.
It's HERE!
Just realized Return of the King starts today! I'm a total LOTR/Narnia-type stuff addict (ever noticed the many similarities between the two series?).
I'm not going to be running off to see it immediately though. As I'm on leave from Friday, my son and I will go to a really early morning show once the initial rush is over. He's loved the films, even though the recommended age limit is usually a year or so above him. I guess that comes from watching Jurassic Park at 6 months of age (and the others as they came out) or loving things like The Mummy. He's pretty immune to scary movie stuff, generally speaking. But his best friend starts shaking with fear if we so much as start LOTR off on our video...he's been VERY sheltered and I fear he's in for some big surprises down the line.
Anyway, looking forward to the last in the 3 movies. Apparently the DVD version is going to have a choice of 12 endings....?! This I gotta see!
And this time we will not be drinking Coke before going to the movies - don't want to miss a few minutes about 2 hours into the film as we do a loo-dash again! :)
I'm not going to be running off to see it immediately though. As I'm on leave from Friday, my son and I will go to a really early morning show once the initial rush is over. He's loved the films, even though the recommended age limit is usually a year or so above him. I guess that comes from watching Jurassic Park at 6 months of age (and the others as they came out) or loving things like The Mummy. He's pretty immune to scary movie stuff, generally speaking. But his best friend starts shaking with fear if we so much as start LOTR off on our video...he's been VERY sheltered and I fear he's in for some big surprises down the line.
Anyway, looking forward to the last in the 3 movies. Apparently the DVD version is going to have a choice of 12 endings....?! This I gotta see!
And this time we will not be drinking Coke before going to the movies - don't want to miss a few minutes about 2 hours into the film as we do a loo-dash again! :)
A bit sad
I've just been doing a search for blogs from the denomination I grew up in. So far in 10 Google pages I have found only one positive post about the denomination. There are so many that see it as a "cult" and "weird", and that makes me sad. Sure there are some that are way-off (aren't there in any fruit-basket?), but most of us are just trying to be Christians to the best of our ability. Unfortunately things get badly twisted by others (especially by those who leave the denomination), beliefs get misinterpreted and the entire church gets slandered in a big way. And that makes me sad.
I think seeing what's up on the net is where my denominational questions started off - if we're all such good Christians, why do we spend so much time, energy, resources, emotional stuff, on trying to push each other off that slippery narrow path that leads upward? Why bicker among each other, try to find holes in each other's faiths, or criticize each other to death? Can't we at least get along and respect that not everyone sees things the way we do - and that we might not have it entirely right anyway? We're all trying to end up in the same place for eternity - even if our interpretations of what God has to say differ here and there. We don't need to poke each other's eyes out on the journey, surely?
I'm just sad to see so much negativity. It hurts to hear what some have to say.
I think seeing what's up on the net is where my denominational questions started off - if we're all such good Christians, why do we spend so much time, energy, resources, emotional stuff, on trying to push each other off that slippery narrow path that leads upward? Why bicker among each other, try to find holes in each other's faiths, or criticize each other to death? Can't we at least get along and respect that not everyone sees things the way we do - and that we might not have it entirely right anyway? We're all trying to end up in the same place for eternity - even if our interpretations of what God has to say differ here and there. We don't need to poke each other's eyes out on the journey, surely?
I'm just sad to see so much negativity. It hurts to hear what some have to say.
Worship Party
Jamie posted a small thought in a larger post that brought up the idea of a New Year's Worship Fest. I think that's a completely awesome idea - to get a load of people together and spontaneously worship the new year in. Freedom to worship and make up songs to God and dance and play and go nuts in His presence. I'd love to see this happening across the world, 24 hours of worship as each time zone hits midnight. What a way to go! What do you think?
Sunday's thoughts
This was written over Sunday, but only made it to be posted today:
Please can I have a day off from being church? Just one?
Please can I just be mean and nasty to those who are mean and nasty - just for today? Please can I not have to try so hard to be a Good Christian? Please can I have a break from explaining what being church is about and having to show that in my everyday life? Please can I be cranky, just for today, and snap back at those who snap at me? Please can I just Do Church today, comfortably stuck in the rut and going through the motions? Please can I think bad thoughts, not make the effort, be a bad parent, fall back into those nice old destructive habits? Please can I frown instead of smile? Please can I spread gossip and slander and malice and not consider the consequences? Please can I just mutely follow the rest of the herd in their well-word paths? Please can I sit down instead of stand up?
Please can I just get ONE day off?
Please can I have a day off from being church? Just one?
Please can I just be mean and nasty to those who are mean and nasty - just for today? Please can I not have to try so hard to be a Good Christian? Please can I have a break from explaining what being church is about and having to show that in my everyday life? Please can I be cranky, just for today, and snap back at those who snap at me? Please can I just Do Church today, comfortably stuck in the rut and going through the motions? Please can I think bad thoughts, not make the effort, be a bad parent, fall back into those nice old destructive habits? Please can I frown instead of smile? Please can I spread gossip and slander and malice and not consider the consequences? Please can I just mutely follow the rest of the herd in their well-word paths? Please can I sit down instead of stand up?
Please can I just get ONE day off?
Matchmaking
In a moment of madness I signed up for Emode Matchmaking a while ago. I still get a list of my matches every few days. Granted there are some great folk out there, but there are also some pretty scary people!
This morning I got another list of my "matches" in. I have to wonder if some those pics are the best they could do of themselves. And if so, geez....!
There's a muscle-bound bloke pictured in the gym, there's an obviously web-cam blueish tint bloke, there's Mr Smiley against the nearest white wall, and one professional-looking portrait of a well-oiled bloke with stark lighting on one side and black shadows on the other who looks like an ad for a Rambo-type security company, complete with black headband.
Do I REALLY match up "scientifically" to any of the above? If so, what does that say about ME...???
This morning I got another list of my "matches" in. I have to wonder if some those pics are the best they could do of themselves. And if so, geez....!
There's a muscle-bound bloke pictured in the gym, there's an obviously web-cam blueish tint bloke, there's Mr Smiley against the nearest white wall, and one professional-looking portrait of a well-oiled bloke with stark lighting on one side and black shadows on the other who looks like an ad for a Rambo-type security company, complete with black headband.
Do I REALLY match up "scientifically" to any of the above? If so, what does that say about ME...???
Help the Orphans
It seems that our Nigerian brothers have found a new way to phrase their request for your bank details - I got 2 emails in a row, almost exactly the same wording, one from a "Pastor in Nigeria" and the other from a "Reverend in Ireland". They want us to help them help the orphans, and get a cut of the cash. Amazing.....
There was an article online recently about a church that got sucked into this scam, saw it as legit and contributed, and are now in very serious financial trouble, with much gnashing of teeth over their guillability.
There was an article online recently about a church that got sucked into this scam, saw it as legit and contributed, and are now in very serious financial trouble, with much gnashing of teeth over their guillability.
I'm back!
Did anyone miss me?:) I had a REALLY long weekend, with Tuesday being a public holiday here and Monday we were all off work. But it was a great one! Just a few things that happened:
Church - I really didn't want to do double-duty at church for the worship team, but it was a good thing I did. The morning service turned out to be really good. We had a time for testimonies and praise that took up most of the service and could really have done without the sermon after such an inspiring time, but the pastor preached anyway.
The evening service was just plain AWESOME! All the youth were back from summer camp, only one still in hospital after the food poisoning epidose. A very big worship team turned up with lots of extra instruments and singers. We rocked the church! We also had a time for testimonies for the youth and I was once again blown away by how incredible these guys are. We sang, we praised, we were loud - and I broke a nail on the last song thanks to some serious "piano bashing"! :)
The Party - after a weekend of totally winter weather, strong winds and rain, Tuesday turned out to be a great sunny day. Got up real early and rushed to put up a canopy on the lawn, set out all the food and drinks and get the house neat/tidy. Party was due to start at 11 - first guests arrived at 11:30! They carried on arriving and leaving all day long. We had a superb time, relaxing, eating, talking, joking. My brothers and some other guys got hold of the kids and played them into the ground with tennis, cricket, bike rides etc. My last guests left at 7:30, so it was a pretty long party! :) I got some very cool prezzies, more than I can remember ever getting. And this morning in my email inbox were pictures of the party, courtesy the only brother in the family rich enough to own a digital camera.
It's been a very good weekend. And now I only have 2 days of work left in the year - today and tomorrow!
But never fear, I am required as Admissions Officer to check in regularly while on holiday, to sort out new students applying and those that panic when the Embassy won't give them a study visa. So this blog will not be altogether silent. It just won't be as verbose as usual - which is probably a darn good thing..... :)
Church - I really didn't want to do double-duty at church for the worship team, but it was a good thing I did. The morning service turned out to be really good. We had a time for testimonies and praise that took up most of the service and could really have done without the sermon after such an inspiring time, but the pastor preached anyway.
The evening service was just plain AWESOME! All the youth were back from summer camp, only one still in hospital after the food poisoning epidose. A very big worship team turned up with lots of extra instruments and singers. We rocked the church! We also had a time for testimonies for the youth and I was once again blown away by how incredible these guys are. We sang, we praised, we were loud - and I broke a nail on the last song thanks to some serious "piano bashing"! :)
The Party - after a weekend of totally winter weather, strong winds and rain, Tuesday turned out to be a great sunny day. Got up real early and rushed to put up a canopy on the lawn, set out all the food and drinks and get the house neat/tidy. Party was due to start at 11 - first guests arrived at 11:30! They carried on arriving and leaving all day long. We had a superb time, relaxing, eating, talking, joking. My brothers and some other guys got hold of the kids and played them into the ground with tennis, cricket, bike rides etc. My last guests left at 7:30, so it was a pretty long party! :) I got some very cool prezzies, more than I can remember ever getting. And this morning in my email inbox were pictures of the party, courtesy the only brother in the family rich enough to own a digital camera.
It's been a very good weekend. And now I only have 2 days of work left in the year - today and tomorrow!
But never fear, I am required as Admissions Officer to check in regularly while on holiday, to sort out new students applying and those that panic when the Embassy won't give them a study visa. So this blog will not be altogether silent. It just won't be as verbose as usual - which is probably a darn good thing..... :)
Little boxes
One thing I've avoided doing on my blog is mentioning denominations. It's something I'll probably continue doing, and here's why.
Twice this weekend (or is it more?) I've found myself categorized into a box when I mention denomination - either what I grew up with or where I currently serve. And the little boxes are usually a result of the impact one person from that denomination has had on the person who places you in the box. You could be completely different, but there you go, in the box with you! :)
I don't want to be boxed (even if Christmas is coming and my little box could be nicely decorated for the festive season). I just want to be me. I don't want to be judged and categorized by someone else's experiences. I want to be free to form impressions of who I am outside the box. So I'm going to remain denom-anon for the time being. Unboxed.
Twice this weekend (or is it more?) I've found myself categorized into a box when I mention denomination - either what I grew up with or where I currently serve. And the little boxes are usually a result of the impact one person from that denomination has had on the person who places you in the box. You could be completely different, but there you go, in the box with you! :)
I don't want to be boxed (even if Christmas is coming and my little box could be nicely decorated for the festive season). I just want to be me. I don't want to be judged and categorized by someone else's experiences. I want to be free to form impressions of who I am outside the box. So I'm going to remain denom-anon for the time being. Unboxed.
Sabbath thoughts
I don't often blog over the weekend, simply because I'm only online at work. But work is a mere 2 minute walk from my front door, so here I am, to record a few thoughts.
As per my usual Sabbath routine, I've been reading a few folk's views and articles, on emerging church, being church, rethinking religion, God, life and just about everything else. I've found some pretty profound stuff today, and have spent a lot of time in thought.
One thing that struck me was written by the guy who started TheOoze. As a former pastor, he mentions that he once went on a silent retreat and found he was angry with God. That he had yet to really let Jesus in. And once he did, Jesus just sat by him and held him through his pain. He mentions the need for more silent retreats as a way to just listen to God.
Recently I blogged on how I was having trouble listening to God, hearing His voice. I think now that it's because my life is constantly full of noise. There's no real time or place for complete and utter silence. I tried to sit and listen last week, but with dogs barking at people passing, with the same passing people wanting to say hi as they passed, with a son calling attention to something every few seconds, with life happening - it's HARD to find that stillness and quiet to just be and listen.
It would be difficult for me as a single mom to go off on a three-day retreat and take the time to be silent. But I know that if I truly want to hear God's voice in my heart, mind, head and life, I need to make more still places in the rush and busyness and noise. I need to actively create these places, put a "do not disturb" on the door, sound-proof the walls and get to that place of being still.
I sometimes get this image of a child asked to wait. It's hard for a kid to sit still and shut up for a long time, especially when they're used to doing stuff, keeping busy, being entertained. In fact it's basically impossible!
Sometimes I feel like a kid who can't sit still. Even when I'm physically still, there's still a whirlwind of thoughts and stuff going on in my head that I can't seem to quiet.
It's going to take a lot of effort to truly learn to be still, to be quiet, to shut out the outside and the inside and just wait. It's going to take sacrifices of time and energy to find a place in the day where there is silence. I may have to do some really early or really late listening - and I DO love my sleep! :) I may need to ask for space and time-out from my son, and shut the dogs away. I may need to physically take myself out of my everyday environment.
It's something I'm going to be doing a lot of pondering on. And it's something I can no longer do without. I have a feeling our time left on this earth is way too short not to do our best NOW to get into God-space, before it's too late.
As per my usual Sabbath routine, I've been reading a few folk's views and articles, on emerging church, being church, rethinking religion, God, life and just about everything else. I've found some pretty profound stuff today, and have spent a lot of time in thought.
One thing that struck me was written by the guy who started TheOoze. As a former pastor, he mentions that he once went on a silent retreat and found he was angry with God. That he had yet to really let Jesus in. And once he did, Jesus just sat by him and held him through his pain. He mentions the need for more silent retreats as a way to just listen to God.
Recently I blogged on how I was having trouble listening to God, hearing His voice. I think now that it's because my life is constantly full of noise. There's no real time or place for complete and utter silence. I tried to sit and listen last week, but with dogs barking at people passing, with the same passing people wanting to say hi as they passed, with a son calling attention to something every few seconds, with life happening - it's HARD to find that stillness and quiet to just be and listen.
It would be difficult for me as a single mom to go off on a three-day retreat and take the time to be silent. But I know that if I truly want to hear God's voice in my heart, mind, head and life, I need to make more still places in the rush and busyness and noise. I need to actively create these places, put a "do not disturb" on the door, sound-proof the walls and get to that place of being still.
I sometimes get this image of a child asked to wait. It's hard for a kid to sit still and shut up for a long time, especially when they're used to doing stuff, keeping busy, being entertained. In fact it's basically impossible!
Sometimes I feel like a kid who can't sit still. Even when I'm physically still, there's still a whirlwind of thoughts and stuff going on in my head that I can't seem to quiet.
It's going to take a lot of effort to truly learn to be still, to be quiet, to shut out the outside and the inside and just wait. It's going to take sacrifices of time and energy to find a place in the day where there is silence. I may have to do some really early or really late listening - and I DO love my sleep! :) I may need to ask for space and time-out from my son, and shut the dogs away. I may need to physically take myself out of my everyday environment.
It's something I'm going to be doing a lot of pondering on. And it's something I can no longer do without. I have a feeling our time left on this earth is way too short not to do our best NOW to get into God-space, before it's too late.
What the....?
Perhaps if I get one of these, I might be surprised by what my dogs have to say! And here I thought I could read their minds.... OH NO, what if they HATE ME??? :)
I wonder - do they also translate BACK? If so, I need one to tell Sid-the-idiot-dog not to wake up every darn morning at 5:30 when the sun comes up, or start getting happy about the day if I so much as move a toe...
I wonder - do they also translate BACK? If so, I need one to tell Sid-the-idiot-dog not to wake up every darn morning at 5:30 when the sun comes up, or start getting happy about the day if I so much as move a toe...
A different Christmas
Last night during our prayer time at worship practice, my best friend Cathy mentioned that there seems to be such a drive, an urgency lately to celebrate Christmas with more focus on Christ and less on commercialism. She's right - you just need to read a couple of your regular blogs to see it happening. It's not just a localized thing.
Waving/Drowning and others are buying goats for 3rd-world families. 14 so far! (Do I qualify for a goat as a needy family in the 3rd world, I wonder? :) ) Others are encouraging a buy-nothing Christmas, or a focus on less is more. All over there's a revival of interest in Advent, in a daily focusing on the reason for the Season.
Personally, I think it ties completely in with the "movement" (for lack of a better word) toward seeking true Being and not just Doing as a part of God's followers. Somehow when you're focusing on being true, all that external fluffy decorative stuff doesn't seem so important anymore. You want to take time to go deeper, to be more focused, to experience and share and give and celebrate. You want to help others to that place you're headed too.
It's hard when you've got a 10 year old kid who is looking forward to a pile of presents under the tree. It's tough to get his focus off what he's getting and on to where God is. It's a gradual growing that has to take place, a weaning from past practices and a refocusing, a training of the mind to think outside the (Christmas) box.
Last year for the first time we got to attend a Christmas morning service. The church I grew up in didn't have one. It started the day off on a completely different slant. It gave an incredible focus to the rest of Christmas, with glorious sounds and an intimate message still ringing in the ears. Everything else started to fade into the background.
This year we're doing it again. A God-start to the day is what my soul and spirit craves. We're going to seek out a Christmas eve service too. We're going to take time to be with God, more than the usual get-up-open-presents-eat-until-you-can't-move routine. Christmas is going to be different this year.
Waving/Drowning and others are buying goats for 3rd-world families. 14 so far! (Do I qualify for a goat as a needy family in the 3rd world, I wonder? :) ) Others are encouraging a buy-nothing Christmas, or a focus on less is more. All over there's a revival of interest in Advent, in a daily focusing on the reason for the Season.
Personally, I think it ties completely in with the "movement" (for lack of a better word) toward seeking true Being and not just Doing as a part of God's followers. Somehow when you're focusing on being true, all that external fluffy decorative stuff doesn't seem so important anymore. You want to take time to go deeper, to be more focused, to experience and share and give and celebrate. You want to help others to that place you're headed too.
It's hard when you've got a 10 year old kid who is looking forward to a pile of presents under the tree. It's tough to get his focus off what he's getting and on to where God is. It's a gradual growing that has to take place, a weaning from past practices and a refocusing, a training of the mind to think outside the (Christmas) box.
Last year for the first time we got to attend a Christmas morning service. The church I grew up in didn't have one. It started the day off on a completely different slant. It gave an incredible focus to the rest of Christmas, with glorious sounds and an intimate message still ringing in the ears. Everything else started to fade into the background.
This year we're doing it again. A God-start to the day is what my soul and spirit craves. We're going to seek out a Christmas eve service too. We're going to take time to be with God, more than the usual get-up-open-presents-eat-until-you-can't-move routine. Christmas is going to be different this year.
Thanks!
Thanks everyone for your birthday wishes! I had a super day, though it ended a bit late.
I got an emergency call from the worship team leader to say I needed to help out with both services this weekend. At Summer Camp a whole pile of kids came down with very serious food poisoning - many of them our worship team members. Some are still in hospital, one critical. So we had to band together and do double duty. That resulted in practice from 6:30-10 last night, and we'll have to be at church on Sunday from 8-11:30 and again from 5-8:30! Yet again, I'm getting miked up to sing while I play.... oh dear, seems to be a trend! :)
My afternoon off was great. Ate out, went shopping and bought a new CD for myself for a birthday present. My best friend also gave me a substantial gift voucher, so will be going to get something else soon.
So now I'm 32. And I have no idea what the next year will hold. Whether I'll celebrate my next birthday in Australia or here, whether I'll have a job this time next year or not (lost the job offered in Australia because the visa's taking too long, but have a good few self-employment ideas that I can put into practice if necessary), whether I'll be fatter or thinner... :)
But I AM looking forward to the coming year. I think it's going to be full of really good stuff and can't wait to see what will happen next.
I got an emergency call from the worship team leader to say I needed to help out with both services this weekend. At Summer Camp a whole pile of kids came down with very serious food poisoning - many of them our worship team members. Some are still in hospital, one critical. So we had to band together and do double duty. That resulted in practice from 6:30-10 last night, and we'll have to be at church on Sunday from 8-11:30 and again from 5-8:30! Yet again, I'm getting miked up to sing while I play.... oh dear, seems to be a trend! :)
My afternoon off was great. Ate out, went shopping and bought a new CD for myself for a birthday present. My best friend also gave me a substantial gift voucher, so will be going to get something else soon.
So now I'm 32. And I have no idea what the next year will hold. Whether I'll celebrate my next birthday in Australia or here, whether I'll have a job this time next year or not (lost the job offered in Australia because the visa's taking too long, but have a good few self-employment ideas that I can put into practice if necessary), whether I'll be fatter or thinner... :)
But I AM looking forward to the coming year. I think it's going to be full of really good stuff and can't wait to see what will happen next.
To clarify...
YES, it's my birthday. And a wonderful day it is! So far it's poured with rain outside. I love it - it just mustn't try raining on Tuesday when I have my Big Party though, as that's supposed to be out on the lawn.
We've eaten too much at work, using up all the "corporate gifts" that arrive at this time of year, as well as the cake I brought. Suddenly I can't keep my eyes open - age has set in, along with copious amounts of chocolate... :)
I'm taking the afternoon off to eat lunch at our favourite restuarant (if we can fit it in after our mid-morning indulgences), and then go buy myself a birthday prezzie.
Apparently while I've been at work my son has cleaned up the house, even vacuuming it! Now THAT'S what I call a great birthday present. What a kid.
Life is good!
We've eaten too much at work, using up all the "corporate gifts" that arrive at this time of year, as well as the cake I brought. Suddenly I can't keep my eyes open - age has set in, along with copious amounts of chocolate... :)
I'm taking the afternoon off to eat lunch at our favourite restuarant (if we can fit it in after our mid-morning indulgences), and then go buy myself a birthday prezzie.
Apparently while I've been at work my son has cleaned up the house, even vacuuming it! Now THAT'S what I call a great birthday present. What a kid.
Life is good!
Reflections
One should not have to come to work on one's birthday. However, when they decide to throw a party at work, independent of one's birthday, but celebrating it nonetheless, it's a pretty darned good thing! :)
Still Amazed
OK, so I've been an internet addict for a couple of years now, but I'm still amazed at the information, the connections, the awesomeness of what you can find, who you can get to know, and some things you didn't want to know, that you find on the internet.
This afternoon I was multi-chatting to 3 different friends via MSN - one in Korea, one in Australia and one in the USA . At the same time I had emails in from Tanzania, China and South Africa. My blog was going out to who-knows-who and I had a webpage open where I learnt a bit about drought-gardening, while updating information booklets for work in Word. WOW!
A hundred years ago, no-one would have imagined this at all. Letters written by hand and sent by boat took months, years. Events would happen and it might take ages to make a ripple in world conciousness. Nowadays CNN's got live coverage up on their site immediately. A juicy bit of gossip, a friend in need of prayer, all spread around the world via email in seconds.
I wonder if I'll ever get over this sense of astonishment that hits me every now and then.
This afternoon I was multi-chatting to 3 different friends via MSN - one in Korea, one in Australia and one in the USA . At the same time I had emails in from Tanzania, China and South Africa. My blog was going out to who-knows-who and I had a webpage open where I learnt a bit about drought-gardening, while updating information booklets for work in Word. WOW!
A hundred years ago, no-one would have imagined this at all. Letters written by hand and sent by boat took months, years. Events would happen and it might take ages to make a ripple in world conciousness. Nowadays CNN's got live coverage up on their site immediately. A juicy bit of gossip, a friend in need of prayer, all spread around the world via email in seconds.
I wonder if I'll ever get over this sense of astonishment that hits me every now and then.
What Dad said
My parents FINALLY replied to my email (can sleep easy now! :) ), and here's what dad, a pastor, had to say:
I want to take time to say more than the lateness of the hour allows--hopefully tomorrow--but let me just encourage you to accept the validity of your journey. You are assessing for yourself what is the core of Christianity. It's about a relationship with God through Jesus Christ and by the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. Not that such things as truth and church and community and even rules are not important--they are, but in their right place in our relationship with God.
I have attached a piece that I wrote just the other day. In my devotional studies I am now working through Mark, and I study by writing (as I think you already know). This one is the last one I did and it is right on the subject. I hope you find it helpful and affirming.
If you're interested, I've uploaded it to my site here.
I'm pretty relieved that they at least understand where I'm coming from and my struggles with how church is and how it/we should be.
I'm really going to enjoy being able to sit down in person and thrash out all my questions with my dad when we join them in Australia. He's a wise bloke! :) And, as I've often been called my father's child (do just as much introducing of new stuff and ideas as he did when he pastored here), I think he'll have a good perspective on what's in my brain.
I'm looking forward to hearing what he has to say - though I expect there will probably be a few constructive criticisms in the thoughts.
I want to take time to say more than the lateness of the hour allows--hopefully tomorrow--but let me just encourage you to accept the validity of your journey. You are assessing for yourself what is the core of Christianity. It's about a relationship with God through Jesus Christ and by the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. Not that such things as truth and church and community and even rules are not important--they are, but in their right place in our relationship with God.
I have attached a piece that I wrote just the other day. In my devotional studies I am now working through Mark, and I study by writing (as I think you already know). This one is the last one I did and it is right on the subject. I hope you find it helpful and affirming.
If you're interested, I've uploaded it to my site here.
I'm pretty relieved that they at least understand where I'm coming from and my struggles with how church is and how it/we should be.
I'm really going to enjoy being able to sit down in person and thrash out all my questions with my dad when we join them in Australia. He's a wise bloke! :) And, as I've often been called my father's child (do just as much introducing of new stuff and ideas as he did when he pastored here), I think he'll have a good perspective on what's in my brain.
I'm looking forward to hearing what he has to say - though I expect there will probably be a few constructive criticisms in the thoughts.
What's your hidden agenda?
Here's a question for those planting churches. Is your goal to share or to convert?
Let me explain. I know many are planting from within a specific denomination or belief system, and are perhaps expected to "produce" or "attract" people who agree to what you believe, who conform to the ideas the denomination holds - after all the denomination did send you out! Perhaps some are planting independently. But I know each of us has our own system of beliefs and truths that we cling to.
So are you expecting to convert those you hope to reach to your view, or are you just sharing God and letting them form their own beliefs, even if they're different from yours?
In other words, do you have a hidden agenda as part of your church plant? Or are you just going to reach out and let people experience God in the way they understand Him?
I don't mean to sound harsh or anything, just thinking and wondering and questioning what goes on in our minds behind the scenes, our inner expectations of what's to happen. Also questioning what my expectations would be (and those of others who know me) if I were to do the same. Would I be content to just share, or would I try get people to see things like I see them?
Additional thought: is it even possible to share God without your beliefs getting in the way?
Let me explain. I know many are planting from within a specific denomination or belief system, and are perhaps expected to "produce" or "attract" people who agree to what you believe, who conform to the ideas the denomination holds - after all the denomination did send you out! Perhaps some are planting independently. But I know each of us has our own system of beliefs and truths that we cling to.
So are you expecting to convert those you hope to reach to your view, or are you just sharing God and letting them form their own beliefs, even if they're different from yours?
In other words, do you have a hidden agenda as part of your church plant? Or are you just going to reach out and let people experience God in the way they understand Him?
I don't mean to sound harsh or anything, just thinking and wondering and questioning what goes on in our minds behind the scenes, our inner expectations of what's to happen. Also questioning what my expectations would be (and those of others who know me) if I were to do the same. Would I be content to just share, or would I try get people to see things like I see them?
Additional thought: is it even possible to share God without your beliefs getting in the way?
The Waiting Game
Yesterday I emailed a LONG explaination to my parents of where I am and what I'm doing spiritually. They got it, they sent a "read receipt"...... but they haven't said anything.
So now I'm wondering - is it because they agree and have nothing to add, disagree and are still thinking of a response, or are in such a state of shock they can't say anything?
Then again, some weeks it's like sending emails into a black hole - it all goes in, but nothing comes out. It would help if they weren't on the other side of the world!
So now I'm wondering - is it because they agree and have nothing to add, disagree and are still thinking of a response, or are in such a state of shock they can't say anything?
Then again, some weeks it's like sending emails into a black hole - it all goes in, but nothing comes out. It would help if they weren't on the other side of the world!
My view
Hamo has been educating us with a view of his place, so I thought I'd "educate" you with a view of mine! :) This is the view from the field above my house, up the slope of the mountain that overshadows us. My place is the red roof at the right of the pic.
Looking the other way, this is the campus where I live and work:
Looking the other way, this is the campus where I live and work:
Of Cleaning Ladies
How many cleaning ladies does it take to wash the carpet in a small office with a big cleaning machine?
4 - one works the machine and the other three sit around shouting a conversation over the din of the machine, at each other and the one doing the work. And then they knock off an hour early and go home.
Somehow I no longer feel bad about time spent blogging... :)
4 - one works the machine and the other three sit around shouting a conversation over the din of the machine, at each other and the one doing the work. And then they knock off an hour early and go home.
Somehow I no longer feel bad about time spent blogging... :)
The Pastoral Visit
The pastor of my old church was in the office building and decided to stop by - he's tried to visit me at home, but I came up with a load of (valid) excuses....
I didn't think he knew who I was, as I've only seen him a few times and stopped attending before he started duties as a pastor there. But he knows my parents (my dad was a pretty well-known pastor here in South Africa before they left for Australia), so I was out of luck there! :)
We had an interesting discussion on church, styles of doing church (didn't even GO THERE as far as BEING church is concerned), needs and cultural differences and his vision to bring all the 20/30-something who are "out of the church" (read ME) back for a Friday-night meeting type thing. I could sense a very strong traditional undercurrent in his thinking, so didn't push my luck in too many things, but we had a pretty good theological discussion.
I don't think I'll be back as a regular member though. Attending a service there still gives me more of a frustration headache than a worship experience. But at least now he's had his say and I've had my pastoral visit.
(I've also just emailed a LONG story of my current journey through to my parents, trying to explain where we're at so they have some understanding of what we're up to and there are no awkward questions or silences because we're not doing what they expect, or they don't know what we're up to... The "read receipt" is in, so they're reading it right now....)
I didn't think he knew who I was, as I've only seen him a few times and stopped attending before he started duties as a pastor there. But he knows my parents (my dad was a pretty well-known pastor here in South Africa before they left for Australia), so I was out of luck there! :)
We had an interesting discussion on church, styles of doing church (didn't even GO THERE as far as BEING church is concerned), needs and cultural differences and his vision to bring all the 20/30-something who are "out of the church" (read ME) back for a Friday-night meeting type thing. I could sense a very strong traditional undercurrent in his thinking, so didn't push my luck in too many things, but we had a pretty good theological discussion.
I don't think I'll be back as a regular member though. Attending a service there still gives me more of a frustration headache than a worship experience. But at least now he's had his say and I've had my pastoral visit.
(I've also just emailed a LONG story of my current journey through to my parents, trying to explain where we're at so they have some understanding of what we're up to and there are no awkward questions or silences because we're not doing what they expect, or they don't know what we're up to... The "read receipt" is in, so they're reading it right now....)
Oh great
Blogspot is collapsing AGAIN it seems! Checking in on fave blogs, and suddenly it all disappeared. If this carries on I might have to actually PAY for people to hear me....
Any suggestions of hosts? Ones that aren't too expensive? Our US$ exchange rate is not the best...
Until the problem is fixed I'd better take a blogbreak and just work for a change.
Any suggestions of hosts? Ones that aren't too expensive? Our US$ exchange rate is not the best...
Until the problem is fixed I'd better take a blogbreak and just work for a change.
Community Building
Have been considering the revival of community/church recently, and also thinking about my passion for urban renewal (city farms etc), growing stuff, feeding the needy with fresh-picked home-grown organic foods and using all available land as edible landscaping/food production.
So, I'm just wondering if any of our church planters have considered using city farms and urban agriculture as a way to connect others with God? It's connecting communities in other ways, defeating crime and unemployment, so why not this added extra of a relationship built with God?
I know many have moved into neighbourhoods to reach folk, or are working on house church ideas, but I haven't yet heard of any who have started a community garden, converted empty lots into things of beauty and value or similar.
I'm not involved in church planting (though it's foremost in my mind a lot of the time), but have been using my little garden to produce food for myself, shared with neighbours, and am expanding it across unused grassy areas to feed a few hungry students in the new year. I'm hoping the idea will spread to other staff and students who have existing veggie gardens, fruit trees on their property, or land sitting idle. Perhaps this could be a very good way to reach out and touch people, across the garden hose or a clump of earth.
Just thinking out loud....
Articles about what's happening: something going on in Detroit, City Farmer online info, and one family's experience in using every bit of their yard.
So, I'm just wondering if any of our church planters have considered using city farms and urban agriculture as a way to connect others with God? It's connecting communities in other ways, defeating crime and unemployment, so why not this added extra of a relationship built with God?
I know many have moved into neighbourhoods to reach folk, or are working on house church ideas, but I haven't yet heard of any who have started a community garden, converted empty lots into things of beauty and value or similar.
I'm not involved in church planting (though it's foremost in my mind a lot of the time), but have been using my little garden to produce food for myself, shared with neighbours, and am expanding it across unused grassy areas to feed a few hungry students in the new year. I'm hoping the idea will spread to other staff and students who have existing veggie gardens, fruit trees on their property, or land sitting idle. Perhaps this could be a very good way to reach out and touch people, across the garden hose or a clump of earth.
Just thinking out loud....
Articles about what's happening: something going on in Detroit, City Farmer online info, and one family's experience in using every bit of their yard.
Worship committee - the aftermath
Well, we met, and I said my say (with some heavy prompting from friend Cathy who has heard what's on my heart - I'm not usually one to speak up). I was amazed that most of what I said was totally agreed-upon, and yet frustrated by the narrow vision within organizational boundries that exists. It's still a matter of "baiting" a hook to draw people to church, instead of being Christ to people.
However, a lot of the intimate, experiential, different stuff I mentioned was well-discussed and we talked about practical implimentation of some of the ideas. We've cut down on a lot of the "performance" and are working on ways to make worship really Worship.
One thing I asked, but didn't get a response to, was "if we take away the songs, what is worship in our church?" Trying to get them to see that there's more, much more, to worship than singing a few songs in a particular order. I think a little of that sunk in, but not as much as I'd hoped.
We'll be meeting again in the new year to discuss more. I think there's a seed that's been planted. I hope it's not starved to death by an easier-to-do worship rut that we remain stuck in.
Another thought I've been having recently: as much as I'm worried about how church is "done", I think God is doing some major work in me within this organizational church - training, learning, getting used to working with people I differ from etc. Although I'd love to see more community-type-church involvement, I think God's using what I'm in now to prepare me for whatever plan He has for my future. I just need to be open enough to learn.
However, a lot of the intimate, experiential, different stuff I mentioned was well-discussed and we talked about practical implimentation of some of the ideas. We've cut down on a lot of the "performance" and are working on ways to make worship really Worship.
One thing I asked, but didn't get a response to, was "if we take away the songs, what is worship in our church?" Trying to get them to see that there's more, much more, to worship than singing a few songs in a particular order. I think a little of that sunk in, but not as much as I'd hoped.
We'll be meeting again in the new year to discuss more. I think there's a seed that's been planted. I hope it's not starved to death by an easier-to-do worship rut that we remain stuck in.
Another thought I've been having recently: as much as I'm worried about how church is "done", I think God is doing some major work in me within this organizational church - training, learning, getting used to working with people I differ from etc. Although I'd love to see more community-type-church involvement, I think God's using what I'm in now to prepare me for whatever plan He has for my future. I just need to be open enough to learn.
Return of the Back-Slider
I decided to take the plunge on Saturday night and go to my old church's Christmas function. Typically, we all had to wait outside for half an hour or more while a Business Meeting concluded...
During our wait not a single person came up to talk to me. They stood in their holy huddles and chatted, while I sat off to the side, ignored and unwelcomed. Lovely. Perhaps they think "back-sliding" is contagious?
Once inside I managed to find some co-workers who were glad to see me and spent the rest of the evening in their company. One old friend asked where I'd been, he thought I'd already moved to Australia (but didn't bother to check). I had to lie and say "here and there" - I don't think he'd understand my journey at all, and it would take more than a few hours to explain even if he did.
My son had a ball - kids always do - running with the pack and exploring in the dark. Sometimes I wish us adults could connect as freely and without prejudice.
More and more, as I look at our traditional churches, especially in this area, I'm concerned by what goes on. Where's the Being Church that is the basis of it all? Where's the acceptance? Why do they still cling to traditions and narrow views, with no room for anything other than The Right Way (according to us) To Do Things? Where's the community, the love, the serving and giving?
I wish I could shake them until their eyeballs rattle, tell them to wake up to Real Christian Living. I wish they could find the freedom and peace I have. I wish they'd re-think what they're doing and not doing.
Instead, all I can do is live what I believe and hope it may light just one spark when next I come into contact with them.
During our wait not a single person came up to talk to me. They stood in their holy huddles and chatted, while I sat off to the side, ignored and unwelcomed. Lovely. Perhaps they think "back-sliding" is contagious?
Once inside I managed to find some co-workers who were glad to see me and spent the rest of the evening in their company. One old friend asked where I'd been, he thought I'd already moved to Australia (but didn't bother to check). I had to lie and say "here and there" - I don't think he'd understand my journey at all, and it would take more than a few hours to explain even if he did.
My son had a ball - kids always do - running with the pack and exploring in the dark. Sometimes I wish us adults could connect as freely and without prejudice.
More and more, as I look at our traditional churches, especially in this area, I'm concerned by what goes on. Where's the Being Church that is the basis of it all? Where's the acceptance? Why do they still cling to traditions and narrow views, with no room for anything other than The Right Way (according to us) To Do Things? Where's the community, the love, the serving and giving?
I wish I could shake them until their eyeballs rattle, tell them to wake up to Real Christian Living. I wish they could find the freedom and peace I have. I wish they'd re-think what they're doing and not doing.
Instead, all I can do is live what I believe and hope it may light just one spark when next I come into contact with them.
Pointy ears at last!!!!
I've always wanted to be one, and it seems I am!
Elvish
To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by Quizilla
Elvish
To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by Quizilla
Aussie Reality TV
Yesterday my son and I discovered an Australian Reality TV show that we both actually enjoyed. It's called The Block.
An apartment block is bought by the show's managers and 4 couples are given 11 weeks to renovate the identical units, which are then auctioned off. They keep all profits made above the estimated value, and also get a prize if their apartment goes for the highest price.
It was pretty funny to see these folk arrive in what is basically a really messy shell, and watch their reactions to having to find a cleanish place to sleep. Already there are some tensions and things appearing. One guy has the weirdest laugh I've ever heard!
My son and I are making bets on who will crumble first, who's going to get out of doing any work (the blonde air-head probably) and who will win.
As the show airs while we're doing our final worship prac at church, we'll be taping it for later viewing. Should be fun!
The show has apparently finished up in Australia, so we're way behind the times, but will treat it as "live" and not go look who won...
I guess you could call it our attempt to find out what we're getting into by moving to Australia - the REAL Aussies behind the well-known facade. It may just scare us out of our move! :)
An apartment block is bought by the show's managers and 4 couples are given 11 weeks to renovate the identical units, which are then auctioned off. They keep all profits made above the estimated value, and also get a prize if their apartment goes for the highest price.
It was pretty funny to see these folk arrive in what is basically a really messy shell, and watch their reactions to having to find a cleanish place to sleep. Already there are some tensions and things appearing. One guy has the weirdest laugh I've ever heard!
My son and I are making bets on who will crumble first, who's going to get out of doing any work (the blonde air-head probably) and who will win.
As the show airs while we're doing our final worship prac at church, we'll be taping it for later viewing. Should be fun!
The show has apparently finished up in Australia, so we're way behind the times, but will treat it as "live" and not go look who won...
I guess you could call it our attempt to find out what we're getting into by moving to Australia - the REAL Aussies behind the well-known facade. It may just scare us out of our move! :)
What would Jesus play?
Interesting post from Steve on what Biblical or historical church stories would make a good video game over here, that got my son and I talking on Friday night. Check it out, and the comments section for some of the stuff we came up with. Leave your own ideas here or at his site!
Learning to Listen
I spent a few hours on Sabbath reading inspiring and challenging stuff, as I'd planned to. I learnt a lot, I found ideas I could connect with and some I couldn't.
I did some praying. I did some thinking. And then I tried to do some listening.
Last week the Bible study I did with my son was about learning to hear God's voice. He astounded me by coming up with something God had told him - a text he'd woken up with. That child constantly amazes me!
But in spite of all the study we did, I still find it really hard to hear God's voice. I can't seem to get my mind to stop running long enough for the "still small voice" to be heard above the bustle and busyness.
I tried to listen on Sabbath. I tried to hear what God wanted me to hear. But all was silent. It's hard to just listen when you're not used to it.
I think it's going to take a lot more practice to hear God's voice for myself. I hear Him speak through the words of others, through the ideas of others, but I want to hear Him just for me. I want to hear Him tell me what He wants me to know. I want that "word from God" that so many others seem to hear so clearly. I don't know how to hear yet, but it's something I'm going to be focusing and working on.
I did some praying. I did some thinking. And then I tried to do some listening.
Last week the Bible study I did with my son was about learning to hear God's voice. He astounded me by coming up with something God had told him - a text he'd woken up with. That child constantly amazes me!
But in spite of all the study we did, I still find it really hard to hear God's voice. I can't seem to get my mind to stop running long enough for the "still small voice" to be heard above the bustle and busyness.
I tried to listen on Sabbath. I tried to hear what God wanted me to hear. But all was silent. It's hard to just listen when you're not used to it.
I think it's going to take a lot more practice to hear God's voice for myself. I hear Him speak through the words of others, through the ideas of others, but I want to hear Him just for me. I want to hear Him tell me what He wants me to know. I want that "word from God" that so many others seem to hear so clearly. I don't know how to hear yet, but it's something I'm going to be focusing and working on.
Surprise, surprise - part 2!
There's great excitement in the family. I'm FINALLY going to be an aunt!!! My sister-in-law is expecting her first child in June. She's already 3 months pregnant, but wanted to get to that landmark before telling the world.
They've been married for a few years already, but this was a little unexpected. They hadn't planned anything at this stage, but are both completely delighted at the thought of a child on the way.
My parents are too! (Their first legitimate grandchild... :) ). We're hoping they'll come out from Australia to meet the baby. And I'm also hoping now that our migration visa takes a good few months to be processed. This is one thing I don't want to miss!
I know they'll make great parents. My brother is going to be an excellent dad. Now we're just waiting to see if it's a boy or a girl. I'm voting girl...wonder if I'm right.
They've been married for a few years already, but this was a little unexpected. They hadn't planned anything at this stage, but are both completely delighted at the thought of a child on the way.
My parents are too! (Their first legitimate grandchild... :) ). We're hoping they'll come out from Australia to meet the baby. And I'm also hoping now that our migration visa takes a good few months to be processed. This is one thing I don't want to miss!
I know they'll make great parents. My brother is going to be an excellent dad. Now we're just waiting to see if it's a boy or a girl. I'm voting girl...wonder if I'm right.
Surprise, surprise!
I got a bit of a shock at church last night. We had not planned on a big worship team, as the youth who make up most of the evening service are all on Summer Camp (joining another 1200 kids!!! WOW!). So we got a last-minute group of 4 together, with a quick practice before service planned.
Well, I turned up at church expecting to play the piano as usual - only to find I was on a keyboard, right out FRONT of the stage (instead of hiding behind the piano) and with a MICROPHONE! Now, I don't sing. Not if there are others listening. Sure I had to train the singers for a recent worship outreach programme, but I was nowhere near a mike....!
Slightly terrified, I had to make the best of it. The sound guys kept asking if I couldn't sing louder - but usually I can't sing and play at the same time, so it was taking some doing to concentrate on words, music and actually hitting the right notes. It's amazing how a mike can obscure most of the page of a music file, necessitating constant peering around the big blue sponge thing to see what you're playing/singing. Also, I have more a contralto voice than soprano - and those praise songs are usually written in Darlene-style (Hillsong) high notes!
Thankfully the church wasn't crowded, the congregation (hopefully) sang lounder than us, and I managed to multi-task without too bad a sound on either instrument or voice. Let the piano carry the instrumentation when it got too complicated. (Oh, the guy on the piano was also the preacher for the night - seems we were all multi-tasking!)
I've always wanted to lead worship, but I know I don't have the voice and have never been able to play and sing at the same time, which is how I'd probably do it. A while ago I told God "if You want me to lead worship, You'll have to get Richard to ask me. I'm going to say nothing, not offer to do it or anything. If You think I'm ready, You make it happen." Didn't think it would happen. But it seems God thinks otherwise. Looks like I'm on another unexpected learning curve.
Be careful what you wish for!!!
Well, I turned up at church expecting to play the piano as usual - only to find I was on a keyboard, right out FRONT of the stage (instead of hiding behind the piano) and with a MICROPHONE! Now, I don't sing. Not if there are others listening. Sure I had to train the singers for a recent worship outreach programme, but I was nowhere near a mike....!
Slightly terrified, I had to make the best of it. The sound guys kept asking if I couldn't sing louder - but usually I can't sing and play at the same time, so it was taking some doing to concentrate on words, music and actually hitting the right notes. It's amazing how a mike can obscure most of the page of a music file, necessitating constant peering around the big blue sponge thing to see what you're playing/singing. Also, I have more a contralto voice than soprano - and those praise songs are usually written in Darlene-style (Hillsong) high notes!
Thankfully the church wasn't crowded, the congregation (hopefully) sang lounder than us, and I managed to multi-task without too bad a sound on either instrument or voice. Let the piano carry the instrumentation when it got too complicated. (Oh, the guy on the piano was also the preacher for the night - seems we were all multi-tasking!)
I've always wanted to lead worship, but I know I don't have the voice and have never been able to play and sing at the same time, which is how I'd probably do it. A while ago I told God "if You want me to lead worship, You'll have to get Richard to ask me. I'm going to say nothing, not offer to do it or anything. If You think I'm ready, You make it happen." Didn't think it would happen. But it seems God thinks otherwise. Looks like I'm on another unexpected learning curve.
Be careful what you wish for!!!
True Colours
Decided to find out which colour I am, and here it is!
#E0FFFF |
Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well. Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working. Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation. |
Rest
Yet again I'm really looking forward to a Sabbath rest. It's been a week in which we've been thrown out of our normal routine (rut?), with not much sleep and too many activities. We've stayed up later now that my son is on holiday, we've eaten way too much at a few restaurants. I've been up as the sun rises (5:30!) to care for a neighbour's pets, water the garden and (this morning) attempt to sew something new to wear.
So all I have planned for tomorrow is a day of absolute and complete rest. I have a few articles I'd like to read from TheOoze, Next-Wave, DTour and Koinonia, but they are pretty intense and could be too much of a brain-strain. I tend to only be able to "eat" one at a time thanks to their richness and flavour, mind-food supreme!
Good weather is predicted, and as long as the car lasts we might be able to spend the day outdoors. Last weekend it was an entire day in the Nature Reserve with family - awesome. This weekend it could be anywhere, even the wilds of my front yard!
But the MAIN thing it's going to be is rest - no worries, no heavy stuff, no stress, just rest. Just what I need.
So all I have planned for tomorrow is a day of absolute and complete rest. I have a few articles I'd like to read from TheOoze, Next-Wave, DTour and Koinonia, but they are pretty intense and could be too much of a brain-strain. I tend to only be able to "eat" one at a time thanks to their richness and flavour, mind-food supreme!
Good weather is predicted, and as long as the car lasts we might be able to spend the day outdoors. Last weekend it was an entire day in the Nature Reserve with family - awesome. This weekend it could be anywhere, even the wilds of my front yard!
But the MAIN thing it's going to be is rest - no worries, no heavy stuff, no stress, just rest. Just what I need.
Being Church Update
It's funny - since I decided to try "be church" my attitude toward work and life seems to have changed.
I mentioned yesterday that a small bonus (as opposed to a substanial one) doesn't bother me as much as it seems to bother everyone else. But I've noticed other things that bother everyone else and leave me un-involved. I've stopped thinking about work in bad terms. I don't get upset over the office gossip or the back-biting or little nastinesses. I'm just happy that I'm employed, get a monthly amount of cash coming in and have a place to live. Everything else has stopped bugging me - water off a duck's back!
I've found myself wanting to smile, say thank you for little things, be nice to difficult people, to make a difference if I can in someone's day.
I seem to be looking at people with new eyes too. Looking deeper, as it were. Seeing the person under the facade. I've noticed a few things that haven't been apparent in all the years I've known some of the folk.
I seem to have a peace inside. It's like I'm teflon-coated.
Strange....
I mentioned yesterday that a small bonus (as opposed to a substanial one) doesn't bother me as much as it seems to bother everyone else. But I've noticed other things that bother everyone else and leave me un-involved. I've stopped thinking about work in bad terms. I don't get upset over the office gossip or the back-biting or little nastinesses. I'm just happy that I'm employed, get a monthly amount of cash coming in and have a place to live. Everything else has stopped bugging me - water off a duck's back!
I've found myself wanting to smile, say thank you for little things, be nice to difficult people, to make a difference if I can in someone's day.
I seem to be looking at people with new eyes too. Looking deeper, as it were. Seeing the person under the facade. I've noticed a few things that haven't been apparent in all the years I've known some of the folk.
I seem to have a peace inside. It's like I'm teflon-coated.
Strange....
Emerging Underground
I'm starting to think that finding any "emerging" churches, especially here in South Africa, is similar to the Romans trying to seek out the Christian movement - you hear rumours, you know it's happening, but for the life of you, you just can't find them!
It's no use asking within known denominations. They just look at you funny and behind your back whisper "Back-slider alert! What's that woman on about?".
I guess our culture here is still very much traditional. We've always been a ramrod-stiff-back people, brought up in churches that have hard pews, hard-cover hymnals, and hard-line religion. We went forth into the land in ox-wagons, with dry-dust hearts and drought-lined faces. It's a heredity that's hard to move beyond.
Yes, there are those doing things differently, like the Soul Gardeners folk. And still in my area, house church, emerging church, alt.worship, they're all just whispers on the wind. They're an underground movement, only showing by cracks in the dehydrated earth above that there's activity somewhere below.
There are hearts ready, I can feel it. Hearts like my sister-in-law's, crying out for refreshing, reality, connection. Lone voices hearing echoes of others bouncing off the walls, groping in the dark toward the sound, but yet not quite connecting.
What will it take to let the underground workings emerge above the surface? A uniting voice, a public cry for more? A hunger that can no longer go unheeded? A falling-away until the sleeping saints wake up to the reality of only two or three gathering? Is a leader all it will take for an army to form? For leaping faith to manifest in reality? For microcosms to unite in a mighty body?
It's no use asking within known denominations. They just look at you funny and behind your back whisper "Back-slider alert! What's that woman on about?".
I guess our culture here is still very much traditional. We've always been a ramrod-stiff-back people, brought up in churches that have hard pews, hard-cover hymnals, and hard-line religion. We went forth into the land in ox-wagons, with dry-dust hearts and drought-lined faces. It's a heredity that's hard to move beyond.
Yes, there are those doing things differently, like the Soul Gardeners folk. And still in my area, house church, emerging church, alt.worship, they're all just whispers on the wind. They're an underground movement, only showing by cracks in the dehydrated earth above that there's activity somewhere below.
There are hearts ready, I can feel it. Hearts like my sister-in-law's, crying out for refreshing, reality, connection. Lone voices hearing echoes of others bouncing off the walls, groping in the dark toward the sound, but yet not quite connecting.
What will it take to let the underground workings emerge above the surface? A uniting voice, a public cry for more? A hunger that can no longer go unheeded? A falling-away until the sleeping saints wake up to the reality of only two or three gathering? Is a leader all it will take for an army to form? For leaping faith to manifest in reality? For microcosms to unite in a mighty body?
That's the Spirit!
It seems the bosses are all already in holiday mode. Not only have we eaten out twice this week, but for the third day in a row are going home real early! Tuesday and today it's at 4, yesterday (for those who didn't leave at 11:30 to eat out and then go straight home) it was at 3.
Do you hear me complaining? Not a chance! It seems we've all had enough of the working year and will take any chance at a bit of a break. I used yesterday's to mow my lawn and sit outside admiring the view. I may use today's to go sew a new shirt for tomorrow, or perhaps I should rather wash the dishes.... :)
And today they finally decided to give us a small bonus this year, instead of the predicted nothing - it's been a tough financial year here. There are those who are moaning at such a pittance - not me! Anything extra is a blessing.
Here comes the holiday spirit! Yeeeehaaaaaw!!!
Do you hear me complaining? Not a chance! It seems we've all had enough of the working year and will take any chance at a bit of a break. I used yesterday's to mow my lawn and sit outside admiring the view. I may use today's to go sew a new shirt for tomorrow, or perhaps I should rather wash the dishes.... :)
And today they finally decided to give us a small bonus this year, instead of the predicted nothing - it's been a tough financial year here. There are those who are moaning at such a pittance - not me! Anything extra is a blessing.
Here comes the holiday spirit! Yeeeehaaaaaw!!!
Worship Planning
I'm on my church's worship committee (appointed with hesitation over "membership issues", as I'm not officially a member). On Friday afternoon we're meeting to discuss our vision for next year as a worship and creative arts team - drama and dance are being included soon.
In preparation for the meeting I've been asked to pray and think about where I see us headed next year. Trouble is, I've been thinking WAY outside the box and I really don't think what's in my head lines up with anyone else's vision!
After the last meeting I was really, really bothered by the thought that it's becoming more a performance than worship. We've even booked dates to do 4 worship performances next year! That we're stuck in a rut of "Hillsong" type worship - and perhaps try to imitate them unconciously instead of developing our own style for our own group. That worship needs serious re-definition in this church. And that we need to have more participation, more facilitation, less leading.
The current thinking of the worship leader is that we need to "take people from the marketplace into God's presence" through choice of songs, order of elements within what's defined as the "worship" section of the service and such. It's almost like we've put a ring through the folk's nose and are leading them unwilling where WE want to go, but not necessarily where THEY want to. That bugs me.
So I honestly don't know what I'm going to say at this meeting. Whether I should shoot my mouth off and go off on tangents, or just quietly sit there, and resign later. I'm getting more and more friction from the new guy and am not too sure I have a role to play in where this worship team is headed next year.
But I could be wrong. I'll go along and say one or two things, then see what happens.
Perhaps I'm there to throw spanners in the works and inject new thought patterns or ideas. Or I could, yet again, just be the Odd One Out.
In preparation for the meeting I've been asked to pray and think about where I see us headed next year. Trouble is, I've been thinking WAY outside the box and I really don't think what's in my head lines up with anyone else's vision!
After the last meeting I was really, really bothered by the thought that it's becoming more a performance than worship. We've even booked dates to do 4 worship performances next year! That we're stuck in a rut of "Hillsong" type worship - and perhaps try to imitate them unconciously instead of developing our own style for our own group. That worship needs serious re-definition in this church. And that we need to have more participation, more facilitation, less leading.
The current thinking of the worship leader is that we need to "take people from the marketplace into God's presence" through choice of songs, order of elements within what's defined as the "worship" section of the service and such. It's almost like we've put a ring through the folk's nose and are leading them unwilling where WE want to go, but not necessarily where THEY want to. That bugs me.
So I honestly don't know what I'm going to say at this meeting. Whether I should shoot my mouth off and go off on tangents, or just quietly sit there, and resign later. I'm getting more and more friction from the new guy and am not too sure I have a role to play in where this worship team is headed next year.
But I could be wrong. I'll go along and say one or two things, then see what happens.
Perhaps I'm there to throw spanners in the works and inject new thought patterns or ideas. Or I could, yet again, just be the Odd One Out.
The Good Old Days
Back in the Jurassic period when I was a kid in Zimbabwe, school holidays were very different from the way they work today. We had no TV. We only had our bikes, our friends and our imaginations - and freedom to roam.
We'd swim in the roadside ditches after a thunderstorm. We built forts and teepees and tree houses. We constructed secret tunnels in the elephant grass fields. We had picnics with edible wild plants. We made bike paths over fields and through ditches. We climbed gigantic granite boulders and explored the neighbourhood. We rode our bikes fast down the biggest hill we could find, or made the hour-long trip to the nearest big shop and back. We stopped off for ice-creams so large they melted before you got to the cone.
Our families had picnics and potlucks. We went to natural attractions like the river which flowed over smooth rocks, making a natural waterslide that ended in a lake. We went on bush-walks. We camped in the Vumba mountains, at Mana Pools on the Zambezi River, at Lake McIlwain. We travelled to our grandparents in South Africa and to friends around Zimbabwe.
We had secret groups and passwords and meeting places. We made what we didn't have - toys, hidey-holes, doll clothes, snacks from strange things such as salt and a rhubard-like garden plant.
We tracked animals, we ate marula fruit. We learned what birds lived where and how to run from buffalos or rhinos.
I wish my son's school holidays looked like mine...
We'd swim in the roadside ditches after a thunderstorm. We built forts and teepees and tree houses. We constructed secret tunnels in the elephant grass fields. We had picnics with edible wild plants. We made bike paths over fields and through ditches. We climbed gigantic granite boulders and explored the neighbourhood. We rode our bikes fast down the biggest hill we could find, or made the hour-long trip to the nearest big shop and back. We stopped off for ice-creams so large they melted before you got to the cone.
Our families had picnics and potlucks. We went to natural attractions like the river which flowed over smooth rocks, making a natural waterslide that ended in a lake. We went on bush-walks. We camped in the Vumba mountains, at Mana Pools on the Zambezi River, at Lake McIlwain. We travelled to our grandparents in South Africa and to friends around Zimbabwe.
We had secret groups and passwords and meeting places. We made what we didn't have - toys, hidey-holes, doll clothes, snacks from strange things such as salt and a rhubard-like garden plant.
We tracked animals, we ate marula fruit. We learned what birds lived where and how to run from buffalos or rhinos.
I wish my son's school holidays looked like mine...
Day One
It's Day One of my son's school holidays, and already he's bored. Last year my brother kindly lent him a Playstation, which kept him going all holiday, even though some of the games only functioned in black-and-white mode. I eventually had to tell him "get dressed and eat before you play, and when I get home after work it's my turn for the TV." I'd come home to find him still in his pyjamas at lunchtime!
This holiday there's no Playstation. There's only the great outdoors and his friend down the road. We've just been given a big box of sports equipment - tennis, basketball, soccer, frisbee etc stuff - so I'm trying to get him to go try some of that out with his friend. I also need to replace a tyre on his bike. And once they clean the campus pool there's always swimming (if he remembers how after the long winter!).
But I know I can look forward to regular calls and popping-in's to the office with the same old tune... I'm BORED!
This holiday there's no Playstation. There's only the great outdoors and his friend down the road. We've just been given a big box of sports equipment - tennis, basketball, soccer, frisbee etc stuff - so I'm trying to get him to go try some of that out with his friend. I also need to replace a tyre on his bike. And once they clean the campus pool there's always swimming (if he remembers how after the long winter!).
But I know I can look forward to regular calls and popping-in's to the office with the same old tune... I'm BORED!
Chocolate Mousse
Just for Luke, here's my chocolate mousse recipe:
Melt one large bar dark chocolate with a small packet (200g or so) of white marshmallows and half a tin of evaporated milk (Carnation or Ideal, depending where you are in the world). Whip the remaining milk until nice and frothy (it helps to chill it first). Mix the two together, put into your serving bowl and let it firm up in the fridge overnight.
You can decorate it with whipped cream and crumbled Peppermint Crisp before serving. You can also double this recipe, or triple it, depending on your chocolate cravings. Or add more chocolate, a nut-choc bar or similar etc. It's one of those throw-together things.
NOTE: The best bit is at the bottom of the dish, where the chocolate tends to settle in a rich layer. Make sure you're the last to be served and ask to lick the dish.
Melt one large bar dark chocolate with a small packet (200g or so) of white marshmallows and half a tin of evaporated milk (Carnation or Ideal, depending where you are in the world). Whip the remaining milk until nice and frothy (it helps to chill it first). Mix the two together, put into your serving bowl and let it firm up in the fridge overnight.
You can decorate it with whipped cream and crumbled Peppermint Crisp before serving. You can also double this recipe, or triple it, depending on your chocolate cravings. Or add more chocolate, a nut-choc bar or similar etc. It's one of those throw-together things.
NOTE: The best bit is at the bottom of the dish, where the chocolate tends to settle in a rich layer. Make sure you're the last to be served and ask to lick the dish.
Random inner thoughts
Random acts of kindness, done anon, are part of being church.
Getting your mind blown by concepts every day is not a good thing. You need nothing-days, time to reflect and apply or you might require a padded cell.
Be nice. Even if they're not. Their verson of Christianity should not determine yours.
Chocolate mousse comes in many forms. My mousse still beats most others hands-down.
There are some who are legalistic. They need this. You don't. But don't judge them for their opinion - just respect their view and be who you are.
Parents understand more than you think, no matter how old you are. Don't be scared to share what you're doing, even if you think they'll hate it.
There's nothing as beautiful as an early-morning dewy newly-opened rose.
Being a Christ-follower takes many forms. Each to his own. Don't be too quick to jump to conclusions about a disciple, simply because of where they are or what they say. Whose to say you're right and they're wrong anyway.
Some days wind is good. Some days aircon is better.
Never miss a chance to smile at someone. You never know what impact it could have on their life and yours.
Dogs are the best! Your family is never as happy to see you come home, get out of bed, go to the kitchen, put on your walking shoes or buy bones.
It's amazing who you have stuff in common with. High and mighty folks are just as human as the rest of us bottom-feeders.
Grass grows quicker than weeds in the summer. Freshly-mown grass smells better than freshly-pulled weeds.
If someone else feeds your son fruit as a meal he'll eat it and crave more. If you try to he won't.
There is always hope.
Life is uncertain. Eat chocolate now or you'll regret it for eternity (I don't think there's chocolate in heaven).
You can't rush God. Just wait, sit still and try not to kick your shoes against the chair. Good things are coming.
Veggies come before dessert. Learn your lessons while they're still warm, or you'll have to have them cold before you receive your reward.
Getting your mind blown by concepts every day is not a good thing. You need nothing-days, time to reflect and apply or you might require a padded cell.
Be nice. Even if they're not. Their verson of Christianity should not determine yours.
Chocolate mousse comes in many forms. My mousse still beats most others hands-down.
There are some who are legalistic. They need this. You don't. But don't judge them for their opinion - just respect their view and be who you are.
Parents understand more than you think, no matter how old you are. Don't be scared to share what you're doing, even if you think they'll hate it.
There's nothing as beautiful as an early-morning dewy newly-opened rose.
Being a Christ-follower takes many forms. Each to his own. Don't be too quick to jump to conclusions about a disciple, simply because of where they are or what they say. Whose to say you're right and they're wrong anyway.
Some days wind is good. Some days aircon is better.
Never miss a chance to smile at someone. You never know what impact it could have on their life and yours.
Dogs are the best! Your family is never as happy to see you come home, get out of bed, go to the kitchen, put on your walking shoes or buy bones.
It's amazing who you have stuff in common with. High and mighty folks are just as human as the rest of us bottom-feeders.
Grass grows quicker than weeds in the summer. Freshly-mown grass smells better than freshly-pulled weeds.
If someone else feeds your son fruit as a meal he'll eat it and crave more. If you try to he won't.
There is always hope.
Life is uncertain. Eat chocolate now or you'll regret it for eternity (I don't think there's chocolate in heaven).
You can't rush God. Just wait, sit still and try not to kick your shoes against the chair. Good things are coming.
Veggies come before dessert. Learn your lessons while they're still warm, or you'll have to have them cold before you receive your reward.
The Aftermath
We had our end-of-year staff function last night at a beachside hotel's conference centre. It was one of the best in years - everyone was very relaxed and had a great time. As usual we overate until we couldn't overeat anymore. I didn't even manage to touch dessert!
And today we get to do it all again for our department year-end function. Only this time I think I'm going to stick to a salad!:)
And today we get to do it all again for our department year-end function. Only this time I think I'm going to stick to a salad!:)
Peering over your shoulder
What's up with our fascination with other people's lives?
There are days I find myself watching strange things like Oprah, Dr Phil, Survivor, Big Brother... And I have to ask WHY?
What's missing in my life that I have to go look for in someone else's? Is it to make me feel better about my own problems? - "see, everyone else has HUGE ones, so mine are not bad". Or perhaps about my sins - "at least I'm not sleeping with my sister-in-law's father's ex..." Or perhaps about my house - "wow, look at America's ugliest room! Mine's better than that so I won't clean today or make an effort to create a welcoming home." Or about my body - "I'm not as fat as her, so who cares if I overeat again." Or about my religion - "at least I'm not trapped in a weird cult like them."
Maybe it's a way to live things that we normally wouldn't try because the consequences are just too scary. We'll let others take the fall and enjoy watching them do it.
Reality TV and talk shows are a pretty sad addiction! Yet I find myself cluttering up my head every now and then with stuff I really don't need to know, even when I don't want to.
And yet I have to wonder - what if they stuck a camera in my life for a day? What would the world see? In all likelihood I'd be just as bad as, if not worse than, those I observe on the box. I'd be caught out not walking what I talk. Those nasty habits would be out in the open. Dr Phil would have something to say I'm sure!
If I had a camera crew following me all over, recording every second of my day, what I do, how I say things, whether I am a good mom or not, would that make me change my ways? Would I "act good" just because I know someone's watching?
The Bible says all we do and say is written up in heaven. There's no way we can hide what's been noted there. One day it will be available for all to read!
Sobering thought.
There are days I find myself watching strange things like Oprah, Dr Phil, Survivor, Big Brother... And I have to ask WHY?
What's missing in my life that I have to go look for in someone else's? Is it to make me feel better about my own problems? - "see, everyone else has HUGE ones, so mine are not bad". Or perhaps about my sins - "at least I'm not sleeping with my sister-in-law's father's ex..." Or perhaps about my house - "wow, look at America's ugliest room! Mine's better than that so I won't clean today or make an effort to create a welcoming home." Or about my body - "I'm not as fat as her, so who cares if I overeat again." Or about my religion - "at least I'm not trapped in a weird cult like them."
Maybe it's a way to live things that we normally wouldn't try because the consequences are just too scary. We'll let others take the fall and enjoy watching them do it.
Reality TV and talk shows are a pretty sad addiction! Yet I find myself cluttering up my head every now and then with stuff I really don't need to know, even when I don't want to.
And yet I have to wonder - what if they stuck a camera in my life for a day? What would the world see? In all likelihood I'd be just as bad as, if not worse than, those I observe on the box. I'd be caught out not walking what I talk. Those nasty habits would be out in the open. Dr Phil would have something to say I'm sure!
If I had a camera crew following me all over, recording every second of my day, what I do, how I say things, whether I am a good mom or not, would that make me change my ways? Would I "act good" just because I know someone's watching?
The Bible says all we do and say is written up in heaven. There's no way we can hide what's been noted there. One day it will be available for all to read!
Sobering thought.
Two-faced me
Something I said earlier today has been bugging me. In the Sunday Brunch questions, I mentioned that my neighbours of 7 years have never been into my flat. That we don't really get along, and have nothing in common, just talk over the fence.
And yet, here I want to get a home-church-type group going, possibly with strangers, or casual acquaintances.
It seems I'm still way too stuck in my comfortable rut. If I can't ask my neighbours over, how can I meet with others who I might not be comfortable with? How will I truly get into community with people if I'm not practicing it now?
It's nice to hide in our little same-type groups, with people we can relate to and who share our views. But to step out of that and take chances, to really get to know those we pass each day - that's a whole other story!
So it seems I've got some work to do, some rethinking and relationship building. Right in my back yard.
(Hamo, could you use another "backyard" missionary? :) )
And yet, here I want to get a home-church-type group going, possibly with strangers, or casual acquaintances.
It seems I'm still way too stuck in my comfortable rut. If I can't ask my neighbours over, how can I meet with others who I might not be comfortable with? How will I truly get into community with people if I'm not practicing it now?
It's nice to hide in our little same-type groups, with people we can relate to and who share our views. But to step out of that and take chances, to really get to know those we pass each day - that's a whole other story!
So it seems I've got some work to do, some rethinking and relationship building. Right in my back yard.
(Hamo, could you use another "backyard" missionary? :) )
Oh joy...
Tonight my son's school has their annual prize-giving awards ceremony. A long and drawn-out affair, as each child receives something, even if it's for being cheerful 'cos they couldn't find any other good points in the kid. Everyone from grade 1 to 7 gets called up by name, hand-shaken, presented, and stands in a row with the rest of their grade, after which we applaud and they sit down.
Then the special awards are handed out for those strange kids who gave themselves more work this year and wrote hard exams with non-this-school institutions. And if they did more than one, they get called up more than once.
Then it's the teacher's turns - awards for excellence, service, you name it.
Last year one of the grade 1's, who had been sitting for an hour and a half past his bedtime, kindly threw up in the front row, he was so tired. After which my mother and I suggested they do the evening like it's done at my mom's school - the lower grades get an early ceremony, the older grades get a seperate and later one.
Unfortunately it doesn't seem to have affected this year's schedule. So tonight we all get to sit through a really long and boring event, stifling yawns and clapping dutifully as our bums go numb on hard wooden chairs.
Can't you just hear our enthusiasm?
Then the special awards are handed out for those strange kids who gave themselves more work this year and wrote hard exams with non-this-school institutions. And if they did more than one, they get called up more than once.
Then it's the teacher's turns - awards for excellence, service, you name it.
Last year one of the grade 1's, who had been sitting for an hour and a half past his bedtime, kindly threw up in the front row, he was so tired. After which my mother and I suggested they do the evening like it's done at my mom's school - the lower grades get an early ceremony, the older grades get a seperate and later one.
Unfortunately it doesn't seem to have affected this year's schedule. So tonight we all get to sit through a really long and boring event, stifling yawns and clapping dutifully as our bums go numb on hard wooden chairs.
Can't you just hear our enthusiasm?
My own Eden
There's a major bright spot in my life - my garden. I love getting into it and doing stuff, or just checking out what's new and growing.
Yesterday we went to Superplants - a super nursery - and stocked up on well-rotted cow-smelling bags of goodness for my veggies and roses, with a few extra veg seeds and herbs.
As soon as I get home from work each day I dive straight into the garden and do a half-hour's relaxing and unwinding - pulling weeds in the lawn, watering, dead-heading or just wandering around measuring the things that have grown since yesterday, checking on what's flowering etc.
With tomatoes currently at 12 bucks a kilo, I'm relieved to see the first tomato flowers appearing. The plants have been well-manured and we're looking forward to 3 different varieties of tomatoes soon. My first zucchini is nearly ready for eating (my son does NOT rejoice). We're still enjoying a lot of other produce too. And all this from about 3x5m of land. Amazing what you can grow!
I'm not a conventional, everything-in-rows gardener. I like to chuck it all in together and see what happens. So far it's proved that a LOT can grow in a small space without problems - and that it keeps the weeds down too.
Call it farming practice, call it stress relief. At this time of year there's nowhere better to be than my garden. Bring it on, summer!
Yesterday we went to Superplants - a super nursery - and stocked up on well-rotted cow-smelling bags of goodness for my veggies and roses, with a few extra veg seeds and herbs.
As soon as I get home from work each day I dive straight into the garden and do a half-hour's relaxing and unwinding - pulling weeds in the lawn, watering, dead-heading or just wandering around measuring the things that have grown since yesterday, checking on what's flowering etc.
With tomatoes currently at 12 bucks a kilo, I'm relieved to see the first tomato flowers appearing. The plants have been well-manured and we're looking forward to 3 different varieties of tomatoes soon. My first zucchini is nearly ready for eating (my son does NOT rejoice). We're still enjoying a lot of other produce too. And all this from about 3x5m of land. Amazing what you can grow!
I'm not a conventional, everything-in-rows gardener. I like to chuck it all in together and see what happens. So far it's proved that a LOT can grow in a small space without problems - and that it keeps the weeds down too.
Call it farming practice, call it stress relief. At this time of year there's nowhere better to be than my garden. Bring it on, summer!
The Chasm's Back
This weekend I was completely spiritually down-and-out. 2 weeks ago I had an incredible connection to God and now it seems the power's gone out and left me in the cold, shivering dark. I read, I study, I explore, and it's all just words - nothing's going in, it's skimming by as if my brain as been oil-coated.
I don't know why I have these mountainous highs and lows. I wish I could stay on an even keel, constant in my love and passion for God, feeling connected and hearing His voice.
Last night I reached a decided low. We had our final worship presentation up for the evening service and were there to practice early. The new pastor hijacked what has been my responsibility for months - he just completely took over and made me feel like an extra, unwanted leporous limb. And perhaps that just was the last straw. I started wondering what the heck I was doing there, feeling resentment and resolving not to get involved in the same way again. I felt pushed out and pushed down, lowered in usefulness to not only the worship team, but also to God. Like the ministry I feel He's called me to is just not what I can do, as if I'm a complete outsider.
I find myself disagreeing with the vision of the worship team - their drive to make the "presentation" perfect, to fill the blank spots with sound or movement and not allow silence, to be polished and perform, to practice everything to death and repeat a good programme until it dies an unnatural death. Where's the worship in all that? Where's God? Where's the leading of the Spirit? Has it all turned into a competition for greatness and better-than-the-next church?
My best friend got hold of me after the service to find out why I looked so down and p'd off. She reminded me that God doesn't think like men do, nor does He see what we do. She's right. I have to have a heart for worship, no matter what goes on. It's just jolly hard to do.
One redeeming thing last night was yet again the youth at this church. They're amazing! A call was made in response to our presentation, and the youth streamed down the aisles to kneel at the stage and talk to God. It wasn't a peer-pressure thing either - you could see that. I was on stage with the singers and just found myself trying to sing through tears as they kept coming and filling up the front.
I guess after 2 weeks in the dark of the canyon, the depths of the chasm, I was not only blown away by their response, but wanted to feel like that too. I wanted to be able to make the connection with God. I just don't know how to right now. I know He's there and He's close. I just can't feel Him and it's got me really down.
I don't know why I have these mountainous highs and lows. I wish I could stay on an even keel, constant in my love and passion for God, feeling connected and hearing His voice.
Last night I reached a decided low. We had our final worship presentation up for the evening service and were there to practice early. The new pastor hijacked what has been my responsibility for months - he just completely took over and made me feel like an extra, unwanted leporous limb. And perhaps that just was the last straw. I started wondering what the heck I was doing there, feeling resentment and resolving not to get involved in the same way again. I felt pushed out and pushed down, lowered in usefulness to not only the worship team, but also to God. Like the ministry I feel He's called me to is just not what I can do, as if I'm a complete outsider.
I find myself disagreeing with the vision of the worship team - their drive to make the "presentation" perfect, to fill the blank spots with sound or movement and not allow silence, to be polished and perform, to practice everything to death and repeat a good programme until it dies an unnatural death. Where's the worship in all that? Where's God? Where's the leading of the Spirit? Has it all turned into a competition for greatness and better-than-the-next church?
My best friend got hold of me after the service to find out why I looked so down and p'd off. She reminded me that God doesn't think like men do, nor does He see what we do. She's right. I have to have a heart for worship, no matter what goes on. It's just jolly hard to do.
One redeeming thing last night was yet again the youth at this church. They're amazing! A call was made in response to our presentation, and the youth streamed down the aisles to kneel at the stage and talk to God. It wasn't a peer-pressure thing either - you could see that. I was on stage with the singers and just found myself trying to sing through tears as they kept coming and filling up the front.
I guess after 2 weeks in the dark of the canyon, the depths of the chasm, I was not only blown away by their response, but wanted to feel like that too. I wanted to be able to make the connection with God. I just don't know how to right now. I know He's there and He's close. I just can't feel Him and it's got me really down.
Sunday/Monday Brunch
This, of course, hit close to home:
1. How many people and pets live in your home?
2 people, 3 dogs and a fish
2. Do you rent, own or live at home?
We rent by force (the rent comes off my salary without me ever seeing it, and could go up without me knowing about it - part of a tax-saving plan apparently), but are hoping to one day not only own, but build our own home ourselves (or "myself", as I don't think my son will do too much helping, though he has designed our front greenhouse area, which will be double-glass-walled into one side of the house. By the time we get our land, he'll be old enough to either be away at uni or have his own place).
3. How many rooms are in your house?
Well - 1 bedroom, but there are also a lounge-ish thingy, a kitchen and bathroom. My son gets the back of the lounge behind the couches as his room.
4. Is there enough room in your house to comfortably accommodate overnight guests?
Not really, but my parents stay over when out from Australia. They get my room, I get the couch.
5. How close do your neighbors live? Do you know them well and are they welcome in your home?
TOO close. The walls and ceilings are solid cement. You can hear the neighbours walking, dropping things, scraping chairs - even going to the loo! You get to sit in on arguments and their favourite (in one case "only") CD. They get to watch you in the garden from above, and see you tanning in your bikini or having coffee in your pyjamas on the verandah. After 7 years of this, I'm ready to live where I can't even SEE the neighbours, never mind hear them.
I know them reasonably well, but have never had them over. We tend to live in each other's pockets and talk over the fence - that's as far as it goes. I don't have much in common with any of them.
1. How many people and pets live in your home?
2 people, 3 dogs and a fish
2. Do you rent, own or live at home?
We rent by force (the rent comes off my salary without me ever seeing it, and could go up without me knowing about it - part of a tax-saving plan apparently), but are hoping to one day not only own, but build our own home ourselves (or "myself", as I don't think my son will do too much helping, though he has designed our front greenhouse area, which will be double-glass-walled into one side of the house. By the time we get our land, he'll be old enough to either be away at uni or have his own place).
3. How many rooms are in your house?
Well - 1 bedroom, but there are also a lounge-ish thingy, a kitchen and bathroom. My son gets the back of the lounge behind the couches as his room.
4. Is there enough room in your house to comfortably accommodate overnight guests?
Not really, but my parents stay over when out from Australia. They get my room, I get the couch.
5. How close do your neighbors live? Do you know them well and are they welcome in your home?
TOO close. The walls and ceilings are solid cement. You can hear the neighbours walking, dropping things, scraping chairs - even going to the loo! You get to sit in on arguments and their favourite (in one case "only") CD. They get to watch you in the garden from above, and see you tanning in your bikini or having coffee in your pyjamas on the verandah. After 7 years of this, I'm ready to live where I can't even SEE the neighbours, never mind hear them.
I know them reasonably well, but have never had them over. We tend to live in each other's pockets and talk over the fence - that's as far as it goes. I don't have much in common with any of them.
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