Did I say I was a blog addict, or what? :) Here it is, only half an hour after arriving home and I'm at it already.
And what a trip it's been. We're safe and sound, but that took some doing.
For starters, I was half-awake most of the night before we left, so got up extra-early, finished off the things that needed doing, and by 7:45 we were off to the airport to book in well in advance for our 11:15 flight. Which we did - only to be informed it was now delayed, and would leave at 1:30! Toddled around, keeping ourselves amused the entire morning...
Anyone who has booked connecting flights knows what a delay like that can do when you have an in-transit other booking to run for. I managed to get hold of my brother to let my dad know we may miss our KL/Syd connection, and had been double-booked on one leaving at 8pm the next day (instead of 10am)just in case. When we were finally in the air, further delays threw the schedule even farther off, and that leg from Johannesburg to KL was spent anxiously watching the "expected time of arrival". I had obtained boarding passes before our first flight, so all that was needed was a mad rush to the boarding gate (in a strange airport) on arrival.
Fortunately, we arrived within an hour of the next one leaving, and managed to make sense of the many, constantly-scrolling screens of info at KL - to find our next flight parked right alongside the one we'd just exited. Thank goodness!
Oh, we'd booked window seats all the way, and it's just my luck that our row was the ONLY one on the plane whose window had been boarded up for cable space or something. DARN. Spent the flight craning my neck through other folk's windows.
So - Malaysia. Been there, done that, and all I can say is that it has a hell of a lot of palm trees and a too-quiet airport. And the sky is an overall shade of murky grey all the time. Sorry MC - perhaps there's more beyond the airport bounds and on better days! :)
Unfortunately, that long-haul trip from SAfrica to KL had started off a round of motion-sickness with my son. He started throwing up near the end of the flight, and carried on from there on out. He's currently got a well-positioned bucket next to his bed, and still hasn't had anything to eat or drink that will stay down today. 7 Airsick Bags and counting.... Hoping the {expensive here!} Coke bought on the way home will help.
Well, KL to Sydney boarded OK, then had ANOTHER wait while 5 other planes took off, and they looked for the inevitable missing passengers. We left half an hour late. THIS time I had a good view of where we were headed, and while my son dozed and hurled next to me I got a fantastic look at the shipping lanes between Singapore & Malaysia (anyone who says "pristine anything" within a hundred miles of those awful, polluting tankers is lying...), islands all the way down to Jakarta, and then the coast of Australia finally hove into sight, somewhere between Broome and some other godforsaken northern territory town. Port Headland perhaps? Something like that. Anyway, I was so eager to see the desert from the air. It's a place I've always wanted to visit, and my preview from above has got my feet all the more itchy to go exploring (with much water in reserve). However, after 1/2 an hour we came across a complete white-out of cloud, from ground to 38,000ft, which lasted the ENTIRE remainder of the trip! Funny, but it's epicentre was directly over Uluru, swirling in a gigantic circle. Perhaps the local gods didn't want me looking into their business? Who would have thought one cloud system could blank out an entire continent so completely...
We made it through customs and passports, only to find ourselves deserted at the airport, not a friendly face in sight. A quick call with my first Aussie 50c piece indicated dad & mom were just outside, dad having reckoned on a longer trip through immigration. We all piled into his fancy Ford (we're not in the third world no more!) and clung on for dear life as he sped and playfully side-swiped the other drivers all the way home - a hair-raising 25km. Perhaps I'm not used to the awfully-narrow, twisting Sydney roads, and have forgotten that dad's driving gets worse as his grey hairs increase, but it was an "exilirating" end to our cross-world adventure - this stage at least.
So here we are, ensconced in the parent's house, with towels and Ferrero Roche's waiting on our beds, Dory the galah remembering how nice I was to him, and FishBone the cat getting to know a new leg to lie on at night. Mom's hands are completely swollen and awfully painful from chemo, bruised and burned from the inside, but her test results seem to be cautiously OK. Dad's his usual self - straight in the front door to the TV to check on the cricket score. And J's feeling better.
Onwards and upwards! Sydney, here we come.
Last South African Post & Shabbat Shalom
I'm in a total rush today, with everything that needs doing at work before I leave at 1, and then at home to be ready to leave early tomorrow morning. Thank goodness yesterday's public holiday gave me some time to get a bit of last-minute shopping and most of the cleaning done! Just the packing and a walk-thru for the dog-carers left.
The next time I will post here will be from Australia - probably on Sunday morning.
So with that - Shabbat Shalom, and see you on the other side! :)
The next time I will post here will be from Australia - probably on Sunday morning.
So with that - Shabbat Shalom, and see you on the other side! :)
Stewardship
Was pondering stewardship on the way down the hill after lunch. You see, salaries here were not paid on time this month (thank goodness I arranged for mine to be done early!) because of a bit of a slip-up in transfering covering funds. A lot of the staff are panicking, as if they were about to starve or the world were caving in.
And perhaps for some it is.
You see, a lot of people live salary to salary, buying themselves into debt, living on the edge and never planning well in advance. Some are near retiring and can't afford not to work. Many are think (maybe without realizing it) "well, the world's about to end so why store up treasures on earth", and they don't. They don't even store things up until a few months from now.
Which makes me wonder where stewardship comes into things.
As Christians, we're taught to be "good stewards", but how many of us put that into daily practice? How many of us (Christian and not) do any kind of management of what we have? Cash is only one aspect, but the one I'm thinking of here. We live on the edge, spending indiscriminately on things to give us pleasure, or getting into debt because we simply MUST have that new house/car/whatever - right down to the small impulsive buys of a bar of chocolate or new shoes or a meal out.
We're not being good stewards of our finances, and that's only the beginning.
On the way back from lunch I passed a tin can, a KFC bag, a piece of styrofoam, a tissue and a few chip packets lying next to the road. There goes the stewardship of the environment too! (A whole other, lengthy post - not for this afternoon)
I picked up an interesting thought from someone in blogland this week about Christians trying to help the environment, but then requiring church members to drive to the church for events many times a week - and in the process adding to the pollution from cars! Never thought of that one...!
I wonder how many folk would take kindly to an offer of stewardship help (not from me, but from one who knows what it's all about). Or if they'd see it as interfering in their matters, being nosey. True, many folk need it desperately! But I doubt they'd take up the offer. They are not only stuck in a paycheque to paycheque existence, but actually like it.
I'm not one to preach, we've had a few harsh years where that cash on payday was a monthly lifesaver. But it's something I'm thinking about, in line with my desire to Do Good to those around me, to help where I can - and even where I think I can't.
Stewardship is a bigger word than you'd imagine.
And perhaps for some it is.
You see, a lot of people live salary to salary, buying themselves into debt, living on the edge and never planning well in advance. Some are near retiring and can't afford not to work. Many are think (maybe without realizing it) "well, the world's about to end so why store up treasures on earth", and they don't. They don't even store things up until a few months from now.
Which makes me wonder where stewardship comes into things.
As Christians, we're taught to be "good stewards", but how many of us put that into daily practice? How many of us (Christian and not) do any kind of management of what we have? Cash is only one aspect, but the one I'm thinking of here. We live on the edge, spending indiscriminately on things to give us pleasure, or getting into debt because we simply MUST have that new house/car/whatever - right down to the small impulsive buys of a bar of chocolate or new shoes or a meal out.
We're not being good stewards of our finances, and that's only the beginning.
On the way back from lunch I passed a tin can, a KFC bag, a piece of styrofoam, a tissue and a few chip packets lying next to the road. There goes the stewardship of the environment too! (A whole other, lengthy post - not for this afternoon)
I picked up an interesting thought from someone in blogland this week about Christians trying to help the environment, but then requiring church members to drive to the church for events many times a week - and in the process adding to the pollution from cars! Never thought of that one...!
I wonder how many folk would take kindly to an offer of stewardship help (not from me, but from one who knows what it's all about). Or if they'd see it as interfering in their matters, being nosey. True, many folk need it desperately! But I doubt they'd take up the offer. They are not only stuck in a paycheque to paycheque existence, but actually like it.
I'm not one to preach, we've had a few harsh years where that cash on payday was a monthly lifesaver. But it's something I'm thinking about, in line with my desire to Do Good to those around me, to help where I can - and even where I think I can't.
Stewardship is a bigger word than you'd imagine.
Vague Dis-ease
Ever had one of those days where it feels like something's seriously wrong, but you don't know what it is? Well, I'm having one - again. They come by regularly, every few months.
I thought at first it might be that my boss wanted to "talk to me" and wasn't looking happy. I suspected a crapping out over something or other, but it turned out he wanted some adjustments to a document before we went to print, and the reason he's not looking happy is that he's coming down with something.
Then I thought it might be that I'm also coming down with something, just in time for my holiday. Which may be true - and I'm going to zap it with ViralChoice as soon as I can get to the shops.
Then I thought it was trying to work with a class that was clueless during their last lesson with me, with an internet connection that refused to work while we all had to try upload our sites. That could have been a major contributor, but in realitiy it's not that big a deal. We're all kinda out of it at the moment.
Then I thought it might just be one of those days where you're not quite with it and everything is coloured through a semi-headache haze. Which could be very true.
But as much as I explore the options, I'm still sitting with this sense that something's wrong. Paranoia? Perhaps. Too much to do before we leave? Most probably. Not in the mood to take crap at work? Of course.
Hoping a good lunch will fix some of it, as well as a sneak into the chocolate box (which I must empty before we leave!).
Until then, blogging is gonna have to take a back seat. Before I bore everyone to tears or chase them away from further visits to this little corner of cyberspace.
I thought at first it might be that my boss wanted to "talk to me" and wasn't looking happy. I suspected a crapping out over something or other, but it turned out he wanted some adjustments to a document before we went to print, and the reason he's not looking happy is that he's coming down with something.
Then I thought it might be that I'm also coming down with something, just in time for my holiday. Which may be true - and I'm going to zap it with ViralChoice as soon as I can get to the shops.
Then I thought it was trying to work with a class that was clueless during their last lesson with me, with an internet connection that refused to work while we all had to try upload our sites. That could have been a major contributor, but in realitiy it's not that big a deal. We're all kinda out of it at the moment.
Then I thought it might just be one of those days where you're not quite with it and everything is coloured through a semi-headache haze. Which could be very true.
But as much as I explore the options, I'm still sitting with this sense that something's wrong. Paranoia? Perhaps. Too much to do before we leave? Most probably. Not in the mood to take crap at work? Of course.
Hoping a good lunch will fix some of it, as well as a sneak into the chocolate box (which I must empty before we leave!).
Until then, blogging is gonna have to take a back seat. Before I bore everyone to tears or chase them away from further visits to this little corner of cyberspace.
Making a Difference
Been giving a lot of thought lately to living out what I believe. Instead of just pitching for a meeting/s weekly, then not doing anything different during the rest of the week.
While thinking, I opened up a book where I'd written my plan for Serenity Farm, and realized it's still what I'd love to be doing. It combines all that I am passionate about and all that I wish to give into one package, one lifestyle. Perhaps details may change as I grow and learn, but the basics are there.
However, there's no use waiting until I have my property and my structure before helping others.
It's pretty easy to make excuses - I don't have the resources, I haven't formed a base for the plan yet, I can't work with what I have. Which is all nonsense. One can ALWAYS do something, even if it's not the Grand Plan but rather something small and seemingly insignificant to you, but BIG to someone else.
Like taking that homeless guy scratching through the dirtbins for his supper to the nearest restaurant, sitting him down and feeding him until he's eaten enough, hearing his story and just being present. Even if he "smells funny" or is staggeringly drunk.
Or dropping a small note of encouragement into someone's postbox when you see them having a bad day - without adding your name to it.
Mowing the neighbour's lawn while they're out.
Giving the best jacket you have, the one you're wearing, to the street kid shivering outside your car window.
There's plenty out there to do, so many ways to make a difference. But we spend our time going to church and then asking any beggers to leave us alone as we step out the door.
I was in the mall on Friday afternoon, chatting to two folk, when a lady came by to ask for cash help. They turned to her and told her to get lost and leave them alone, without even hearing what she was asking. It's rare for a begger to frequent the mall - perhaps this lady was very much in need. We looked affluent enough, flashing our wallets around and carrying bags of groceries.
After she left I beat myself up for not stopping her and asking what I could do to help her. You know that saying of "angels in disguise"? Could this be a test of faith that we'd all just failed?
I know there are those who would take a gap and bleed you dry if you let them - but there are many who are in genuine need of help, whether it be financial, spiritual, emotional, or even something as small as a smile, a hug, a touch to say "hey, I see you, and you matter".
I want to be more aware of my fellow God-created humans. I want to give generously and not horde. I want to say Yes when God says Now. Without judging, without questioning, without hesitating. I'm working on it, but it isn't easy.
While thinking, I opened up a book where I'd written my plan for Serenity Farm, and realized it's still what I'd love to be doing. It combines all that I am passionate about and all that I wish to give into one package, one lifestyle. Perhaps details may change as I grow and learn, but the basics are there.
However, there's no use waiting until I have my property and my structure before helping others.
It's pretty easy to make excuses - I don't have the resources, I haven't formed a base for the plan yet, I can't work with what I have. Which is all nonsense. One can ALWAYS do something, even if it's not the Grand Plan but rather something small and seemingly insignificant to you, but BIG to someone else.
Like taking that homeless guy scratching through the dirtbins for his supper to the nearest restaurant, sitting him down and feeding him until he's eaten enough, hearing his story and just being present. Even if he "smells funny" or is staggeringly drunk.
Or dropping a small note of encouragement into someone's postbox when you see them having a bad day - without adding your name to it.
Mowing the neighbour's lawn while they're out.
Giving the best jacket you have, the one you're wearing, to the street kid shivering outside your car window.
There's plenty out there to do, so many ways to make a difference. But we spend our time going to church and then asking any beggers to leave us alone as we step out the door.
I was in the mall on Friday afternoon, chatting to two folk, when a lady came by to ask for cash help. They turned to her and told her to get lost and leave them alone, without even hearing what she was asking. It's rare for a begger to frequent the mall - perhaps this lady was very much in need. We looked affluent enough, flashing our wallets around and carrying bags of groceries.
After she left I beat myself up for not stopping her and asking what I could do to help her. You know that saying of "angels in disguise"? Could this be a test of faith that we'd all just failed?
I know there are those who would take a gap and bleed you dry if you let them - but there are many who are in genuine need of help, whether it be financial, spiritual, emotional, or even something as small as a smile, a hug, a touch to say "hey, I see you, and you matter".
I want to be more aware of my fellow God-created humans. I want to give generously and not horde. I want to say Yes when God says Now. Without judging, without questioning, without hesitating. I'm working on it, but it isn't easy.
Let the nightmares begin!
So in exactly 4 days and 10 minutes we should be taking off on our adventure to Australia! See, we're down to counting minutes already...
But with much to do and much to remember, the bad dreams have kicked in. You know the type - they lose the luggage, or steal the contents, or you miss the flight, or can't get there in time to book in, or the airport is huge and complicated and all the "in" doors are really "out" doors so you can't enter, or you keep beeping when you go through security...
Yup, the horror show began in the early hours of this morning, resulting in a rather pained tired expression on this face today. But one good thing came out of it - I remembered something I need to check at the airport before we depart, and added it to my list when I finally got up.
Strange how sometimes your mind sifts through things in the dreams, and comes up with answers for you. It's happened often that I've gone to bed in confusion and woken up enlightened. So perhaps these nightmares serve a purpose, directing me toward an easier journey after having "lived" the bad bits that are unlikely to happen.
But with much to do and much to remember, the bad dreams have kicked in. You know the type - they lose the luggage, or steal the contents, or you miss the flight, or can't get there in time to book in, or the airport is huge and complicated and all the "in" doors are really "out" doors so you can't enter, or you keep beeping when you go through security...
Yup, the horror show began in the early hours of this morning, resulting in a rather pained tired expression on this face today. But one good thing came out of it - I remembered something I need to check at the airport before we depart, and added it to my list when I finally got up.
Strange how sometimes your mind sifts through things in the dreams, and comes up with answers for you. It's happened often that I've gone to bed in confusion and woken up enlightened. So perhaps these nightmares serve a purpose, directing me toward an easier journey after having "lived" the bad bits that are unlikely to happen.
I will - and I have!
'Tis done. I have a will, albeit a simple one. And learnt a few things in the process.
It's either closed-mindedness on the will-maker's part, or a serious legal restriction, but it seems that one cannot just put what one likes in a will. For instance, appointing two secondary guardians was greeted with surprise (not sure we can do that!), but finally added. Sole heirs are not what you might imagine, and sorting out who sells/claims what is another big issue.
But it's done. And I can drive my crummy Ford in peace now, knowing that should it explode, and should my son fortunately not be inside when it does, he will be taken care of.
---
As an aside - blogging really DOES change one's life. Every experience leads to immediate consideration of how one is going to blog it... :)
It's either closed-mindedness on the will-maker's part, or a serious legal restriction, but it seems that one cannot just put what one likes in a will. For instance, appointing two secondary guardians was greeted with surprise (not sure we can do that!), but finally added. Sole heirs are not what you might imagine, and sorting out who sells/claims what is another big issue.
But it's done. And I can drive my crummy Ford in peace now, knowing that should it explode, and should my son fortunately not be inside when it does, he will be taken care of.
---
As an aside - blogging really DOES change one's life. Every experience leads to immediate consideration of how one is going to blog it... :)
Unexpected Visitor
In the middle of hanging up the first of many loads of washing yesterday, a vaguely-familiar man turned up at my gate, asking if I were Michelle. Well, of course I am. Turns out he's my son's dad's brother Garth! Have only met him once, about 12 years ago, but he was in the area and wanted to drop off a gigantic late-Christmas present to my son from his dad!!!
Invited him in to my horribly messy house, and we had a good chat for half an hour. Jason came home (was watching a movie elsewhere) and met the uncle he didn't know he had. He opened his present to find a big, big box of robotic lego stuff - things to build and a way to programme them by computer to do stuff. Very, very cool and a spot-on gift. Included was a photo of his dad, taken at age 10/11 - same age as my son - at a Christmas party.
In spite of past history, the visit went off very well, and we had a good time getting acquainted - we didn't really get to know each other years back.
I'm glad my son's dad did this - it shows that he does care, even though he's never met the kid, and that they have quite a bit in common (his dad is a computer guy, and J is very into computer stuff). If it wasn't for a rather jealous wife, we could probably be good friends from a distance.
In the past my greatest fear was that the guy would turn up and try take J away from me. When he migrated to America and married it was a huge relief - there are few wives who would encourage a child take-over instead of rather producing their own, and America is sufficiently distant to avoid sudden appearances. Now we seem to be buidling a tentative relationship with the "other side" of the family, one which is probably a good idea for my son. His "other" gran was an orphan and Garth mentioned yesterday that the kids often wondered about her side of the family - things like hereditary baldness and health issues, as well as wondering who the people were. I don't want J to have to wonder too much. I'd like him to know where he comes from and what his history is.
All of which could be a bit late if a job opportunity in Australia arises...
Invited him in to my horribly messy house, and we had a good chat for half an hour. Jason came home (was watching a movie elsewhere) and met the uncle he didn't know he had. He opened his present to find a big, big box of robotic lego stuff - things to build and a way to programme them by computer to do stuff. Very, very cool and a spot-on gift. Included was a photo of his dad, taken at age 10/11 - same age as my son - at a Christmas party.
In spite of past history, the visit went off very well, and we had a good time getting acquainted - we didn't really get to know each other years back.
I'm glad my son's dad did this - it shows that he does care, even though he's never met the kid, and that they have quite a bit in common (his dad is a computer guy, and J is very into computer stuff). If it wasn't for a rather jealous wife, we could probably be good friends from a distance.
In the past my greatest fear was that the guy would turn up and try take J away from me. When he migrated to America and married it was a huge relief - there are few wives who would encourage a child take-over instead of rather producing their own, and America is sufficiently distant to avoid sudden appearances. Now we seem to be buidling a tentative relationship with the "other side" of the family, one which is probably a good idea for my son. His "other" gran was an orphan and Garth mentioned yesterday that the kids often wondered about her side of the family - things like hereditary baldness and health issues, as well as wondering who the people were. I don't want J to have to wonder too much. I'd like him to know where he comes from and what his history is.
All of which could be a bit late if a job opportunity in Australia arises...
Shabbat Shalom
As another cold front ushers in another weekend, and as life seems to speed up, this is the image in the back of my mind. The silence of early morning mist, the first rays of sunshine peering through. Peace, serenity (yup, STILL seeking it!) and a chance to simply breathe.
May you find your lungs filled with sweet fresh air, literally or figuratively, this weekend.
May you find your lungs filled with sweet fresh air, literally or figuratively, this weekend.
I will
I'm finally getting a will drawn up - and it's about jolly time too. As a single mom, it's something rather essential. If I die without one my son's a ward of the state. Yet somewhere in the back of my mind lingers a notion that if you don't have a will nothing bad will happen. Strange, isn't it?
In the process of doing this, I've approached my brothers and parents regarding guardianship of my son. One brother says "no problem, that's what family is for", parents say "we'd be glad to" and other brother says "you shouldn't spring this on us without warning, but for now we'll say yes". Trouble is, there was warning in the form of a chat over lunch months ago, but that seems to have been forgotten. Oh well.
I'm setting it up that my parents are primary guardians, and if they are absolutely unable to then it falls to the brothers. So it's highly unlikely the brothers would have to do anything - and hopefully highly unlikely anyone else would either.
The rest of the will I'm somewhat clueless about though. What do I do with all my stuff? Do I leave it all to the boy (especially my sapphire and gold ring, and the piano), under care of someone, or do I just say "take what you want, except for the ring and piano"? Dunno.
There are suggestions of a "pull the plug if I'm too far gone" clause, and things like organ donation or similar. I don't even know how to head in that direction though. Some put in what they want at their funeral. Cremation or burial. White doves released and happy songs sung, or whatever. Heck, I don't know what I'd want!
Maybe I haven't given enough thought to the contents of this will, but at least we'll have the basics down on Monday morning and I can drive/walk/fly/sleep/bath/eat/dance in peace.
In the process of doing this, I've approached my brothers and parents regarding guardianship of my son. One brother says "no problem, that's what family is for", parents say "we'd be glad to" and other brother says "you shouldn't spring this on us without warning, but for now we'll say yes". Trouble is, there was warning in the form of a chat over lunch months ago, but that seems to have been forgotten. Oh well.
I'm setting it up that my parents are primary guardians, and if they are absolutely unable to then it falls to the brothers. So it's highly unlikely the brothers would have to do anything - and hopefully highly unlikely anyone else would either.
The rest of the will I'm somewhat clueless about though. What do I do with all my stuff? Do I leave it all to the boy (especially my sapphire and gold ring, and the piano), under care of someone, or do I just say "take what you want, except for the ring and piano"? Dunno.
There are suggestions of a "pull the plug if I'm too far gone" clause, and things like organ donation or similar. I don't even know how to head in that direction though. Some put in what they want at their funeral. Cremation or burial. White doves released and happy songs sung, or whatever. Heck, I don't know what I'd want!
Maybe I haven't given enough thought to the contents of this will, but at least we'll have the basics down on Monday morning and I can drive/walk/fly/sleep/bath/eat/dance in peace.
Attics and Family Trees
My son has a school computer project, in which he needs to construct a family tree. Not knowing much beyond his dad's and "other" gran's names, he's stuck with my side of the tree, and had to go back just as far as my parents.
My mom took down as much as her mom and my dad's mom could remember of our ancestry a few years ago, and it holds some fascinating stuff.
For instance, one of my ancestors was the Burgoyne (mom's maiden name) that managed to lose the battle of Saratoga. Many of that line were seafaring chaps, leading me to wonder what kind of mixed blood we may possess after the women in every port tradition.... On the Bainbridge side (dad's), there's rumours of a link to the surname Green and a castle in Cornwall - if only someone had decided to leave it to me! :)
I find it fascinating to delve into one's family history and discover the stories of the ancients. You never know what you'll turn up that somehow shows itself in your personality or looks! For instance, I'm the only one with blue eyes on both sides of the family, back up to a single great-great-grandfather. Yeah, I know - recessive gene and all that, but one can't help one's DNA.
Here in South Africa attics are not commonplace. We read about them in American stories mostly. But I've always wished we had one - an attic in an old family home, piled high with the relics of the past. Exploring it would be a bit like unravelling the family tree, dusting off the branches and diving into the past. That would be too cool to do!
Jen wrote recently about remembering where you came from, your roots and what had made you who you are today. Perhaps discovering your family tree has something to do with that.
Or perhaps, more simply, it's just taking time to remember the real you that all to often wears a tarnished veneer as life rushes by.
My mom took down as much as her mom and my dad's mom could remember of our ancestry a few years ago, and it holds some fascinating stuff.
For instance, one of my ancestors was the Burgoyne (mom's maiden name) that managed to lose the battle of Saratoga. Many of that line were seafaring chaps, leading me to wonder what kind of mixed blood we may possess after the women in every port tradition.... On the Bainbridge side (dad's), there's rumours of a link to the surname Green and a castle in Cornwall - if only someone had decided to leave it to me! :)
I find it fascinating to delve into one's family history and discover the stories of the ancients. You never know what you'll turn up that somehow shows itself in your personality or looks! For instance, I'm the only one with blue eyes on both sides of the family, back up to a single great-great-grandfather. Yeah, I know - recessive gene and all that, but one can't help one's DNA.
Here in South Africa attics are not commonplace. We read about them in American stories mostly. But I've always wished we had one - an attic in an old family home, piled high with the relics of the past. Exploring it would be a bit like unravelling the family tree, dusting off the branches and diving into the past. That would be too cool to do!
Jen wrote recently about remembering where you came from, your roots and what had made you who you are today. Perhaps discovering your family tree has something to do with that.
Or perhaps, more simply, it's just taking time to remember the real you that all to often wears a tarnished veneer as life rushes by.
Car Trouble
Miami - Fed up with his troublesome car, a Florida man fired five rounds from a semi-automatic pistol into the hood of the 1994 Chrysler LeBaron.
"I'm putting my car out of its misery," 64-year-old John McGivney said after the incident outside an apartment building in Lauderdale-By-The-Sea, according to a police report that listed the car as "deceased".
McGivney surrendered to police, was jailed on a firearms charge on Friday and released on bond a day later. He told them the car had been giving him trouble for years.
"I think every guy in the universe has wanted to do it," the South Florida Sun-Sentinel on Wednesday quoted McGivney as saying. "It was worth every damn minute in that jail."
Love it! :)
"I'm putting my car out of its misery," 64-year-old John McGivney said after the incident outside an apartment building in Lauderdale-By-The-Sea, according to a police report that listed the car as "deceased".
McGivney surrendered to police, was jailed on a firearms charge on Friday and released on bond a day later. He told them the car had been giving him trouble for years.
"I think every guy in the universe has wanted to do it," the South Florida Sun-Sentinel on Wednesday quoted McGivney as saying. "It was worth every damn minute in that jail."
Love it! :)
Where there's smoke
With winter creeping up (no, make that barging in and slamming the door on autumn!), I'm getting into hibernation mode, and craving all those wintery things like chocolate, and velvety furry blankets, and my authentic Australian sheepskin slippers, and the rain pouring down windows, and soup for supper.
And a fireplace. 'Cept I don't have one!
We used to have one, in the house we all inhabited just before the parents moved to Australia. There was nothing better than lighting up a pile of logs in the evening and letting dusk fall while the fire glowed. Even if it left a pile of grey ash and a smokey smell in the house the next day.
Sometimes we'd toast a marshmallow or our toes near the flames. Most times we just sat and watched the light dance in reds, yellows and little flashes of blue. The smell of pine or gum, the little popping noises as bark (and various unfortunate insects) exploded, the shudder of a falling log.
Now THAT's what winter's all about!
It's something I miss intensely in my little flat. Even if it meant giving up a couch space to make room for a fireplace, I wouldn't complain. Granted, our place is so small that a single log would have us sweating... The dogs would likely take over the best spots and growly-bite if we tried to move them. But evenings would see the TV off and the fire on, instead of us huddled around a one-bar heater ogling the magic box of lies.
There's something primeval about fire. One can imagine stone-age man and his tribe warming their calloused hands and roasting their meat, talking over the day's hunt or tomorrow's migration. It fascinates us. It draws us in. Boys (and many girls) the world over can't resist setting fire to things just to watch the burn.
I understand that many cities have banned wood fireplaces. It's sad. Not having a fireplace is the worst thing that can happen to a home. It's a centering place, a gathering place, a place to lose one's thoughts in glow and warmth. I can well understand why ancient folk hauled their hearthstones wherever they went, as a symbol of unity and family and home.
That, to me is what a fireplace is all about. And one of these days - the next time I need to move house - I want one!
And a fireplace. 'Cept I don't have one!
We used to have one, in the house we all inhabited just before the parents moved to Australia. There was nothing better than lighting up a pile of logs in the evening and letting dusk fall while the fire glowed. Even if it left a pile of grey ash and a smokey smell in the house the next day.
Sometimes we'd toast a marshmallow or our toes near the flames. Most times we just sat and watched the light dance in reds, yellows and little flashes of blue. The smell of pine or gum, the little popping noises as bark (and various unfortunate insects) exploded, the shudder of a falling log.
Now THAT's what winter's all about!
It's something I miss intensely in my little flat. Even if it meant giving up a couch space to make room for a fireplace, I wouldn't complain. Granted, our place is so small that a single log would have us sweating... The dogs would likely take over the best spots and growly-bite if we tried to move them. But evenings would see the TV off and the fire on, instead of us huddled around a one-bar heater ogling the magic box of lies.
There's something primeval about fire. One can imagine stone-age man and his tribe warming their calloused hands and roasting their meat, talking over the day's hunt or tomorrow's migration. It fascinates us. It draws us in. Boys (and many girls) the world over can't resist setting fire to things just to watch the burn.
I understand that many cities have banned wood fireplaces. It's sad. Not having a fireplace is the worst thing that can happen to a home. It's a centering place, a gathering place, a place to lose one's thoughts in glow and warmth. I can well understand why ancient folk hauled their hearthstones wherever they went, as a symbol of unity and family and home.
That, to me is what a fireplace is all about. And one of these days - the next time I need to move house - I want one!
Rifts
I can see a rift forming that I'm not sure will be fixable. It's a difference of opinion between me and some folk close to me regarding religion. Not a disgreement on doctrine or any fiddly Biblical bits, but one over what "church" is and loyalty to such church.
It's like we're facing two completely different directions. I'm looking outward, they're looking inward. I see church as who you are, they see church as where you are. I see a harvest out there requiring getting your hands dirty, they see the barn they're trying to attract the harvest to. I'm no longer answering to a church authority (at least in my head), they think that's a very bad thing.
It's hard to be the one who's different, who thinks in way-out-there directions from the norm, who isn't concerned over religions groupings. The implication is that I need to "get back to church" and be involved. But facing outwards makes me want to step away from the church building and out into the wilder, wider world. They're emphasizing like-minded groups, I'm thinking go where you're different. They want me "back in the fold". I'm feeling fenced in.
It's bugging me, this different view on things. I respect them and want them to understand where I'm at, but find it very hard to explain. I don't even know how to start explaining.
After nearly a year anti-church, I'm yet again finding myself reading emerging church blogs and thoughts, dreams and conversations, ideas and discussions. I'm slowly starting to think "Christian" thoughts again instead of getting my guard up and being cynical at anything and everything.
And I'm finding I've changed, in very big ways. I'm so different from where I was at a year ago. Completely opposite to what I was 5 years ago. And those that know me are finding it tough understanding that I've changed. They still assume my views and path will be along expected channels, when in reality I don't think they will.
This weekend I prayed a dangerous prayer - "God, surprise me! Do your thing. Amaze me. I'm open and waiting." Scary, scary stuff. Almost as bad as the "whatever" prayer I mentioned earlier this week. If He's going to truly surprise me, just imagine how surprised everyone else might be.
In the meantime though there's this rift forming, and it's widening daily. I simply don't know how to bridge it.
It's like we're facing two completely different directions. I'm looking outward, they're looking inward. I see church as who you are, they see church as where you are. I see a harvest out there requiring getting your hands dirty, they see the barn they're trying to attract the harvest to. I'm no longer answering to a church authority (at least in my head), they think that's a very bad thing.
It's hard to be the one who's different, who thinks in way-out-there directions from the norm, who isn't concerned over religions groupings. The implication is that I need to "get back to church" and be involved. But facing outwards makes me want to step away from the church building and out into the wilder, wider world. They're emphasizing like-minded groups, I'm thinking go where you're different. They want me "back in the fold". I'm feeling fenced in.
It's bugging me, this different view on things. I respect them and want them to understand where I'm at, but find it very hard to explain. I don't even know how to start explaining.
After nearly a year anti-church, I'm yet again finding myself reading emerging church blogs and thoughts, dreams and conversations, ideas and discussions. I'm slowly starting to think "Christian" thoughts again instead of getting my guard up and being cynical at anything and everything.
And I'm finding I've changed, in very big ways. I'm so different from where I was at a year ago. Completely opposite to what I was 5 years ago. And those that know me are finding it tough understanding that I've changed. They still assume my views and path will be along expected channels, when in reality I don't think they will.
This weekend I prayed a dangerous prayer - "God, surprise me! Do your thing. Amaze me. I'm open and waiting." Scary, scary stuff. Almost as bad as the "whatever" prayer I mentioned earlier this week. If He's going to truly surprise me, just imagine how surprised everyone else might be.
In the meantime though there's this rift forming, and it's widening daily. I simply don't know how to bridge it.
I'm in Trouble...
Yet again I forgot to put my son's PT things in a bag and send them to school with him today. I've just seen him coming out of the gym as I left class, and as I got back to the office I realized what I've done!
Forgetting one's PT clothes is a serious offence - punishable with detention! And if it's mom's fault... well, mom doesn't get detention, the kid does. Hardly fair.
It's not just that I forgot, it's that life seems to be getting away from me. Coming home from work at 6:30 last night was only one thing in a long line of stuff seemingly spiralling out of control. I get so busy trying to keep all those bits up in the air instead of crashing down. I forget to stop and think and relax and rejuvinate. I find that there's no time for my body and soul to cath up to each other, and I start losing track of important stuff.
I really hope my son doesn't get detention. But I've just realized that if he does it will apply to next Friday afternoon's session - at which time we'll be on a jet plane! :) Perhaps by the time we return they will have forgotten the incident.
::update::
Well, he didn't get detention - but he does have to write 150 lines! What earthly good does writing lines do, I ask you? I'm going to "be funny" and write 150 of my own lines (I will not forget my son's PT gear) to hand in with his... :)
Forgetting one's PT clothes is a serious offence - punishable with detention! And if it's mom's fault... well, mom doesn't get detention, the kid does. Hardly fair.
It's not just that I forgot, it's that life seems to be getting away from me. Coming home from work at 6:30 last night was only one thing in a long line of stuff seemingly spiralling out of control. I get so busy trying to keep all those bits up in the air instead of crashing down. I forget to stop and think and relax and rejuvinate. I find that there's no time for my body and soul to cath up to each other, and I start losing track of important stuff.
I really hope my son doesn't get detention. But I've just realized that if he does it will apply to next Friday afternoon's session - at which time we'll be on a jet plane! :) Perhaps by the time we return they will have forgotten the incident.
::update::
Well, he didn't get detention - but he does have to write 150 lines! What earthly good does writing lines do, I ask you? I'm going to "be funny" and write 150 of my own lines (I will not forget my son's PT gear) to hand in with his... :)
If I had a choice...
If I had a choice, today I would be wearing RM Williams boots, my oldest comfiest jeans, a crisp natural linen/cotton shirt, and be working outside.
I'd end the day with slightly-stiff, well-worn and pleasantly tired muscles. Perhaps a spot of sun-blush on my nose, and the potential for a truly good night's rest.
I'd have enjoyed every task completed, lived each moment to the fullest, stopped to notice natural beauty and eaten slow-cooked, hearty food around a table with those I love.
I would have breathed deeply of fresh air. I would have appreciated the textures of everything I touched, and delighted in rough and smooth, soft and hard. I would have run my hands over plant and soil, just to feel them beneath my fingertips.
I'd have to pick out the leftovers of my working day from beneath my nails, and scrub my toil off my skin - but know that I've accomplished something good and done something I loved.
Perhaps I can't have that ideal right now, but today there will be snatches of moments where I can live and love and truly be. All I need is to remember them, notice them and fully experience them.
I'd end the day with slightly-stiff, well-worn and pleasantly tired muscles. Perhaps a spot of sun-blush on my nose, and the potential for a truly good night's rest.
I'd have enjoyed every task completed, lived each moment to the fullest, stopped to notice natural beauty and eaten slow-cooked, hearty food around a table with those I love.
I would have breathed deeply of fresh air. I would have appreciated the textures of everything I touched, and delighted in rough and smooth, soft and hard. I would have run my hands over plant and soil, just to feel them beneath my fingertips.
I'd have to pick out the leftovers of my working day from beneath my nails, and scrub my toil off my skin - but know that I've accomplished something good and done something I loved.
Perhaps I can't have that ideal right now, but today there will be snatches of moments where I can live and love and truly be. All I need is to remember them, notice them and fully experience them.
The Late, Late Show
Unlike most days when I get to shut everything down and rush out of the office as the clock chimes 5, today I get to leave at least an hour later.
You see, the government is "auditing" all educational institutions, and strangely enough we ended up first in line on their list. So they're here this week in the form of representatives who have lined up everyone we can lay our hands on to interview.
I was supposed to be interviewed with a non-teaching administrative group this morning, but they cancelled that. However, I'm on with the teaching group (huh? non-teaching, but teaching?) at 5:30 today, until 6 or so. As a contract lecturer it seems I'm part of the crowd they want to see.
No-one has any idea what to expect, but there have been some harsh ones already, so no-one's too eager to do this.
Here I sit, trying to pass time until we're called to the "holding cell", issued name tags and table labels (which I had to print for every living soul), and ushered in to the slaughterhouse.
Fortunately for me, I can always blog.
Unfortunately for you, I (yet again) have nothing to say!
You see, the government is "auditing" all educational institutions, and strangely enough we ended up first in line on their list. So they're here this week in the form of representatives who have lined up everyone we can lay our hands on to interview.
I was supposed to be interviewed with a non-teaching administrative group this morning, but they cancelled that. However, I'm on with the teaching group (huh? non-teaching, but teaching?) at 5:30 today, until 6 or so. As a contract lecturer it seems I'm part of the crowd they want to see.
No-one has any idea what to expect, but there have been some harsh ones already, so no-one's too eager to do this.
Here I sit, trying to pass time until we're called to the "holding cell", issued name tags and table labels (which I had to print for every living soul), and ushered in to the slaughterhouse.
Fortunately for me, I can always blog.
Unfortunately for you, I (yet again) have nothing to say!
No Bread, No Food!
Ever noticed that when you don't have a particular food item in the house, that's the one thing you crave? It's like when the water's been turned off at the mains for repair - suddenly all you want is gallons of the stuff to drink. Or when there's no milk - same thing. (Only slightly applies to chocolate supplies)
Well, we've run out of bread. I bought a minimal amount at my weekly grocery shop, intending to stock up on better bread from a nearby shop (the BEST you'll ever taste) over the weekend. And didn't get round to it. So we finished off the last crust this morning, and suddenly all I could think of for lunch, supper and on into the rest of the week is bread!
I would bake a couple of loaves, but the flour's running low (did I mention I baked a most excellent loaf of garlic-infused bread over the weekend, from scratch, WITHOUT A RECIPE?? I'm becoming a regular Jamie Oliver!). Just enough for muffins (a bread subsitute, as leftovers can go into the kid's breaktime lunchbox) for supper. We're also running out of salt...
Well, we hummed and hawed over what to eat for lunch, all the time thinking "bread, bread, bread". I ended up making a thick veggie soup (more like stew) for me, and the kid had instant noodles with leftover custard for afters. You see, we were going to have bread for supper last night too (we're weighed down with ripe avo's just crying out to be spread and sprinkled with Aromat) - but I wanted enough left for this morning's breakfast. We ended up with hot cooked apples and custard instead for supper. So much for nutrition...
I've noticed that bread has become very much a comfort food for me. Not only eating a darned fine loaf fresh out of the oven (home-made or bought) with an indecent amount of butter and stuff on top, but also the MAKING of bread. Mixing, then kneading, kneading, kneading - it's very calming, and you get to work out a few tensions while you're at it. I love the smell of baking bread, and that first steaming slice cut with a crisp crust from the end of the loaf.
Oh man, I'm drooling on the keyboard again.
My parents are always complaining about the lack of decent bread in Australia. It comes sliced, and you can crumple an entire loaf up to a mere handful. No substance, no taste. First thing they rush for when they arrive is a freshly-baked loaf from Pick 'n Pay. (By the way, American bread is WAY worse than Australian bread...). I've sent along a number of recipes for mom to try baking her own, but she says "the flour is different" and "it won't work", so they stick to the bad bread they buy.
But I'm coming over! And I'm going to show them how to create a perfect loaf, independent of "different flour" issues. I've found one can use nearly any type wheat flour and still get a superb loaf of bread. Maybe, just maybe, they'll catch on and continue to make it when I leave.
In the meantime though we've got no food in the house - simply because we're out of bread.
Well, we've run out of bread. I bought a minimal amount at my weekly grocery shop, intending to stock up on better bread from a nearby shop (the BEST you'll ever taste) over the weekend. And didn't get round to it. So we finished off the last crust this morning, and suddenly all I could think of for lunch, supper and on into the rest of the week is bread!
I would bake a couple of loaves, but the flour's running low (did I mention I baked a most excellent loaf of garlic-infused bread over the weekend, from scratch, WITHOUT A RECIPE?? I'm becoming a regular Jamie Oliver!). Just enough for muffins (a bread subsitute, as leftovers can go into the kid's breaktime lunchbox) for supper. We're also running out of salt...
Well, we hummed and hawed over what to eat for lunch, all the time thinking "bread, bread, bread". I ended up making a thick veggie soup (more like stew) for me, and the kid had instant noodles with leftover custard for afters. You see, we were going to have bread for supper last night too (we're weighed down with ripe avo's just crying out to be spread and sprinkled with Aromat) - but I wanted enough left for this morning's breakfast. We ended up with hot cooked apples and custard instead for supper. So much for nutrition...
I've noticed that bread has become very much a comfort food for me. Not only eating a darned fine loaf fresh out of the oven (home-made or bought) with an indecent amount of butter and stuff on top, but also the MAKING of bread. Mixing, then kneading, kneading, kneading - it's very calming, and you get to work out a few tensions while you're at it. I love the smell of baking bread, and that first steaming slice cut with a crisp crust from the end of the loaf.
Oh man, I'm drooling on the keyboard again.
My parents are always complaining about the lack of decent bread in Australia. It comes sliced, and you can crumple an entire loaf up to a mere handful. No substance, no taste. First thing they rush for when they arrive is a freshly-baked loaf from Pick 'n Pay. (By the way, American bread is WAY worse than Australian bread...). I've sent along a number of recipes for mom to try baking her own, but she says "the flour is different" and "it won't work", so they stick to the bad bread they buy.
But I'm coming over! And I'm going to show them how to create a perfect loaf, independent of "different flour" issues. I've found one can use nearly any type wheat flour and still get a superb loaf of bread. Maybe, just maybe, they'll catch on and continue to make it when I leave.
In the meantime though we've got no food in the house - simply because we're out of bread.
Dodgy Doorhandles
The inevitable call of nature has taken me to the building's toilets, and opening the door to return to my office left me with a damp hand - from the previous person who washed theirs and (as usual) didn't have them dried adequately by our puny hot-air-blower. (I just wipe mine on my clothes if it doesn't work properly...:) ).
Way back when I was studying Food Technology we did a bit of an experiment in our Microbiology class. We took a fresh agar plate (growth medium in a jelly-like format in a petri dish), then did all sorts of things to it. We washed our hands with soap and water, and touched a plate. We wiped our foreheads or the side of our nose (outside, not inside) with a Q-tip (earbud, whatever you call it) and smeared a plate. We shook our hair over a plate. We took lab equipment and swapped a surface, then wiped it onto a plate. We took a plate outside and swiped it at the air a few times.
We stuck all the plates in the growth box and left them for a few days.
What we saw on return was horrific! Washing our hands had left us with not only airborne bacteria, but added a good few slime moulds to the mix in all sorts of interesting colours from the water we'd used. What came off our face was gruesome, as was what fell out our hair. The so-called sterile lab stuff wasn't half as sterile as we'd imagined. The air was carrying all sorts of free-ride goodies.
As I touched the bathroom door, all that came flooding back to me. I had to wonder what's lurking in that dampness on the door - or in the dryness if someone DOESN'T wash their hands before they open it. And whether it's better to chance the former or the latter. Or simply open the door with my feet.
Way back when I was studying Food Technology we did a bit of an experiment in our Microbiology class. We took a fresh agar plate (growth medium in a jelly-like format in a petri dish), then did all sorts of things to it. We washed our hands with soap and water, and touched a plate. We wiped our foreheads or the side of our nose (outside, not inside) with a Q-tip (earbud, whatever you call it) and smeared a plate. We shook our hair over a plate. We took lab equipment and swapped a surface, then wiped it onto a plate. We took a plate outside and swiped it at the air a few times.
We stuck all the plates in the growth box and left them for a few days.
What we saw on return was horrific! Washing our hands had left us with not only airborne bacteria, but added a good few slime moulds to the mix in all sorts of interesting colours from the water we'd used. What came off our face was gruesome, as was what fell out our hair. The so-called sterile lab stuff wasn't half as sterile as we'd imagined. The air was carrying all sorts of free-ride goodies.
As I touched the bathroom door, all that came flooding back to me. I had to wonder what's lurking in that dampness on the door - or in the dryness if someone DOESN'T wash their hands before they open it. And whether it's better to chance the former or the latter. Or simply open the door with my feet.
Rainbows and Rain
Last night I got all happy-snappy with my crummy little digital (can't WAIT to get the new one!!!) and my big fat ancient Minolta, all thanks to a wonderful rainy evening.
First shot was rain moving across the bay and mountains (Minolta only), and then as it cleared the sun shot through to create an absolutely brilliant double rainbow. It was still raining heavily, but I dashed out (slippers and all) to snap away as many frames as I dared.
This morning I uploaded the digital ones - and the camera's playing up again, but I managed to get a few good shots. Here's a small portion of what we saw:
The scene was constantly changing as strong wind drove the rain and clouds at angles over the sunlight. Some things are better seen in person than trying to capture them on film!
Funny how we seemed to be the only ones who noticed the amazing display and dared go outside to experience it... Don't the others see such amazing stuff, or do they see it and simply not care?
First shot was rain moving across the bay and mountains (Minolta only), and then as it cleared the sun shot through to create an absolutely brilliant double rainbow. It was still raining heavily, but I dashed out (slippers and all) to snap away as many frames as I dared.
This morning I uploaded the digital ones - and the camera's playing up again, but I managed to get a few good shots. Here's a small portion of what we saw:
The scene was constantly changing as strong wind drove the rain and clouds at angles over the sunlight. Some things are better seen in person than trying to capture them on film!
Funny how we seemed to be the only ones who noticed the amazing display and dared go outside to experience it... Don't the others see such amazing stuff, or do they see it and simply not care?
Normal?
You Are 65% Normal (Really Normal) |
 Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal You're like most people most of the time But you've got those quirks that make you endearing You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so! |
Yeah right.... :)
Summer and Winter
Been compiling CDs and there are some songs that just say "summer" to me, that I'm sticking on one of those CDs you can blast forth as you cruise around in dusty heat with the windows open. Like these:
But now we're heading into winter, and perhaps I should get out of summer mode. So what should I be putting on a winter CD? Suggestions?
Oh, and any for my summer collection that I've left out or forgotten completely about? I'm trying to dredge stuff up from ancient history in the dark recesses of my mind...
Beach Boys - Kokomo
Chris Rea - Texas
Sting - Desert Rose
Geri Halliwell (or the original) - It's Raining Men
Bryan Adams - Summer of '69 (obviously!)
Joe Cocker - Summer in the City
Men at Work - Down Under
Van Halen - Jump
Dire Straits - Money for Nothing
Sting - Fields of Gold
Level 42 - Something About You
Blue Lagoon (or the original Matt Wilder) - Break My Stride
Toto - Africa
But now we're heading into winter, and perhaps I should get out of summer mode. So what should I be putting on a winter CD? Suggestions?
Oh, and any for my summer collection that I've left out or forgotten completely about? I'm trying to dredge stuff up from ancient history in the dark recesses of my mind...
Work-related Stress
A recent news article mentioned that South African companies are not aware of their employees stress levels, that there is no measuring tool in place, nor a plan for stress reduction.
They mentioned how some Oriental companies do compulsary exercise together each day to reduce stress, how others are introducing a more balanced existance. And how South Africans are too "tough" to admit they're stressed.
Not me! I'll freely admit that if anyone so much as looked skeef at me before lunch today they were in danger of having their head bitten off. And that trying to relax out a stress-induced headache over the lunch hour took a lot of effort.
But this company, along with others, doesn't acknowledge the role of stress - whatever its cause in the workplace, whether it be noise, lack of communication, overload, mis-matched colleagues, inequity (in any number of areas!) or whatever. And if they do recognize it, there's no real options available to deal with it. Those who are put on "stress leave" get sniggered at behind their back, those taking medication face raised eyebrows when the medical claims are processed. And no-one is willing to adequately address the underlying causes that bring on the symptoms.
Dealing with daily stress as an underling is one reason why I'm looking for change - BIG change - in my "career" future. I'd rather have to deal with issues doing something I love than with hand-me-down and slap-me-around workplace stress that I can do nothing about, in a situation I care little for. Sounds harsh perhaps, but after years of thriving on the adrenaline and challenge that stressful situations brought out in me, I'm ready NOT to. I find that things grate on me easier these days, and don't roll off my back as readily.
I know that getting outdoors in the fresh air, breathing deeply and moving the limbs helps. But sometimes the stress is greater than a simple solution can handle. And that's what I don't feel willing to deal with for much longer. I understand that no situation is perfect - but surely there could be something better than constant wearing down?
Anyway, perhaps I'm getting a bit off track with this post, heading toward a canyon of gripe I didn't intend falling into. What I really wanted to say is that it's high time employers recognized what's going on below, and found ways to make working life less stressful. Surely it can only bring positive results if they do!
They mentioned how some Oriental companies do compulsary exercise together each day to reduce stress, how others are introducing a more balanced existance. And how South Africans are too "tough" to admit they're stressed.
Not me! I'll freely admit that if anyone so much as looked skeef at me before lunch today they were in danger of having their head bitten off. And that trying to relax out a stress-induced headache over the lunch hour took a lot of effort.
But this company, along with others, doesn't acknowledge the role of stress - whatever its cause in the workplace, whether it be noise, lack of communication, overload, mis-matched colleagues, inequity (in any number of areas!) or whatever. And if they do recognize it, there's no real options available to deal with it. Those who are put on "stress leave" get sniggered at behind their back, those taking medication face raised eyebrows when the medical claims are processed. And no-one is willing to adequately address the underlying causes that bring on the symptoms.
Dealing with daily stress as an underling is one reason why I'm looking for change - BIG change - in my "career" future. I'd rather have to deal with issues doing something I love than with hand-me-down and slap-me-around workplace stress that I can do nothing about, in a situation I care little for. Sounds harsh perhaps, but after years of thriving on the adrenaline and challenge that stressful situations brought out in me, I'm ready NOT to. I find that things grate on me easier these days, and don't roll off my back as readily.
I know that getting outdoors in the fresh air, breathing deeply and moving the limbs helps. But sometimes the stress is greater than a simple solution can handle. And that's what I don't feel willing to deal with for much longer. I understand that no situation is perfect - but surely there could be something better than constant wearing down?
Anyway, perhaps I'm getting a bit off track with this post, heading toward a canyon of gripe I didn't intend falling into. What I really wanted to say is that it's high time employers recognized what's going on below, and found ways to make working life less stressful. Surely it can only bring positive results if they do!
False sense of security
I guess I suffer from it, this false sense that everything is safe. But now and then it gets blown sky-high.
This weekend one of our lecturers was walking on the beach during the day, in a well-peopled area - and was stabbed a number of times! He's now in hospital. Fortunately they missed everything critical to his survival....
It happened at a place my son and I often go to, where more likely than not I sit alone while he jumps waves. Suddenly I'm not sure we should be doing that, and I'm likely to consider all other beach-goers with suspicion. Just down the sand is a place in the dunes where a number of murders have happened - the place we walk through bushes to reach the beach at. If I hadn't bought the newspaper on the day it was highlighted, I would have been innocent of that knowledge.
I walk in the dark each morning, unafraid. I've walked alone up the mountain with the dogs and felt no fear. Others are not so "lucky" (clueless?). They fear for their lives on the mountain and in the dark, and wouldn't chance it.
You know, I love South Africa. But the realization that muggings, rapes, stabbings, violent robberies, hijackings etc. happen regularly just down the road makes me want to get out. When I visit my grandparents on their farm near Pretoria, we all get handed a gun to put under our pillows at night (I'm low-ranking so mine is a mere pellet-gun instead of the rifle or shotgun, but I've been told to "aim for the eyes" if anyone unwanted turns up...). It's a fact of life for them, this living in fear of attack. They've had to shoot at folk trying to break in and do who-knows-what to them a few times - lucky escapes. Neighbours have been murdered, people they know have been attacked on arriving home. It's freaky, scary stuff.
Right now, as much as I love where I live, I'm afraid to plan a future here...
This weekend one of our lecturers was walking on the beach during the day, in a well-peopled area - and was stabbed a number of times! He's now in hospital. Fortunately they missed everything critical to his survival....
It happened at a place my son and I often go to, where more likely than not I sit alone while he jumps waves. Suddenly I'm not sure we should be doing that, and I'm likely to consider all other beach-goers with suspicion. Just down the sand is a place in the dunes where a number of murders have happened - the place we walk through bushes to reach the beach at. If I hadn't bought the newspaper on the day it was highlighted, I would have been innocent of that knowledge.
I walk in the dark each morning, unafraid. I've walked alone up the mountain with the dogs and felt no fear. Others are not so "lucky" (clueless?). They fear for their lives on the mountain and in the dark, and wouldn't chance it.
You know, I love South Africa. But the realization that muggings, rapes, stabbings, violent robberies, hijackings etc. happen regularly just down the road makes me want to get out. When I visit my grandparents on their farm near Pretoria, we all get handed a gun to put under our pillows at night (I'm low-ranking so mine is a mere pellet-gun instead of the rifle or shotgun, but I've been told to "aim for the eyes" if anyone unwanted turns up...). It's a fact of life for them, this living in fear of attack. They've had to shoot at folk trying to break in and do who-knows-what to them a few times - lucky escapes. Neighbours have been murdered, people they know have been attacked on arriving home. It's freaky, scary stuff.
Right now, as much as I love where I live, I'm afraid to plan a future here...
Lame Jokes Rule!
To delay his bedtime as late as possible, my son got into lame-joke mode on Thursday night. We took turns making up jokes and laughing, cringing or "huh?"ing. Really, really lame ones went like this:
"What did the tree say to the apple?" "Get off of me!" (you can come up with millions more that end in the same phrase...)
And "What did the leaf say to the ground?" "I'm on to you!" (same as above, way too many jokes that end in the same phrase...)
Then there were the "why did the (insert animal here) cross the road?" etc, etc, etc.
The old ones were hauled out:
"Mary had a little lamb, the doctor was surprised
When Old McDonald had a farm, the vet he nearly died!"
We tried not to tell any dirty ones, but Claude the hypnotist got a mention, as did Captain Cook.
Unfortunately, my son now insists on a joke every night after his chapter of Narnia (we're on the third reading of the series!), before sleeping time. And I'm running out of lame jokes!
So I'm throwing open the floor - inspire me, please!!!
"What did the tree say to the apple?" "Get off of me!" (you can come up with millions more that end in the same phrase...)
And "What did the leaf say to the ground?" "I'm on to you!" (same as above, way too many jokes that end in the same phrase...)
Then there were the "why did the (insert animal here) cross the road?" etc, etc, etc.
The old ones were hauled out:
"Mary had a little lamb, the doctor was surprised
When Old McDonald had a farm, the vet he nearly died!"
We tried not to tell any dirty ones, but Claude the hypnotist got a mention, as did Captain Cook.
Unfortunately, my son now insists on a joke every night after his chapter of Narnia (we're on the third reading of the series!), before sleeping time. And I'm running out of lame jokes!
So I'm throwing open the floor - inspire me, please!!!
The Dark Side of Christianity
A small news item on the independant TV station last week mentioned that a Muslim guy had gone to buy timber from a Christian company. The lady there insisted that he remove his fez before she'd serve him, as it "offended" her.
Sheesh!
They interviewed the guy afterward, and this is (basically) what he had to say:
"She says she's a Christian. That means she follows Jesus. Jesus would never have treated anyone like she treated me."
He knows more about Jesus than some Christians I know....!
The camera crew followed him back to the company to find out the story behind the story. They were shown the door with a barely-veiled hostility, clothed in a pasted-on smile by the "Christian" lady.
And I felt horrible for people everywhere who see that as the only thing Christianity is. I cringed at the label "Christian", wondering if there's a way to redeem those of us who find such behaviour toward our fellow-man beyond horrific (yet are lumped into the same category because we choose to call ourselves followers of Christ) - if for no other reason than that we are all God-made, no matter what we look like or what we believe.
And I wondered how many Christians would take the time to know what Muslims believe, so that when they act or react in a certain way, they'd know why or why not.
Messy Christian talks about being Christian (a Jesus-follower) within the context of another religious/cultural tradition. I believe it's possible - and that there are more Christians out there than we realize. More than they realize.
If only the "official" Christians would practice what they preach...
Sheesh!
They interviewed the guy afterward, and this is (basically) what he had to say:
"She says she's a Christian. That means she follows Jesus. Jesus would never have treated anyone like she treated me."
He knows more about Jesus than some Christians I know....!
The camera crew followed him back to the company to find out the story behind the story. They were shown the door with a barely-veiled hostility, clothed in a pasted-on smile by the "Christian" lady.
And I felt horrible for people everywhere who see that as the only thing Christianity is. I cringed at the label "Christian", wondering if there's a way to redeem those of us who find such behaviour toward our fellow-man beyond horrific (yet are lumped into the same category because we choose to call ourselves followers of Christ) - if for no other reason than that we are all God-made, no matter what we look like or what we believe.
And I wondered how many Christians would take the time to know what Muslims believe, so that when they act or react in a certain way, they'd know why or why not.
Messy Christian talks about being Christian (a Jesus-follower) within the context of another religious/cultural tradition. I believe it's possible - and that there are more Christians out there than we realize. More than they realize.
If only the "official" Christians would practice what they preach...
And Counting
With less than 2 weeks to go before we leave I'm in the ZONE today work-wise. I've accomplished more this morning by 9:30 than I have in a long time. And I know that when this work-mode strikes I'd better take full advantage of it before it tapers off into the I Don't Cares again.
This weekend we made our packing lists, and then started crossing out the stuff we could really do without. We're going extremely light on the carryables, heavy on the cash (should I keep it in my bra or my undies for safety?), and coming back dragging tons of stuff. We picked up our tickets and itineraries on Friday, and they're safely stored with the passports/visas, ready to go.
Caught dad online this morning, just as he was about to press "buy" for my Canon Powershot A95 camera. I found the same model at the mall on Friday - for a thousand bucks more here than there! We're getting a darned good deal... He's also thrown in extra MB's of memory so I can get all happy-snappy on arrival. I can't wait! I'm looking forward to trying out the black & white and sepia options for photos too. There are a couple of old buildings I want to photograph and see how they come out.
It's been a bit of a "spiritual" weekend. Yes, we did church again, but I also took some time to sit, read, think and just be for a bit. Lots percolating in the brain, but it's difficult to write it all down. Oh, and I've found the perfect prayer for following God's will:
"Dear God
WHATEVER
Amen."
What do you think? :)
Another massive cold front moving in. Not as violent as the last one, but likely to bring snow tomorrow, the first of the season. Pity it only sprinkles on the mountaintops here, and doesn't get down to play-in-it level. One day I'd still like for my son to experience a snowy Christmas. I did, in Idaho, and it was wonderful.
Well, this work-mode mood is starting to fade, so I'd better get back to what needs doing before it disappears alltogether!
This weekend we made our packing lists, and then started crossing out the stuff we could really do without. We're going extremely light on the carryables, heavy on the cash (should I keep it in my bra or my undies for safety?), and coming back dragging tons of stuff. We picked up our tickets and itineraries on Friday, and they're safely stored with the passports/visas, ready to go.
Caught dad online this morning, just as he was about to press "buy" for my Canon Powershot A95 camera. I found the same model at the mall on Friday - for a thousand bucks more here than there! We're getting a darned good deal... He's also thrown in extra MB's of memory so I can get all happy-snappy on arrival. I can't wait! I'm looking forward to trying out the black & white and sepia options for photos too. There are a couple of old buildings I want to photograph and see how they come out.
It's been a bit of a "spiritual" weekend. Yes, we did church again, but I also took some time to sit, read, think and just be for a bit. Lots percolating in the brain, but it's difficult to write it all down. Oh, and I've found the perfect prayer for following God's will:
"Dear God
WHATEVER
Amen."
What do you think? :)
Another massive cold front moving in. Not as violent as the last one, but likely to bring snow tomorrow, the first of the season. Pity it only sprinkles on the mountaintops here, and doesn't get down to play-in-it level. One day I'd still like for my son to experience a snowy Christmas. I did, in Idaho, and it was wonderful.
Well, this work-mode mood is starting to fade, so I'd better get back to what needs doing before it disappears alltogether!
Shabbat Shalom
It's been a seriously hectic day, and I'm SO looking forward to quiet, solitude, peace - and sleeping in! :)
Rest and refreshment to you this weekend.
Rest and refreshment to you this weekend.
Busy, busy
Today's going to be a full one. I have documents to prepare for a government audit of this institution next week, the presidential few (mega-bosses) have scheduled a "walk through" of my flat (apparently to see "maintenance issues", though whether anything will be done about it or not is debateable), and I'm teaching a class.
Once work ends I'm off to finally collect our tickets and itineraries, then start buying the few things we're taking with us for the parents.
Two weeks today, we're gone!
But right now, today, I'm here and have a LOT to do.
Once work ends I'm off to finally collect our tickets and itineraries, then start buying the few things we're taking with us for the parents.
Two weeks today, we're gone!
But right now, today, I'm here and have a LOT to do.
Before I go...
...here's some things to amuse you (or cause you to throw rotten tomatoes my direction, virtually or not!):
From Luke:
And from a local teacher (who you may throw the tomatoes at, instead of at me):
Back tomorrow! :)
From Luke:
Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day.
Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world."
Tom Thumb said, "I'm sure I must be the smallest person in the world."
Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the ugliest person in the world."
So they decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified.
Sleeping Beauty went into the panel of judges first and came out looking deliriously happy. "It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world!"
Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am officially the smallest person in the world."
Sometime later, Quasimodo came out looking confused and said..
“Who the hell is Camilla Parker Bowles?"
And from a local teacher (who you may throw the tomatoes at, instead of at me):
As Claude the Hypnotist took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most
stage hypnotists, who only invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It is a very special watch. It has been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch. Watch the watch. Watch the watch. Watch the watch.... "
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch - until, unexpectedly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"Sh!t!!" said the hypnotist.
It took three weeks to clean the seats.........
Back tomorrow! :)
Headline of the Day
Seems with our recent rains a rather immense boulder rolled down a hill, right onto the foundations of a house being built, narrowly missing 2 of the workers. It's too big to move, and the only alternatives were - make it a feature, or dynamite it.
So it's going to "make like a banana"... and split, as the owners don't particularly want a huge rock in their home.
Digital Cameras
Here's your chance to give your 2c (or more) worth of advice! I'm hoping to get a digital camera while in Australia, and here are the options I'm considering:
1. Dad says "Nikon Coolpix 5100 Black". Costs AU$430 + AU$16 shipping.
2. I say "Canon Powershot A95". Costs AU$466 + AU$16 shipping.
So - which one is better? Or is it "none of the above"? I have around AU$500 to spend on the camera, and another AU$50 or so for any extras.
If you have any clue, now's the time to speak up!
1. Dad says "Nikon Coolpix 5100 Black". Costs AU$430 + AU$16 shipping.
2. I say "Canon Powershot A95". Costs AU$466 + AU$16 shipping.
So - which one is better? Or is it "none of the above"? I have around AU$500 to spend on the camera, and another AU$50 or so for any extras.
If you have any clue, now's the time to speak up!
New Blog
As if I didn't have enough to do, and as if I had a lot of faith that Blogger will have no future problems, I've gone and set up a second blog, "Dear Jason".
I'm going to use it to write down thoughts and events and stories for my son. I'm not sure when I'll hand over the blog address for him to read, but it's a start. Who knows, it may even get us through the upcoming teen years of non-communication...!
I'm going to use it to write down thoughts and events and stories for my son. I'm not sure when I'll hand over the blog address for him to read, but it's a start. Who knows, it may even get us through the upcoming teen years of non-communication...!
Old Maid
Was lying in the bath last night thinking (and trying not to fall asleep in the nice warm water), specifically about marriage.
I know it's expected of most to find their soulmate, settle down and "be fruitful". I've already been fruitful, and I don't feel like settling, or finding a soulmate. Perhaps that makes me weird.
It's just that I actually like the life I've got. Being a single mom, being unmarried. I like the freedom I have to go where I want and do what I want - provided we have enough to live on and all our basic needs are taken care of. I don't really want to change that. I'd like to be able to make impulsive decisions without having to first plan around another adult - and their job or committments or whatever. I don't want to have to follow someone else around if they're required to move, but would rather make those kind of decisions solo. I enjoy going out if I want to go out, splurging if I want to splurge, eating ice-cream for lunch if I want to do that.
Of course it would help to have a second salary coming in, so I could give up a job and try something new without financial worries if I wanted to. But it's not essential. I can make things work on what I have without having to rely on someone else. I can scrimp and save easier than I would have if I had a "family budget" to work with.
There's the argument of some that it's nice to have "companionship" later in life. I guess so, but I'm not the type that gets lonely. In fact I enjoy being on my own. And having never had a chance to do the "backpack around Europe" or whatever thing in my younger years (becoming a single mom at 20 ruled that one out!), I'd probably do it in my later years.
There's the sex thing, but strangely enough it not important to me (yeah, go ahead and say I'm weird). Can do without indefinitely.
I definitely don't need the hassles that husbands inevitably bring, or that I'd bring as a wife. Can go without arguments and compromises and sharing space. I guess I'm a bit selfish.
So why should I want to get married? Am I missing out on something, or am I way better off this way? I tend to think it's the latter.
I guess I'll be an Old Maid one day, but that's just fine with me.
I know it's expected of most to find their soulmate, settle down and "be fruitful". I've already been fruitful, and I don't feel like settling, or finding a soulmate. Perhaps that makes me weird.
It's just that I actually like the life I've got. Being a single mom, being unmarried. I like the freedom I have to go where I want and do what I want - provided we have enough to live on and all our basic needs are taken care of. I don't really want to change that. I'd like to be able to make impulsive decisions without having to first plan around another adult - and their job or committments or whatever. I don't want to have to follow someone else around if they're required to move, but would rather make those kind of decisions solo. I enjoy going out if I want to go out, splurging if I want to splurge, eating ice-cream for lunch if I want to do that.
Of course it would help to have a second salary coming in, so I could give up a job and try something new without financial worries if I wanted to. But it's not essential. I can make things work on what I have without having to rely on someone else. I can scrimp and save easier than I would have if I had a "family budget" to work with.
There's the argument of some that it's nice to have "companionship" later in life. I guess so, but I'm not the type that gets lonely. In fact I enjoy being on my own. And having never had a chance to do the "backpack around Europe" or whatever thing in my younger years (becoming a single mom at 20 ruled that one out!), I'd probably do it in my later years.
There's the sex thing, but strangely enough it not important to me (yeah, go ahead and say I'm weird). Can do without indefinitely.
I definitely don't need the hassles that husbands inevitably bring, or that I'd bring as a wife. Can go without arguments and compromises and sharing space. I guess I'm a bit selfish.
So why should I want to get married? Am I missing out on something, or am I way better off this way? I tend to think it's the latter.
I guess I'll be an Old Maid one day, but that's just fine with me.
...and a time to go.
(I've been hesitating to post this, dunno why, but hey - it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to! :) If I don't want it up in half an hour's time there's always the delete button.)
Sitting in the staff worship time at the beginning of the working day today, I found an odd prayer circulating my mind - "Lord, get me out of here, soon! Before I do something I (or someone else) regret/s...".
Not that I'm ungrateful for employment. I realize daily how lucky I am to have a job to go to and a roof over my head. It's just that I've been here for 9 1/2 years now, and it's all getting a little bit much. There are patterns in what happens here that don't change.
* There's talk of me being kicked out of my office - again. Sent to some dark hole on the basement floor (not a logial thing, as my function here demands an easily-accessible and easily-visible office space for those who arrive seeking my help). Why? Well, because one boss wants a prime space office, so is moving EVERYONE if he gets his way. When in fact he may not need it, as he's likely to take over the mega-boss position and office in the near future.
* There's indications my job description will be added to significantly in areas that have absolutely nothing to do with my position. Forcibly. Without my input, and with no logical reason behind it.
* And I find myself more and more grated on by the religious assumptions everyone else makes. Little comments that go against how I see things (as more and more of an outsider, or someone way too different to fit snugly in the system) and make it hard for me to keep my mouth shut.
Perhaps I'm just WAY too negative today. I'm just tired of being a pawn, a dictated-to employee expected to conform, follow the herd and put on my happy face about it. It's one of the major reasons why I want to go it alone and get that business of mine started (though I'm under no illusions about how hard that's gonna be! It's easy to sit back and let the salary roll in each month.). Perhaps employment elsewhere would be better - I don't rightly know.
But I'm hesitating to take any big steps until we've been to Australia, had those "interviews" and know what the future may hold. For now I'm trying not to make anyone too p'd off - and putting on my happy face.
Sitting in the staff worship time at the beginning of the working day today, I found an odd prayer circulating my mind - "Lord, get me out of here, soon! Before I do something I (or someone else) regret/s...".
Not that I'm ungrateful for employment. I realize daily how lucky I am to have a job to go to and a roof over my head. It's just that I've been here for 9 1/2 years now, and it's all getting a little bit much. There are patterns in what happens here that don't change.
* There's talk of me being kicked out of my office - again. Sent to some dark hole on the basement floor (not a logial thing, as my function here demands an easily-accessible and easily-visible office space for those who arrive seeking my help). Why? Well, because one boss wants a prime space office, so is moving EVERYONE if he gets his way. When in fact he may not need it, as he's likely to take over the mega-boss position and office in the near future.
* There's indications my job description will be added to significantly in areas that have absolutely nothing to do with my position. Forcibly. Without my input, and with no logical reason behind it.
* And I find myself more and more grated on by the religious assumptions everyone else makes. Little comments that go against how I see things (as more and more of an outsider, or someone way too different to fit snugly in the system) and make it hard for me to keep my mouth shut.
Perhaps I'm just WAY too negative today. I'm just tired of being a pawn, a dictated-to employee expected to conform, follow the herd and put on my happy face about it. It's one of the major reasons why I want to go it alone and get that business of mine started (though I'm under no illusions about how hard that's gonna be! It's easy to sit back and let the salary roll in each month.). Perhaps employment elsewhere would be better - I don't rightly know.
But I'm hesitating to take any big steps until we've been to Australia, had those "interviews" and know what the future may hold. For now I'm trying not to make anyone too p'd off - and putting on my happy face.
Adoption or Just Help?
For many, many years, the plight of unwanted and unloved kids has tugged at my heart. Even more so when I became a mom. There are so many stories out there of children who are neglected, abused, dumped. Sometimes I have to just close my ears and eyes, simply for my heart to keep from cracking open.
Thinking of all those kids has had me considering whether I would be able to adopt or not. It's a major step to take - but if it makes a difference in just one kid's life, surely it would be more than worth it?
Yes, I know there are things like the World Vision programme and other sponsorship organizations, but somehow it doesn't seem quite enough.
And yet there's another side to the coin, namely my single parent status - and associated issues....
I don't think I'd be able to handle adopting, or that I'd be allowed to. A while back I read of a well-off executive lady, who was single and wanted to use her resources to adopt and mother an unwanted child. She was willing to take any child, no matter whether it had health problems, psychological issues, or anything else. She was flat-out told "there are no children available" - when she knew for a fact that there were many, many children needing homes! The powers that be were simply not willing to consider that she could be a wonderful mom without having a "normal" family set-up in place.
I know there's no way I'd be able to cope financially right now, or time-wise. Bringing another child into my little family of two would require more effort and time than I have available at the moment, having to work away from home all day to keep us alive.
But still these thoughts are circulating in my head. How can I make a difference? How can I give even one child love and attention that they may not be getting anywhere else? Do I have that to give, or is it just pipe dreams? Should I just stick to giving my son everything I've got instead of spreading it around thinly?
Thinking of all those kids has had me considering whether I would be able to adopt or not. It's a major step to take - but if it makes a difference in just one kid's life, surely it would be more than worth it?
Yes, I know there are things like the World Vision programme and other sponsorship organizations, but somehow it doesn't seem quite enough.
And yet there's another side to the coin, namely my single parent status - and associated issues....
I don't think I'd be able to handle adopting, or that I'd be allowed to. A while back I read of a well-off executive lady, who was single and wanted to use her resources to adopt and mother an unwanted child. She was willing to take any child, no matter whether it had health problems, psychological issues, or anything else. She was flat-out told "there are no children available" - when she knew for a fact that there were many, many children needing homes! The powers that be were simply not willing to consider that she could be a wonderful mom without having a "normal" family set-up in place.
I know there's no way I'd be able to cope financially right now, or time-wise. Bringing another child into my little family of two would require more effort and time than I have available at the moment, having to work away from home all day to keep us alive.
But still these thoughts are circulating in my head. How can I make a difference? How can I give even one child love and attention that they may not be getting anywhere else? Do I have that to give, or is it just pipe dreams? Should I just stick to giving my son everything I've got instead of spreading it around thinly?
Life with Boys
There's quite a "gang" of boys in the neighbourhood, most of whom are in the same grade at the same school, and seem to follow the sam fads.
We've had BeyBlades, DragonBallZ/GT, bikes, rollerblades, YuGiOh card battles - and now the latest is snake collecting!
We had a wonderfully mild evening yesterday, and the little groups of boys were our in force, overturning stones and logs and whatever they could find, seeking the harmless little garden snakes that seem to abound here. We're pretty rural, backed up against a forested mountain and with many open fields, so little wild things are common. We've got eagles and mongooses (no, not mongeese!), lizards and rodents. And snakes.
Well, I love snakes. I hate things with more than four legs, but snakes have none so they're OK. It may run in the family. My aunt used to keep a large aquarium full of egg-eaters and other slithery types in her room. Gran refused to go in there to clean - which was, perhaps, part of aunt's strategy to keep gran out!
So yesterday I joined in the search with abandon, advising on where to find them (under loose things, not stuff embedded in the ground with no gap to hide in), how to keep them (put some grass in the plastic box you're carrying, so they don't hurt themselves slithering on a surface they can't cling to), what to feed them (little container of raw egg, a couple of ants, a small amount of water).
Unfortunately one little monster got to our nearest hiding place and found a BIG one before my son did. FORTUNATELY his mom knows how to bargain - we swopped said monster 2 large pieces of home-made fudge for the snake, and all profited from the deal.
So right now at home there's a snake in an ice-cream container, hiding under a rock within grass tufts, perched on top of the piano.
Too cool.
------------------
I guess if I had a daughter instead of a son, we'd be into ponies and princesses and pink or purple at this stage....
We've had BeyBlades, DragonBallZ/GT, bikes, rollerblades, YuGiOh card battles - and now the latest is snake collecting!
We had a wonderfully mild evening yesterday, and the little groups of boys were our in force, overturning stones and logs and whatever they could find, seeking the harmless little garden snakes that seem to abound here. We're pretty rural, backed up against a forested mountain and with many open fields, so little wild things are common. We've got eagles and mongooses (no, not mongeese!), lizards and rodents. And snakes.
Well, I love snakes. I hate things with more than four legs, but snakes have none so they're OK. It may run in the family. My aunt used to keep a large aquarium full of egg-eaters and other slithery types in her room. Gran refused to go in there to clean - which was, perhaps, part of aunt's strategy to keep gran out!
So yesterday I joined in the search with abandon, advising on where to find them (under loose things, not stuff embedded in the ground with no gap to hide in), how to keep them (put some grass in the plastic box you're carrying, so they don't hurt themselves slithering on a surface they can't cling to), what to feed them (little container of raw egg, a couple of ants, a small amount of water).
Unfortunately one little monster got to our nearest hiding place and found a BIG one before my son did. FORTUNATELY his mom knows how to bargain - we swopped said monster 2 large pieces of home-made fudge for the snake, and all profited from the deal.
So right now at home there's a snake in an ice-cream container, hiding under a rock within grass tufts, perched on top of the piano.
Too cool.
------------------
I guess if I had a daughter instead of a son, we'd be into ponies and princesses and pink or purple at this stage....
Can you say "Aesthetics"?
Sometimes I wonder how folk's minds work. (Promise this won't be TOO much of a rant!:) ).
I live and work on a campus that is nearly 100 years old. Many of the buildings are solid and beautiful - at least, the ones that were built years ago.
But 4 years ago they started building with styrofoam. Sure, it's easy - it's like building with Lego, unless you haven't yet filled it with cement, the wind comes up overnight and you find your carefully-put-together first stage blown all over the place! (Quite amusing from a distance). But I don't trust styrofoam and I don't like it. For one thing it's not exactly environmentally friendly. If left out in the air long enough it wears away into non-biodegradable "snow" of styro-pellets. Heat or flame make it melt into a choking mess of harsh chemicals. For another, if you want to knock in a picture nail, you have to drill 20cm deep to find the filler cement - and hope the plaster doesn't come off in slabs while you're at it. There's no noise containment, it's hot in summer and cold in winter - and cracks.
I was offered a 3-bedroom house built of styrofoam a year back, so we could move out of the one-bedroom flat we're in and have room to breathe. I turned it down. I'd rather not chance my health or safety on a fire-hazard of toxic compounds.
The places look OK once they're plastered (IF the plaster decides to stick, and not fall off a wall at a time, as initially happened) and painted. But they've even put in styrofoam ceiling board and moulding. My brother joked that a fire would reduce your entire house to a hand-full of molten junk. An apt description - considering the stove and oven is placed next to and under a good deal of the stuff...
And now they're at the styrofoam building thing again.
This time they're putting a wheelchair access ramp up to the college gymnasium. With no regard for the building itself. It's a face-brick edifice, with ceramic tiled floors and steps, bordered by hand-worked metal railings. They've plonked a styrofoam and cement ramp over all that!
No regard for the original structure, or matching the style of building, or anything! And the styro isn't cheap - it costs the same as face-brick! It's just a helluva lot easier to build with.
They recently bashed down one of the original buildings, which was damaged by an earthquake in the 70s. All that's left is the foundation. I shudder to think what they're going to put on top of it....
Rant over!
I live and work on a campus that is nearly 100 years old. Many of the buildings are solid and beautiful - at least, the ones that were built years ago.
But 4 years ago they started building with styrofoam. Sure, it's easy - it's like building with Lego, unless you haven't yet filled it with cement, the wind comes up overnight and you find your carefully-put-together first stage blown all over the place! (Quite amusing from a distance). But I don't trust styrofoam and I don't like it. For one thing it's not exactly environmentally friendly. If left out in the air long enough it wears away into non-biodegradable "snow" of styro-pellets. Heat or flame make it melt into a choking mess of harsh chemicals. For another, if you want to knock in a picture nail, you have to drill 20cm deep to find the filler cement - and hope the plaster doesn't come off in slabs while you're at it. There's no noise containment, it's hot in summer and cold in winter - and cracks.
I was offered a 3-bedroom house built of styrofoam a year back, so we could move out of the one-bedroom flat we're in and have room to breathe. I turned it down. I'd rather not chance my health or safety on a fire-hazard of toxic compounds.
The places look OK once they're plastered (IF the plaster decides to stick, and not fall off a wall at a time, as initially happened) and painted. But they've even put in styrofoam ceiling board and moulding. My brother joked that a fire would reduce your entire house to a hand-full of molten junk. An apt description - considering the stove and oven is placed next to and under a good deal of the stuff...
And now they're at the styrofoam building thing again.
This time they're putting a wheelchair access ramp up to the college gymnasium. With no regard for the building itself. It's a face-brick edifice, with ceramic tiled floors and steps, bordered by hand-worked metal railings. They've plonked a styrofoam and cement ramp over all that!
No regard for the original structure, or matching the style of building, or anything! And the styro isn't cheap - it costs the same as face-brick! It's just a helluva lot easier to build with.
They recently bashed down one of the original buildings, which was damaged by an earthquake in the 70s. All that's left is the foundation. I shudder to think what they're going to put on top of it....
Rant over!
Hesistating...
I've just had a call from a good friend, asking if I'd like to get involved in a "project" she and her family are doing. It's something a number of people have asked me to do, so why am I hesitating?
You see, it's a church. Or ALMOST a church. She's gathering lost and forgotten folk from our local groups, ones who have slipped through the cracks or been beaten into submssion or have been burnt by religion. And joining them (all 50+ of them!) into a group that will meet together as a church every week!
I can name many folk who need this so desperately. I'm one of those who have slipped quietly out the door and never gone back. I should belong to this new church - and yet I'm not sure. I don't want to take that plunge and commit myself...
You see, they're going to first try the "proper channels", seeing the local head of the church for approval so they won't be seen as a splinter group. I did the same a few years ago when I wanted help in planting a church - one very different from what was going on then, but which would have been awesome if it succeeded. I got a bit of a cold reception - some enthusiasm, but a lot of "it's not going to work, and here's why". I suspect they're up against the same.
Whether it works or not, she wants to dive into Real Church, with worship services (something in me rebels against that two-word term, as commonly used) and programmes and a mid-week prayer meeting. I've suggested she start getting folk together around a meal every week now already, before their planned get-together date of beginning of May. She thinks it's a good idea, and will try it. Yet a big part of me balks at a weekly committment - either to a meal or to Real Church or to a mid-week meeting. I've been tied down by involvement for years, and then enjoyed freedom from any kind of involvement for a good few months. I prefer the latter. Yet my "worship talents" are needed. And they want me there.
I have this pull in the opposite direction, wanting to run away from it, yet I know it's a good thing they're doing. They're stepping in where there's a serious need and trying to connect people who feel lost and lonely, who have been rejected and trampled. It could be something absolutely awesome!
So why am I so hesitant to do this? What's holding me back from giving my full support? Why do I still almost WANT to be an outsider? Am I not yet done with my journey away, still too close to seek a journey back? Or is it the programme plan that's grating on me? A fear of being labelled, and member-ized and counted?
I'll be away in Australia when they get going. I wonder if my perspective will have changed when I return...
You see, it's a church. Or ALMOST a church. She's gathering lost and forgotten folk from our local groups, ones who have slipped through the cracks or been beaten into submssion or have been burnt by religion. And joining them (all 50+ of them!) into a group that will meet together as a church every week!
I can name many folk who need this so desperately. I'm one of those who have slipped quietly out the door and never gone back. I should belong to this new church - and yet I'm not sure. I don't want to take that plunge and commit myself...
You see, they're going to first try the "proper channels", seeing the local head of the church for approval so they won't be seen as a splinter group. I did the same a few years ago when I wanted help in planting a church - one very different from what was going on then, but which would have been awesome if it succeeded. I got a bit of a cold reception - some enthusiasm, but a lot of "it's not going to work, and here's why". I suspect they're up against the same.
Whether it works or not, she wants to dive into Real Church, with worship services (something in me rebels against that two-word term, as commonly used) and programmes and a mid-week prayer meeting. I've suggested she start getting folk together around a meal every week now already, before their planned get-together date of beginning of May. She thinks it's a good idea, and will try it. Yet a big part of me balks at a weekly committment - either to a meal or to Real Church or to a mid-week meeting. I've been tied down by involvement for years, and then enjoyed freedom from any kind of involvement for a good few months. I prefer the latter. Yet my "worship talents" are needed. And they want me there.
I have this pull in the opposite direction, wanting to run away from it, yet I know it's a good thing they're doing. They're stepping in where there's a serious need and trying to connect people who feel lost and lonely, who have been rejected and trampled. It could be something absolutely awesome!
So why am I so hesitant to do this? What's holding me back from giving my full support? Why do I still almost WANT to be an outsider? Am I not yet done with my journey away, still too close to seek a journey back? Or is it the programme plan that's grating on me? A fear of being labelled, and member-ized and counted?
I'll be away in Australia when they get going. I wonder if my perspective will have changed when I return...
Random Stuff at Day's End
Cleaning out mind-webs, and found these in some dusty corners of my head:
* Murphy's Law of Peanuts & Raisins: put a handful in your mouth and the phone will ring, even though it's been completely silent all day.
* Two Very Cool Words: Aromasphere (take a deep breath the next time you walk outside after a downpour, and you'll get this one) and Viewsician (creating music from visual elements).
* Murphy's Law of Peanuts & Raisins: put a handful in your mouth and the phone will ring, even though it's been completely silent all day.
* Two Very Cool Words: Aromasphere (take a deep breath the next time you walk outside after a downpour, and you'll get this one) and Viewsician (creating music from visual elements).
These Shoes Weren't Made for Walking
I have yet to afford winter shoes, ie shoes that aren't half-open to rain and wind and dust and all the other stuff you find when you have to walk to work every day. I'm hoping to get a pair in Australia...
However, the last time it rained I tried walking to work in my "usual" shoes, made of a sole section and a strip over the top of the foot, comfy but cold. By the time I'd gotten out the gate I was slipping all over them in the wet. Uphill was a disaster...!
This morning I put on my thinking cap and traipsed down the hill in takkies (sneakers, trainers - whatever you call them on your end of the planet). Work shoes in bag, umbrella over head. MUCH better.
Well, now it's raining again, and time to head home. I don't plan on slipping up the hill! So off with the fancy shoes, on with the takkies (check for hidden crickets first - they're still hanging around). Wish I could keep them on all day, but I don't think the bosses would like it....
However, the last time it rained I tried walking to work in my "usual" shoes, made of a sole section and a strip over the top of the foot, comfy but cold. By the time I'd gotten out the gate I was slipping all over them in the wet. Uphill was a disaster...!
This morning I put on my thinking cap and traipsed down the hill in takkies (sneakers, trainers - whatever you call them on your end of the planet). Work shoes in bag, umbrella over head. MUCH better.
Well, now it's raining again, and time to head home. I don't plan on slipping up the hill! So off with the fancy shoes, on with the takkies (check for hidden crickets first - they're still hanging around). Wish I could keep them on all day, but I don't think the bosses would like it....
Oh Man....
So off I trot happily on Friday afternoon to my bi-monthly weigh in at the clinic (part of another thing), secure in the knowledge that I've dropped a few kilo's, perhaps even 5!Jumped on the scale with a big grin on the face.
And found I've PICKED UP ONE KILO! No jolly fair, not after all that walking and living right and stuff I've been doing.
I'm sommer lus to go home and devour the entire tray of fudge I made yesterday, and all that's left of the choc chip cookies (no, I didn't eat them - the boy did).
What's all the getting up early and walking doing anyway???
Man, this sucks! :) (But I feel thin suddenly after seeing the pic with this post...!)
Extreme Weather
Sjoe! Yesterday was quite something! It started out windy, then got thundery, then rainy, then hot and sunny (and windy)... it just went on and on. A huge supercell came lumbering past, bringing with it the most extreme weather I think I've ever seen in the Cape.
Around 3:30 it got really, really dark (this pic was taken looking in the same direction as the first on on this post...). These huge black clouds moved in from Cape Town side and emptied themeselves on top of us. The entire time the wind shrieked by. By evening it was still gale-force, and I was a bit hesitant to head off to church. All along the road branches were being blown down, leaves and logs lying everywhere - and everyone swerving all over the place to avoid them.
As the service ended, we found a sky flashing constantly with sheet lightening. My son insisted we pray for a safe (10 minute) drive home, and we took an alternative route to the debris-strewn one. Near home there was a "clunk!" on the roof of the car. We'd just driven under a gum tree, so I thought it was a gumnut - then saw marble-sized hail exploding like snowballs on the road in front of me...We did a mad dash home and parked ourselves as far into a tree as we could - but fortunately the hailstorm had already passed us by.
My son and I unplugged everything electronic, then sat in my dark bedroom watching the lighting turn darkness into day. It took a while for him to sleep - with all the extreme weather going on outside he was somewhat fearful, but managed to calm down eventually.
Just after he went to bed I had another look out my window and saw something glowing on the sea. Grabbed the binoculars and managed to make out a boat on fire, obviously hit by a bolt of lightning! Who in their right mind goes out to sea in this weather????
The storm went on all night, thunder growing and waning, then driving rain against the windows. Half-formed imaginings of hail kept me semi-concious most of the night.
This morning we awoke to a wet and windy world, grey and foggy, but with the constant wind and wet still going.
Sure, we need rain - but does it have to come with THIS??? :)
::update::
Bloggers who were THERE include Sub.Soil, Cherryflava, eKapa (by proxy, as he mostly got to experience the after-effects...:)).
Seems the International Conference Centre in Cape Town lost its roof (can you say "bad design for the Cape of Storms"?).
One woman struck by lightning, hail from Strand to Durbanville. The usual overflowing roads and pipe systems, and the rain still goes on, and on, and on.
The best part of all this is that it's happening in the water-catchment areas for most of our major dams and rivers. They're filling up...
Being and Doing
I had this huge, great post on Being and Doing ready to go on Friday - only to have Blogger collapse as I tried to post it. But perhaps it was "fate" - this weekend more thoughts have been forming about Being and Doing. I'm going to try reconstruct a bit of the original post, and add in what's been going around my head too. It's been a while since I posted anything Christian, but here goes.
________________
I've been giving a lot of thought to Being vs Doing, particularly in the church area.
I grew up with a whole lot of Doing - going to church, attending meetings, getting involved in worship team and kid's church, going out to witness, holding membership etc. All those things that apparently make up normal church life.
All that activity can keep one REALLY busy, saying to the world "hey, look here, I'm a GOOD Christian! Look at all the stuff I'm doing!" And yet, one can sit in the same pew every week, wearing the same expression, doing the same things over and over - and still be maggots and darkness inside. No-one will ever know it. You're "fine" when anyone asks. You can keep it up for years!
I know, I did - not all the time, I did have my moments, but for a very long time.
Sure, I was the dedicated worship team member, always pitching up for appointments and training and services. But finally I couldn't take the contrast between inner and outer any more, and decided it was time to take a step back.
I needed to learn how to Be instead of just Do. And I felt I couldn't Do until I had Been for a while.
I still feel that way. Which is probably ironic, as we've being "Doing" church for the past two weekends, promting many to ask if we're back! (Last night my son insisted we attend - he even managed to eat, bath and get himself ready in 15 minutes to ensure we went)
But I still feel the Being is way more important than the Doing. I don't get the weekly pew-warming anymore, especially if there's no other indication that one is a Christian besides that one hour per week, or what you do when you're around the church building or church people during the week. I don't get worship teams and worship services (again, ironic - as I spent a good few years not only pushing them, but starting them and carrying them forward). Not that I have anything against them, but there are issues I have with the way things are done, the assumptions that are made about "needs" and what "worship" is and "excellence". I don't get it when people of one denomination sadly shake their heads at the fact that an entire island is of another denomination (poor, lost souls), but then turn around and be VERY unChristian to their neighbour. I don't get all the money being poured into buildings or events or evangelism. Couldn't it much rather be used to make a real difference in the community, even if it means we have no building to meet in, and hey - perhaps even have to meet in a HOME?! I don't get all the energy spent on maintaining the status quo while refugees and the poor and the lonely are left out in the cold. I don't get the in-fighting over petty issues (whether they be a difference in a specific doctrine, or how one should act, or a single word taken out of context - want examples? Just look around the blogosphere...)
All of which has made me rather suspicious of groups and people that see themselves as "right", having the "truth", insisting on (voluntary yet compulsory) attendance of meetings as a measure of how committed to God one is, or ostracizing someone simply because they feel led to attend a single service elsewhere (there's one lady here who is so scared of this that she simply won't dare, even though she's dying where she is). OK, so perhaps I sound bitter - but really, I'm not! Promise! It's just that my head is considering things very differently.
As a result I've found it hard to go back to church - though I've found it harder to get into "Christian community" outside the church, as everyone's holy-huddling! I find myself on the outside of the enthusiasm over programmes and budgets and new additions and meetings. I wonder what real difference it's making to the world outside the well-constructed walls. (As an aside, I read an interesting comment in an "organic church" article this weekend about building barns, then expecting the crops to come in and make themselves at home, instead of investing labour and getting your hands dirty out there first! Think about it - it makes a lot of sense...)
I still long to Be more than Do. I don't get it right though, much of the time. I struggle to love my neighbour - especially certain neighbours. I'm tight-fisted with my money (after years of struggle - but nothing compared to some!). I'm sometimes mean and nasty and not a good parent. I still let predjudice rule my perceptions of people. I know I'm spiritually messed up. I know I shouldn't judge others when I've got that big old log in my own eye - yet I still peer around it and point fingers.
The way I'm thinking lately would probably get me into trouble with many churches and denominations. Which is why I shut up and say nothing most of the time - and find it a strain to do so. I want to share what's going on in my head, but I know that many would never be able to understand my view, or hear what I'm saying - it's something outside of their mind-set, an option they'd never consider. Very often I feel like a complete outsider, while everyone is extolling the virtues of something or other I just don't see.
Yet I still feel it's something Very Very Important to think about, this Being instead of Doing. Or Being before Doing. It's what I'm trying to practice, even if it means I don't always look like a Christian (church attendance, giving to "causes", involvement in services etc.).
But it's a risk I'm willing to take.
I cannot do otherwise.
________________
I've been giving a lot of thought to Being vs Doing, particularly in the church area.
I grew up with a whole lot of Doing - going to church, attending meetings, getting involved in worship team and kid's church, going out to witness, holding membership etc. All those things that apparently make up normal church life.
All that activity can keep one REALLY busy, saying to the world "hey, look here, I'm a GOOD Christian! Look at all the stuff I'm doing!" And yet, one can sit in the same pew every week, wearing the same expression, doing the same things over and over - and still be maggots and darkness inside. No-one will ever know it. You're "fine" when anyone asks. You can keep it up for years!
I know, I did - not all the time, I did have my moments, but for a very long time.
Sure, I was the dedicated worship team member, always pitching up for appointments and training and services. But finally I couldn't take the contrast between inner and outer any more, and decided it was time to take a step back.
I needed to learn how to Be instead of just Do. And I felt I couldn't Do until I had Been for a while.
I still feel that way. Which is probably ironic, as we've being "Doing" church for the past two weekends, promting many to ask if we're back! (Last night my son insisted we attend - he even managed to eat, bath and get himself ready in 15 minutes to ensure we went)
But I still feel the Being is way more important than the Doing. I don't get the weekly pew-warming anymore, especially if there's no other indication that one is a Christian besides that one hour per week, or what you do when you're around the church building or church people during the week. I don't get worship teams and worship services (again, ironic - as I spent a good few years not only pushing them, but starting them and carrying them forward). Not that I have anything against them, but there are issues I have with the way things are done, the assumptions that are made about "needs" and what "worship" is and "excellence". I don't get it when people of one denomination sadly shake their heads at the fact that an entire island is of another denomination (poor, lost souls), but then turn around and be VERY unChristian to their neighbour. I don't get all the money being poured into buildings or events or evangelism. Couldn't it much rather be used to make a real difference in the community, even if it means we have no building to meet in, and hey - perhaps even have to meet in a HOME?! I don't get all the energy spent on maintaining the status quo while refugees and the poor and the lonely are left out in the cold. I don't get the in-fighting over petty issues (whether they be a difference in a specific doctrine, or how one should act, or a single word taken out of context - want examples? Just look around the blogosphere...)
All of which has made me rather suspicious of groups and people that see themselves as "right", having the "truth", insisting on (voluntary yet compulsory) attendance of meetings as a measure of how committed to God one is, or ostracizing someone simply because they feel led to attend a single service elsewhere (there's one lady here who is so scared of this that she simply won't dare, even though she's dying where she is). OK, so perhaps I sound bitter - but really, I'm not! Promise! It's just that my head is considering things very differently.
As a result I've found it hard to go back to church - though I've found it harder to get into "Christian community" outside the church, as everyone's holy-huddling! I find myself on the outside of the enthusiasm over programmes and budgets and new additions and meetings. I wonder what real difference it's making to the world outside the well-constructed walls. (As an aside, I read an interesting comment in an "organic church" article this weekend about building barns, then expecting the crops to come in and make themselves at home, instead of investing labour and getting your hands dirty out there first! Think about it - it makes a lot of sense...)
I still long to Be more than Do. I don't get it right though, much of the time. I struggle to love my neighbour - especially certain neighbours. I'm tight-fisted with my money (after years of struggle - but nothing compared to some!). I'm sometimes mean and nasty and not a good parent. I still let predjudice rule my perceptions of people. I know I'm spiritually messed up. I know I shouldn't judge others when I've got that big old log in my own eye - yet I still peer around it and point fingers.
The way I'm thinking lately would probably get me into trouble with many churches and denominations. Which is why I shut up and say nothing most of the time - and find it a strain to do so. I want to share what's going on in my head, but I know that many would never be able to understand my view, or hear what I'm saying - it's something outside of their mind-set, an option they'd never consider. Very often I feel like a complete outsider, while everyone is extolling the virtues of something or other I just don't see.
Yet I still feel it's something Very Very Important to think about, this Being instead of Doing. Or Being before Doing. It's what I'm trying to practice, even if it means I don't always look like a Christian (church attendance, giving to "causes", involvement in services etc.).
But it's a risk I'm willing to take.
I cannot do otherwise.
Shabbat Shalom
Am posting this via the "back door" (Flickr), as Blugger is Boggered again and I can't access any aspect of my blog....
But anyhoo.
This was taken early this morning, through a thin veil of nearly-there mist. Doesn't God paint some awesome stuff on the sky at times?!
Blessings and peace this weekend.
But anyhoo.
This was taken early this morning, through a thin veil of nearly-there mist. Doesn't God paint some awesome stuff on the sky at times?!
Blessings and peace this weekend.
BlogLite
Not much to blog on today, as I'm too busy living. I've got to work reception this morning, teach an hour, AND still go help my son sell stuff over lunchtime. Inbetween all that I'm supposed to get my usual work done, which has been sorely neglected recently.
But I have managed to get a bit further down my to-do list for our trip. The box of "things to take" is filling up, and all the stuff I have to organize here is falling into place.
So this blog will be on the quiet side for today. Gotta be in the real world for a bit.
But I have managed to get a bit further down my to-do list for our trip. The box of "things to take" is filling up, and all the stuff I have to organize here is falling into place.
So this blog will be on the quiet side for today. Gotta be in the real world for a bit.
Freaky....
Something is eating dead crickets. Something BIG. Something IN MY OFFICE!
I've just noticed that the 4 carcasses left in the corners for vacuum attention later are now in little pieces, with many bits missing.... ALL of them.
I don't want to even consider what might be hiding behind the filing cabinet, that can do that to cricket bodies without blinking an eyelid (or compound eye). That would just plain freak me out!
Instead, I choose to think that crickets are cannibals. There's a rather large one that's just come out of hiding to cross the floor.
Yup, that must be it.
I've just noticed that the 4 carcasses left in the corners for vacuum attention later are now in little pieces, with many bits missing.... ALL of them.
I don't want to even consider what might be hiding behind the filing cabinet, that can do that to cricket bodies without blinking an eyelid (or compound eye). That would just plain freak me out!
Instead, I choose to think that crickets are cannibals. There's a rather large one that's just come out of hiding to cross the floor.
Yup, that must be it.
Sorting things out
In case you DID happen to see the post I wrote yesterday, and then deleted, my brother and I have had a long chat, and a few emails back and forth, and have sorted out our differences.
There were a number of misunderstandings on both sides regarding donations and landing with one's bum in the butter, and I think we've found some seriously steady common ground to continue building our relationships on. We both jumped to conclusions, but have set those aside and moved on.
Thank goodness!
I know some families who let things bubble beneath the surface for years, creating bitterness and anger that is never really expressed but just plain ruins any chance of closeness.
We haven't. I'm really glad we haven't.
Onwards and upwards!
There were a number of misunderstandings on both sides regarding donations and landing with one's bum in the butter, and I think we've found some seriously steady common ground to continue building our relationships on. We both jumped to conclusions, but have set those aside and moved on.
Thank goodness!
I know some families who let things bubble beneath the surface for years, creating bitterness and anger that is never really expressed but just plain ruins any chance of closeness.
We haven't. I'm really glad we haven't.
Onwards and upwards!
3 weeks and 2 days....
Our visitor's visas have been granted! Yay! So we are really, truly going, at last.
I'm still overwhelmed at how this has all worked out, and how quickly too. I can never thank enough those who helped get us this far.
But now with 3 weeks (and counting) to go, I've also realized how much I still need to do.
* I've been without a will for too long - time to get one, just in case something happens to me (either here or there). As a single parent, it's essential - unless I want my son to become a ward of the state. But I'm having trouble figuring out guardians, and all the fiddly bits.
* I have to organize travel insurance for my son. Mine was covered by the bank (free) when I paid by credit card, but not his. (done)
* I also need to check with the bank regarding the best way to take cash with us - traveller's cheques, actual cash, or should I just on the sly transfer an amount as a "gift" to dad's account for him to pay us out there? And what kind of currency should I take for KL airport - if we need to phone re a plane delay, or buy something to eat/read/whatever? Hope they can advise... (done)
* I have to work with my son on a holiday project plan to hand to his teacher, and start compiling a daily routine that will get his project under control. We're working on a diary sort of thing, noting number of km's travelled each day, sticking in tickets and brochures from wherever we visited, photos from events and experiences, and notes on things we found/learnt/did.
* Packing lists are growing. So are the "things to take" lists. Need to finalize what's going and what isn't. (Told you I over-plan! :) )
* Need to make the dog-care list for our neighbours, with vet details, our contacts overseas, info on who needs what to avoid dog-fights, and what to do if something happens to us. And what to do with the lone goldfish.
* Also need to check with my mechanic about leaving the car at his place while we're away for him to go over and fix, and then picking it up on the way back from the airport on our return. May leave a cash cheque for a certain amount with him, and ask him to do what he can within that amount, to avoid him going wild and fixing everything in sight.
* Still need to check with another neighbour about watering our valuable plants - the roses, the tomatoes, the herbs. The grass can lump it for a few weeks and take what it can get in rainfall.
* Gotta put all my passwords and logins into my Little Black Book, so I can access the various websites I depend on for existance while overseas.
I'm pretty sure there's more, but suddenly I'm feeling overwhelmed already! :) Time to get to it...
I'm still overwhelmed at how this has all worked out, and how quickly too. I can never thank enough those who helped get us this far.
But now with 3 weeks (and counting) to go, I've also realized how much I still need to do.
* I've been without a will for too long - time to get one, just in case something happens to me (either here or there). As a single parent, it's essential - unless I want my son to become a ward of the state. But I'm having trouble figuring out guardians, and all the fiddly bits.
* I have to organize travel insurance for my son. Mine was covered by the bank (free) when I paid by credit card, but not his. (done)
* I also need to check with the bank regarding the best way to take cash with us - traveller's cheques, actual cash, or should I just on the sly transfer an amount as a "gift" to dad's account for him to pay us out there? And what kind of currency should I take for KL airport - if we need to phone re a plane delay, or buy something to eat/read/whatever? Hope they can advise... (done)
* I have to work with my son on a holiday project plan to hand to his teacher, and start compiling a daily routine that will get his project under control. We're working on a diary sort of thing, noting number of km's travelled each day, sticking in tickets and brochures from wherever we visited, photos from events and experiences, and notes on things we found/learnt/did.
* Packing lists are growing. So are the "things to take" lists. Need to finalize what's going and what isn't. (Told you I over-plan! :) )
* Need to make the dog-care list for our neighbours, with vet details, our contacts overseas, info on who needs what to avoid dog-fights, and what to do if something happens to us. And what to do with the lone goldfish.
* Also need to check with my mechanic about leaving the car at his place while we're away for him to go over and fix, and then picking it up on the way back from the airport on our return. May leave a cash cheque for a certain amount with him, and ask him to do what he can within that amount, to avoid him going wild and fixing everything in sight.
* Still need to check with another neighbour about watering our valuable plants - the roses, the tomatoes, the herbs. The grass can lump it for a few weeks and take what it can get in rainfall.
* Gotta put all my passwords and logins into my Little Black Book, so I can access the various websites I depend on for existance while overseas.
I'm pretty sure there's more, but suddenly I'm feeling overwhelmed already! :) Time to get to it...
Unexpected Honesty
After work yesterday I did a quick trip into town to buy supplies - my son's Entrepreneur's Day is tomorrow, which means he had to obtain a trading licence for a table, and now has to sell things. Apparently the school starts developing a love of money and ability to make a quick buck in the kids from year 2... But that's besides the point of this post.
Well, what with buying everything needed and handing over a single large note, there was some confusion at the till once I added a charitable donation for an elastic arm band (still not sure what I supported...). The change had to be worked out "in the head", and was handed to me amid confusion. I didn't even check it.
Just as I was climbing into my car, the till lady came running out after me. She had short-changed me by a few small bucks, and wanted to make sure she gave me the correct cash!
I was suprised, pleasantly, to find such honesty in a low-paid till worker. It's not every day you come across it!
Today I'm writing a letter to the Pick 'n Pay management of the Somerset West branch, commending the actions of Britgette Zas. Good on ya, girl!
Well, what with buying everything needed and handing over a single large note, there was some confusion at the till once I added a charitable donation for an elastic arm band (still not sure what I supported...). The change had to be worked out "in the head", and was handed to me amid confusion. I didn't even check it.
Just as I was climbing into my car, the till lady came running out after me. She had short-changed me by a few small bucks, and wanted to make sure she gave me the correct cash!
I was suprised, pleasantly, to find such honesty in a low-paid till worker. It's not every day you come across it!
Today I'm writing a letter to the Pick 'n Pay management of the Somerset West branch, commending the actions of Britgette Zas. Good on ya, girl!
More Nothing to Say
There's also something I'd like to say about THESE two, but can't. Yet.
Which is why I'm finding it hard to blog on anything worth reading today. I know what I want to say, but am not able to.
The Whole Story coming soon - promise!
::update::
And here's THIS Whole Story. These are my two younger brothers, Alan and Brian. After I emailed Alan last week, he decided to go over to see my parents, and convinced Brian to go too. They'll be arriving in Australia while we're still there, and leaving slightly after us. Mia is travelling too, as this might be her last chance to do so for a while (see below post for why).
There was more to this post, but it's not something I feel I should have posted, so it's been taken down. (Rodney saw and commented on what I wrote, but that's about it). If you simply HAVE to know what was here, email me! :)
Which is why I'm finding it hard to blog on anything worth reading today. I know what I want to say, but am not able to.
The Whole Story coming soon - promise!
::update::
And here's THIS Whole Story. These are my two younger brothers, Alan and Brian. After I emailed Alan last week, he decided to go over to see my parents, and convinced Brian to go too. They'll be arriving in Australia while we're still there, and leaving slightly after us. Mia is travelling too, as this might be her last chance to do so for a while (see below post for why).
There was more to this post, but it's not something I feel I should have posted, so it's been taken down. (Rodney saw and commented on what I wrote, but that's about it). If you simply HAVE to know what was here, email me! :)
Nothing to Say
There's something I'd like to say about these two, but I can't. Yet.
It's a bit like wanting to pee, but being in the middle of a performance on stage where you simply can't leave...
Well, SOMETHING like that.
Check back a good deal lot later for the Whole Story, once the duct tape has been removed from my mouth.
In the meantime I'm going to sit on my hands so I can't type.
::update::
Well, here's the Whole Story - I'm going to be an aunt again! This is my brother Alan and his wife, and they're expecting. She's about 9 weeks along, and it wasn't planned, but the timing is good. So far everything is fine, the "tadpole" is swimming well, and they're looking forward to the parenting experience. My other sis-in-law and I had bets going that she'd be pregnant by the end of the year. Little did we know...
It's a bit like wanting to pee, but being in the middle of a performance on stage where you simply can't leave...
Well, SOMETHING like that.
Check back a good deal lot later for the Whole Story, once the duct tape has been removed from my mouth.
In the meantime I'm going to sit on my hands so I can't type.
::update::
Well, here's the Whole Story - I'm going to be an aunt again! This is my brother Alan and his wife, and they're expecting. She's about 9 weeks along, and it wasn't planned, but the timing is good. So far everything is fine, the "tadpole" is swimming well, and they're looking forward to the parenting experience. My other sis-in-law and I had bets going that she'd be pregnant by the end of the year. Little did we know...
Welcome Home!
We went to church last night - back to the church where I last served on a worship team, the church we attended 8 months and 2 days ago. It's been a long time, but we took the plunge and went back. My son insisted that we go (how many kids do that?!).
From the minute we walked in the door we were surrounded by people welcoming us, hugging us, excited to see us again. We parked ourselves in the back pew, but were rushed again after the service.
It was awesome to be enfolded by people who care! Folk I thought had forgotten me - but who were ready to "put you on the roster", get me back into being involved and needed the minute I arrived. People who had been wondering where I was, who thought I'd left the country, who had been wanting to contact me but didn't know where to reach me (I never ended up on the church directory list, as I was never officially a member).
My son took things to keep him busy during the sermon (we've done that since birth), but put them away after a few minutes and listened to Greg's excellent message on honouring your parents. I was quite surprised! But perhaps he's just reached that stage, where he doesn't need entertaining anymore.
We had fun picking out new features in the church (aircon on the walls, new backstage curtains, big palm trees on stage replaced by little bushy plants in pots etc.), and noting with pleasure the many, many new faces in the overflowing pews of youth. This has always been a church filled with vibrant, real, exciting youth. The kind of group that you don't find often - one that is blessed and raised and supported by every single member of the congregation. They bring me to tears regularly - and last night was no exception. Greg called for those who wanted to make right a past of not honouring God and their parents to come forward during the final song (I guess you could call it an altar call), to just be with God at the front and commit to making things new. They streamed forward, they prayed, they hugged each other. The guys who looked the wildest were the guys most involved in worship. There's something deep and wonderful in their lives, thanks to the community they belong to.
So we went back to church. And we may continue to go. It felt like coming home.
From the minute we walked in the door we were surrounded by people welcoming us, hugging us, excited to see us again. We parked ourselves in the back pew, but were rushed again after the service.
It was awesome to be enfolded by people who care! Folk I thought had forgotten me - but who were ready to "put you on the roster", get me back into being involved and needed the minute I arrived. People who had been wondering where I was, who thought I'd left the country, who had been wanting to contact me but didn't know where to reach me (I never ended up on the church directory list, as I was never officially a member).
My son took things to keep him busy during the sermon (we've done that since birth), but put them away after a few minutes and listened to Greg's excellent message on honouring your parents. I was quite surprised! But perhaps he's just reached that stage, where he doesn't need entertaining anymore.
We had fun picking out new features in the church (aircon on the walls, new backstage curtains, big palm trees on stage replaced by little bushy plants in pots etc.), and noting with pleasure the many, many new faces in the overflowing pews of youth. This has always been a church filled with vibrant, real, exciting youth. The kind of group that you don't find often - one that is blessed and raised and supported by every single member of the congregation. They bring me to tears regularly - and last night was no exception. Greg called for those who wanted to make right a past of not honouring God and their parents to come forward during the final song (I guess you could call it an altar call), to just be with God at the front and commit to making things new. They streamed forward, they prayed, they hugged each other. The guys who looked the wildest were the guys most involved in worship. There's something deep and wonderful in their lives, thanks to the community they belong to.
So we went back to church. And we may continue to go. It felt like coming home.
Experiments in Hair Colour
Wandering the mall on Friday, I noticed that hair colour was going for 1/4 the usual price on a certain brand. Now, I'm naturally blonde, but tend toward mousey-dark at the roots in winter when my head gets less sunlight. So of course I grabbed the opportunity for a "lift", hoping to brighten up the hair a bit. I grabbed the shade nearest to what I thought I wanted, and was off!
Sunday was the Big Day. Pulled on the gloves, mixed up some seriously ammonia-laced chemicals, draped the towel and applied the colour.
Ten minutes later it was time to wash it out, but it looked rather darker than "blonde" usually is... Oh well, I thought. It usually washes out dark, but then looks lighter when it's dry.
Was I ever wrong!
Not only was it still pretty dark-coloured, but now I had reddish tints! And the blonde ends had darkened too...
After the surprise (shock) wore off, I decided I actually like the way the colour turned out. My son reckons it makes me look younger (always a plus!). I've got a basic idea of what a darker, chestnut-brown colour might look like - something I've been too chicken to attempt until now. And with a nice cut I think I could take the plunge to something dramatically different!
Not what I expected, but not altogether bad. However, I know now why the colour was so cheap...
Sunday was the Big Day. Pulled on the gloves, mixed up some seriously ammonia-laced chemicals, draped the towel and applied the colour.
Ten minutes later it was time to wash it out, but it looked rather darker than "blonde" usually is... Oh well, I thought. It usually washes out dark, but then looks lighter when it's dry.
Was I ever wrong!
Not only was it still pretty dark-coloured, but now I had reddish tints! And the blonde ends had darkened too...
After the surprise (shock) wore off, I decided I actually like the way the colour turned out. My son reckons it makes me look younger (always a plus!). I've got a basic idea of what a darker, chestnut-brown colour might look like - something I've been too chicken to attempt until now. And with a nice cut I think I could take the plunge to something dramatically different!
Not what I expected, but not altogether bad. However, I know now why the colour was so cheap...
Talk-in-Rhyme-Day
I think I will try create a post
With lines that tend to rhyme
It probably won't be too hard
Just hope I have the time...
You see, my brain is blank again
And this, I greatly fear
Will lead to yet another post
You really didn't want to hear
So - weather. Yes, let's talk 'bout that
It's relevant every day
It makes for boring conversation
But gives us something to say
Well, here we're freezing all our toes
And a good few fingers too
The skies are muddled up with clouds
And mornings filled with dew
At night the heater gets hauled out
The duvets go on double
Hot drinks for supper, everyone!
I think my weight's in trouble...
It seems we skipped autumn right by
Although the leaves are falling
And now it's time to change the subject
It's getting rather boring!
Weekend at last, oh thankfully
And time to do some sleeping
You see, I stayed up way too late
Last night. Now trouble keeping
My eyelids up, myself at work
In bed I'd rather huddle
But Saturdays and Sundays mean
With dogs (in bed) I get to cuddle
Until around mid-morning, then
It's up for long, slow breakfast
With coffee fresh, and toast still hot
(and now I can't find anything that rhymes with breakfast...)
But first, this afternoon we get
To wander round the mall
And look at this, and look at that
And generally have a ball
I think a lunch at Spur is on
If my son cleans up first
Holidays mean all his toys
Out of their boxes burst
And lie around all over the place
To be stepped on in the night
Do you know what Lego feels like
On bare feet, when there's no light???
Before this turns into an epic
I'd better curb my poem
Besides, a mere hour and a half
And then I'm going home!
With lines that tend to rhyme
It probably won't be too hard
Just hope I have the time...
You see, my brain is blank again
And this, I greatly fear
Will lead to yet another post
You really didn't want to hear
So - weather. Yes, let's talk 'bout that
It's relevant every day
It makes for boring conversation
But gives us something to say
Well, here we're freezing all our toes
And a good few fingers too
The skies are muddled up with clouds
And mornings filled with dew
At night the heater gets hauled out
The duvets go on double
Hot drinks for supper, everyone!
I think my weight's in trouble...
It seems we skipped autumn right by
Although the leaves are falling
And now it's time to change the subject
It's getting rather boring!
Weekend at last, oh thankfully
And time to do some sleeping
You see, I stayed up way too late
Last night. Now trouble keeping
My eyelids up, myself at work
In bed I'd rather huddle
But Saturdays and Sundays mean
With dogs (in bed) I get to cuddle
Until around mid-morning, then
It's up for long, slow breakfast
With coffee fresh, and toast still hot
(and now I can't find anything that rhymes with breakfast...)
But first, this afternoon we get
To wander round the mall
And look at this, and look at that
And generally have a ball
I think a lunch at Spur is on
If my son cleans up first
Holidays mean all his toys
Out of their boxes burst
And lie around all over the place
To be stepped on in the night
Do you know what Lego feels like
On bare feet, when there's no light???
Before this turns into an epic
I'd better curb my poem
Besides, a mere hour and a half
And then I'm going home!
To Be(lieve) or not to Be(lieve)
It's THAT day again, and although certain bloggers are getting as much mileage as they can out of it, I'm trying not to.
In fact, I'm not terribly fond of this day at all. Mainly because I hate being made a fool of.
I'm treating everything with a pinch of salt this morning - from the online news articles in by email to announcements made to staff to anything anyone says. Suspicious old me, I'm afraid. I think I'll go crawl into a box somewhere safe... :)
::update::
OK, so I couldn't resist pulling ONE off. I told my parents our visitor's visa application had been rejected, and nearly caused a double heart attack!:) Let's just hope joke doesn't turn to reality though, as we have yet to hear whether it's been processed or not.
In fact, I'm not terribly fond of this day at all. Mainly because I hate being made a fool of.
I'm treating everything with a pinch of salt this morning - from the online news articles in by email to announcements made to staff to anything anyone says. Suspicious old me, I'm afraid. I think I'll go crawl into a box somewhere safe... :)
::update::
OK, so I couldn't resist pulling ONE off. I told my parents our visitor's visa application had been rejected, and nearly caused a double heart attack!:) Let's just hope joke doesn't turn to reality though, as we have yet to hear whether it's been processed or not.
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