Blog Lite
Am in the process of coming down with something that may, or may not, be the current very-contagious "Asian Flu" that's attacking everyone in sight. Started with a major headache yesterday and has gone downhill from there. I might have to leave off working and blogging for a while, and just go home to recover... So pardon me if you came here looking for something deep, or the usual drivel. Ain't gonna happen until my brain is functioning normally. I've blogged before when under the influence of something nasty - and regretted it sincerely later.
Of Freedom
I noticed something strange this weekend.
I had lunch with two old friends, one out visiting from Australia. They got into a discussion over letting their daughters pierce their ears - a traditional "no" for the denomination (do not adorn yourself etc., you know). One of the ladies, a teacher, was informed that she is not allowed to wear her earrings, a stud, sleeper or anything like that to school, "so don't even bother piercing your ears". I got told something similar for wearing a necklace (with a cross) once. Not done, we have an "image to maintain".
Funny enough though, the pastor-father-in-law of the Australian lady had a very different tune after a solid week of Bible research - that it's OK to go ahead and pierce your ears, but don't go make it a god! So the daughters had their ears pierced. But the South Afrian family is still stuck with the "no"...
A year or two ago, and I'd have been in the thick of the argument. This year I didn't say a word. I sat listening in amazement at how Christians can nit-pick over such a tiny little issue (to me).
I couldn't believe the freedom I feel inside, freedom from having to verbally and mentally dissect things that may have nothing to do with me being a Christian. Sure, I respect the rights of those I work for, so I don't wear my necklace for their sakes, but it's no longer an issue for me. And much of the legalistic stuff has gone the same way!
These days my Sabbath (seen as a legalistic obligation by many who have not experienced its blessings) is a weekly choice, not a rule. My lifestyle is what I think Jesus would want me to do as I live out how He's changing me - it's not a bunch of regulations to adhere to for the sake of appearing good or conforming to the crowd. I'm not worried (overly) by what people think (unless what I do/say is going to be detrimental to their Christian experience), but rest in knowing it's what God thinks that counts.
Come to think of it, I'm resting in a whole lot of God-aspects lately.
They may question the way I'm bringing up my son because it seems so different from the carefully-regulated way others bring up theirs. (I've been condemned to eternal damnation over things like Pokemon, Lord of the Rings, and daring to stop by another denomination - and enjoy it!...) Yet now we find a pleasure in our God-time / home-church that he never had in his weekly appearance at the local congregation. He sees God in everyday life and is learning to make that all-important eternal Connection for himself.
While listening to my friends conversation this weekend, I longed for them to experience the inner freedom I feel - freedom from a downward-spiraling trap of "keep this rule or you're not good enough" - freedom from bowing to men's wishes over God's or making the Rules such an obsession that you lose sight of what's really important.
My heart aches for them. I wish I could give them a glimpse of what I've found. But it would be like exposing them to blinding sunlight after growing up in twilight - their eyes would not be able to stand it, their minds would not comprehend it. Where I'm at now is the result of a journey that has spanned years, a culmination of many decisions and turns, leading me to what's right for me, now. It's not where they're at and I can't drag them through the shortcut here.
All I can do is share morsels of what I've found, slowly expose them to what I'm learning, and then leave it up to God to bring them to where He wants them (which may be nowhere near where I'd like to see them, actually! For all I know they could be there already and I'm just imagining things.). Freedom in Him that's right for them, where they are, right at that moment in time.
I had lunch with two old friends, one out visiting from Australia. They got into a discussion over letting their daughters pierce their ears - a traditional "no" for the denomination (do not adorn yourself etc., you know). One of the ladies, a teacher, was informed that she is not allowed to wear her earrings, a stud, sleeper or anything like that to school, "so don't even bother piercing your ears". I got told something similar for wearing a necklace (with a cross) once. Not done, we have an "image to maintain".
Funny enough though, the pastor-father-in-law of the Australian lady had a very different tune after a solid week of Bible research - that it's OK to go ahead and pierce your ears, but don't go make it a god! So the daughters had their ears pierced. But the South Afrian family is still stuck with the "no"...
A year or two ago, and I'd have been in the thick of the argument. This year I didn't say a word. I sat listening in amazement at how Christians can nit-pick over such a tiny little issue (to me).
I couldn't believe the freedom I feel inside, freedom from having to verbally and mentally dissect things that may have nothing to do with me being a Christian. Sure, I respect the rights of those I work for, so I don't wear my necklace for their sakes, but it's no longer an issue for me. And much of the legalistic stuff has gone the same way!
These days my Sabbath (seen as a legalistic obligation by many who have not experienced its blessings) is a weekly choice, not a rule. My lifestyle is what I think Jesus would want me to do as I live out how He's changing me - it's not a bunch of regulations to adhere to for the sake of appearing good or conforming to the crowd. I'm not worried (overly) by what people think (unless what I do/say is going to be detrimental to their Christian experience), but rest in knowing it's what God thinks that counts.
Come to think of it, I'm resting in a whole lot of God-aspects lately.
They may question the way I'm bringing up my son because it seems so different from the carefully-regulated way others bring up theirs. (I've been condemned to eternal damnation over things like Pokemon, Lord of the Rings, and daring to stop by another denomination - and enjoy it!...) Yet now we find a pleasure in our God-time / home-church that he never had in his weekly appearance at the local congregation. He sees God in everyday life and is learning to make that all-important eternal Connection for himself.
While listening to my friends conversation this weekend, I longed for them to experience the inner freedom I feel - freedom from a downward-spiraling trap of "keep this rule or you're not good enough" - freedom from bowing to men's wishes over God's or making the Rules such an obsession that you lose sight of what's really important.
My heart aches for them. I wish I could give them a glimpse of what I've found. But it would be like exposing them to blinding sunlight after growing up in twilight - their eyes would not be able to stand it, their minds would not comprehend it. Where I'm at now is the result of a journey that has spanned years, a culmination of many decisions and turns, leading me to what's right for me, now. It's not where they're at and I can't drag them through the shortcut here.
All I can do is share morsels of what I've found, slowly expose them to what I'm learning, and then leave it up to God to bring them to where He wants them (which may be nowhere near where I'd like to see them, actually! For all I know they could be there already and I'm just imagining things.). Freedom in Him that's right for them, where they are, right at that moment in time.
Just Nothing
Last night was my last tour of duty as worship team pianist. Strange feeling, after being at it almost constantly for 2 years at this church, and another 3 at the previous church.
I loved the group I got to play with last night - an enthusiastic bunch of youth for God, who let their love of Him spill over into absolutely everything they do, who play and sing with abandon, and pray "shot, God, for an awesome day - it rocked!". I love the raw spirituality of the guy who led, admitting that he feels far from God, but hungering enough to run after Him with all he has, in every way he can think of.
I had a background role in the music. It was guitar-driven, vibey, worshipful - all I did was fill in the blanks. No "going out with a bang" emphasis on me and my piano skills - which I would have hated anyway.
I'm a bit sad to leave - I loved playing with the band. But I know too that it's necessary at this point in my journey. A part of me wants back in, but a bigger part wants out.
I feel such a need to get out of the church routine. To stop letting the church take responsibility for my worship, my connection to God, my connection to others. It's a safe, comfortable, familiar place, but it's no longer enough. I have to learn how to worship for myself, make that God-connection and others-connection without relying on the system.
But it's not at all easy! (which is why we often just want to stay put).
Last night I felt again that emptiness - the lack of connection to God that has been going on for months now at church (and outside church). And I wondered if I truly can learn to take responsibility for my own walk with God, or if it's better to be spoon fed for a while longer. I know the answer to that one - I have to learn - but I honestly don't know how it's going to happen.
I prayed last night for one last meaningful connection during the worship time, the kind that will tear my heart and open it to His presence. Didn't happen. Still just empty and apathetic inside.
And in bed last night I wondered - now what? The future seems so blank. I know what I'd like, where I'd like this journey to go next, but it's across a chasm, there's no bridge from here to there, and I've always been afraid to just jump. Still I'm empty and waiting.
I try, I plan and read and pray and try some more. But the passion is dead and my heart is cold. Stale-mate. A spark of a glimpse of glory now and then, but it's soon gone.
All I can do now is wait.
-----
(and then I saw this on OurDailyBlog)
Psalm 31:24 - Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!
I loved the group I got to play with last night - an enthusiastic bunch of youth for God, who let their love of Him spill over into absolutely everything they do, who play and sing with abandon, and pray "shot, God, for an awesome day - it rocked!". I love the raw spirituality of the guy who led, admitting that he feels far from God, but hungering enough to run after Him with all he has, in every way he can think of.
I had a background role in the music. It was guitar-driven, vibey, worshipful - all I did was fill in the blanks. No "going out with a bang" emphasis on me and my piano skills - which I would have hated anyway.
I'm a bit sad to leave - I loved playing with the band. But I know too that it's necessary at this point in my journey. A part of me wants back in, but a bigger part wants out.
I feel such a need to get out of the church routine. To stop letting the church take responsibility for my worship, my connection to God, my connection to others. It's a safe, comfortable, familiar place, but it's no longer enough. I have to learn how to worship for myself, make that God-connection and others-connection without relying on the system.
But it's not at all easy! (which is why we often just want to stay put).
Last night I felt again that emptiness - the lack of connection to God that has been going on for months now at church (and outside church). And I wondered if I truly can learn to take responsibility for my own walk with God, or if it's better to be spoon fed for a while longer. I know the answer to that one - I have to learn - but I honestly don't know how it's going to happen.
I prayed last night for one last meaningful connection during the worship time, the kind that will tear my heart and open it to His presence. Didn't happen. Still just empty and apathetic inside.
And in bed last night I wondered - now what? The future seems so blank. I know what I'd like, where I'd like this journey to go next, but it's across a chasm, there's no bridge from here to there, and I've always been afraid to just jump. Still I'm empty and waiting.
I try, I plan and read and pray and try some more. But the passion is dead and my heart is cold. Stale-mate. A spark of a glimpse of glory now and then, but it's soon gone.
All I can do now is wait.
-----
(and then I saw this on OurDailyBlog)
Psalm 31:24 - Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!
Snippets
A few things from this past weekend:
* My son and I had our eyes tested on Friday. It's time for me to replace my contact lenses, and it was recommended that my son get tested to see if eye trouble has anything to do with his learning "problems" at school. Well, his eyes are perfectly fine - except for something that startled the optomitrist: his pupils are different sizes! The right one is a little bigger than the left, but both respond normally. He says he's going to go read up on that one... I think it's from spending his life watching TV lying down! :) ::update:: Optomitrist just called. Seems the uneven pupil thing may be an indication of a deeper problem, and I need to have it checked out by a specialist asap. He's suggested one and will write a letter for me to take to him. I'm finally going to be using up all that cash I contribute to my medical aid monthly it seems.... *sigh*
* It's too cold to sleep properly (no, we don't have central heating in this country...). I'm looking forward to summer, when it will be too hot to sleep properly.
* My digital camera has died. 3 months - that's all it lasted. I'm tempted to take it apart and see what's wrong (probably will), but I think the fall during our Terrorist Evangelism put the nail in the coffin. Sad, but true. Next on my list? A bigger, better, but unfortunately more expensive one. One day...
* Talking of photos - I hauled out a huge box of my old photos on Friday night and looked at all of them. Some major memories - both good and bad. My son got to see the weird and wacky side of his dad with the few I have of him (he's still not interested in meeting him, and if he were it would be difficult - the guy immigrated to the USA a few years back and is apparently now married). There's a couple of pics I plan to send on to my brothers - supreme cringe material.
* My artistic abilities are either WAY out of practice or no longer exist. I tried, and the results were not worth showing to anyone. I still do better in pencil than any other medium, but probably should do some nice, abstract painting - something that no-one has to relate to anything living or dead, and can draw their own conclusions from.
* I put my son in charge of our God-time this Sabbath. He did pretty well! But he also needs "church detoxing" as much as I do - a chance to think outside the box and learn new ways to relate to God. Anyway, we'll be taking turns from now on, and he's on every 2nd week to plan what we'll do. (Maybe one day I'll also get him to take a turn at dishes, or vacuuming, or ANYTHING else...)
* My son and I had our eyes tested on Friday. It's time for me to replace my contact lenses, and it was recommended that my son get tested to see if eye trouble has anything to do with his learning "problems" at school. Well, his eyes are perfectly fine - except for something that startled the optomitrist: his pupils are different sizes! The right one is a little bigger than the left, but both respond normally. He says he's going to go read up on that one... I think it's from spending his life watching TV lying down! :) ::update:: Optomitrist just called. Seems the uneven pupil thing may be an indication of a deeper problem, and I need to have it checked out by a specialist asap. He's suggested one and will write a letter for me to take to him. I'm finally going to be using up all that cash I contribute to my medical aid monthly it seems.... *sigh*
* It's too cold to sleep properly (no, we don't have central heating in this country...). I'm looking forward to summer, when it will be too hot to sleep properly.
* My digital camera has died. 3 months - that's all it lasted. I'm tempted to take it apart and see what's wrong (probably will), but I think the fall during our Terrorist Evangelism put the nail in the coffin. Sad, but true. Next on my list? A bigger, better, but unfortunately more expensive one. One day...
* Talking of photos - I hauled out a huge box of my old photos on Friday night and looked at all of them. Some major memories - both good and bad. My son got to see the weird and wacky side of his dad with the few I have of him (he's still not interested in meeting him, and if he were it would be difficult - the guy immigrated to the USA a few years back and is apparently now married). There's a couple of pics I plan to send on to my brothers - supreme cringe material.
* My artistic abilities are either WAY out of practice or no longer exist. I tried, and the results were not worth showing to anyone. I still do better in pencil than any other medium, but probably should do some nice, abstract painting - something that no-one has to relate to anything living or dead, and can draw their own conclusions from.
* I put my son in charge of our God-time this Sabbath. He did pretty well! But he also needs "church detoxing" as much as I do - a chance to think outside the box and learn new ways to relate to God. Anyway, we'll be taking turns from now on, and he's on every 2nd week to plan what we'll do. (Maybe one day I'll also get him to take a turn at dishes, or vacuuming, or ANYTHING else...)
Shabbat Shalom
Lead me from death to life,
from falsehood to truth.
Lead me from despair to hope,
from fear to trust.
Lead me from hate to love,
from war to peace.
Let peace fill our hearts,
our world, our universe,
Peace, Peace, Peace
-Mother Theresa
Career Choices
My son has decided that he wants to design and make jewellery. He loves gemstones - we've got a nice collection of semi-precious ones, mostly from our Zimbabwe days where we could literally pick them up off the ground in some places. We always have to stop at the jeweller's shops when walking the mall, to admire cuts and colours and composition on various (way too expensive) items. He's arty, and would do a great job of design I think!
Previously he wanted to be a paleontologist. Go dig for dino bones. I think seeing Jurassic Park as his first movie at 6 months of age might have had something to do with it, but no-one's done a psyc study on that yet.
Then he saw "The Mummy" and decided archeology and paleontology would fit together nicely. Dig up bones AND treasure! Coool...
He's also a computer whizz and thought designing games might be something to try. He's done mini-movies using only powerpoint (taught himself) and photodraw (taught himself) and creates things I have no idea how to do.
A year from now he might think of something else he enjoys, and go all out planning a future with that.
So which one will he choose?
Well, I've told him he doesn't need to choose only one! Heck, I've had 2 dramatically different careers already and am contemplating a good few more before I kick the bucket!
So if he wants to do one thing and go off to do another, fine with me. If we can get his training via apprenticeship or learn-as-you-go instead of expensive tertiary education, all the better. And if he can do what he loves for a living, or whatever strikes his fancy at that particular stage in his life - ideal!
Why stick to one thing forever?
Previously he wanted to be a paleontologist. Go dig for dino bones. I think seeing Jurassic Park as his first movie at 6 months of age might have had something to do with it, but no-one's done a psyc study on that yet.
Then he saw "The Mummy" and decided archeology and paleontology would fit together nicely. Dig up bones AND treasure! Coool...
He's also a computer whizz and thought designing games might be something to try. He's done mini-movies using only powerpoint (taught himself) and photodraw (taught himself) and creates things I have no idea how to do.
A year from now he might think of something else he enjoys, and go all out planning a future with that.
So which one will he choose?
Well, I've told him he doesn't need to choose only one! Heck, I've had 2 dramatically different careers already and am contemplating a good few more before I kick the bucket!
So if he wants to do one thing and go off to do another, fine with me. If we can get his training via apprenticeship or learn-as-you-go instead of expensive tertiary education, all the better. And if he can do what he loves for a living, or whatever strikes his fancy at that particular stage in his life - ideal!
Why stick to one thing forever?
Learning Curve: VJing
In my quest to learn more about VJing and creative image stuff, yesterday I downloaded a free trial version of arkaos, a very, very cool programme that lets you do all sorts of things to images, add music, detect a beat, insert live video feed, flash files or pre-recorded stuff - you name it!
Now I'm having a ball just fiddling around and discovering how it works (which is basically how I've learnt everything I know about computers and most other things in life). Wish I could create something for Sunday's service (my last worship team duty!), but they'd definitely, definitely chuck me straight out the nearest door if I tried it. PowerPoint seems to be the creative limit...
Last time I was on duty, the (new) worship leader wanted to have pens and paper available for prayer time, so people could do something other than just stand there and sing/pray. It didn't happen. Not approved by worship pastor. I never found out why.
So church VJing is SO out of the question for this group! :) But it's cool to mess around with anyway. And it's giving me something new to do today. As they say, a change is as good as a holiday - considering my next holiday is in September, I'll have to make do with the change for now.
A letter to my son
Dear Jason
My heart is feeling all jittery and scared today, a bad case of the nerves. Last night you were almost in tears and when I asked what was wrong you said you "have a bad life". I tried to dig to the bottom of it, asking if it was because you don't have a dad around (no), or if it's because you have to put up with just me (no). All I could get out of you was that it was "that son thing". You needed a lot of hugs and kisses, cuddling and just being - yet at the same time you chose to do the one thing you know really irritates me (a disinterested "uh-huuuh" in response to everything I say, seemingly the latest fad in your communication), testing me again to see where the boundaries lie. I don't know. Perhaps you really aren't interested.
I know I'm not the best mom in the world. I'm often distracted and busy, trying to keep us alive and getting through each day. I need my own space a lot of the time, just to recuperate from living my full-time working and full-time attempting-both-parenting roles. I mostly play this parenting thing by ear, and I often don't get it right.
I know you're growing up, very fast, and that means I won't always know what you're thinking. I know you've confided "things you can't know" to the psychologist who did your learning-skills testing recently. Although I desperatly want to know how your brain works, what's REALLY going on inside, I also am determined to protect your privacy and allow you to have thoughts you don't tell me.
But when I hear it's a "son thing" that's bothering you, that scares me. What does that mean? Was it something I did or didn't do? Can I change something to make things better for you? Please, please tell me!
There are days that I think you would have been better off if I'd given you up to a two-parent home - but my heart would have died if I did, and so would your's, if you only knew it. We were made to belong together, and we're stuck with each other - through thick and thin.
So all I ask is that you tell me what's going on, especially if there's a way I can be a better mom. If you're hurting, let me comfort you. If you're sad, tell me why. If you need more of me, show me how to be there for you. Don't shut me out - not yet. Not before you're truly strong enough to stand on your own.
Love (forever - you ARE my heart!)
Your Mom
My heart is feeling all jittery and scared today, a bad case of the nerves. Last night you were almost in tears and when I asked what was wrong you said you "have a bad life". I tried to dig to the bottom of it, asking if it was because you don't have a dad around (no), or if it's because you have to put up with just me (no). All I could get out of you was that it was "that son thing". You needed a lot of hugs and kisses, cuddling and just being - yet at the same time you chose to do the one thing you know really irritates me (a disinterested "uh-huuuh" in response to everything I say, seemingly the latest fad in your communication), testing me again to see where the boundaries lie. I don't know. Perhaps you really aren't interested.
I know I'm not the best mom in the world. I'm often distracted and busy, trying to keep us alive and getting through each day. I need my own space a lot of the time, just to recuperate from living my full-time working and full-time attempting-both-parenting roles. I mostly play this parenting thing by ear, and I often don't get it right.
I know you're growing up, very fast, and that means I won't always know what you're thinking. I know you've confided "things you can't know" to the psychologist who did your learning-skills testing recently. Although I desperatly want to know how your brain works, what's REALLY going on inside, I also am determined to protect your privacy and allow you to have thoughts you don't tell me.
But when I hear it's a "son thing" that's bothering you, that scares me. What does that mean? Was it something I did or didn't do? Can I change something to make things better for you? Please, please tell me!
There are days that I think you would have been better off if I'd given you up to a two-parent home - but my heart would have died if I did, and so would your's, if you only knew it. We were made to belong together, and we're stuck with each other - through thick and thin.
So all I ask is that you tell me what's going on, especially if there's a way I can be a better mom. If you're hurting, let me comfort you. If you're sad, tell me why. If you need more of me, show me how to be there for you. Don't shut me out - not yet. Not before you're truly strong enough to stand on your own.
Love (forever - you ARE my heart!)
Your Mom
Squandering Creativity
I spent a good deal of time (probabaly way too much) yesterday browsing through creative, arty blogs and following some links they listed to sites of photography, art, word-pictures, jewellery, and their equally-arty friends online. Also got into some very, very cool VJing sites.
And I've come to the conclusion that I'm squandering my creativity. I've also realized I don't have to have "perfect" art every time I pick up a pen, piece of charcoal, batch of ingredients or haul out the sewing machine. I just have to be me, unique and expressive of all that is inside just waiting to bust out.
I last wrote creatively (short stories, poems etc.) in high school. That was about the time I did my last artwork too. I've done more in the kitchen than on the sewing machine and most of my "creative" stuff is daydreams.
So, it's off to pick up a package of clay, a ready-mounted canvas, a sketch book, a few loose and large sheets of beautifully grained paper and an array of acrylics and pencils this weekend. I'm downloading a trial verson of arkaos to try some creative imaging too, just for the heck of it.
Less vegging by the TV, less "just sitting" - more letting my hands and heart tell my story.
Who knows - with a lot of practice and a bit of luck, maybe one day I might even get to do it full time!
(Looking at the pictures above while scanning them, and at other work in my file, I can't believe I actually drew them! Not that they're the best in the world, but I seem to have lost the touch over the years and it's going to take some serious work to get back into it!)
And I've come to the conclusion that I'm squandering my creativity. I've also realized I don't have to have "perfect" art every time I pick up a pen, piece of charcoal, batch of ingredients or haul out the sewing machine. I just have to be me, unique and expressive of all that is inside just waiting to bust out.
I last wrote creatively (short stories, poems etc.) in high school. That was about the time I did my last artwork too. I've done more in the kitchen than on the sewing machine and most of my "creative" stuff is daydreams.
So, it's off to pick up a package of clay, a ready-mounted canvas, a sketch book, a few loose and large sheets of beautifully grained paper and an array of acrylics and pencils this weekend. I'm downloading a trial verson of arkaos to try some creative imaging too, just for the heck of it.
Less vegging by the TV, less "just sitting" - more letting my hands and heart tell my story.
Who knows - with a lot of practice and a bit of luck, maybe one day I might even get to do it full time!
(Looking at the pictures above while scanning them, and at other work in my file, I can't believe I actually drew them! Not that they're the best in the world, but I seem to have lost the touch over the years and it's going to take some serious work to get back into it!)
Doing life
There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money & it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other's cooking & say it was good.
-Brian Andreas
-Brian Andreas
The Great Sitting
Ever wanted to cycle from San Francisco to Maine? No? Well Jeff and Mike are doing just that! Go check out their blogs - they're somewhere in the desert right now, hauling heavy gallons of water through salty nothingness over roads coated in super-sized crickets...
Their joint site is here.
Found via wish jar journal (Keri) - girlfriend (I think) to Jeff, and an illustrator/author living in her own cottage doing fun, creative stuff for a living...no fair!
Their joint site is here.
Found via wish jar journal (Keri) - girlfriend (I think) to Jeff, and an illustrator/author living in her own cottage doing fun, creative stuff for a living...no fair!
Different paths, same destination
You learn a lot when you actually communicate with your parents, you know.
Last week I got MSN-chatting with mom in Australia and we got onto the church/religion/journey subject, as usual. But this time she mentioned some of the battles my pastor-dad and his church are having with the denominational authorities and other churches, because they've adopted a "change or die" attitude. They recognize their need for cultural significance, for meaning, for changing what was to what can be. It's a weekly struggle for the pastoral team, to determine what to do next, what to chuck out, what to keep, what to introduce and why.
And they're getting flak for it. The authorities are not supportive, other church members are downright condemning. They battle against the easy stream of church tradition and denominational norms. (I can only imagine how much more flak they'd get if they were doing it here in South Africa instead of "liberal" Australia!) But they are not prepared to give in to pressure. They call it "re-churching" and it's working. Their group is growing so fast that they'll be planting another soon. Folk are streaming in to be in God's presence. The church is also a community center, open 7 days a week. The space they worship in is the space they party in, play in, be together in.
---
I'm on a different track. I'm stepping back/out from the traditional way of doing church to find a new way of being. I'm trying to detox from institutional Christiandom to find what God wants me to be as His child. Stepping back from letting the church take responsibility for our relationship to God, and taking up the reigns myself.
I mentioned to my mom that I would love to gather other folk to journey with. To open my home for meals, being together and discovering this road God wants each of us to follow. (Amazingly, she thought that a good idea, in spite of the fact that it's going to operate well "outside" a church) It's something my soul longs for.
But I'm in the waiting room, learning more about God, and living, and waiting for that next step. I have ideas of who could benefit from being involved, but have decided to let God bring them to me instead of persuing them (though that may be a bit of a responsibility cop-out actually). I'm learning what God in my family looks like, how we can relate to Him individually. I guess it's the learning curve before handing over the keys to a new way of living.
And yes, I'm getting flak from the herd for it. Folk who try make me feel guilty or bleat in my direction because I'm up enjoying a bit of greener grass while they're munching the same old trampled paddock. I've gotten over being oppressed/depressed by it though and will carry on in what I feel God wants from me.
----
As different as the things my parents and I are doing, we're all headed in the same direction. Living out our faith and helping others do so too. Whether within a safe church building, or out there in the exposed open, we're using what God has given us - creativity, willingness to try and experiment and change - and just DOING IT.
Last week I got MSN-chatting with mom in Australia and we got onto the church/religion/journey subject, as usual. But this time she mentioned some of the battles my pastor-dad and his church are having with the denominational authorities and other churches, because they've adopted a "change or die" attitude. They recognize their need for cultural significance, for meaning, for changing what was to what can be. It's a weekly struggle for the pastoral team, to determine what to do next, what to chuck out, what to keep, what to introduce and why.
And they're getting flak for it. The authorities are not supportive, other church members are downright condemning. They battle against the easy stream of church tradition and denominational norms. (I can only imagine how much more flak they'd get if they were doing it here in South Africa instead of "liberal" Australia!) But they are not prepared to give in to pressure. They call it "re-churching" and it's working. Their group is growing so fast that they'll be planting another soon. Folk are streaming in to be in God's presence. The church is also a community center, open 7 days a week. The space they worship in is the space they party in, play in, be together in.
---
I'm on a different track. I'm stepping back/out from the traditional way of doing church to find a new way of being. I'm trying to detox from institutional Christiandom to find what God wants me to be as His child. Stepping back from letting the church take responsibility for our relationship to God, and taking up the reigns myself.
I mentioned to my mom that I would love to gather other folk to journey with. To open my home for meals, being together and discovering this road God wants each of us to follow. (Amazingly, she thought that a good idea, in spite of the fact that it's going to operate well "outside" a church) It's something my soul longs for.
But I'm in the waiting room, learning more about God, and living, and waiting for that next step. I have ideas of who could benefit from being involved, but have decided to let God bring them to me instead of persuing them (though that may be a bit of a responsibility cop-out actually). I'm learning what God in my family looks like, how we can relate to Him individually. I guess it's the learning curve before handing over the keys to a new way of living.
And yes, I'm getting flak from the herd for it. Folk who try make me feel guilty or bleat in my direction because I'm up enjoying a bit of greener grass while they're munching the same old trampled paddock. I've gotten over being oppressed/depressed by it though and will carry on in what I feel God wants from me.
----
As different as the things my parents and I are doing, we're all headed in the same direction. Living out our faith and helping others do so too. Whether within a safe church building, or out there in the exposed open, we're using what God has given us - creativity, willingness to try and experiment and change - and just DOING IT.
Kingdom Doors
The kingdom of God has many points of entry, but they are not always in the places we expect.
So we need to be alert and ready to enter any time, any place we may be called.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'push'.
We will not give up if it doesn't open easily.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'changing room'.
We will not attempt spiritual exercise in clothes that restrict our movements.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'fire escape'.
We will not go back into smoke-filled rooms to rescue our possessions.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'late night opening and all day sundays'.
We will not restrict the times and places of access to God.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'silence - recording in progress'.
We will not miss our part in God's symphony.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'bar staff only'.
We will not ignore people who are thirsty.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'honeymoon suite'.
We will not keep any part of ourselves from God's love.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'to the cells'.
We will not plea-bargain to escape responsibility for our crimes.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'lost property'.
We will not get rid of people who have not yet been claimed by their rightful owner.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'guest list'.
We will not have forgotten to have our friends' names put on it too.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'exit'.
We will not continue shopping while the manager puts the lights out.
We will go through these doors in the power of the Spirit,
knowing that Jesus has gone through them all first.
- from smallritual
So we need to be alert and ready to enter any time, any place we may be called.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'push'.
We will not give up if it doesn't open easily.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'changing room'.
We will not attempt spiritual exercise in clothes that restrict our movements.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'fire escape'.
We will not go back into smoke-filled rooms to rescue our possessions.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'late night opening and all day sundays'.
We will not restrict the times and places of access to God.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'silence - recording in progress'.
We will not miss our part in God's symphony.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'bar staff only'.
We will not ignore people who are thirsty.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'honeymoon suite'.
We will not keep any part of ourselves from God's love.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'to the cells'.
We will not plea-bargain to escape responsibility for our crimes.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'lost property'.
We will not get rid of people who have not yet been claimed by their rightful owner.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'guest list'.
We will not have forgotten to have our friends' names put on it too.
We will enter the kingdom through the door marked 'exit'.
We will not continue shopping while the manager puts the lights out.
We will go through these doors in the power of the Spirit,
knowing that Jesus has gone through them all first.
- from smallritual
Uncertainty
My friend and colleague is crying. I can hear her on the phone through the thin office walls, talking and sobbing and gesturing her hurt with her voice.
And I don't know what to do about it. I don't know that I have the right to go to her, let her know I can hear what's going on and that I know she's in pain.
She recently lost a father and a grandmother to death. She is contemplating marrying a guy from the other side of the world, who she doesn't really know. It could be anything to do with these, it could be totally unrelated.
So I hesitate..
...until it's too late. She leaves quickly, locks her office in one motion and is gone. And I've done nothing.
And I don't know what to do about it. I don't know that I have the right to go to her, let her know I can hear what's going on and that I know she's in pain.
She recently lost a father and a grandmother to death. She is contemplating marrying a guy from the other side of the world, who she doesn't really know. It could be anything to do with these, it could be totally unrelated.
So I hesitate..
...until it's too late. She leaves quickly, locks her office in one motion and is gone. And I've done nothing.
Over-Shoulder-Boulder-Holders and God
On weekends, when you're unlikely to run into anyone, or at least anyone important, there is a temptation to leave out the over-shoulder-boulder-holder from one's daily attire. A certain sense of freedom is experienced by this practice, and could well develop into a habit, should society allow it.
But if this is continued indefinitely, over time a certain amount of wear & tear may ensue. Too much freedom can lead to certain unsightly characteristics, seperation from supporting tissues, even an amount of pain.
And you know, as unrelated as this may seem, it has to do with God.
Stepping back or getting out of institutional religion is quite an experience. Having one's eyes opened to the freedom available outside of church walls and denominational expectations can be mind-blowing. And one can take advantage of that to the extreme, throwing caution to the wind and running unfettered through the endless vistas now available.
Instead of staying connected to the Body, there is a temptation to distance oneself completely, to say "I don't need you no more!", to revel indulgently in being free and going it alone. There may be an urge to throw everything to do with God out and just live the way we think we should, without restraint, without discipline (after all, I'm not a murderer or anything, so I must be OK).
And yet, one cannot grow closer to God and live effectively for Him without setting some boundaries, without restraining sinful human nature by resting supported on His shoulders, or without considering those around you.
Once you realize this and rejoice in the good-for-you boundaries God has set, you will be a firmer, perkier and altogether nicer Christ-follower to be around. He has a size that fits you perfectly, that He is just longing for you to fill to overflowing.
But if this is continued indefinitely, over time a certain amount of wear & tear may ensue. Too much freedom can lead to certain unsightly characteristics, seperation from supporting tissues, even an amount of pain.
And you know, as unrelated as this may seem, it has to do with God.
Stepping back or getting out of institutional religion is quite an experience. Having one's eyes opened to the freedom available outside of church walls and denominational expectations can be mind-blowing. And one can take advantage of that to the extreme, throwing caution to the wind and running unfettered through the endless vistas now available.
Instead of staying connected to the Body, there is a temptation to distance oneself completely, to say "I don't need you no more!", to revel indulgently in being free and going it alone. There may be an urge to throw everything to do with God out and just live the way we think we should, without restraint, without discipline (after all, I'm not a murderer or anything, so I must be OK).
And yet, one cannot grow closer to God and live effectively for Him without setting some boundaries, without restraining sinful human nature by resting supported on His shoulders, or without considering those around you.
Once you realize this and rejoice in the good-for-you boundaries God has set, you will be a firmer, perkier and altogether nicer Christ-follower to be around. He has a size that fits you perfectly, that He is just longing for you to fill to overflowing.
Shrink Rap
Every two months I get to step on a scale and see what my weight's up to (regular clinic visit). Lately my clothes have been feeling a little smaller than usual, so I wasn't suprised to see I'd picked up 2 kilos. Or so...
But I'm now nearing a point where it's uncomfortable to be cuddly. In spite of the indoor winter joys of heaters and comfort foods, something needs to be done. Not just so I'll look decent in a swimsuit come summer either!
So what to do? Well:
* Food - stop saying "eat now, for tomorrow you die" - and quit the "there's no guarantee there's chocolate in heaven, so indulge while you still have time" thing. Eat the fruit & veg in the fridge before it goes off. The offspring needs this too! Resolve to make the weekly Spur (restaurant) visit back into the payday Spur visit. You KNOW you want to eat your money's worth there....
* Water - one 480ml bottle per hour after 10 each morning (once breakfast has settled) and for the remainder of the working day.
* Other drinkables - cut the full-cream-milk-only evening coffee to half-milk-half-water, or change to rooibos tea (yuk?). Cut down on the amount of creamer in morning coffee. Drink more green tea and less coffee, especially mid-morning.
* Exercise (other than running hourly to the loo to rid one's body of the 480ml water drunk in the previous hour) - evening stroll with 1 very overweight and 2 active dogs instead of plonking down in front of Oprah. The dog needs it as much as I do, as a back leg seems to be giving in from excess weight already. Once the cartiledge inflammation in the chest clears up and I don't feel like I'm having a mini-heart-attack every few minutes, haul out those expensive Tae-Bo tapes and quit finding meaningless excuses not to sweat like a pig. Do some stretching instead of vegging while watching the local soapie.
* Work - take regular breaks to stand up, stretch, or walk the herb garden outside. At least twice in the morning and once in the afternoon. Breathe deeply and change position at the desk now and then.
* Fun - make family fun more about being outside and doing active things and less about videos and inside stuff. Make personal fun more about walks on the beach and less about chocolate cake with coffee at Mug & Beann.
* Mind-control - think thin. It works. Quit dreaming about the ex-crush of 15 years ago who made a hurtful comment on your weight and continues to subconciously determine your body image. Dream healthy, lighter, brighter. Daydream it too.
And that's my list of impossibles for now. So far so good on the water story, working on the rest.
But I'm now nearing a point where it's uncomfortable to be cuddly. In spite of the indoor winter joys of heaters and comfort foods, something needs to be done. Not just so I'll look decent in a swimsuit come summer either!
So what to do? Well:
* Food - stop saying "eat now, for tomorrow you die" - and quit the "there's no guarantee there's chocolate in heaven, so indulge while you still have time" thing. Eat the fruit & veg in the fridge before it goes off. The offspring needs this too! Resolve to make the weekly Spur (restaurant) visit back into the payday Spur visit. You KNOW you want to eat your money's worth there....
* Water - one 480ml bottle per hour after 10 each morning (once breakfast has settled) and for the remainder of the working day.
* Other drinkables - cut the full-cream-milk-only evening coffee to half-milk-half-water, or change to rooibos tea (yuk?). Cut down on the amount of creamer in morning coffee. Drink more green tea and less coffee, especially mid-morning.
* Exercise (other than running hourly to the loo to rid one's body of the 480ml water drunk in the previous hour) - evening stroll with 1 very overweight and 2 active dogs instead of plonking down in front of Oprah. The dog needs it as much as I do, as a back leg seems to be giving in from excess weight already. Once the cartiledge inflammation in the chest clears up and I don't feel like I'm having a mini-heart-attack every few minutes, haul out those expensive Tae-Bo tapes and quit finding meaningless excuses not to sweat like a pig. Do some stretching instead of vegging while watching the local soapie.
* Work - take regular breaks to stand up, stretch, or walk the herb garden outside. At least twice in the morning and once in the afternoon. Breathe deeply and change position at the desk now and then.
* Fun - make family fun more about being outside and doing active things and less about videos and inside stuff. Make personal fun more about walks on the beach and less about chocolate cake with coffee at Mug & Beann.
* Mind-control - think thin. It works. Quit dreaming about the ex-crush of 15 years ago who made a hurtful comment on your weight and continues to subconciously determine your body image. Dream healthy, lighter, brighter. Daydream it too.
And that's my list of impossibles for now. So far so good on the water story, working on the rest.
Winter-cleaning
I winter-cleaned yesterday.
Sorting meticulously through the garden on a crisp-bright day, filling two large bags of past-prime tomato plants, half-rotted stems weighted down by new growth above. The roses were trimmed, the falling-inward daisy bush cut to nudity.
The garden is winter-bare now. Disused vegetable patches awaiting summer sun have been sprinkled with lentils and soy beans to grow a green manure cover crop and add nutrients for summer's new tomato crop. Parts of lawn that yet retain their dew on the hottest winter days are resting from brutal trims.
All the old vegetation is on the "compost" heap (a nice term for the pile of anything I weed out, throw out or clear out, which currently houses a family of stripey field mice).
I guess it's de-cluttering in a way. Clearing out the old so that the ground can rest and renew.
To me that's what winter's all about, what God intended this down-time to be. A resting before the busyness of Spring and Summer, a time set apart when everything slows to minimum activity, sleeps in and puts on a bit of fat (at least in my case).
But you can't do it with last season's old stuff lying around. You need to create a clear space in your environment, in your head, where resting is an eye-option, a mind-option, a heart-option - without distraction.
Sorting meticulously through the garden on a crisp-bright day, filling two large bags of past-prime tomato plants, half-rotted stems weighted down by new growth above. The roses were trimmed, the falling-inward daisy bush cut to nudity.
The garden is winter-bare now. Disused vegetable patches awaiting summer sun have been sprinkled with lentils and soy beans to grow a green manure cover crop and add nutrients for summer's new tomato crop. Parts of lawn that yet retain their dew on the hottest winter days are resting from brutal trims.
All the old vegetation is on the "compost" heap (a nice term for the pile of anything I weed out, throw out or clear out, which currently houses a family of stripey field mice).
I guess it's de-cluttering in a way. Clearing out the old so that the ground can rest and renew.
To me that's what winter's all about, what God intended this down-time to be. A resting before the busyness of Spring and Summer, a time set apart when everything slows to minimum activity, sleeps in and puts on a bit of fat (at least in my case).
But you can't do it with last season's old stuff lying around. You need to create a clear space in your environment, in your head, where resting is an eye-option, a mind-option, a heart-option - without distraction.
Shabbat Shalom
O God, hear our prayer.
Grant us strength when we are tempted.
Grant us courage when we are afraid.
Guide us when we do not know what to do.
Give us a cheerful heart when we are discouraged.
Comfort us when life brings us sorrow.
Help us to be persevering when things are difficult.
May Your love and peace prevail so that nothing may take away our joy.
Terrorist Evangelism Revisited
Seems I've been targeted as an Evil One for the terms I used when describing our hit-and-run chalk-art evangelism. A lot of (mainly American) people don't like that I used the term "Terrorist" in a Christian context. A lot of people who know nothing about me and just read that one post. A lot of people who don't know that I "targeted" my own flock, a church I've been a member of for 15 years - and didn't go out into rival congregations to terrorize them! I didn't fill the streets of my town with hit-you-hard messages, I didn't go tell the next denomination what was wrong with their theology. None of the messages were provocative, or negative, or poke-you-in-the-eye.
I'm sad today. I'm discouraged that what I say can be so twisted around by other's perceptions.
I've lived through terrorism. I've had friends killed by terrorists in the war in Zimbabwe. I've had to run and hide. ME, PERSONALLY. It wasn't something on the news, it wasn't an attack on others, it was ME. It's no joke and I wasn't trying to make it one.
But what else do you call hit-and-run evangelism?
(You know, if I wasn't such an insensitive fool this kind of thing may make me give up blogging for good...)
I'm sad today. I'm discouraged that what I say can be so twisted around by other's perceptions.
I've lived through terrorism. I've had friends killed by terrorists in the war in Zimbabwe. I've had to run and hide. ME, PERSONALLY. It wasn't something on the news, it wasn't an attack on others, it was ME. It's no joke and I wasn't trying to make it one.
But what else do you call hit-and-run evangelism?
(You know, if I wasn't such an insensitive fool this kind of thing may make me give up blogging for good...)
The Verdict
After a couple of days of intermittent "switch everything off so we can check the system"s, the verdict is in from the electrical inspectors who are working on behalf of the government regulations body.
Our ancient 3-storey mud-brick institutional headquarters (YES, mud-brick! built in the 1920's) is in dire need of a complete overhaul of electrical cables and do-dads. The current ripple is that we should all be banned from the building for 3 weeks while they redo every inch of wiring. Wouldn't that be fun? I'd agree to it if they put up that wireless internet thingy I've been promised so I can sit on the net at home....
However, it's more likely to be a building-ban of 3 days while they rush frantically through roofs and walls and crawlspaces, rewiring everything in site.
A similar verdict was given for the small block of flats I live in, built around the 1950's I think. They took one look at the only flat standing empty and said we all need to move out immediately. Well, no-one's been moved yet, so let's hope nothing shorts out - there are no, I repeat, NO fire-extinguishers or hose-points in the vicinity of my home....
Our ancient 3-storey mud-brick institutional headquarters (YES, mud-brick! built in the 1920's) is in dire need of a complete overhaul of electrical cables and do-dads. The current ripple is that we should all be banned from the building for 3 weeks while they redo every inch of wiring. Wouldn't that be fun? I'd agree to it if they put up that wireless internet thingy I've been promised so I can sit on the net at home....
However, it's more likely to be a building-ban of 3 days while they rush frantically through roofs and walls and crawlspaces, rewiring everything in site.
A similar verdict was given for the small block of flats I live in, built around the 1950's I think. They took one look at the only flat standing empty and said we all need to move out immediately. Well, no-one's been moved yet, so let's hope nothing shorts out - there are no, I repeat, NO fire-extinguishers or hose-points in the vicinity of my home....
One for the De-Institutionalized!
Thought Eddie, Bruce and George would enjoy this one!
Found via liquidthinking at landoverbaptist (which, by the way, is a "satire" site, just in case you go there and get your knickers in a knot!)
Found via liquidthinking at landoverbaptist (which, by the way, is a "satire" site, just in case you go there and get your knickers in a knot!)
Unwanted Blog Break
I is back! :) We've had no power for a while, so no blogging. And it took a while to get back up on our feet network-wise, but it's almost there. Just the email system left to boot up and get going.
Unfortunately I don't have a lot going on my head - I'm in total work mode for a change and ripping through things that have been stacked and waiting for ages.
So when there's something other than the mundane in my head, it will be posted!
Unfortunately I don't have a lot going on my head - I'm in total work mode for a change and ripping through things that have been stacked and waiting for ages.
So when there's something other than the mundane in my head, it will be posted!
Blog Limitations
From this article:
"We may be in the golden age of blogging, a quirky Camelot moment in Internet history when some guy in his underwear with too much free time can take down a Washington politician. It will be interesting to see what role blogs play in the upcoming election. Blogs can be a great way of communicating, but they can keep people apart too. If I read only those of my choice, precisely tuned to my political biases and you read only yours, we could end up a nation of political solipsists, vacuum sealed in our private feedback loops, never exposed to new arguments, never having to listen to a single word we disagree with."
Which is why we need to both read and link to blogs outside our "stated purpose" - get to know the bloggers behind them and entertain a different perspective once in a while.
"We may be in the golden age of blogging, a quirky Camelot moment in Internet history when some guy in his underwear with too much free time can take down a Washington politician. It will be interesting to see what role blogs play in the upcoming election. Blogs can be a great way of communicating, but they can keep people apart too. If I read only those of my choice, precisely tuned to my political biases and you read only yours, we could end up a nation of political solipsists, vacuum sealed in our private feedback loops, never exposed to new arguments, never having to listen to a single word we disagree with."
Which is why we need to both read and link to blogs outside our "stated purpose" - get to know the bloggers behind them and entertain a different perspective once in a while.
The Green Man says that men are becoming less productive these days. Sperm counts are down and there are many fingers being wagged in the direction of what's causing it.
Among these is malnutrition, noteably a shortage of vitamin C, selenium, zinc, and folate - early shortages leading to long-reaching problems.
Looking at my son's diet, it definitely does NOT include enough of these things! He hates most green leafy veggies (will only eat avo on bread or broccoli in soup), doesn't get enough in the fruit line, and could be missing out on a good few trace elements. On top of it all we're vegetarian, and have to make sure we get sufficient vitamin B from various sources (not easy!).
After having explained how important nutrition is, my son decided to investigate what was in his Froot Loops and Pronutro cereals. Which lead to a half-hour read-through and discussion on what each thing was for. A learning curve in the amount of sugar present and how little of anything else, and a practice of his Maths skills in working out how much of a box he'd have to consume to get all his dietary bits in each day.
I think that finally - FINALLY - he's come to realize that we need to step up the nutritional pace and eat more good things. He ate a lot of apples for supper last night! :) And we're working our way through ideas to include things we don't usually touch, but should.
All so that one day I might be a grandmother!
Among these is malnutrition, noteably a shortage of vitamin C, selenium, zinc, and folate - early shortages leading to long-reaching problems.
Looking at my son's diet, it definitely does NOT include enough of these things! He hates most green leafy veggies (will only eat avo on bread or broccoli in soup), doesn't get enough in the fruit line, and could be missing out on a good few trace elements. On top of it all we're vegetarian, and have to make sure we get sufficient vitamin B from various sources (not easy!).
After having explained how important nutrition is, my son decided to investigate what was in his Froot Loops and Pronutro cereals. Which lead to a half-hour read-through and discussion on what each thing was for. A learning curve in the amount of sugar present and how little of anything else, and a practice of his Maths skills in working out how much of a box he'd have to consume to get all his dietary bits in each day.
I think that finally - FINALLY - he's come to realize that we need to step up the nutritional pace and eat more good things. He ate a lot of apples for supper last night! :) And we're working our way through ideas to include things we don't usually touch, but should.
All so that one day I might be a grandmother!
The End
TallSkinnyKiwi has kindly informed us that the world will be ending soon, at 9 in the morning on 23 October, 2004 to be exact. He suggests we party like there's no tomorrow (cos there really may not be). Or just celebrate our 6,000th birthday of the world. Or Just Celebrate, regardless.
(But if you're Mayan, you get an extra 12 years and can put off the party until then.)
If the world WERE ending on that date - what would I be doing differently today?
(But if you're Mayan, you get an extra 12 years and can put off the party until then.)
If the world WERE ending on that date - what would I be doing differently today?
Reprieve!
The boss just came by to say:
"If you have any work you can do that doesn't need electricity, please be here at the normal time... BUT if all your work needs electricity, come in after lunch." They're testing electric systems in the building all morning tomorrow as part of a campus-wide upgrade.
You can guess which option I'll take! If I didn't have to have my son at school by 7:30 it would be a late-sleep day too, but that will have to wait one more day until Wednesday's pulic holiday.
My mind's already spinning with the possibilities of what I can get up to! Perhaps though I just need a do-nothing morning, rest and relaxation and a bit of extra God-time.
"If you have any work you can do that doesn't need electricity, please be here at the normal time... BUT if all your work needs electricity, come in after lunch." They're testing electric systems in the building all morning tomorrow as part of a campus-wide upgrade.
You can guess which option I'll take! If I didn't have to have my son at school by 7:30 it would be a late-sleep day too, but that will have to wait one more day until Wednesday's pulic holiday.
My mind's already spinning with the possibilities of what I can get up to! Perhaps though I just need a do-nothing morning, rest and relaxation and a bit of extra God-time.
Winter
They said the sun would rise at 7:45 this morning. It's now 9:45 and it's getting light for the first time today - it's been raining very heavily since early morning. The kind of day when you just don't want to get out of bed, but have to. I'd like to send a petition to my son's school that they leave off starting at 7:30 in winter and go for an hour later!
Yesterday was similar - up on the mountain slopes we were drenched, while we could see clear skies down at the seashore. We spent the entire day plonked in front of 5 videos. Square-eyes supreme.
In modern times it's easy to throw a light switch and extend your day by as many hours as you need/want to. Sometimes we forget that the planet has rythms that we would do well not to ignore. That winter is a time for extra rest during the extra dark hours. A time for cocooning and letting the body and soul rejuvinate. So that when Spring arrives we're as bursting with life as the world around us.
::update::
Wouldn't you know it. Mean Mr Sun has decided to brightly pop in at just the moment he usually hits my screen - obliterating all view of what's on it. He'll probably go back to bed once his path has passed that critical point when I can see stuff on the monitor again....
Maybe there's a rythm in this that I should pay attention to too - time to take a break from square-eyeing myself, notice the world beyond my office and stand up for a stretch.
Yesterday was similar - up on the mountain slopes we were drenched, while we could see clear skies down at the seashore. We spent the entire day plonked in front of 5 videos. Square-eyes supreme.
In modern times it's easy to throw a light switch and extend your day by as many hours as you need/want to. Sometimes we forget that the planet has rythms that we would do well not to ignore. That winter is a time for extra rest during the extra dark hours. A time for cocooning and letting the body and soul rejuvinate. So that when Spring arrives we're as bursting with life as the world around us.
::update::
Wouldn't you know it. Mean Mr Sun has decided to brightly pop in at just the moment he usually hits my screen - obliterating all view of what's on it. He'll probably go back to bed once his path has passed that critical point when I can see stuff on the monitor again....
Maybe there's a rythm in this that I should pay attention to too - time to take a break from square-eyeing myself, notice the world beyond my office and stand up for a stretch.
Disasters, Surprises and Miracles
It started as a chain reaction, really, but was classified Disaster pretty quickly. The car wouldn't start - because it was cold and had been sitting for 2 days. We would have roll-started it, but the maintenance crew has had half our road blocked by metal girders in preparation for cementing it up, for the past two weeks already. So there was limited hill left - and the car didn't start in that space. A neighbour tried to help with jumper cables - no luck. 45 minutes later I was seriously late for the pre-service worship practice. The first-time leader was getting panicky, and so was I!
I used my "phone a friend" option to get a lift to church, and we were used to facilitate an awesome service (some serious God-time in the silences). But right at the end the Surprise struck - the worship leader asked the entire church to pray for me "because Michelle arrived here in a panic after her car gave out". OK, that sounded a lot worse than it really was, but nevertheless, the church took it to heart and started praying! Not only for the car, but for me, my life and family, my gifts and talents, and the blessing I was to the church....!
After the service a few folk rushed me to find out what was going on. And that's when the Miracle arrived. The church has decided they will not only send a mechanic my way, but will cover all the costs too. For a service, or replacement of all the cables, or whatever it takes to get me back on the road.
I am completely blown away. This is like nothing I expected at all! The car does need a service, but next month when I could afford it. I was going to get other things fixed bit by bit. But this group has taken it on themselves to be God to me and sort out a non-life-threatening problem. Without me even thinking to ask.
Awesome!
I used my "phone a friend" option to get a lift to church, and we were used to facilitate an awesome service (some serious God-time in the silences). But right at the end the Surprise struck - the worship leader asked the entire church to pray for me "because Michelle arrived here in a panic after her car gave out". OK, that sounded a lot worse than it really was, but nevertheless, the church took it to heart and started praying! Not only for the car, but for me, my life and family, my gifts and talents, and the blessing I was to the church....!
After the service a few folk rushed me to find out what was going on. And that's when the Miracle arrived. The church has decided they will not only send a mechanic my way, but will cover all the costs too. For a service, or replacement of all the cables, or whatever it takes to get me back on the road.
I am completely blown away. This is like nothing I expected at all! The car does need a service, but next month when I could afford it. I was going to get other things fixed bit by bit. But this group has taken it on themselves to be God to me and sort out a non-life-threatening problem. Without me even thinking to ask.
Awesome!
Terrorist Evangelism
The Terrorists:
The Method: while everyone is in church, dash around the campus with a box of sidewalk chalks, leaving gigantic messages on the roads to be found on church-exit, and then disappear before anyone sees you.
The Messages:
Jesus, river of life in a thirsty land (cross with river flowing from base and green branches springing from top)
Heaven - designed by my son. (circle of light containing a cross, light beams, a heart and wings)
Shabbat Shalom.
Peace - with wings! :)
Unfortunately the most intricate one didn't come out on film - a hand pierced with a nail, blood dripping onto the words "Life.Free.Eternal" - we kinda dropped the camera and when we went back to take the pics that had disappeared, the dappled sunlight made it impossible to see what we'd taken a pic of!
Of course we had our terrorist timing planned just right - on Sunday the rain came down and all our messages are washed away.
We had the coolest God-time ever! And got to explain to one ex-best-friend who caught us what it was all about.
Postscript: terrorist evangelism is hard on the butt-muscles....
The Method: while everyone is in church, dash around the campus with a box of sidewalk chalks, leaving gigantic messages on the roads to be found on church-exit, and then disappear before anyone sees you.
The Messages:
Jesus, river of life in a thirsty land (cross with river flowing from base and green branches springing from top)
Heaven - designed by my son. (circle of light containing a cross, light beams, a heart and wings)
Shabbat Shalom.
Peace - with wings! :)
Unfortunately the most intricate one didn't come out on film - a hand pierced with a nail, blood dripping onto the words "Life.Free.Eternal" - we kinda dropped the camera and when we went back to take the pics that had disappeared, the dappled sunlight made it impossible to see what we'd taken a pic of!
Of course we had our terrorist timing planned just right - on Sunday the rain came down and all our messages are washed away.
We had the coolest God-time ever! And got to explain to one ex-best-friend who caught us what it was all about.
Postscript: terrorist evangelism is hard on the butt-muscles....
Shabbat Shalom
Listen to the salutation to the dawn,
Look to this day for it is life, the very life of life,
In its brief course lie all the verities and realities of our existence.
The bliss of growth, the splendor of beauty,
For yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow is only a vision,
But today well spent makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well therefore to this day.
Such is the salutation to the dawn.
-Sanskrit Prayer at Dawn
The missing post
I was going to write something here about how excluded I felt at the worship team practice last night now that they know I'm leaving - I even got about 5 paragraphs done - then decided it actually doesn't matter. I don't need to get all sorry for myself, I just need to walk forward, shoulders squared, into what I know God is doing on my journey.
So that's that.
So that's that.
Muddling in the Huddle
I love my church friends, I really do. They're awesome people, many of whom are the strongest Christians I've ever met. They're genuine and open and loving.
But (and you knew there was a but coming, didn't ya!) they seem so caught up in organizational self-preservation. So many of the activities are to feed the group. They make occasional very good forays into society - like supporting a school for homeless kids, helping build a church in the squatter camps and reaching out to farm workers nearby.
But most of their time, energy and resources are spent on maintaining the group - camps, courses, cell groups, meetings, building plans, worship team education and such. All that energy spent muddling in the huddle.
This is my last month with the worship team (indefinitely). I have 2 more services to play at. I don't know how regular my attendance will be after that. My mom did say I need to keep close to a community of believers and they are about all I have. But already I can see a difference, as if I've stepped over the outer wall. I haven't heard from some folk who used to call every day - probably because those calls were mainly worship team stuff with a bit of "how are you" thrown in. Because I won't be involved directly, because I've handed over my worship committee admin duties, there's perhaps not much to say to me - I'm outside the holy huddle, not helping to keep it running smoothly anymore.
It's pretty hard to maintain friendships outside the perimiter of a group. If you're not involved day-to-day in the group's existance, it's difficult to make contact with those who are. There's less in common and you see each other irregularly.
It is something I am going to need to work hard at. I need people - I can't journey alone. I respect the opinions and enjoy the friendships of those whom I have come to know well. It's just going to take a lot more effort now to meet up, to check in. We may have to find new common ground to talk about and relate over. I can't just glide along with the flock anymore. I can't just muddle in the huddle.
While I'm in this resting period, waiting to see what God wants me to do next and learning what life with Him is about, I need to keep my connections with His kids. I need to dig deeper into their lives and connect with their hearts. Some may fall away, others may come by - but I need to do my part and not lose out on the beautiful unique people He's put in my life, simply because I don't want the effort involved.
But (and you knew there was a but coming, didn't ya!) they seem so caught up in organizational self-preservation. So many of the activities are to feed the group. They make occasional very good forays into society - like supporting a school for homeless kids, helping build a church in the squatter camps and reaching out to farm workers nearby.
But most of their time, energy and resources are spent on maintaining the group - camps, courses, cell groups, meetings, building plans, worship team education and such. All that energy spent muddling in the huddle.
This is my last month with the worship team (indefinitely). I have 2 more services to play at. I don't know how regular my attendance will be after that. My mom did say I need to keep close to a community of believers and they are about all I have. But already I can see a difference, as if I've stepped over the outer wall. I haven't heard from some folk who used to call every day - probably because those calls were mainly worship team stuff with a bit of "how are you" thrown in. Because I won't be involved directly, because I've handed over my worship committee admin duties, there's perhaps not much to say to me - I'm outside the holy huddle, not helping to keep it running smoothly anymore.
It's pretty hard to maintain friendships outside the perimiter of a group. If you're not involved day-to-day in the group's existance, it's difficult to make contact with those who are. There's less in common and you see each other irregularly.
It is something I am going to need to work hard at. I need people - I can't journey alone. I respect the opinions and enjoy the friendships of those whom I have come to know well. It's just going to take a lot more effort now to meet up, to check in. We may have to find new common ground to talk about and relate over. I can't just glide along with the flock anymore. I can't just muddle in the huddle.
While I'm in this resting period, waiting to see what God wants me to do next and learning what life with Him is about, I need to keep my connections with His kids. I need to dig deeper into their lives and connect with their hearts. Some may fall away, others may come by - but I need to do my part and not lose out on the beautiful unique people He's put in my life, simply because I don't want the effort involved.
The Big Question
Why is that when you bring an apple to work to munch mid-morning, you don't get hungry at all - but when you bring nothing, by 10 you're so starving that you trawl through your bag and desk, looking for wayward leftover restaurant mints to keep you alive until lunchtime?
Street Kids and the Homeless
Last night's news had the annual insert on how the recent bone-numbing cold has been affecting the street kids and homeless in our cities. Many do not have a blanket to their name, and are huddled around fires made from anything they can find to survive. A lot of them will freeze to death this winter.
And in this morning's staff worship-time, the annual prayer request for these folk came up. I was asked to pray - and had a hard time actually doing it.
After all, what are our prayers going to actually help? Is it just to ease our concience that we've now "done our spiritual duty"?
I once heard of a pastor who was asked to pray for some cause (a missionary I think who was in financial difficulty). He refused. Instead he asked everyone present to open up their wallets, took up a collection, and more than covered the need they would previously have "just prayed" for.
So here I am, wondering what we can do more than just pray. More than go hand out money or a blanket to any bedraggled-looking street person we come across.
What more permanent solutions are there - and how can I help? What can I do NOW for at least one person who may otherwise not make it through tonight? What can I do that will last?
Something I'm thinking hard about today.
And in this morning's staff worship-time, the annual prayer request for these folk came up. I was asked to pray - and had a hard time actually doing it.
After all, what are our prayers going to actually help? Is it just to ease our concience that we've now "done our spiritual duty"?
I once heard of a pastor who was asked to pray for some cause (a missionary I think who was in financial difficulty). He refused. Instead he asked everyone present to open up their wallets, took up a collection, and more than covered the need they would previously have "just prayed" for.
So here I am, wondering what we can do more than just pray. More than go hand out money or a blanket to any bedraggled-looking street person we come across.
What more permanent solutions are there - and how can I help? What can I do NOW for at least one person who may otherwise not make it through tonight? What can I do that will last?
Something I'm thinking hard about today.
Cheap Fun!
Looking for a little light entertainment this weekend? Want to travel, but out of bucks? Then look no further than this site! Cheap, easy fun. See the world! Go places you probably shouldn't go - and pray that you don't run into a flock of sharp-beaked birds....
Kinda reminds me of that Darwin-award nominee who took his deck chair, a bunch of weather balloons and his shotgun flying - and ended up in the flight path of a large airport at a staggering height!
New Blog-Devotional
My dad has written a Romans to Revelation daily Bible study (all 365 day's worth) and I'm considering creating a blogspace for it. As I don't have internet access every day, new studies would be posted Monday to Friday.
I just wanted to check with anyone who stumbles across this blog what you think of the idea - good idea or not so good? Would you read something like that or not?
I just wanted to check with anyone who stumbles across this blog what you think of the idea - good idea or not so good? Would you read something like that or not?
It's Christmas!
Christmas in the Southern Hemisphere is way, way different from the snow and ice, huge hot meals round a fire, sledding etc that one might find at the top of the world.
Here it's a day for the beach, for cold food and outside time (except for the past 2 years which have been strangely chilly), the odd family cricket match or "kleilat" if we're at the grandparent's farm (stick a ball of muddy clay on the end of a smooth bendy stick and let fly at your victim, who is generally hiding in the bushes or behind someone else). None of that huge roast turkey with heavy side dishes. Yeah, we eat a lot, but it's light and cool.
But something I've always wanted to do is have a winter Christmas. I experienced one in Idaho a long time ago - snow all around, houses decked in lights, candles in paper bags lining the drive, and all the "traditional" Christmas trimmings.
So I'm thinking... what about a 25th of June Christmas celebration at my house? It's snowed nearby and is very chilly - we could go the whole hog on comfort foods and make it quite an occasion! No need for extravagant gifts, but I can haul out the decorations and tree. The 25th is a Friday, it's payday, and Friday night a lot of folk are free - the timing is just right.
It's a good excuse to get family and friends together. I think I may just do it!
Training Pastors (cont.)
Tim asked a while ago what I'd include in pastoral preparation studies that isn't there now.
Some things I'd like to see in our study programme:
1. An emphasis on more practical ministering/service skills - discipleship, mentoring, community building, relationship building, interpersonal skills.
2. An invitation to every single church (cross-denomination) in the area to send a leader/pastor to discuss with the students what challenges they face in their church, community and pastoral life. A requirement that the students attend their churches at least twice (or more) to see "what other people do" and open their minds to various options of what's possible. Questions & Answers with the leader after attending to clarify the why's, how's and what's.
3. A greater emphasis on personal spirituality and a deeper connection with God. As the student's biggest study priority.
4. Exposure to future trends - required reading of websites, blogs and books across all belief sectors (whether you agree or not with what's said). Openness to these ideas and brain-storming sessions on how to apply inspiration gleaned. Discussion of pro's and con's of what's learnt.
5. Ministering to the dechurched, happily unchurched and non-seekers without trying to get them "in the club". Meeting cultural groups where they are with acceptance and an open mind. How to involve your congregation in this too.
6. Fundamental Bible principles of Christianity (not just local doctrine) and individual testing/comparison with other beliefs to define one's own beliefs. Biblical models of pastoring, shepherding, ministering and how these should be applied today.
7. "Empowering the priesthood" or "working yourself out of a job" and "the art of supported delegation" - helping each member become a minster to their circle of friends, family and acquaintences.
8. Alternatives in worship - yes, the alt.worship scene, but also investigation into ancient worship practices, personal worship, corporate worship, how other churches view worship and what they're doing, and options to facilitate multi-generational, multi-need worship. Going deeper than a songservice and escaping the order of service trap (both rampant locally!).
9. A greater use of mentors one-on-one - those that are doing it now, out there living the life the students are preparing for. From year one, not as a post-script to graduation or internship.
10. An investigation into each student's reason for pastoral study - why they chose this, what they expect it to be like, what they think they'll get out of it, and what they see for the future. Defining their visions, goals and dreams within the framework of what they've chosen.
11. More than one preaching method/style taught so that students don't come out a carbon-copy of the guy that does all the Homiletics courses...and please make it culturally relevant! Preaching to African rural folk the same way you preach to urban yuppies will not reach either of them! Use of narrative, creative use of presenting a message, other than just words or a 3-point outline with a conclusion.
12. Include spouses where appropriate in "training as a team" - how to deal with the lifestyle that ministry demands, and how to cope with the fact that the pastor will not be the only "pastor" in the family, but that the spouse may be expected to be one too in duty or availability. Ministering as a family in the community. Family spirituality and man-wife-God relationship.
13. "How to take off your tie" - being a part of the community, not above it. Leading from within, paradigm shifts and alternative models of leadership.
...to be continued...
Some things I'd like to see in our study programme:
1. An emphasis on more practical ministering/service skills - discipleship, mentoring, community building, relationship building, interpersonal skills.
2. An invitation to every single church (cross-denomination) in the area to send a leader/pastor to discuss with the students what challenges they face in their church, community and pastoral life. A requirement that the students attend their churches at least twice (or more) to see "what other people do" and open their minds to various options of what's possible. Questions & Answers with the leader after attending to clarify the why's, how's and what's.
3. A greater emphasis on personal spirituality and a deeper connection with God. As the student's biggest study priority.
4. Exposure to future trends - required reading of websites, blogs and books across all belief sectors (whether you agree or not with what's said). Openness to these ideas and brain-storming sessions on how to apply inspiration gleaned. Discussion of pro's and con's of what's learnt.
5. Ministering to the dechurched, happily unchurched and non-seekers without trying to get them "in the club". Meeting cultural groups where they are with acceptance and an open mind. How to involve your congregation in this too.
6. Fundamental Bible principles of Christianity (not just local doctrine) and individual testing/comparison with other beliefs to define one's own beliefs. Biblical models of pastoring, shepherding, ministering and how these should be applied today.
7. "Empowering the priesthood" or "working yourself out of a job" and "the art of supported delegation" - helping each member become a minster to their circle of friends, family and acquaintences.
8. Alternatives in worship - yes, the alt.worship scene, but also investigation into ancient worship practices, personal worship, corporate worship, how other churches view worship and what they're doing, and options to facilitate multi-generational, multi-need worship. Going deeper than a songservice and escaping the order of service trap (both rampant locally!).
9. A greater use of mentors one-on-one - those that are doing it now, out there living the life the students are preparing for. From year one, not as a post-script to graduation or internship.
10. An investigation into each student's reason for pastoral study - why they chose this, what they expect it to be like, what they think they'll get out of it, and what they see for the future. Defining their visions, goals and dreams within the framework of what they've chosen.
11. More than one preaching method/style taught so that students don't come out a carbon-copy of the guy that does all the Homiletics courses...and please make it culturally relevant! Preaching to African rural folk the same way you preach to urban yuppies will not reach either of them! Use of narrative, creative use of presenting a message, other than just words or a 3-point outline with a conclusion.
12. Include spouses where appropriate in "training as a team" - how to deal with the lifestyle that ministry demands, and how to cope with the fact that the pastor will not be the only "pastor" in the family, but that the spouse may be expected to be one too in duty or availability. Ministering as a family in the community. Family spirituality and man-wife-God relationship.
13. "How to take off your tie" - being a part of the community, not above it. Leading from within, paradigm shifts and alternative models of leadership.
...to be continued...
Celestial Bodies
It's one of those historic days in the sky again. This time it's the planet Venus which moved in front of our sun, and was visible through the appropriate viewing apparatus (or a triple-folded piece of silver-foil wrapping paper) as a tiny dot in the upper-right-hand quadrant of the orb.
Nice. Not going to happen again for 120 years, so this was my only chance to see it.
HOWEVER, a new daily game of our flaming planet is to hide behind banks of clouds until, oh..say..about 1pm - about the time it can aim directly at my computer screen during winter and make everything on it invisible until 3! And then it kindly gets back under it's covers for the day....
Nice. Not going to happen again for 120 years, so this was my only chance to see it.
HOWEVER, a new daily game of our flaming planet is to hide behind banks of clouds until, oh..say..about 1pm - about the time it can aim directly at my computer screen during winter and make everything on it invisible until 3! And then it kindly gets back under it's covers for the day....
Guilt and Peace
I'm still trying to figure this one out:
I know we're born sinful creatures. That every day we sin, whether we realize it or not. That without cleansing from that sin there's no forever-after with God (and that Jesus died to cleanse us, a free gift which we only have to reach out and take). I also know that we are to confess our sins and "clean our heavenly book", so to speak, every day.
But sometimes at the end of the day I can't pinpoint things that are "sin", I can't find definites to confess. I have to pray a blanket prayer of forgiveness for wrongs I can't recall doing.
And yet at the same time I'm all peaceful inside, knowing God is covering me and saving me daily.
But aren't I supposed to be feeling guilty from sin, weighed under by the sense of what I am? There are a lot of saints that seemed to feel this acutely! And if I'm not feeling guilty is that a good thing or a bad thing - does it mean that my sense of assurance of salvation is intact, or that I'm so far from God and don't even know it?
I'm really struggling with this one at the moment. Trying to balance peace (lukewarmness?) with guilt (conviction of sin?).
Why does it have to be so hard to find the right answer???
I know we're born sinful creatures. That every day we sin, whether we realize it or not. That without cleansing from that sin there's no forever-after with God (and that Jesus died to cleanse us, a free gift which we only have to reach out and take). I also know that we are to confess our sins and "clean our heavenly book", so to speak, every day.
But sometimes at the end of the day I can't pinpoint things that are "sin", I can't find definites to confess. I have to pray a blanket prayer of forgiveness for wrongs I can't recall doing.
And yet at the same time I'm all peaceful inside, knowing God is covering me and saving me daily.
But aren't I supposed to be feeling guilty from sin, weighed under by the sense of what I am? There are a lot of saints that seemed to feel this acutely! And if I'm not feeling guilty is that a good thing or a bad thing - does it mean that my sense of assurance of salvation is intact, or that I'm so far from God and don't even know it?
I'm really struggling with this one at the moment. Trying to balance peace (lukewarmness?) with guilt (conviction of sin?).
Why does it have to be so hard to find the right answer???
Icons
Ronald Reagan is gone. I didn't know him personally, but I had heard of him. Apparently he did great things in his time for the country he managed, for the world.
Last week Nelson Mandela retired permanently from public life in South Africa and world-wide. He wants time to sit at home and be an old man. There is talk that he may not be around much longer. And the news mentioned that when he dies the police will be geared up to deal with a grief-related crime surge.
Icons. More and more of them are passing on. Every few days there's another.
Last week Nelson Mandela retired permanently from public life in South Africa and world-wide. He wants time to sit at home and be an old man. There is talk that he may not be around much longer. And the news mentioned that when he dies the police will be geared up to deal with a grief-related crime surge.
Icons. More and more of them are passing on. Every few days there's another.
Organic Worship
Believing as I do that obedience to God's 10 Commandments is a love response to our free salvation and not a "means to an end", this weekend I checked back at Exodus 20 for a Refresher Course to see how much I could remember. And kept reading. And found this:
"Instead, make an altar out of the natural stones of the earth... When you build an altar, don't build it out of cut stones. If you use any tool, or put forth any human effort to make it acceptable, it will lose its meaning and be unfit for worship. And don't make a high altar with lots of steps because I don't want others to see your nakedness as you go up."
(vs 24-26)
Which, of course, got me thinking about how we do church nowadays.
How much is natural worship to God, straight from the earthy creation of our hearts, and how much is hewn stone, a carefully-chiselled performance to fit together and look good to man? How often do we elevate the worship leaders on a high stage (with many steps - literal and figurative - to get up there), only to find their "nakedness", to have their pride or just-for-show leadership exposed? What about our ambience-correct buildings, comfortable pews, overhead projections?
What can we do to change this back to the way God intended us to worship? Can we throw down those carefully-squared alters we've created and build our worship once again from the ground up, using what God has naturally given us? Can we cut the human effort to perform, to make things go smoothly, to follow our own self-invented patterns, and return to our heart worshipping God without frills and fanfare? Can we not grow so attached to the altars we've built that we either don't want to move on with the journey, or try lug them along in our backpacks?
Our "Christian culture" of church and how worship is "done" is very deeply ingrained, in 2000 (or maybe even 6000) year's worth of generations. Perhaps we have completely lost sight of how it's supposed to be.
Now and then we catch a whiff of the sweet scent of true worship and long for more. But all our efforts lead to frustration, to a facade, and drive us further from God.
"Instead, make an altar out of the natural stones of the earth... When you build an altar, don't build it out of cut stones. If you use any tool, or put forth any human effort to make it acceptable, it will lose its meaning and be unfit for worship. And don't make a high altar with lots of steps because I don't want others to see your nakedness as you go up."
(vs 24-26)
Which, of course, got me thinking about how we do church nowadays.
How much is natural worship to God, straight from the earthy creation of our hearts, and how much is hewn stone, a carefully-chiselled performance to fit together and look good to man? How often do we elevate the worship leaders on a high stage (with many steps - literal and figurative - to get up there), only to find their "nakedness", to have their pride or just-for-show leadership exposed? What about our ambience-correct buildings, comfortable pews, overhead projections?
What can we do to change this back to the way God intended us to worship? Can we throw down those carefully-squared alters we've created and build our worship once again from the ground up, using what God has naturally given us? Can we cut the human effort to perform, to make things go smoothly, to follow our own self-invented patterns, and return to our heart worshipping God without frills and fanfare? Can we not grow so attached to the altars we've built that we either don't want to move on with the journey, or try lug them along in our backpacks?
Our "Christian culture" of church and how worship is "done" is very deeply ingrained, in 2000 (or maybe even 6000) year's worth of generations. Perhaps we have completely lost sight of how it's supposed to be.
Now and then we catch a whiff of the sweet scent of true worship and long for more. But all our efforts lead to frustration, to a facade, and drive us further from God.
Blog Tour
Was idly thinking this weekend - wouldn't it be great to go on a world meet-the-bloggers tour? Stop off in Canada to see Jamie & Em, in the USA to see...well, a whole lot of you!, in Australia to meet Darren, Hamo, Tim and others, in the UK to approach the Tall Kiwi guy in awe and say hi to Jonathan, hit Malaysia-area and see Irene and Messy Christian.
Not that any of them want to see me, but hey, it's a cool dream! :)
Now where did I put that lotto ticket...
Not that any of them want to see me, but hey, it's a cool dream! :)
Now where did I put that lotto ticket...
Party-hearty!
So, a quick update on the cool party we had for my son on Sunday, before I rush on to other subjects.
It was AWESOME! We all had such fun. And with all the swords flashing around, I was the only one who came off 2nd-best - got wacked on the hand by a wooden-sword-weilding charging knight who was aiming at a balloon he should have popped instead of my hand... He may have cracked something, but not sure.
Decor was major-cheap. I used a roll of black plastic garbage bags and made a gigantic dragon which we stuck on the ceiling above the table, head hanging down. Scared one kid spitless when he suddenly noticed it above his head. Also blocked off Jason's "room" with a curtain of bags so no kids got in his stuff.
A lot of the kids said "best party this year". We ate, we played, we jousted, we had prizes and lots of fun. I may not know how to host an adult party, but kids are my speciality!
And an hour after it ended I was completely exhausted... :)
Pics: food, and my son "drawing" his sword from the couch -
(and then the digital camera ran out of batteries....got more with the "real" camera, but not developed yet)
It was AWESOME! We all had such fun. And with all the swords flashing around, I was the only one who came off 2nd-best - got wacked on the hand by a wooden-sword-weilding charging knight who was aiming at a balloon he should have popped instead of my hand... He may have cracked something, but not sure.
Decor was major-cheap. I used a roll of black plastic garbage bags and made a gigantic dragon which we stuck on the ceiling above the table, head hanging down. Scared one kid spitless when he suddenly noticed it above his head. Also blocked off Jason's "room" with a curtain of bags so no kids got in his stuff.
A lot of the kids said "best party this year". We ate, we played, we jousted, we had prizes and lots of fun. I may not know how to host an adult party, but kids are my speciality!
And an hour after it ended I was completely exhausted... :)
Pics: food, and my son "drawing" his sword from the couch -
(and then the digital camera ran out of batteries....got more with the "real" camera, but not developed yet)
Shabbat Shalom
May the Maker of water
And air and fire
Heal you
Who walk the earth
-Anne Powell, "Blessing" in Firesong (New Zealand)
via Steve
50 Things About Me
Messy Christian posted her 50 things yesterday, and encouraged us to do the same. So here goes (hope I can find 50)!
1. I can smell rain a day before it arrives. Regardless of whether there are actually clouds around or not. Can't stand rain spiders though!
2. My first job was as a cheesemaker - I developed a cheese factory from the ground up for a dairy/wine/fruit farm. Unfortunately they closed it after 2 years and retrenched me as a cost-cutting exercise. But it was fun while it lasted!
3. I'm a vegetarian, but not a vegan. However, I will eat chicken at a braai (barbecue) if necessary, but cannot stand red meat or seafood.
4. I was three months preganant at my 21st birthday party. No-one knew.
5. I'm the oldest child of three and the only girl.
6. I'm really shy, but have managed to cover that up with a veneer of out-goingness pretty successfully - even though inside I may still want to run and hide behind the couch.
7. I started piano lessons in first grade and did them right through school - except for the last year of school. I decided to give voice a try for a year. I play by instinct, by ear, and have a hard time reading music without having first heard it.
8. I used to head-bang to AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" and am a Def Leppard fan. I enjoy the occasional bone-numbing heavy rock, but have to be in the mood.
9. I'm really lazy, but cover it by being exceptionally organized so I can have enough time to laze around.
10. I don't plan on ever getting married. I don't think it's for me at all, and am happy to stay single forever.
11. I've taught myself everything I know about computers, the internet and various programmes. This, apparently, had made me the local office expert...
12. I enjoyed horse riding and jumping as a kid. I got thrown off a horse twice at a gallop - same horse, in the space of 10 minutes!
13. I don't know how to fight verbally with another person. I usually just shut up and leave.
14. I love moonstones. One day I'll own a big one.
15. I often dream of flying - but not just flying, rather running so fast that you eventually take off. Or "swimming" just above the ground - the faster you swim the higher you go.
16. I bake, a lot, when I'm depressed. Or on winter weekend afternoons
17. I'm allergic to long-haired cats, but nothing else.
18. I once cracked my pelvis in an almighty car crash. I was lucky to come out of it alive.
19. My ancestors on my mother's side were seafaring men. One of them lost the battle of Saratoga.
20. I don't have any fillings in my teeth.
21. I speak two languages fluently (English & Afrikaans), but can understand smatterings of Spanish, German and Dutch.
22. My first kiss was when I was 15.
23. I haven't had a date in 8 years. Last one stood me up! :)
24. My dad was one of 6 kids. One died a week before his wedding in a car crash. I only ever see the others at family funerals, even though many live close by.
25. I once disrupted a church service where my dad was preaching by coming down the aisle dressed as a bride, little brother holding the train, singing "here comes the bride". It wasn't recently.... :)
26. I grew up in Zimbabwe (12 years there, including during the war), but was born in East London, South Africa. I've lived in the Cape area of South Africa since 1984.
27. I love thunderstorms. Or any other dramatic natural event.
28. I often wonder what would happen if I drove into the side pillars of an overhead bridge on the highway at speed. I'm unlikely to try it though.
29. I can't dive off a diving board into a pool. If I do, it feels like a brick is hitting my head, although I dive "correctly".
30. I don't drink (alcohol). I used to - a lot, but could never get a hangover or lose track of what I was doing, even though I tried.
31. I wrote prolifically in high school - short stories and poems mostly. Can't remember how to now.
32. When I left school I swore I'd never work behind a desk. Look where I am now...
33. I was raised in the equipment box at my dad's evangelistic campaigns, where I used to sleep once it was unpacked while he preached. It was my job to help take down the flourescent letters he used to illustrate points on black fabric after the meetings (early PowerPoint?). I once disrupted a meeting where he was preaching on something dramatic by getting too close to the mains light switches and throwing them on and off rapidly - I was just a babe-in-arms.
34. I know how to silk-screen - thanks to above evangelistic campaigns needing advertising posters.
35. I won't watch horror/occult-type movies. But a little bit of scare isn't too bad as long as it's not the entire movie.
36. I do better in the kitchen at parties than I do as host.
37. I've never been sporty. I tried for 8 years to do a handstand, but only ever got it right in the swimming pool.
38. In high school I could never picture myself married, but could picture myself as a mother - and look what happened.
39. I never held a baby before my own. I didn't really like kids until he came along.
40. I've always wanted to try archeology and go discovering cool old stuff all over the world.
41. I'm fascinated with ancient Egypt - probably as a result of dad's evangelistic campaigns and his prophecy/Egypt slide-shows!
42. I've still got my first teddybear, old and tatty as it is.
43. I don't like things with more than 4 legs - spiders, lobsters, large insects. Snakes have none, and I love them.
44. I'm a dog person. I have 3 schipperkes, but if I had the space would go empty out the local SPCA and give every dog a super home.
45. I throw up easily. The sight or sound of someone "hawking" in the back of their throat will make me hurl.
46. I've been almost-engaged twice. I'm thankful it never worked out. I still have the ring I designed for one of those.
47. I haven't swum in the sea for at least 10 years, even though it's 10 minutes drive from here.
48. I've never tasted mustard.
49. Since being pregnant the smell of car fumes or a certain men's aftershave make me want to be ill. Before, it wasn't a problem.
50. I have/had a crush on a guy 10 years younger than me. I need to get over it. Fast.
1. I can smell rain a day before it arrives. Regardless of whether there are actually clouds around or not. Can't stand rain spiders though!
2. My first job was as a cheesemaker - I developed a cheese factory from the ground up for a dairy/wine/fruit farm. Unfortunately they closed it after 2 years and retrenched me as a cost-cutting exercise. But it was fun while it lasted!
3. I'm a vegetarian, but not a vegan. However, I will eat chicken at a braai (barbecue) if necessary, but cannot stand red meat or seafood.
4. I was three months preganant at my 21st birthday party. No-one knew.
5. I'm the oldest child of three and the only girl.
6. I'm really shy, but have managed to cover that up with a veneer of out-goingness pretty successfully - even though inside I may still want to run and hide behind the couch.
7. I started piano lessons in first grade and did them right through school - except for the last year of school. I decided to give voice a try for a year. I play by instinct, by ear, and have a hard time reading music without having first heard it.
8. I used to head-bang to AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" and am a Def Leppard fan. I enjoy the occasional bone-numbing heavy rock, but have to be in the mood.
9. I'm really lazy, but cover it by being exceptionally organized so I can have enough time to laze around.
10. I don't plan on ever getting married. I don't think it's for me at all, and am happy to stay single forever.
11. I've taught myself everything I know about computers, the internet and various programmes. This, apparently, had made me the local office expert...
12. I enjoyed horse riding and jumping as a kid. I got thrown off a horse twice at a gallop - same horse, in the space of 10 minutes!
13. I don't know how to fight verbally with another person. I usually just shut up and leave.
14. I love moonstones. One day I'll own a big one.
15. I often dream of flying - but not just flying, rather running so fast that you eventually take off. Or "swimming" just above the ground - the faster you swim the higher you go.
16. I bake, a lot, when I'm depressed. Or on winter weekend afternoons
17. I'm allergic to long-haired cats, but nothing else.
18. I once cracked my pelvis in an almighty car crash. I was lucky to come out of it alive.
19. My ancestors on my mother's side were seafaring men. One of them lost the battle of Saratoga.
20. I don't have any fillings in my teeth.
21. I speak two languages fluently (English & Afrikaans), but can understand smatterings of Spanish, German and Dutch.
22. My first kiss was when I was 15.
23. I haven't had a date in 8 years. Last one stood me up! :)
24. My dad was one of 6 kids. One died a week before his wedding in a car crash. I only ever see the others at family funerals, even though many live close by.
25. I once disrupted a church service where my dad was preaching by coming down the aisle dressed as a bride, little brother holding the train, singing "here comes the bride". It wasn't recently.... :)
26. I grew up in Zimbabwe (12 years there, including during the war), but was born in East London, South Africa. I've lived in the Cape area of South Africa since 1984.
27. I love thunderstorms. Or any other dramatic natural event.
28. I often wonder what would happen if I drove into the side pillars of an overhead bridge on the highway at speed. I'm unlikely to try it though.
29. I can't dive off a diving board into a pool. If I do, it feels like a brick is hitting my head, although I dive "correctly".
30. I don't drink (alcohol). I used to - a lot, but could never get a hangover or lose track of what I was doing, even though I tried.
31. I wrote prolifically in high school - short stories and poems mostly. Can't remember how to now.
32. When I left school I swore I'd never work behind a desk. Look where I am now...
33. I was raised in the equipment box at my dad's evangelistic campaigns, where I used to sleep once it was unpacked while he preached. It was my job to help take down the flourescent letters he used to illustrate points on black fabric after the meetings (early PowerPoint?). I once disrupted a meeting where he was preaching on something dramatic by getting too close to the mains light switches and throwing them on and off rapidly - I was just a babe-in-arms.
34. I know how to silk-screen - thanks to above evangelistic campaigns needing advertising posters.
35. I won't watch horror/occult-type movies. But a little bit of scare isn't too bad as long as it's not the entire movie.
36. I do better in the kitchen at parties than I do as host.
37. I've never been sporty. I tried for 8 years to do a handstand, but only ever got it right in the swimming pool.
38. In high school I could never picture myself married, but could picture myself as a mother - and look what happened.
39. I never held a baby before my own. I didn't really like kids until he came along.
40. I've always wanted to try archeology and go discovering cool old stuff all over the world.
41. I'm fascinated with ancient Egypt - probably as a result of dad's evangelistic campaigns and his prophecy/Egypt slide-shows!
42. I've still got my first teddybear, old and tatty as it is.
43. I don't like things with more than 4 legs - spiders, lobsters, large insects. Snakes have none, and I love them.
44. I'm a dog person. I have 3 schipperkes, but if I had the space would go empty out the local SPCA and give every dog a super home.
45. I throw up easily. The sight or sound of someone "hawking" in the back of their throat will make me hurl.
46. I've been almost-engaged twice. I'm thankful it never worked out. I still have the ring I designed for one of those.
47. I haven't swum in the sea for at least 10 years, even though it's 10 minutes drive from here.
48. I've never tasted mustard.
49. Since being pregnant the smell of car fumes or a certain men's aftershave make me want to be ill. Before, it wasn't a problem.
50. I have/had a crush on a guy 10 years younger than me. I need to get over it. Fast.
Which Narnia book are you?
(Thanks Tim for this one! I'm a total Narnia addict)
The only book which doesn't take place in Narnia at all, per se, you're the story of a voyage to find the end of the world and hopefully the Seven Lost Lords (remember Rhoop!). You contain some of the most unique people and places and beautiful descriptions of the whole series.
Find out which Chronicles of Narnia book you are.
The only book which doesn't take place in Narnia at all, per se, you're the story of a voyage to find the end of the world and hopefully the Seven Lost Lords (remember Rhoop!). You contain some of the most unique people and places and beautiful descriptions of the whole series.
Find out which Chronicles of Narnia book you are.
Community and The Neighbours
I have fanciful dreams of "living in community"; you know - it's the Christian thing to do and even the greenies think it's a good idea for the environment etc. A month or so back I posted my dream - something I'd love to do in the future. Creating community, but farming at the same time, and helping folk out toward a better future. Dear little idealistic me!
So I'm washing dishes over lunchtime, kitchen window open, and my neighbour walks by. We have a nice little bilingual chat through the window, and he goes his way.
And it strikes me:
I've been moaning about having to live in the neighbour's pockets, about hearing their every move (can tell who is going to the toilet by the weight of the footsteps...) and argument, and having them watch me when I'm out in the garden. I want a place far from the neighbours!
BUT -
If I can't live happily in a small block of 6 flats and get along well with the neighbours, what makes me think I can live in community with others and make a success of it?
I gotta stop being hypocritical and take a good hard look at how I'm living now. Get my head out the clouds of the future, and see what I'm doing NOW to create that community spirit I dream about.
Sure, two of my neighbours are fellow-gardeners and we're constanly sharing produce (and the odd freshly-made donut or sticky bun from my kitchen). One flat is standing emtpy, but I never got along with that old bird (a bit nutty). The other is occupied by FIVE folk in a one-bedroom flat above me. A married couple, the wife's kid, a student and an unknown lady we only see now and then. They're the ones that come and go at odd hours, that enjoy their music at "live" volume, and whom I don't really know or get along with.
I think I may have a bit of community service cut out for me! It's time to dig a bit deeper and practice what I love to preach on my soapbox.
So I'm washing dishes over lunchtime, kitchen window open, and my neighbour walks by. We have a nice little bilingual chat through the window, and he goes his way.
And it strikes me:
I've been moaning about having to live in the neighbour's pockets, about hearing their every move (can tell who is going to the toilet by the weight of the footsteps...) and argument, and having them watch me when I'm out in the garden. I want a place far from the neighbours!
BUT -
If I can't live happily in a small block of 6 flats and get along well with the neighbours, what makes me think I can live in community with others and make a success of it?
I gotta stop being hypocritical and take a good hard look at how I'm living now. Get my head out the clouds of the future, and see what I'm doing NOW to create that community spirit I dream about.
Sure, two of my neighbours are fellow-gardeners and we're constanly sharing produce (and the odd freshly-made donut or sticky bun from my kitchen). One flat is standing emtpy, but I never got along with that old bird (a bit nutty). The other is occupied by FIVE folk in a one-bedroom flat above me. A married couple, the wife's kid, a student and an unknown lady we only see now and then. They're the ones that come and go at odd hours, that enjoy their music at "live" volume, and whom I don't really know or get along with.
I think I may have a bit of community service cut out for me! It's time to dig a bit deeper and practice what I love to preach on my soapbox.
Stereo Art
My mother is a chalk art minister - she draws pictures in chalk live in front of an audience, often with a hidden blacklight effect, and added spiritual message. (Here is one recent drawing, together with it's hidden blacklight effect - Jesus the Shepherd. The Jesus image is hidden in the waterfall in daylight, and lights up in the dark with blacklight)
Her ministry has taken her all over the world, to such exciting places as Fiji, New Zealand, Canada, the Solomon Islands, her resident country Australia and her home country South Africa. I'm busy educating her in getting a blog going to show her art and give her experiences - watch this space!
Lately she says she's been having these flashes of inspiration, images of drawings in full colour with detail, things that have never been done before. But with her chemo and problems with her right arm where the cancer spot it, she feels she's maybe running out of time to produce them.
And now I'm having flashes too! (The older one gets, apparently, the more one becomes like one's parent....scary, but true)
I had this sudden image of her doing her chalk-on-black drawings, while at the same time I worked in charcoal (or black chalk) on white next to her - either with an interpretation of the same image, or a detail of it, or a contrasting one.
For instance, she does a scene of Jesus on the cross, I focus on a nail-pierced hand. She does wholeness, I do brokenness. Something like that. It was just a quick flash, burned into my memory, then gone - back to wherever it came from.
Now if only I had any idea of how to work decently in charcoal, it might just happen!
But I'm still experimenting and it shows. I used to be considered artistic in school, 15 years ago... but it's been a very long time since I did anything like that. I'd like to get some technique training, but am having trouble finding a teacher, at least one that won't cost me the earth. I also need a lot of practice.
But if we could get the stereo art thing going, I think it would make quite an impact! If nothing else, it would be loads of fun.
Her ministry has taken her all over the world, to such exciting places as Fiji, New Zealand, Canada, the Solomon Islands, her resident country Australia and her home country South Africa. I'm busy educating her in getting a blog going to show her art and give her experiences - watch this space!
Lately she says she's been having these flashes of inspiration, images of drawings in full colour with detail, things that have never been done before. But with her chemo and problems with her right arm where the cancer spot it, she feels she's maybe running out of time to produce them.
And now I'm having flashes too! (The older one gets, apparently, the more one becomes like one's parent....scary, but true)
I had this sudden image of her doing her chalk-on-black drawings, while at the same time I worked in charcoal (or black chalk) on white next to her - either with an interpretation of the same image, or a detail of it, or a contrasting one.
For instance, she does a scene of Jesus on the cross, I focus on a nail-pierced hand. She does wholeness, I do brokenness. Something like that. It was just a quick flash, burned into my memory, then gone - back to wherever it came from.
Now if only I had any idea of how to work decently in charcoal, it might just happen!
But I'm still experimenting and it shows. I used to be considered artistic in school, 15 years ago... but it's been a very long time since I did anything like that. I'd like to get some technique training, but am having trouble finding a teacher, at least one that won't cost me the earth. I also need a lot of practice.
But if we could get the stereo art thing going, I think it would make quite an impact! If nothing else, it would be loads of fun.
Training Pastors revisited
Looking at things from a different angle brought me to this question:
Do we NEED to train pastors? Or should we let the natural enthusiasm and heart for God be enough? Add a mentor and disciple them in areas they need it? Support them emotionally/physically but allow them to work in other areas to make ends meet and find people where they are?
I recently had an email request from a recently-converted man who is on fire for God and wants to be a missionary. He wanted to know what he had to do. Locally within this denomination, that may require a Theology degree, but he is short on cash, recognizes that the earth's future is limited, and wants to spread God's word while there's still time.
I gave him the Theology information, but then asked permission to step aside from being a college employee/promoter, and asked him if he could consider being God to those around him, where he is now - without a degree, and without going to a foreign land. Tried to give him a different perspective on missionary work and evangelism. A bit of hope perhaps.
I didn't hear back from him.... I hope I didn't do the wrong thing. It's just that I've seen too many enthusiastic men for God crushed by a four-year study programme and student debts, squeezed into a mould they don't fit in order to produce more cardboard cut-outs on graduation.
Do we NEED to train pastors? Or should we let the natural enthusiasm and heart for God be enough? Add a mentor and disciple them in areas they need it? Support them emotionally/physically but allow them to work in other areas to make ends meet and find people where they are?
I recently had an email request from a recently-converted man who is on fire for God and wants to be a missionary. He wanted to know what he had to do. Locally within this denomination, that may require a Theology degree, but he is short on cash, recognizes that the earth's future is limited, and wants to spread God's word while there's still time.
I gave him the Theology information, but then asked permission to step aside from being a college employee/promoter, and asked him if he could consider being God to those around him, where he is now - without a degree, and without going to a foreign land. Tried to give him a different perspective on missionary work and evangelism. A bit of hope perhaps.
I didn't hear back from him.... I hope I didn't do the wrong thing. It's just that I've seen too many enthusiastic men for God crushed by a four-year study programme and student debts, squeezed into a mould they don't fit in order to produce more cardboard cut-outs on graduation.
Party Planning
This entire week has been spent working towards my son's upcoming Dragons and Knights birthday party. In my "spare" time.
The invites are out - impressive enough to make some parents "ooh and aah" over them, but real easy to produce! :) Most of the party food and stuff is bought as of yesterday afternoon. Last night I spent an hour turning sour-lemon ball-type sweets into "dragon eyeballs" with white, red and black food paint. Today the major house-clean-up starts (it appears all 21 little Knights may have to party indoors, as there's a gigantic cold front on the way just in time for the party). I also have to print out dragon labels to close little brown bags that will contain sweets and cheap toys as prizes for the dragon/knight-related games, and take-home goodies.
So what's on the menu? Dragon eyeballs (see above), dragon scales and spit (Doritos with avo dip), dragon breath (candyfloss) and dragon poop (granola mixed with melted choc and made into little mounds, interspersed with choc-coated-biscuit balls). And a castle cake. It's going to be mid-afternoon so I'm not over-catering, something I tend to do every year.
We'll be playing: jousting (aim your sword at a ballon, run full speed at it and try pop it), dragon-knock (catties and ping-pong balls used to try knock over a dragon cut-out), fire-breathing (I've got a few chilies handy - the kid to finish the most without dying gets a prize), put-out-the-dragon (squirt water from a syringe toward the "mouth" of a dragon where a candle is burning and see who can put it out at the furthest distance). May have a few sword-fights too, but wouldn't want to send the young men home in tears... :)
I've set a time-limit of an hour for the party, though those who live nearby will probably hang around for a while after, or arrive way too early.
I'm looking forward to it! But am really going to need that day off on Monday. There's nothing like 21 11-year-olds to wear one out.
The invites are out - impressive enough to make some parents "ooh and aah" over them, but real easy to produce! :) Most of the party food and stuff is bought as of yesterday afternoon. Last night I spent an hour turning sour-lemon ball-type sweets into "dragon eyeballs" with white, red and black food paint. Today the major house-clean-up starts (it appears all 21 little Knights may have to party indoors, as there's a gigantic cold front on the way just in time for the party). I also have to print out dragon labels to close little brown bags that will contain sweets and cheap toys as prizes for the dragon/knight-related games, and take-home goodies.
So what's on the menu? Dragon eyeballs (see above), dragon scales and spit (Doritos with avo dip), dragon breath (candyfloss) and dragon poop (granola mixed with melted choc and made into little mounds, interspersed with choc-coated-biscuit balls). And a castle cake. It's going to be mid-afternoon so I'm not over-catering, something I tend to do every year.
We'll be playing: jousting (aim your sword at a ballon, run full speed at it and try pop it), dragon-knock (catties and ping-pong balls used to try knock over a dragon cut-out), fire-breathing (I've got a few chilies handy - the kid to finish the most without dying gets a prize), put-out-the-dragon (squirt water from a syringe toward the "mouth" of a dragon where a candle is burning and see who can put it out at the furthest distance). May have a few sword-fights too, but wouldn't want to send the young men home in tears... :)
I've set a time-limit of an hour for the party, though those who live nearby will probably hang around for a while after, or arrive way too early.
I'm looking forward to it! But am really going to need that day off on Monday. There's nothing like 21 11-year-olds to wear one out.
Training Pastors
(The following thoughts are unique to the situation here - elsewhere it's very different)
I'm worried. Very worried.
At the college where I work, one of the courses is the BA Theology degree - the precursor to pastoring in this denomination in South Africa. The only training centre for pastors in this church in Southern Africa!
It's a well-recognized degree, registered with the appropriate bodies and accredited overseas. We're churning out graduates every year - and yet many seem to not be making it out there once they're church-employed.
Some arrive fresh out of school and wanting to do something for God. Some come to study after years of other careers, feeling a call to pastor. Some are here having said, "God, if you get me out of this particular situation I'll go study Theology and work for you." (The latter are the ones that scare me the most!) Many have their passion killed while studying and come out the other end carbon-copies of a certain nearing-retirment pastor who teaches the "preaching" part, but hasn't served in a church for many, many years. As have most of the ageing lecturers.
Mention "emerging church" to this group of students and/or lecturers and you get blank stares. Mention "post-modernism" and there's not much response. Tell them there's another way to preach, or minister, or serve - run into a solid brick wall of non-comprehension.
It's not their fault. The church headquarters got a committee together to decide what they wanted their pastors to know when they'd done studying here, and the programme was planned from there. But there is no room for options, for different views other than the "official" one, and these guys are not exposed to the real-life culture they will shortly be asked to pastor. There's an emphasis on ancient languages and theoretical things with a bit of practical (preach now and then at a local church, do evangelism old-style or door-to-door in the holiday) thrown in for good measure.
What worries me is that these guys are going to run into problems literally the first day out. They're relating to church member's needs that died 50 years ago, and haven't been brought up to speed on some of the issues of today. They're going to become stressed, burn out, and many will quite probably leave the ministry for something else after a few years.
I'm worried for the church, for them. I wish I could shout a wake-up call out, point them in the direction of blogs, websites and books that could ease their passage into the future and help them truly make a difference in the communities they will serve. But I'm an unknown, out of the "professional" field of pastoring, don't know what I'm talking about. I can't be taken seriously, after all I've stepped out of the flock and refuse to be herded into a huddle.
So I worry.
I'm worried. Very worried.
At the college where I work, one of the courses is the BA Theology degree - the precursor to pastoring in this denomination in South Africa. The only training centre for pastors in this church in Southern Africa!
It's a well-recognized degree, registered with the appropriate bodies and accredited overseas. We're churning out graduates every year - and yet many seem to not be making it out there once they're church-employed.
Some arrive fresh out of school and wanting to do something for God. Some come to study after years of other careers, feeling a call to pastor. Some are here having said, "God, if you get me out of this particular situation I'll go study Theology and work for you." (The latter are the ones that scare me the most!) Many have their passion killed while studying and come out the other end carbon-copies of a certain nearing-retirment pastor who teaches the "preaching" part, but hasn't served in a church for many, many years. As have most of the ageing lecturers.
Mention "emerging church" to this group of students and/or lecturers and you get blank stares. Mention "post-modernism" and there's not much response. Tell them there's another way to preach, or minister, or serve - run into a solid brick wall of non-comprehension.
It's not their fault. The church headquarters got a committee together to decide what they wanted their pastors to know when they'd done studying here, and the programme was planned from there. But there is no room for options, for different views other than the "official" one, and these guys are not exposed to the real-life culture they will shortly be asked to pastor. There's an emphasis on ancient languages and theoretical things with a bit of practical (preach now and then at a local church, do evangelism old-style or door-to-door in the holiday) thrown in for good measure.
What worries me is that these guys are going to run into problems literally the first day out. They're relating to church member's needs that died 50 years ago, and haven't been brought up to speed on some of the issues of today. They're going to become stressed, burn out, and many will quite probably leave the ministry for something else after a few years.
I'm worried for the church, for them. I wish I could shout a wake-up call out, point them in the direction of blogs, websites and books that could ease their passage into the future and help them truly make a difference in the communities they will serve. But I'm an unknown, out of the "professional" field of pastoring, don't know what I'm talking about. I can't be taken seriously, after all I've stepped out of the flock and refuse to be herded into a huddle.
So I worry.
Unlikely Bible-Based Movies
My fave weird-stuff site, fark, has regular Photoshop competitions. The newest one is to create unlikely Bible-based movies. Click here if you dare! Some are just plain excellent (others a bit dodgy, but nevertheless...).
Road-Angels
I'm convinced God has assigned a legion of Road-Angels specifically to me. Both me and the "interesting" cars I've owned over the years:
They slow me down so that I avoid the guy turning without indicating in front of me, or the one pulling out past traffic to cross the road.
They hold the bonnet of the car down when I'm travelling at speed for an hour on the highway, after the guy at the garage didn't close it properly.
They keep the engine running until I reach a safe place, before it falls apart.
They help me make it to a petrol station before the tank empties completely without a whole lot of warning.
They keep the front wheel from falling off until I'm out of heavy traffic. Same with the gear-stick.
They protect me on the long road between here and Johannesburg, alone with a small child in a dodgy car that only miracles keep going.
They make the speeding drunk driver crash into a wall instead of me. They make sure that when I am in an accident my son is not with me, but safe with his grandparents. They prevent me being killed in the accident, and make sure I was wearing a seatbelt.
They shake their heads and place their protective arms around me as a young stupid me "dices" a friend at 3 in the morning on the highway, with no lights on, travelling 220km/hr in a borrowed car.
I do not have sufficient words of thanks for what God's angels have done to protect me. I'm sure they'll tell me of many times I didn't even know I was protected one day. For now I'm drawing up a list to ask what might have happened if they weren't there...
They slow me down so that I avoid the guy turning without indicating in front of me, or the one pulling out past traffic to cross the road.
They hold the bonnet of the car down when I'm travelling at speed for an hour on the highway, after the guy at the garage didn't close it properly.
They keep the engine running until I reach a safe place, before it falls apart.
They help me make it to a petrol station before the tank empties completely without a whole lot of warning.
They keep the front wheel from falling off until I'm out of heavy traffic. Same with the gear-stick.
They protect me on the long road between here and Johannesburg, alone with a small child in a dodgy car that only miracles keep going.
They make the speeding drunk driver crash into a wall instead of me. They make sure that when I am in an accident my son is not with me, but safe with his grandparents. They prevent me being killed in the accident, and make sure I was wearing a seatbelt.
They shake their heads and place their protective arms around me as a young stupid me "dices" a friend at 3 in the morning on the highway, with no lights on, travelling 220km/hr in a borrowed car.
I do not have sufficient words of thanks for what God's angels have done to protect me. I'm sure they'll tell me of many times I didn't even know I was protected one day. For now I'm drawing up a list to ask what might have happened if they weren't there...
Stillness
This is one heck of a busy week. I seem to be on non-stop rush mode since Thursday already, and it isn't going to let up until at least after the weekend. But with all the running and doing, it's essential for me make extra time for stillness.
I've blogged before on inner peace. That cool dark pool I draw on when stress and lack of time threaten my sanity.
And this week I find I have to conciously make time to refill my inner reserves so that I can haul them to the surface and not be overwhelmed.
Spending a little extra time with God, fully letting go when I close the office door, taking a few minutes outside in the garden after work, doing one thing daily that I love to do, planning tasks and events in advance, spending time with my son and my dogs, just sitting on the front verandah and watching the sun go down - these are the ways I stock up on stillness.
I don't always get it right. Those times I find myself ready to snap at my son for nothing, feeling run-down and tired, overwhelmed. And I make myself stop, take a breath and rediscover my still heart.
It's the only way I'm going to survive the next week.
I've blogged before on inner peace. That cool dark pool I draw on when stress and lack of time threaten my sanity.
And this week I find I have to conciously make time to refill my inner reserves so that I can haul them to the surface and not be overwhelmed.
Spending a little extra time with God, fully letting go when I close the office door, taking a few minutes outside in the garden after work, doing one thing daily that I love to do, planning tasks and events in advance, spending time with my son and my dogs, just sitting on the front verandah and watching the sun go down - these are the ways I stock up on stillness.
I don't always get it right. Those times I find myself ready to snap at my son for nothing, feeling run-down and tired, overwhelmed. And I make myself stop, take a breath and rediscover my still heart.
It's the only way I'm going to survive the next week.
Going back to church
This past weekend was my son's last school-church visit. It took place at the church where I spent most of my years, where my dad pastored for 6 of those years, where my membership still holds firm in the face of non-attendance. The church where I was hurt the most. (Yes, the one in this picture, nice enough as church bulidings go, though that big blue window gets a bit bright if you're near the back and trying to see the preacher)
It was the one church I wasn't looking forward to setting foot inside again. I haven't been there in over a year, and only attended last time because my mom was here from Australia and we went together.
Amazingly, it was a pretty positive experience! I didn't feel a dark cloud descend as I arrived, I got to chat to a few old friends, and sat close enough to the front to participate without watching others not do so. (I think I sang louder than anyone, but a lot were sitting silent so it wasn't hard to do. I was considering causing a riot by a spot of hand-raising, but thought better of it... :) )
Unfortunately though, I had just read the articles linked here on where church bulidings, pastors and the regular services came from... Which were amusing in a sad sorta way.
It's funny how something you read can colour your perceptions a little. Sometimes I wish I could share what I've learnt - but it would have to be a very long sharing, as it's built on a few years of growth and testing!
And yet I could also put aside where I'm at and see where everyone else was at. I could focus on the God-space and what the kids presented without getting internally aggro over stuff (except for the awful soundsystem...).
It was pretty cool! I'm over assuming everyone judges me. I'm over guilt for not doing this, or doing that. I'm resting in where God has me here and now and letting that be enough. It's a nice peaceful place. I really like it here.
Beliefs
Once I was a denomination. My beliefs had been carefully decided on by the Big Guys in the church, and listed in a nicely-ordered list of 27 fundamentals. If asked what I believed, I could hand the asker a nice colour brochure with each point supported by Bible verses and a picture of The Good Shepherd on the front. I didn't have to do any hard work on my beliefs. They were there, and all of us had them. Don't question, or you're not a True Sheep in This Flock.
But if you're not a denomination, it's not that easy. You gotta find beliefs for yourself and test them out to see if they're true for you, or just inherited / assumed. You have to dig through the Bible, through the thoughts of others, through your own heart, to discover what forms your beliefs.
If you've stepped out of a denomination, you may still have some of the same beliefs, but it may only be 12 instead of 27 of them that you agree with completely. You may have found others to add, and chucked a few of those if they didn't stand up to testing. Your beliefs may change dramatically over the course of a year, with just the few core ones surviving intact.
You might be tempted to borrow beliefs you know aren't solid, just because they look or feel good. You might wander a bit in unknown territory until you find a direction that your heart says yes to.
When someone asks what you believe it's no longer as simple as having a brochure handy. It takes a few hours to explain, especially if some of them aren't regularly-accepted thoughts. It may involve a few cups of coffee and some serious talk-time. And in the process you might find out that you've just lost or gained some more beliefs.
It isn't easy. It's a constant struggle! But it's better than blindly following. Especially in the long(eternal)-run!
But if you're not a denomination, it's not that easy. You gotta find beliefs for yourself and test them out to see if they're true for you, or just inherited / assumed. You have to dig through the Bible, through the thoughts of others, through your own heart, to discover what forms your beliefs.
If you've stepped out of a denomination, you may still have some of the same beliefs, but it may only be 12 instead of 27 of them that you agree with completely. You may have found others to add, and chucked a few of those if they didn't stand up to testing. Your beliefs may change dramatically over the course of a year, with just the few core ones surviving intact.
You might be tempted to borrow beliefs you know aren't solid, just because they look or feel good. You might wander a bit in unknown territory until you find a direction that your heart says yes to.
When someone asks what you believe it's no longer as simple as having a brochure handy. It takes a few hours to explain, especially if some of them aren't regularly-accepted thoughts. It may involve a few cups of coffee and some serious talk-time. And in the process you might find out that you've just lost or gained some more beliefs.
It isn't easy. It's a constant struggle! But it's better than blindly following. Especially in the long(eternal)-run!
Global Prayer
15 May 2005. Mark it on your calendar. That is the Global Day of Prayer.
It started in 2001 with a vision to host a city-wide day of prayer in Cape Town, a local gathering at a sports stadium. 45,000 people turned up. The event was televised locally and via satellite.
2002, and the Day of Prayer had spread to major cities across South Africa.
2003 saw Sub-Sahara Africa praying together, 172 stadiums and a good few hundred-thousands on their knees.
This year the entire continent, all 56 countries, 20 million known people (and many more unknown groups) were praying together, one prayer at an appointed time across the landmass, praying for forgiveness for the past, renewal for the present and hope for the future.
2005 will see this spread to the rest of the world. Who knows how many millions will join to pray!
"Can a nation be changed? Can a nation be turned back to you? We're on our knees, we're on our knees again...."
Perhaps you have no hope for your nation, or for the world. The wars, rumours of wars, strife and sickness have dragged you down into the Slough of Despond and you can't see light. Perhaps a few million prayers really can't change things and we're destined for a bleak future, prayer or not.
But maybe, just maybe this will truly make a difference. Even if it's just for you.
It started in 2001 with a vision to host a city-wide day of prayer in Cape Town, a local gathering at a sports stadium. 45,000 people turned up. The event was televised locally and via satellite.
2002, and the Day of Prayer had spread to major cities across South Africa.
2003 saw Sub-Sahara Africa praying together, 172 stadiums and a good few hundred-thousands on their knees.
This year the entire continent, all 56 countries, 20 million known people (and many more unknown groups) were praying together, one prayer at an appointed time across the landmass, praying for forgiveness for the past, renewal for the present and hope for the future.
2005 will see this spread to the rest of the world. Who knows how many millions will join to pray!
"Can a nation be changed? Can a nation be turned back to you? We're on our knees, we're on our knees again...."
Perhaps you have no hope for your nation, or for the world. The wars, rumours of wars, strife and sickness have dragged you down into the Slough of Despond and you can't see light. Perhaps a few million prayers really can't change things and we're destined for a bleak future, prayer or not.
But maybe, just maybe this will truly make a difference. Even if it's just for you.
How open is too open?
Been pondering - can you be so open to the Holy Spirit that you inadvertently let all sorts of unwanted spirits in?
Let's say you've been erring on the side of conservatism, and are skeptical of anything too "spirited". One day you get a glimpse of Spirit-filling, and open the door a crack to let the Spirit work. It goes pretty well, so you decide to be completely open from now on, and see all sorts of things happening in your life. You get more and more "spirit-filled" as time goes on, opening that heart-door more and more, absorbing what comes along ... but suddenly the heart-door is so open that you absorb ANYTHING that comes along! God-spirit or otherwise, perhaps you lose the ability to tell the difference between what's purely God and what's a bit on the suspect side, emotion-driven or leader-initiated perhaps.
Possible? Can one be too open? It is perhaps better to be a little reluctant, to test things before absorbing them or letting your emotions / the leader carry you off?
I ask because I've seen things happen in a certain church (which scared the heck out of me) that were "a" spirit at work, but not God's! Those who were all for it and completely involved were taken over, but those who sat skeptically felt a dark spirit at work that had nothing to do with God. It seemed pretty easy to be confused... these were church-going folk who really got into things when the service heated up. The line between light and dark was very misty.
Maybe that's why I'm not as open to spirit-manifestations as I could be. I don't feel I yet have the strength in God to discern what's right and what's not.
Thoughts?
Let's say you've been erring on the side of conservatism, and are skeptical of anything too "spirited". One day you get a glimpse of Spirit-filling, and open the door a crack to let the Spirit work. It goes pretty well, so you decide to be completely open from now on, and see all sorts of things happening in your life. You get more and more "spirit-filled" as time goes on, opening that heart-door more and more, absorbing what comes along ... but suddenly the heart-door is so open that you absorb ANYTHING that comes along! God-spirit or otherwise, perhaps you lose the ability to tell the difference between what's purely God and what's a bit on the suspect side, emotion-driven or leader-initiated perhaps.
Possible? Can one be too open? It is perhaps better to be a little reluctant, to test things before absorbing them or letting your emotions / the leader carry you off?
I ask because I've seen things happen in a certain church (which scared the heck out of me) that were "a" spirit at work, but not God's! Those who were all for it and completely involved were taken over, but those who sat skeptically felt a dark spirit at work that had nothing to do with God. It seemed pretty easy to be confused... these were church-going folk who really got into things when the service heated up. The line between light and dark was very misty.
Maybe that's why I'm not as open to spirit-manifestations as I could be. I don't feel I yet have the strength in God to discern what's right and what's not.
Thoughts?
Church-hopping, Belonging and Being Born
After a recent post on Family Church, I got thinking about what makes you "fit" in a church group, what it is that lets you know you're home.
One way to belong is to be born into the group, grow up there and never go anywhere else. That would make for a family church if ever there was one! And in some cases it may be the only way to really belong. The adults are all "aunts and uncles", "grandparents" - you've played with the other kids under the pews since you could crawl. The pastor knows when you cut your first tooth and who your best friends are. You've got more surrogate parents than you can count.
Which is all good and well if you're completely happy there, and have no need of anything other than what this group provides.
But who has ever heard of a teen who didn't want to rebel against what they know, where they're safe, just to see what's out there?
Step out once or twice, and things change. You come back seeing and thinking differently, people treat you differently. Things that you were content with suddenly may not seem so grand. You're no longer a perfect fit. You still belong, but feel as if there's a gap now.
What if you aren't born into the "right" group, a family of believers who love you unconditionally and are "perfect"? What if you never really belonged anywhere? What if you're new to faith and God, and the only one in your family who is seeklng Him?
Church-hopping certainly doesn't help. Chasing that elusive something from group to group without settling in for a while and building relationships. Never giving a chance for the "feel" of the group to sink in, nor truly becoming a part of what's going on.
But if you feel a hint of it on the first try, if you catch a glimpse of what your soul longs for, then stick around, make a committment to be there long enough to get to know the people, to let them accept you and love you and get to know your in's and out's. Don't panic and run when people start getting close to you. Let them in, let yourself in to them too.
And if you do, you will find family in any group of God-lovers who are willing to show Him openly and generously.
One way to belong is to be born into the group, grow up there and never go anywhere else. That would make for a family church if ever there was one! And in some cases it may be the only way to really belong. The adults are all "aunts and uncles", "grandparents" - you've played with the other kids under the pews since you could crawl. The pastor knows when you cut your first tooth and who your best friends are. You've got more surrogate parents than you can count.
Which is all good and well if you're completely happy there, and have no need of anything other than what this group provides.
But who has ever heard of a teen who didn't want to rebel against what they know, where they're safe, just to see what's out there?
Step out once or twice, and things change. You come back seeing and thinking differently, people treat you differently. Things that you were content with suddenly may not seem so grand. You're no longer a perfect fit. You still belong, but feel as if there's a gap now.
What if you aren't born into the "right" group, a family of believers who love you unconditionally and are "perfect"? What if you never really belonged anywhere? What if you're new to faith and God, and the only one in your family who is seeklng Him?
Church-hopping certainly doesn't help. Chasing that elusive something from group to group without settling in for a while and building relationships. Never giving a chance for the "feel" of the group to sink in, nor truly becoming a part of what's going on.
But if you feel a hint of it on the first try, if you catch a glimpse of what your soul longs for, then stick around, make a committment to be there long enough to get to know the people, to let them accept you and love you and get to know your in's and out's. Don't panic and run when people start getting close to you. Let them in, let yourself in to them too.
And if you do, you will find family in any group of God-lovers who are willing to show Him openly and generously.
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