Just tried to post a reply to comments on my blog and got this messsage:
Please wait at least 30 seconds between posts (another 18669 second(s)).
What the...? :)
That makes it 10 hours, 37 minutes and 20 seconds until I get to reply to anything, so I guess I won't be doing THAT today!
Happy-Sad/Sad-Happy
My son has just received an envelope from his dad with a card, photos and some bookmarks - the first direct communication he's had with him.
And I realized my life as a single parent is about to get harder.
First temptation was to open the envelope and check out what J was receiving - which I resisted. Next temptation was to hang around and see what he took out - and I managed to make myself scarce for that. Next temptation was to ask what he wrote - and I resisted that one too.
But J couldn't read what was written - so I had to. And that's when I realized things are going to only get harder.
He mentioned he can't change the past, but is working toward the future so he can in some way be family. Which is only right, I guess - but hard on me emotionally. I'm not used to sharing my son, or consulting someone else when I decide to do something or other with/for/on behalf of him. It's only yesterday that I sent an email saying I need to get some sort of legal custody document sorted out (haven't bothered until now), so we can travel in future without hassle (it was a nightmare just going on holiday to Australia, with regard to proving I wasn't taking my son anywhere illegally). I'm hoping that any legal documents claiming my sole custodionship will not be challenged - but what if they are?
And how do I let my son get to know his dad, without standing in either's way, yet still looking out for J's best interest and protecting him where I feel it would be best?
I've had it easy up to now - REAL easy. Things are changing though. And as happy as I am that J will know his dad cares - will HAVE a dad in a manner of speaking, I suddenly just want to sit down and have a good long cry.
And I realized my life as a single parent is about to get harder.
First temptation was to open the envelope and check out what J was receiving - which I resisted. Next temptation was to hang around and see what he took out - and I managed to make myself scarce for that. Next temptation was to ask what he wrote - and I resisted that one too.
But J couldn't read what was written - so I had to. And that's when I realized things are going to only get harder.
He mentioned he can't change the past, but is working toward the future so he can in some way be family. Which is only right, I guess - but hard on me emotionally. I'm not used to sharing my son, or consulting someone else when I decide to do something or other with/for/on behalf of him. It's only yesterday that I sent an email saying I need to get some sort of legal custody document sorted out (haven't bothered until now), so we can travel in future without hassle (it was a nightmare just going on holiday to Australia, with regard to proving I wasn't taking my son anywhere illegally). I'm hoping that any legal documents claiming my sole custodionship will not be challenged - but what if they are?
And how do I let my son get to know his dad, without standing in either's way, yet still looking out for J's best interest and protecting him where I feel it would be best?
I've had it easy up to now - REAL easy. Things are changing though. And as happy as I am that J will know his dad cares - will HAVE a dad in a manner of speaking, I suddenly just want to sit down and have a good long cry.
Pictures Worth a Thousand Words
(simply because I don't seem to have even a hundred words today... enjoy the silence!)
Haloscan getting sucky
Anyone else having major problems with Haloscan? Even if you were, I doubt whether you'd be able to comment to that effect.
Over the past few days I've had to repeatedly "force" comments to update the number - and then this morning I replied to a few comments and mine simply didn't show!
I'm used to Blogger doing its thing (but hey, it's been pretty good lately so perhaps they've killed the bugs), but Haloscan is generally quite reliable. It's just really irritating when it decides not to co-operate.
Over the past few days I've had to repeatedly "force" comments to update the number - and then this morning I replied to a few comments and mine simply didn't show!
I'm used to Blogger doing its thing (but hey, it's been pretty good lately so perhaps they've killed the bugs), but Haloscan is generally quite reliable. It's just really irritating when it decides not to co-operate.
Always take your camera...
I've started toting my camera up the hill with me over lunchtime (usually it just stays behind in my handbag, locked in the office). I've missed too many photo-ops not to do so!
Yesterday, as I headed down the hill something brown, black and white flew up and away in front of me. There's no birds like that around here, so I did a double-take and then went creeping up to where I thought I saw it land. No ways - an African Hoopoe! We don't get them naturally here (they prefer the bushveld instead of our fynbos environment), and I've only seen them twice in the many years I've lived here. We have a large Southern Africa bird book, and note what we see and when - except for the Usual Birds who beg for seed every day on the front lawn: weavers, doves, pigeons, bulbulls...
I rushed down to the office and grabbed the camera to get a shot - but by the time I came back, it had completely disappeared. Darnit!
Today I went armed and ready, stepping carefully and keeping my eyes open. But all I found was a Malachite sunbird - and I see him nearly every day, along with his red-chested emerald cousins. And the usual compliment of Robins, Shrikes, Cape Batis's and White-eyes....
From now on, where I go the camera goes!
Yesterday, as I headed down the hill something brown, black and white flew up and away in front of me. There's no birds like that around here, so I did a double-take and then went creeping up to where I thought I saw it land. No ways - an African Hoopoe! We don't get them naturally here (they prefer the bushveld instead of our fynbos environment), and I've only seen them twice in the many years I've lived here. We have a large Southern Africa bird book, and note what we see and when - except for the Usual Birds who beg for seed every day on the front lawn: weavers, doves, pigeons, bulbulls...
I rushed down to the office and grabbed the camera to get a shot - but by the time I came back, it had completely disappeared. Darnit!
Today I went armed and ready, stepping carefully and keeping my eyes open. But all I found was a Malachite sunbird - and I see him nearly every day, along with his red-chested emerald cousins. And the usual compliment of Robins, Shrikes, Cape Batis's and White-eyes....
From now on, where I go the camera goes!
Delete
Ever arrived at your blog one morning and just wanted to hit this button?
Get rid of the entire blog/s? I nearly did this morning. Dunno why, but every now and then I get this "why continue?" thing, and almost, ALMOST delete the blog. Either I'm sick of myself and my feeble thoughts, or realize my words might come back to haunt me, or feel I can never really say what I mean, or whatever.
What stops me? The people I connect with through it, the record of my past thoughts and ideas and everyday rambling. The addiction to putting it all out there and seeing what happens, and the addiction to checking my site stats.
Perhaps one day I will. For now, blog, you live to see another day! Count your blessings.
Get rid of the entire blog/s? I nearly did this morning. Dunno why, but every now and then I get this "why continue?" thing, and almost, ALMOST delete the blog. Either I'm sick of myself and my feeble thoughts, or realize my words might come back to haunt me, or feel I can never really say what I mean, or whatever.
What stops me? The people I connect with through it, the record of my past thoughts and ideas and everyday rambling. The addiction to putting it all out there and seeing what happens, and the addiction to checking my site stats.
Perhaps one day I will. For now, blog, you live to see another day! Count your blessings.
Learnt Something New!
When I was a kid, our allowance was operated on the star-chart system. Do a task, get a gold star, add them up each week and get paid accordingly. We had "brushed my teeth", "made my bed", all those things it's hard to get kids to do (ask me, I've got a kid now and I know!!!) It worked well, until my parents noticed I was making nearly as much cash as they were... :)
One of the items on the chart was "learnt something new today". If we could tell mom what we'd learnt, we'd get to stick a gold star in the space provided. It motivated us to keep learning and exploring.
I still find myself wondering as an adult, "Did I learn something new today?" every now and then. If I have, I give myself a mental gold star! It's a principle I'd like to carry with me forever, this constant learning and growing and mind-expanding. Except some days I forget - and I come home without having learnt a single new thing at all. It's just been humdrum same-old stuff, and my head is filled to exactly the same level it was that morning.
Perhaps I need to put up a star-chart to keep me at it every day. Except, instead of gold stars, I may just reward myself with chocolate! :)
One of the items on the chart was "learnt something new today". If we could tell mom what we'd learnt, we'd get to stick a gold star in the space provided. It motivated us to keep learning and exploring.
I still find myself wondering as an adult, "Did I learn something new today?" every now and then. If I have, I give myself a mental gold star! It's a principle I'd like to carry with me forever, this constant learning and growing and mind-expanding. Except some days I forget - and I come home without having learnt a single new thing at all. It's just been humdrum same-old stuff, and my head is filled to exactly the same level it was that morning.
Perhaps I need to put up a star-chart to keep me at it every day. Except, instead of gold stars, I may just reward myself with chocolate! :)
Buy Cheap, Get Cheap
While in Australia, I came across one of those lovely little Asian stalls selling things so cheaply you wonder if they're making anything on it at all! They had batteries for sale - a dollar for 20! Having just discovered my digital camera eats batteries for lunch every day, I thought that would be handy to have around.
Unfortunately, it seems that the batteries were not only cheap, but rather lacking in an essential ingredient - power... Put them in the camera, and the intelligent beast asks for REAL food, not even willing to bend its snooty nose to acknowledge the presence of something calling itself a battery.
All 20 batteries simply don't work in the digital camera.
So we brought them home with a view to trying them on other, less-snooty apparatus, like the remotes, and the torches we keep handy by the phone. They sorta worked in the remotes, but the torches produced less than a candle's worth of light - and soon none at all.
Our cheap stuff has now been relegated to office clocks and other devices that don't care what they eat.
And I've invested in rechargeables, with a charger.
Unfortunately, it seems that the batteries were not only cheap, but rather lacking in an essential ingredient - power... Put them in the camera, and the intelligent beast asks for REAL food, not even willing to bend its snooty nose to acknowledge the presence of something calling itself a battery.
All 20 batteries simply don't work in the digital camera.
So we brought them home with a view to trying them on other, less-snooty apparatus, like the remotes, and the torches we keep handy by the phone. They sorta worked in the remotes, but the torches produced less than a candle's worth of light - and soon none at all.
Our cheap stuff has now been relegated to office clocks and other devices that don't care what they eat.
And I've invested in rechargeables, with a charger.
Flagged and Tagged
Just when I thought I was done for the day, Chitty went and tagged me!
Three screen names I've had: IntelliBlonde (in my online dating days!), mbainb, serenitydawn
Three things you like about yourself: not afriad to dream big, gorgeously blue eyes, eternal optimist.
Three things I don't like about myself: hips, thighs, cynacism.
Three parts of my heritage: sea-faring ancestors (which should say a lot!), survived the Rhodesian war, born of farming stock.
Three things that scare me: things with more than 4 legs & lots of feelers, losing my son, palpably evil nightmares where you're too scared to wake up and open your eyes - just in case it's real.
Three of your everyday essentials: g-string, contact lenses, coffee
Three things you are wearing right now: g-string, contact lenses, coffee - oh, wait! No, I'm not wearing coffee. Ummm... takkies! :) (YES, to work - I lack winter shoes and ain't gonna freeze my tootsies off)
Three of my favorite songs: Love Bites (Def Leppard), O Fortuna (original club mix), Fields of Gold (Sting)
Things I want in a relationship: someone other than myself (preferably), honesty, fun.
Two truths and a lie: I've felt up a total stranger on an airplane, I can play the flute, I have driven a train from Pretoria to Johannesburg
Three things I can't do without: fresh air, open space, sunshine
Three places you want to go on vacation: Amazon, Himalayas, Outback Australia
Three things you just can't do: breakdance, dive into a pool off a diving board, the splits
Three kids names: Shane, Kieran, Aravis
Things you want to do before you die: live, live, and live some more
Three celeb crushes: that "there can be only one" guy - Adrian Paul, Jean Claude van Damme (but only because of his feelable butt...), Brendan Fraser (as he appears in "The Mummy", but NOT in "George of the Jungle"!)
Three people you want to know these things about: Marc of Durbz Blog (because he claims he has nothing to blog most days), KellyWell, and Flip.
Three screen names I've had: IntelliBlonde (in my online dating days!), mbainb, serenitydawn
Three things you like about yourself: not afriad to dream big, gorgeously blue eyes, eternal optimist.
Three things I don't like about myself: hips, thighs, cynacism.
Three parts of my heritage: sea-faring ancestors (which should say a lot!), survived the Rhodesian war, born of farming stock.
Three things that scare me: things with more than 4 legs & lots of feelers, losing my son, palpably evil nightmares where you're too scared to wake up and open your eyes - just in case it's real.
Three of your everyday essentials: g-string, contact lenses, coffee
Three things you are wearing right now: g-string, contact lenses, coffee - oh, wait! No, I'm not wearing coffee. Ummm... takkies! :) (YES, to work - I lack winter shoes and ain't gonna freeze my tootsies off)
Three of my favorite songs: Love Bites (Def Leppard), O Fortuna (original club mix), Fields of Gold (Sting)
Things I want in a relationship: someone other than myself (preferably), honesty, fun.
Two truths and a lie: I've felt up a total stranger on an airplane, I can play the flute, I have driven a train from Pretoria to Johannesburg
Three things I can't do without: fresh air, open space, sunshine
Three places you want to go on vacation: Amazon, Himalayas, Outback Australia
Three things you just can't do: breakdance, dive into a pool off a diving board, the splits
Three kids names: Shane, Kieran, Aravis
Things you want to do before you die: live, live, and live some more
Three celeb crushes: that "there can be only one" guy - Adrian Paul, Jean Claude van Damme (but only because of his feelable butt...), Brendan Fraser (as he appears in "The Mummy", but NOT in "George of the Jungle"!)
Three people you want to know these things about: Marc of Durbz Blog (because he claims he has nothing to blog most days), KellyWell, and Flip.
It's a Dog's Life
Dog-days - the beasts have turned up everywhere lately!
My neighbours have gone away for 2 weeks, yet again leaving me in charge of feeding their menagerie of birds, fish - but this time they took the dogs with them. However, just before they left, they said, "by the way - we were looking after another neighbour's dog, and don't know if they've found someone else to do it, so look in on it now and then, OK?" Great...
Didn't have time to this morning (and assumed they'd do it before leaving), but when I checked in on Captain at lunchtime, he was cold, thirsty and hungry. No food, no water, and had to sleep exposed to a very freezing night on the back verandah, though sheltered from the wind and the hail by a half-wall. Poor beast. He also had two large ticks on him - which is more worrying than the food/water thing, as tick-bite fever is what killed my lapdog a year back. Later today I'm off to the vet to get him some Frontline. Wonder what his owners think of his lack of being looked after? When they went away last year, they left their other dog (now deceased) in the care of someone who knew nothing of dogs. I ended up taking him to the vet, after noticing his eyes were so sore that he kept them shut when walking around!
In addition to poor Captain, I've had another strange dog that seems to want to move in with me. "Colonel", a brown & white terrier with huge paws, has been hanging around my gate, chatting to my two dogs for the past 2 days. Yesterday I called the number on his collar and met up with his owner a kilometre away to return him. Today he was back, and I had to phone again! He LOVES my place it seems... He's very friendly and "grins" with his lips back over his teeth a bit when I scratch his back. But still, he can't move in with me - really he can't! The only thing he got out of me today was a tummy rub and a handful of Pedigree to keep him in one place until his owner arrived.
Dunno why, but I always seem to end up a dog-magnet. Everything that's lost or neglected or in need of a scratch turns up at my door, or under my desk if they're just wandering the building. It's how I inherited two of the three dogs I had. Owner neglect, so I took them in!
Either I'm way too soft-hearted, or just care a good deal more about man's best friend than others do.
My neighbours have gone away for 2 weeks, yet again leaving me in charge of feeding their menagerie of birds, fish - but this time they took the dogs with them. However, just before they left, they said, "by the way - we were looking after another neighbour's dog, and don't know if they've found someone else to do it, so look in on it now and then, OK?" Great...
Didn't have time to this morning (and assumed they'd do it before leaving), but when I checked in on Captain at lunchtime, he was cold, thirsty and hungry. No food, no water, and had to sleep exposed to a very freezing night on the back verandah, though sheltered from the wind and the hail by a half-wall. Poor beast. He also had two large ticks on him - which is more worrying than the food/water thing, as tick-bite fever is what killed my lapdog a year back. Later today I'm off to the vet to get him some Frontline. Wonder what his owners think of his lack of being looked after? When they went away last year, they left their other dog (now deceased) in the care of someone who knew nothing of dogs. I ended up taking him to the vet, after noticing his eyes were so sore that he kept them shut when walking around!
In addition to poor Captain, I've had another strange dog that seems to want to move in with me. "Colonel", a brown & white terrier with huge paws, has been hanging around my gate, chatting to my two dogs for the past 2 days. Yesterday I called the number on his collar and met up with his owner a kilometre away to return him. Today he was back, and I had to phone again! He LOVES my place it seems... He's very friendly and "grins" with his lips back over his teeth a bit when I scratch his back. But still, he can't move in with me - really he can't! The only thing he got out of me today was a tummy rub and a handful of Pedigree to keep him in one place until his owner arrived.
Dunno why, but I always seem to end up a dog-magnet. Everything that's lost or neglected or in need of a scratch turns up at my door, or under my desk if they're just wandering the building. It's how I inherited two of the three dogs I had. Owner neglect, so I took them in!
Either I'm way too soft-hearted, or just care a good deal more about man's best friend than others do.
The curse of the PS2
My son's latest PS2 game arrived on Friday, making his collection a grand total of 3! You'd think that would make him easily bored, so that he'd leave off playing every second he gets, right? Wrong!
Saturday night has become "mom, amuse yourself while I take up the decent TV playing hours of whatever". I've taken to watching the non-decent (tiny) TV in the bedroom, but the powers that be have taken to showing re-runs of all the movies I've already seen! So Sat night turns into "long bath with a book", accompanied by the background sounds of explosions, opal collection and Ty the Tasmanian Tiger talking to whomever has info for him.
This weekend I took the obligatory bath, and by 10 was ready for bed. To keep warm, I climbed beneath the covers while I waited for J to save his game and get ready for bed...
....THREE HOURS LATER at 1 in the morning, he woke me up to say goodnight! Geez...
He also spent the entire day yesterday playing, with only a meal-break at midday.
Unfortunately he's now on school holiday, and has been spending so much time on the PS2 that his fingers are going tingly. Can you say "repetitive strain injury"? There's not much I can do to control his time while I'm at work, but he has a definitive cut-off time of 5pm each day.
I checked in with him a few minutes ago - he's still in his pyjamas, hasn't eaten breakfast, and I'm about to go home to make lunch!
I thought it would be nice for him to have a PS2 to keep him busy during the holidays - but it's turned into something bigger than all of us! HELP!
Signed
Neglected Mom
Saturday night has become "mom, amuse yourself while I take up the decent TV playing hours of whatever". I've taken to watching the non-decent (tiny) TV in the bedroom, but the powers that be have taken to showing re-runs of all the movies I've already seen! So Sat night turns into "long bath with a book", accompanied by the background sounds of explosions, opal collection and Ty the Tasmanian Tiger talking to whomever has info for him.
This weekend I took the obligatory bath, and by 10 was ready for bed. To keep warm, I climbed beneath the covers while I waited for J to save his game and get ready for bed...
....THREE HOURS LATER at 1 in the morning, he woke me up to say goodnight! Geez...
He also spent the entire day yesterday playing, with only a meal-break at midday.
Unfortunately he's now on school holiday, and has been spending so much time on the PS2 that his fingers are going tingly. Can you say "repetitive strain injury"? There's not much I can do to control his time while I'm at work, but he has a definitive cut-off time of 5pm each day.
I checked in with him a few minutes ago - he's still in his pyjamas, hasn't eaten breakfast, and I'm about to go home to make lunch!
I thought it would be nice for him to have a PS2 to keep him busy during the holidays - but it's turned into something bigger than all of us! HELP!
Signed
Neglected Mom
Preach It, Mister!
Last night, the local Baptist church had an American choir visit. And preach. They're the Calvary Chapel group from South Carolina, so I guess they're Southern Baptists???
Dunno though, I'm still trying to work out the difference between all the varieties of Baptist, so I could be wrong.
They were pretty good as a choir. If you have a fast internet connection, you can hear what they sounded like here (4,7MB) and here (6,4MB).
The preacher though was something else...! Not what we're used to at this little church. I found myself listening to him as an "outsider", and finding it difficult not to shake my head at times - including when he got to the Sinner's Prayer and move-you-with-music altar call (which is good for some, but leaves me cynical unfortunately). Others though enjoyed it, and responded in number. The church was packed.
And our worship team managed to sneak an African song into the mix - a part of which may be found here, along with the wonderful African lady who sat in front of us (7,7MB).
Hey, at least I made it through church last night! :) But only just.... we'll see how it goes next week.
Dunno though, I'm still trying to work out the difference between all the varieties of Baptist, so I could be wrong.
They were pretty good as a choir. If you have a fast internet connection, you can hear what they sounded like here (4,7MB) and here (6,4MB).
The preacher though was something else...! Not what we're used to at this little church. I found myself listening to him as an "outsider", and finding it difficult not to shake my head at times - including when he got to the Sinner's Prayer and move-you-with-music altar call (which is good for some, but leaves me cynical unfortunately). Others though enjoyed it, and responded in number. The church was packed.
And our worship team managed to sneak an African song into the mix - a part of which may be found here, along with the wonderful African lady who sat in front of us (7,7MB).
Hey, at least I made it through church last night! :) But only just.... we'll see how it goes next week.
Taking it Off-site
So that I don't bore you all to tears on this blog, I've set up a new blogsite to keep track of my African adventure trip planning, dreaming and stuff. This blog will be back to normal from now on, promise!!! :)
You can find the new one at Africa Trek.
I can't guarantee that you won't be bored to tears there too, but hey - it's my blog and I'll bore if I want to...
::update::
If you're wondering what's happened to my work/live in Australia plans, I've decided that I can't wait forever. If something works out early next year we'll go - if not, it's all engines gunning for our Africa trip. I've waited many years to move, and am getting rather tired of living in limbo...
You can find the new one at Africa Trek.
I can't guarantee that you won't be bored to tears there too, but hey - it's my blog and I'll bore if I want to...
::update::
If you're wondering what's happened to my work/live in Australia plans, I've decided that I can't wait forever. If something works out early next year we'll go - if not, it's all engines gunning for our Africa trip. I've waited many years to move, and am getting rather tired of living in limbo...
Sitting and Dreaming
Friday nights in my two-person family are "talk nights", so designated by my son. It's one of the few times each week when the TV's off, the lights are glowing softly (perhaps enhanced by a few candles), the house is clean and quiet - and we can simply spend time together without interruption.
We started talk night a day early last night... yup, that dream I have to travel Africa. Once we got going on where we could travel and what we could see and experience, we couldn't stop! But finally we put an end to it and said "tomorrow night".
We're going take our time tonight to sit and dream and plan and imagine - and see where it takes us. Little by little my son is realizing that he'll get a very unique experience if we can pull this off, one that none of his friends have a chance to (being part of "traditional families" bound to one place by parental jobs and societal expectations). We're free as birds, if we choose to be. We can go anywhere, we can do anything.
I realize it could be dangerous travelling alone though, and am considering speaking to my aunt about joining us for a part of the journey, or all of it. She's a top botanist, a wild woman who can take it rough and tough, and I know she'd LOVE botanizing Africa flat! Perhaps we can also check with local overland clubs about any others setting out on a journey at the same time as us, and go in convey for a part of it.
And then something happened this morning that has me grinning like crazy at the moment. I've just picked up my car after a week-long service with the world's best mechanic, and mentioned if he sees a old, cheap, reliable Land Rover to please let me know. And you know what? He says he knows where there's one standing around...! But we didn't have time to discuss it in detail. I'll have to check in with him later. I just mentioned what I wanted it for - and his eyes grew big with excitement! :) I realize I'm short on mechanical skills, but if I can get something like this soon, and start working on it myself, learning as I go - I'll soon develop them! If all else fails, there's a mechanic's certificate course on offer that's affordable and I can do in my own time. And I am blessed with a neighbour who knows where everything goes in a car - he's currently rebuilding a Mini from scratch, including the engine. A handy chap to have around.
The more I think of it, the less fearful I am that things would go wrong, and the more keen I am to give it a go. For a year, four years - however long it takes. And wherever it leads us.
That "the only difference between a dream and a goal is a timeline" thing? It's kicking in. My son needs a sleeping bag for an upcoming camp, and instead of borrowing one we're buying one, along with the first in our collection of camp eating utensils. We're not replacing our home computer with another bulky one, but with a laptop. Bit by bit I'm going to work towards this dream. Even if it means putting others on hold - like Australia, a business, and the addition of many material possessions. Can one ever trade possessions for amazing experiences? I think not!
Anyway, tonight we're hauling out maps and National Geographics and all our Africa stuff, and we're going to sit down and dream some very, very big dreams. I only hope I can sleep after that (I didn't get much last night... brain on overdrive)! And yes, I AM praying for direction in this, that I'll make not only the right choice but also the one that will be best for us both.
Onward and upward!
We started talk night a day early last night... yup, that dream I have to travel Africa. Once we got going on where we could travel and what we could see and experience, we couldn't stop! But finally we put an end to it and said "tomorrow night".
We're going take our time tonight to sit and dream and plan and imagine - and see where it takes us. Little by little my son is realizing that he'll get a very unique experience if we can pull this off, one that none of his friends have a chance to (being part of "traditional families" bound to one place by parental jobs and societal expectations). We're free as birds, if we choose to be. We can go anywhere, we can do anything.
I realize it could be dangerous travelling alone though, and am considering speaking to my aunt about joining us for a part of the journey, or all of it. She's a top botanist, a wild woman who can take it rough and tough, and I know she'd LOVE botanizing Africa flat! Perhaps we can also check with local overland clubs about any others setting out on a journey at the same time as us, and go in convey for a part of it.
And then something happened this morning that has me grinning like crazy at the moment. I've just picked up my car after a week-long service with the world's best mechanic, and mentioned if he sees a old, cheap, reliable Land Rover to please let me know. And you know what? He says he knows where there's one standing around...! But we didn't have time to discuss it in detail. I'll have to check in with him later. I just mentioned what I wanted it for - and his eyes grew big with excitement! :) I realize I'm short on mechanical skills, but if I can get something like this soon, and start working on it myself, learning as I go - I'll soon develop them! If all else fails, there's a mechanic's certificate course on offer that's affordable and I can do in my own time. And I am blessed with a neighbour who knows where everything goes in a car - he's currently rebuilding a Mini from scratch, including the engine. A handy chap to have around.
The more I think of it, the less fearful I am that things would go wrong, and the more keen I am to give it a go. For a year, four years - however long it takes. And wherever it leads us.
That "the only difference between a dream and a goal is a timeline" thing? It's kicking in. My son needs a sleeping bag for an upcoming camp, and instead of borrowing one we're buying one, along with the first in our collection of camp eating utensils. We're not replacing our home computer with another bulky one, but with a laptop. Bit by bit I'm going to work towards this dream. Even if it means putting others on hold - like Australia, a business, and the addition of many material possessions. Can one ever trade possessions for amazing experiences? I think not!
Anyway, tonight we're hauling out maps and National Geographics and all our Africa stuff, and we're going to sit down and dream some very, very big dreams. I only hope I can sleep after that (I didn't get much last night... brain on overdrive)! And yes, I AM praying for direction in this, that I'll make not only the right choice but also the one that will be best for us both.
Onward and upward!
Hail!??
Can you believe the size of the hail on our front lawn last night?
::update::
Nah - me neither. In reality it's the results of defrosting the fridge after too many months of ice build-up... :)
::update::
Nah - me neither. In reality it's the results of defrosting the fridge after too many months of ice build-up... :)
Convincing the Kid
After yesterday's lunch-time chat with my son re throwing in the towel and travelling, he wasn't too keen.
But last night he had Geography homework! Perfect time to give him a visual illustration of where we'd go if we went. He followed my finger as I traced a route up across Africa, Europe, Asia - and when I got to Ethiopia and mentioned "artifacts and amazing gorges", he was sold! :) I think he's starting to realize just how huge an adventure we could have, if we put our minds to it and were willing to find a new perspective on life.
I've been doing a bit of research this morning into prices for various things (like 4x4s and laptops and good cameras, although I have 3 of the latter already), and checking my budget to see if we could work things out. And I think we really could, with a few adjustments to how we spend our time, money and energies. There's still a lot of thinking to do, and investigating, and talking to folk who have travelled similar roads. I like to have a LOT of info before I make any leaps.
But you never know - this could just work out. And this particular blog could get a lot less boring in a year and a half! :)
::update::
4x4? WHAT 4x4? These guys did it in an ancient VW Kombi! There's hope for us all...
..and then there's THESE crazy Aussies, going by FOOT...
But last night he had Geography homework! Perfect time to give him a visual illustration of where we'd go if we went. He followed my finger as I traced a route up across Africa, Europe, Asia - and when I got to Ethiopia and mentioned "artifacts and amazing gorges", he was sold! :) I think he's starting to realize just how huge an adventure we could have, if we put our minds to it and were willing to find a new perspective on life.
I've been doing a bit of research this morning into prices for various things (like 4x4s and laptops and good cameras, although I have 3 of the latter already), and checking my budget to see if we could work things out. And I think we really could, with a few adjustments to how we spend our time, money and energies. There's still a lot of thinking to do, and investigating, and talking to folk who have travelled similar roads. I like to have a LOT of info before I make any leaps.
But you never know - this could just work out. And this particular blog could get a lot less boring in a year and a half! :)
::update::
4x4? WHAT 4x4? These guys did it in an ancient VW Kombi! There's hope for us all...
..and then there's THESE crazy Aussies, going by FOOT...
What happens when you try
A friend of mine has been trying to start a cell-group type church. She's got a list of at least 50 people who have left/been kicked out of a certain local group of churches, who are lost and lonely and want something spiritual, but have nowhere to turn.
So she and her husband thought "we've done this before upcountry, we can do it again!" and gathered the folk for a pre-meeting at their home to see how they should get going, where, what etc. Basic brainstorming.
Apparently it deteriorated into a heated argument that left everyone feeling worse off than before. No-one was willing to listen, they just wanted to push their own points.
And then, before they could speak to the church headquarters guy, he heard of it. He was down at their place of work in a flash and gave them an earful! They had been hoping for an appointment with him after their initial meeting, to if possible get his blessing for something new that could help a lot of people. He didn't give them the chance!
These two events have so scared them off, that they've abandoned the idea. She says if someone else starts something they're in immediately, but have received so much flak themselves that they're not willing to chance it.
It's sad - VERY sad - that something like this can happen. That folk so on fire and enthusiastic to help others and grow together in a new direction can be shot down without leaving the ground - simply because they're not going through "proper channels" to do it, or are trying something new!
They're so discouraged at the moment. And nothing's been solved. The 50 people are still lost and lonely and probably even more ostracized than before.
If I were able to "do church", I'd do something about it. But I'm in no state to at the moment. Not even starting a cellgroup or Bible study or weekly meal or anything. I would do more damage than good if I tried.
But I hurt for these guys. I've been there (spoke to the same in-charge guy years ago about a potential church plant, was also shot down). I know how crushing it is.
Please pray for them, if you can spare one. They need it.
So she and her husband thought "we've done this before upcountry, we can do it again!" and gathered the folk for a pre-meeting at their home to see how they should get going, where, what etc. Basic brainstorming.
Apparently it deteriorated into a heated argument that left everyone feeling worse off than before. No-one was willing to listen, they just wanted to push their own points.
And then, before they could speak to the church headquarters guy, he heard of it. He was down at their place of work in a flash and gave them an earful! They had been hoping for an appointment with him after their initial meeting, to if possible get his blessing for something new that could help a lot of people. He didn't give them the chance!
These two events have so scared them off, that they've abandoned the idea. She says if someone else starts something they're in immediately, but have received so much flak themselves that they're not willing to chance it.
It's sad - VERY sad - that something like this can happen. That folk so on fire and enthusiastic to help others and grow together in a new direction can be shot down without leaving the ground - simply because they're not going through "proper channels" to do it, or are trying something new!
They're so discouraged at the moment. And nothing's been solved. The 50 people are still lost and lonely and probably even more ostracized than before.
If I were able to "do church", I'd do something about it. But I'm in no state to at the moment. Not even starting a cellgroup or Bible study or weekly meal or anything. I would do more damage than good if I tried.
But I hurt for these guys. I've been there (spoke to the same in-charge guy years ago about a potential church plant, was also shot down). I know how crushing it is.
Please pray for them, if you can spare one. They need it.
Why the hell not?
The post below got me thinking - what would it REALLY take to accomplish that ongoing dream? And why the hell not do it?
Hmm...dangerous thought. It could just get me moving in a radically different direction, and scare the heck out of my entire family! :) Bear with me as I sort out the pro's and con's.
Issues:
* Danger as a single white woman with kid in Africa (and beyond), travelling alone - both from human and non-human "attack"
* Cash flow to keep the wheels turning
* Travel depends on visas - how easily can I obtain them while on the move?
* Wars and dissent in countries I may need to cross...
* Just what would it take to do this? What if it doesn't work out? What then? (there I go on the worst-case thing again)
* Medical issues - how prepared would I need to be "just in case"? Insurance? A cash stash? We're healthy, but there's always a chance something could happen (yet another worst-case thing, but I have to factor in reality)
* I'd need to develop skills in mechanics and survival (I have a few of the latter from some early years training in Zimbabwe already). But I've always wanted to anyway.
* (Post-lunch, after bringing up the subject) The kid doesn't want to. OK, that's a biggie! :) Trouble is, he likes his lie-around life, hooked on TV and PS2 and gathering possessions. He doesn't realize the adventure that life can be! Solution? - send him off to Australia on a study visa to his grandparents, to complete high school while I travel! :) (Or wait until he's out on his own and then do it on my own anyway)
You know, if I put my mind to it I could be ready to go by the end of next year - at which my son will have just completed primary school and I'll be 35. It would be a good time for some changes, and a year and a half is a lot of time to think things through completely, gain the skills and cash we'd need and see whether we'd be able to make a go of it.
This could turn out as another pipe-dream. Pie in the sky and all that. But as Dr Phil is fond of saying - the only difference between a dream and a goal is a timeline...
I've just got so many options at the moment. Long-term options. Get a different job / start my own business / keep trying for a move to Australia, or a million other paths I could travel. I've got itchy feet - I want change and a chance to fulfil my dreams. I'm just having trouble deciding which one to work at!
Hmm...dangerous thought. It could just get me moving in a radically different direction, and scare the heck out of my entire family! :) Bear with me as I sort out the pro's and con's.
Issues:
* Danger as a single white woman with kid in Africa (and beyond), travelling alone - both from human and non-human "attack"
* Cash flow to keep the wheels turning
* Travel depends on visas - how easily can I obtain them while on the move?
* Wars and dissent in countries I may need to cross...
* Just what would it take to do this? What if it doesn't work out? What then? (there I go on the worst-case thing again)
* Medical issues - how prepared would I need to be "just in case"? Insurance? A cash stash? We're healthy, but there's always a chance something could happen (yet another worst-case thing, but I have to factor in reality)
* I'd need to develop skills in mechanics and survival (I have a few of the latter from some early years training in Zimbabwe already). But I've always wanted to anyway.
* (Post-lunch, after bringing up the subject) The kid doesn't want to. OK, that's a biggie! :) Trouble is, he likes his lie-around life, hooked on TV and PS2 and gathering possessions. He doesn't realize the adventure that life can be! Solution? - send him off to Australia on a study visa to his grandparents, to complete high school while I travel! :) (Or wait until he's out on his own and then do it on my own anyway)
You know, if I put my mind to it I could be ready to go by the end of next year - at which my son will have just completed primary school and I'll be 35. It would be a good time for some changes, and a year and a half is a lot of time to think things through completely, gain the skills and cash we'd need and see whether we'd be able to make a go of it.
This could turn out as another pipe-dream. Pie in the sky and all that. But as Dr Phil is fond of saying - the only difference between a dream and a goal is a timeline...
I've just got so many options at the moment. Long-term options. Get a different job / start my own business / keep trying for a move to Australia, or a million other paths I could travel. I've got itchy feet - I want change and a chance to fulfil my dreams. I'm just having trouble deciding which one to work at!
Paths
"Follow your own path and let people talk" - Dante
If I had a life-banner that waved above my head, this would be on it. It's what I aspire to - but it's never as easy as it sounds, is it?
Expectations, the "way the world is" crowd out the freedom to just be who we are and do what we want/need to. And yet lately I've started trying to be true to myself. To not bend over backwards where conformation is expected, but to rather do what I feel is right for me. Conforming to tightly-regulated expectations have often left me feeling frustrated and powerless. Being true to me is producing the opposite effect! Yet I'm going at it slowly, surreptitiously...
I still have this dream of packing up the kid in a Land Rover (or Toyota 4x4, as they might be a bit more reliable at times), selling all my earthly possessions and travelling with a camera and laptop - exploring and writing and taking photos, and making a living from it! Imagine the education my son would get travelling the world! Perhaps not your "average" education, but who really wants to sit in a stuffy school wearing uncomfortable clothing, with your butt on a hard chair all day, getting berated by teachers for things you didn't do - and then go home exhausted? There's a niggling thought that he'd be "disadvantaged" by such an experience - who DOESN'T want to see a high school certificate these days for further study, work, whatever? But then again - he'd be learning things his classmates never would. He'd be out there LIVING while he learnt, and discovering so much more than textbooks can tell. And I know a couple of folk who have gone far on those kind of upbringings.
(A lesser dream is to save like crazy and spend all our holidays in Egypt, the Amazon, the Himalayas... but that's a cop-out.)
Try mention this kind of wish, and watch the reactions - "you can't do that!", "what about your future?", "it's too dangerous", "it would never work", "you've got to think about your son", "how would you make money?". Wonder how many of those reactions stem from an underlying jealousy that I'd even consider chucking in a conventional life and doing something daring?
And I wonder how much I've been influenced by other's talk? What is REALLY stopping me from actually doing it? Not a lot - except fear. And a list of "but first I have to..." (insert things like "learn car maintenance", "actually BUY a 4x4 and a laptop", "equipment, research" etc...!)
I had similar feelings of fear when I considered stepping out of church indefinitely. It's a big, dark world out there - and nothing was certain. Who knows what could happen? But it's been a GOOD thing, and in spite of the talk it's generated from "concerned citizens" I've continued along this path I've chosen to follow. Mostly because I believe it's where God wants me to go. Wish I could say the same about the pack-up-and-go plan... perhaps I should try find a prophet?
I've been scared to NOT conform too. It's never said, but often implied that daring to be different may lead to your no longer working here - and everyone knows how scarce employment is. But I'm still here - and I'm no longer conforming. So what's the worst that can happen?
Ah - that phrase, "the worst that can happen". Perhaps that's my problem. I go over all the possibilities before I take a path, and very often it's the worst-case scenario that turns me back from persuing it. But things hardly ever end up as bad as that, do they? Most times they turn out better than you could have hoped for.
So here I sit, considering the future and the paths that spread before me. The LIMITLESS paths, if I choose to let go of materialism and secure ruts and conforming to what's expected of me. The possibilities are endless! The imagination runs wild!
And I really CAN do it, if I can just screw up the courage to do so. Wouldn't it be the coolest thing to just follow a path and let people talk?
If I had a life-banner that waved above my head, this would be on it. It's what I aspire to - but it's never as easy as it sounds, is it?
Expectations, the "way the world is" crowd out the freedom to just be who we are and do what we want/need to. And yet lately I've started trying to be true to myself. To not bend over backwards where conformation is expected, but to rather do what I feel is right for me. Conforming to tightly-regulated expectations have often left me feeling frustrated and powerless. Being true to me is producing the opposite effect! Yet I'm going at it slowly, surreptitiously...
I still have this dream of packing up the kid in a Land Rover (or Toyota 4x4, as they might be a bit more reliable at times), selling all my earthly possessions and travelling with a camera and laptop - exploring and writing and taking photos, and making a living from it! Imagine the education my son would get travelling the world! Perhaps not your "average" education, but who really wants to sit in a stuffy school wearing uncomfortable clothing, with your butt on a hard chair all day, getting berated by teachers for things you didn't do - and then go home exhausted? There's a niggling thought that he'd be "disadvantaged" by such an experience - who DOESN'T want to see a high school certificate these days for further study, work, whatever? But then again - he'd be learning things his classmates never would. He'd be out there LIVING while he learnt, and discovering so much more than textbooks can tell. And I know a couple of folk who have gone far on those kind of upbringings.(A lesser dream is to save like crazy and spend all our holidays in Egypt, the Amazon, the Himalayas... but that's a cop-out.)
Try mention this kind of wish, and watch the reactions - "you can't do that!", "what about your future?", "it's too dangerous", "it would never work", "you've got to think about your son", "how would you make money?". Wonder how many of those reactions stem from an underlying jealousy that I'd even consider chucking in a conventional life and doing something daring?
And I wonder how much I've been influenced by other's talk? What is REALLY stopping me from actually doing it? Not a lot - except fear. And a list of "but first I have to..." (insert things like "learn car maintenance", "actually BUY a 4x4 and a laptop", "equipment, research" etc...!)
I had similar feelings of fear when I considered stepping out of church indefinitely. It's a big, dark world out there - and nothing was certain. Who knows what could happen? But it's been a GOOD thing, and in spite of the talk it's generated from "concerned citizens" I've continued along this path I've chosen to follow. Mostly because I believe it's where God wants me to go. Wish I could say the same about the pack-up-and-go plan... perhaps I should try find a prophet?
I've been scared to NOT conform too. It's never said, but often implied that daring to be different may lead to your no longer working here - and everyone knows how scarce employment is. But I'm still here - and I'm no longer conforming. So what's the worst that can happen?
Ah - that phrase, "the worst that can happen". Perhaps that's my problem. I go over all the possibilities before I take a path, and very often it's the worst-case scenario that turns me back from persuing it. But things hardly ever end up as bad as that, do they? Most times they turn out better than you could have hoped for.
So here I sit, considering the future and the paths that spread before me. The LIMITLESS paths, if I choose to let go of materialism and secure ruts and conforming to what's expected of me. The possibilities are endless! The imagination runs wild!
And I really CAN do it, if I can just screw up the courage to do so. Wouldn't it be the coolest thing to just follow a path and let people talk?
Summertime!
Well, almost. Yesterday was the winter solstice here at the bottom of the world, while the druids & co celebrated the summer one on the topside. Which means last night was the longest night, and that means the days will start getting longer, and THAT means summer is coming!
I can feel it already - the summertime south-easter has started up a bit this morning, and it's due to be warmer today than it has in weeks. I can see blue sky and an actual sunrise today!
Soon the midday shadow of my abode will start to retreat across the road, up the hill, and back across my lawn, until the day we can sit in full sun for the entire afternoon and the grass will dry out completely.
Aah, summer. Can't wait!
I can feel it already - the summertime south-easter has started up a bit this morning, and it's due to be warmer today than it has in weeks. I can see blue sky and an actual sunrise today!
Soon the midday shadow of my abode will start to retreat across the road, up the hill, and back across my lawn, until the day we can sit in full sun for the entire afternoon and the grass will dry out completely.
Aah, summer. Can't wait!
Not quite ready
I thought I could do it. I thought I'd be able to go to church, sit through the service, be inspired, chat to folk afterwards and go home with a good feeling.
But 2 songs into the worship section I wanted out. I'm still way too cynical about "manipulation" through music, creating a "mood" and the way a service happens - not much actual service, if you know what I mean.
Well, I made it until the end of the sermon - and then left. Before communion and before that final "send you out on a high" song. Just couldn't do either.
I don't think I'm ready to go back to church - pew-sitting kind of church - yet. I got more out of my discussion with my son the previous day than I did by attending church. I get more from internet interaction between friends than I do at church. And I get more support from my dad's church half a world away than the many right here! (Not that I'm looking at "what's in it for me", but rather "what can I bring to this" - and there's nothing right now)
So I'll give church a miss for a while longer. There's a big do on Sunday night with a chior from an American church taking the service - good entertainment value I guess. We may go for that, but I simply can't do church regularly yet. We'll stick to home-church and fumbling in the dark for the time being. It's giving more growth than turning up an event at the moment!
Right about now, some folk are going to want to lay hands on me, pray for me and cast out the demon of something-or-other. But really, we're fine! It's just part of the journey we're on.
But 2 songs into the worship section I wanted out. I'm still way too cynical about "manipulation" through music, creating a "mood" and the way a service happens - not much actual service, if you know what I mean.
Well, I made it until the end of the sermon - and then left. Before communion and before that final "send you out on a high" song. Just couldn't do either.
I don't think I'm ready to go back to church - pew-sitting kind of church - yet. I got more out of my discussion with my son the previous day than I did by attending church. I get more from internet interaction between friends than I do at church. And I get more support from my dad's church half a world away than the many right here! (Not that I'm looking at "what's in it for me", but rather "what can I bring to this" - and there's nothing right now)
So I'll give church a miss for a while longer. There's a big do on Sunday night with a chior from an American church taking the service - good entertainment value I guess. We may go for that, but I simply can't do church regularly yet. We'll stick to home-church and fumbling in the dark for the time being. It's giving more growth than turning up an event at the moment!
Right about now, some folk are going to want to lay hands on me, pray for me and cast out the demon of something-or-other. But really, we're fine! It's just part of the journey we're on.
Calm from Chaos
With an extra-long weekend handy, I got stuck in to sorting out a couple of aspects of my life, cleaning a few corners and finally getting around to taking up the too-long curtains I've been staring at for 8 years... 5 loads of washing later I'd also washed a whole pile more!
It's amazing what a little calm can do - a little peaceful space to sit and think and write and simply breathe. It helps when it has an awesome view and a comfortable chair, and an entire bookshelf of inspiring home magazines from all over the world handy. (It also helps that your son spends 8 hours on the PS2 and leaves you to your peace, quiet, view and magazines) I took time out to sit and think, and then write down some specific goals, as well as when they should be completed. None of the ones I've jotted down exceed 6 months down the line. They're close enough to actually achieve, and they're not difficult to do either. It's given me a sense of immense security knowing I'm headed toward where I want to be.
While sitting and thinking I decided that by (at least) this time next year (or sooner) I will no longer be working here. It's not that I don't like my "cushy" job, left to my own devices, living in an extremely safe environment and not having to travel to work. I love my view and I enjoy not having a boss breathing down my neck. It's just that such a comfy place tends to bog one down, and I'll have been here 10 years in January! Whether or not a move to Australia comes through, it's time for me to get on with my life and achieve some of my dreams. There are a few I can do here, but most require me to be elsewhere. (And many require more than a R1,000 increase in salary over 10 years...)
I'm still having a little trouble formulating exactly how I'll get there, but the calm places have allowed me to think it through and realize I CAN make it happen.
Today a few more steps were taken toward living. My car is in for a week-long look-see and service (and I will spend a lot on it if necessary, so I don't have to hope we make it to the shops instead of being confident that we'll make it both there and back). I'm looking a few months down the line to see if I can replace it, perhaps. I've started sorting out my garage and organizing the many things I need to sell or donate. My house is clean and the dishes are done - what a pleasure to come home to! I've completed a few large tasks that have been bugging me. I've worked through some urgent stuff.
It's little things like this that give me the courage to throw back my shoulders, look the world in the eye and pursue my dreams. I don't need the lotto (though it WOULD help a LOT! :) ), just the ongoing steps in the right direction. I'm no marathon runner, but I can walk. And I'll get there, eventually - less sweaty than if I'd run... :)
::update::
I neglected to mention that I'm considering studying again - in an area such as reflexology or colour therapy (which some of my conservative friends consider WAY too "new age"). I've always been interested in alternative and natural therapies.
At Tech my microbiology lecturer, biochemistry lecturer and I discussed starting a research facility to examine the natural plants of the Karroo region, their healing attributes and cultivation. It would have been great if it had actually gotten beyond talk.
I once considered becoming a naturopath. (I still think I'd like too, if life went on forever) I've always had a fascination for the powers of nature and plants, fresh air and touch, and yes - even the stuff you can't explain like magnetic and crystal powers to heal. I'd love to use my interest in all this one day. Perhaps even in a life-skills/coaching area, after appropriate training?
Watch this space! :)
It's amazing what a little calm can do - a little peaceful space to sit and think and write and simply breathe. It helps when it has an awesome view and a comfortable chair, and an entire bookshelf of inspiring home magazines from all over the world handy. (It also helps that your son spends 8 hours on the PS2 and leaves you to your peace, quiet, view and magazines) I took time out to sit and think, and then write down some specific goals, as well as when they should be completed. None of the ones I've jotted down exceed 6 months down the line. They're close enough to actually achieve, and they're not difficult to do either. It's given me a sense of immense security knowing I'm headed toward where I want to be.
While sitting and thinking I decided that by (at least) this time next year (or sooner) I will no longer be working here. It's not that I don't like my "cushy" job, left to my own devices, living in an extremely safe environment and not having to travel to work. I love my view and I enjoy not having a boss breathing down my neck. It's just that such a comfy place tends to bog one down, and I'll have been here 10 years in January! Whether or not a move to Australia comes through, it's time for me to get on with my life and achieve some of my dreams. There are a few I can do here, but most require me to be elsewhere. (And many require more than a R1,000 increase in salary over 10 years...)
I'm still having a little trouble formulating exactly how I'll get there, but the calm places have allowed me to think it through and realize I CAN make it happen.
Today a few more steps were taken toward living. My car is in for a week-long look-see and service (and I will spend a lot on it if necessary, so I don't have to hope we make it to the shops instead of being confident that we'll make it both there and back). I'm looking a few months down the line to see if I can replace it, perhaps. I've started sorting out my garage and organizing the many things I need to sell or donate. My house is clean and the dishes are done - what a pleasure to come home to! I've completed a few large tasks that have been bugging me. I've worked through some urgent stuff.
It's little things like this that give me the courage to throw back my shoulders, look the world in the eye and pursue my dreams. I don't need the lotto (though it WOULD help a LOT! :) ), just the ongoing steps in the right direction. I'm no marathon runner, but I can walk. And I'll get there, eventually - less sweaty than if I'd run... :)
::update::
I neglected to mention that I'm considering studying again - in an area such as reflexology or colour therapy (which some of my conservative friends consider WAY too "new age"). I've always been interested in alternative and natural therapies.
At Tech my microbiology lecturer, biochemistry lecturer and I discussed starting a research facility to examine the natural plants of the Karroo region, their healing attributes and cultivation. It would have been great if it had actually gotten beyond talk.
I once considered becoming a naturopath. (I still think I'd like too, if life went on forever) I've always had a fascination for the powers of nature and plants, fresh air and touch, and yes - even the stuff you can't explain like magnetic and crystal powers to heal. I'd love to use my interest in all this one day. Perhaps even in a life-skills/coaching area, after appropriate training?
Watch this space! :)
Actions speak louder than words
(I'm on for the staff worship time tomorrow morning, and will be sharing this)
Ever wondered if God’s trying to get a message through? Last weekend I woke up with this verse in my head:
Micah 6:8 (KJV)
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?
Micah 6:8 (NIV)
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
I had printed out 3 articles to read from the Internet over the weekend. Each one had something to do with this verse. I picked up a book I’d received the day before, and there it was again. After I’d been hammered over the head with this verse everywhere I turned, I penned these thoughts:
Ever wondered if God’s trying to get a message through? Last weekend I woke up with this verse in my head:
Micah 6:8 (KJV)
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?
Micah 6:8 (NIV)
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
I had printed out 3 articles to read from the Internet over the weekend. Each one had something to do with this verse. I picked up a book I’d received the day before, and there it was again. After I’d been hammered over the head with this verse everywhere I turned, I penned these thoughts:
Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly.
Actions speak louder than words – words without actions mean nothing.
Only three things are required – justice, mercy and humility.
We are not called to bicker over jewellery or meat or who is right or wrong.
We are called to be just, merciful, humble.
Justice – doing right by others. Not judging, not pointing fingers – only being just.
Doing justly – fairness to all around us. Fighting for fair treatment for human, animal or environment. Not sitting on our hands and hoping the bad things go away. It’s stepping in to the fray and standing up for the weak.
Mercy – LOVE mercy. Let our lives revolve around being passionately merciful. Jesus said it – clothe the naked, feed the hungry, care for the uncared-for.
See the spark of God-soul in everyone from the drunk sheltering in a doorway, to the dictator in the next country, to the neighbour right next door. Especially the neighbour right next door, who is close enough to truly show mercy to.
Humility – not boastfulness, not pride. Not a better-than-thou or a you’re-out-I’m-in. Just a humble following of He who knit us together and knows our thoughts. We are not called to map out the paths and journeys of others or examine where they deviate, but rather to follow OUR Leader with our eyes on Him alone, wherever that may lead. Through darkness or light. Only keep walking. Eyes fixed ahead.
Forgive us Lord if we should boast. Your ways and ours are so very different.
Actions speak louder than words.
Taking God’s name in vain has less to do with using it inappropriately than it does with claiming the name Christian, yet living as if we’d never met Christ.
Actions speak louder than words. Do. Walk. Love. Justice, Mercy, Humility.
Shabbat Shalom
Yeah, I know it's only Wednesday, but tomorrow's a holiday and the boss (bless him!) has just come around to say we've got Friday off too!
So as I sleep in on an extra-long weekend and think of all you plebs at work (not!), may you find rest and happiness, a deep drink of cold water for your soul! :)
So as I sleep in on an extra-long weekend and think of all you plebs at work (not!), may you find rest and happiness, a deep drink of cold water for your soul! :)
Fear and Trembling
It's the dreaded Parent/Teacher day. We get a mere 10 minutes with our kid's teachers, and they get to tell us everything our kids forgot to mention.
Just before I left to see his teacher, my son informed me that the 23% he got for one exam wasn't the worst after all - he found out he got 6% for another! Oh great... Fortunately his classwork is factored in, and that brought up the grade a bit.
But the teacher had the usual to say - problems with speed and concentration. And, yet again, I'm at my wit's end as to how to solve these.
You see, we're opposite ends of the personality scale. He's creative and drifts in his own dream world, uninterested in grades and school and being the best. I'm goal-driven and focused and like the competition to do better than someone else. I simply can't see the world from his perspective, so I don't know how to solve his problems!
His teacher's a lot like him, but even she's frustrated. He took over 2 hours more than the others to complete one exam, having to sit through break and other classes to finish. From next year that won't be an option - finish in the time, or else.
So it boils down to this: now is the only time we have to sort out his issues and find solutions, or he'll struggle for the rest of his school days. And perhaps fail a grade or two.
I've told him he can be anything he wants to be. Perhaps I need to mention the provisio that a lot of what he wants to be might depend on his school grades... On the other hand, he's good in what he's interested in - Maths, Computer, Natural Science. It's the languages that drag him under. And, apparently, he's never quite "with it" in class...
I'm about to email my mom, who is not only a teacher, but also of his kind, to ask what she suggests. Especially in the way of after-school coaching, help or whatever. (I know the subject of "veggies" is going to come up....) I'm going to look into some online advice too while I'm at it.
After which the only thing remaining is for me to find the energy to put more into our after-hours lives than I currently am.
Just before I left to see his teacher, my son informed me that the 23% he got for one exam wasn't the worst after all - he found out he got 6% for another! Oh great... Fortunately his classwork is factored in, and that brought up the grade a bit.
But the teacher had the usual to say - problems with speed and concentration. And, yet again, I'm at my wit's end as to how to solve these.
You see, we're opposite ends of the personality scale. He's creative and drifts in his own dream world, uninterested in grades and school and being the best. I'm goal-driven and focused and like the competition to do better than someone else. I simply can't see the world from his perspective, so I don't know how to solve his problems!
His teacher's a lot like him, but even she's frustrated. He took over 2 hours more than the others to complete one exam, having to sit through break and other classes to finish. From next year that won't be an option - finish in the time, or else.
So it boils down to this: now is the only time we have to sort out his issues and find solutions, or he'll struggle for the rest of his school days. And perhaps fail a grade or two.
I've told him he can be anything he wants to be. Perhaps I need to mention the provisio that a lot of what he wants to be might depend on his school grades... On the other hand, he's good in what he's interested in - Maths, Computer, Natural Science. It's the languages that drag him under. And, apparently, he's never quite "with it" in class...
I'm about to email my mom, who is not only a teacher, but also of his kind, to ask what she suggests. Especially in the way of after-school coaching, help or whatever. (I know the subject of "veggies" is going to come up....) I'm going to look into some online advice too while I'm at it.
After which the only thing remaining is for me to find the energy to put more into our after-hours lives than I currently am.
Winter
I'm having SO much fun with my digital camera, especially now that I've started figuring out how to use the many options available. If all else fails, read the manual.. :)
I took this on the way home from work yesterday, and am considering having it printed and framed. Whaddayathink?
I took this on the way home from work yesterday, and am considering having it printed and framed. Whaddayathink?
Prepare to stop
My collection of Aussie warning signs is finally online at Flikr! Unfortunately I couldn't edit them into one album, but it's the first 3 pages of my photos, and a few on the 4th page.
If you're Aussie, you might think nothing of them - but as a tourist I found them most amusing. :)
::update::
I've added all those pics to one of the groups, and you can find the entire collection in one place here.
If you're Aussie, you might think nothing of them - but as a tourist I found them most amusing. :)
::update::
I've added all those pics to one of the groups, and you can find the entire collection in one place here.
Emergent: a little less conversation?
I missed my chance to not only host Brian McLaren as he promoted his new book, but also interview him - right here on my humble little blog! Darn it... The timing was just off. I got notice of the opportunity just before we left for Australia, and there was much to-ing and fro-ing before my review copy of the book arrived. By the time I got all my ducks lined up, I'd missed the entire event.
But that didn't stop me from thinking what I'd ask if I got a chance to ask - and perhaps I may still ask by email, if I can get up the courage.
One of the bigger questions that's been on my mind has not yet found an answer, although I've been trawling emergent blogs and ezines and all that. There are hints at it, but nothing definite.
The question is: Will this Emerging Church conversation ever become a movement? In other words - when do we stop talking and start doing?
You see, from my miniscule perspective it still seems like a lot of folk sitting around drinking (fair trade) coffee, talking and thinking. And then we all leave and go carry on with life as normal - well, almost-normal, with a tweaking here and there to match up with our new perspectives.
But I have yet to find a majority who has truly changed, who is all action in line with what they've now deconstructed and then reconstructed, whose deeds match up to their new-found new-defined faith so exactly that it's taking the entire world by storm.
I know there are churches/groups out there (mostly in America/UK, some in Australia, a few scattered elsewhere) that are doing what they believe, but it's still underground, furtive, and you have to really look to find them. (It's a little like trying to find an illegal rave to go to - unless you know who to ask, you'll never discover it.) There's no sweeping swathe of difference in the communities where they flourish. It's still bit-by-bit and one-at-a-time that things are happening. And the stories that might encourage many to take those running leaps are still whispered in closed circles, not shouted from the rooftops (or from the blogs, generally speaking) for the world to gasp at.
Emergent (and I use that term loosely, so I don't have to type "the emerging church" every time...) may still be stamping out fires of criticism from the mainline folk (who get jumpy when things look set to change, and change dramatically). Emergent may still be finding direction. Emergent may still be formulating definitive answers. Doing all that takes time and patience and silence and thinking and talking among ourselves.
But surely it also takes action?
I know Emergent is not into becoming a Movement - getting an organizational heirarchy, developing programmes (perhaps Conferences are exempt - they've had a few already) and funding and all that stuff that can get a movement quagmired down into an organization with too many cogs turning to get anywhere. They (we?) shun it in favour of organic, authentic stuff. So where is the organic, authentic stuff? Shouldn't all the earthy things we've been tending be producing a harvest of bountiful fruit by now?
Shouldn't they be inspiring many of us to try it too - instead of spending days/months/years defending a position and countering accusations?
OK, I shouldn't lump Emergent folks into one big basket. I know many ARE doing good things, experiencing amazing growth and reality in their everyday existance, having eyes opened and seeing change. But it's small-scale, and unless all of us with any interest in this conversation get up off our butts and get our hands dirty, I fear it will peter out into yet another movement that tried, and failed.
But that didn't stop me from thinking what I'd ask if I got a chance to ask - and perhaps I may still ask by email, if I can get up the courage.
One of the bigger questions that's been on my mind has not yet found an answer, although I've been trawling emergent blogs and ezines and all that. There are hints at it, but nothing definite.
The question is: Will this Emerging Church conversation ever become a movement? In other words - when do we stop talking and start doing?
You see, from my miniscule perspective it still seems like a lot of folk sitting around drinking (fair trade) coffee, talking and thinking. And then we all leave and go carry on with life as normal - well, almost-normal, with a tweaking here and there to match up with our new perspectives.
But I have yet to find a majority who has truly changed, who is all action in line with what they've now deconstructed and then reconstructed, whose deeds match up to their new-found new-defined faith so exactly that it's taking the entire world by storm.
I know there are churches/groups out there (mostly in America/UK, some in Australia, a few scattered elsewhere) that are doing what they believe, but it's still underground, furtive, and you have to really look to find them. (It's a little like trying to find an illegal rave to go to - unless you know who to ask, you'll never discover it.) There's no sweeping swathe of difference in the communities where they flourish. It's still bit-by-bit and one-at-a-time that things are happening. And the stories that might encourage many to take those running leaps are still whispered in closed circles, not shouted from the rooftops (or from the blogs, generally speaking) for the world to gasp at.
Emergent (and I use that term loosely, so I don't have to type "the emerging church" every time...) may still be stamping out fires of criticism from the mainline folk (who get jumpy when things look set to change, and change dramatically). Emergent may still be finding direction. Emergent may still be formulating definitive answers. Doing all that takes time and patience and silence and thinking and talking among ourselves.
But surely it also takes action?
I know Emergent is not into becoming a Movement - getting an organizational heirarchy, developing programmes (perhaps Conferences are exempt - they've had a few already) and funding and all that stuff that can get a movement quagmired down into an organization with too many cogs turning to get anywhere. They (we?) shun it in favour of organic, authentic stuff. So where is the organic, authentic stuff? Shouldn't all the earthy things we've been tending be producing a harvest of bountiful fruit by now?
Shouldn't they be inspiring many of us to try it too - instead of spending days/months/years defending a position and countering accusations?
OK, I shouldn't lump Emergent folks into one big basket. I know many ARE doing good things, experiencing amazing growth and reality in their everyday existance, having eyes opened and seeing change. But it's small-scale, and unless all of us with any interest in this conversation get up off our butts and get our hands dirty, I fear it will peter out into yet another movement that tried, and failed.
Giving and Living
My garage is so full of stuff right now that my car has slept outdoors since the day I got it - and that's a couple of years back.
I explain it away by mentioning that my flat has only one cupboard, other than the kitchen ones, so it's extra storage. True, but storage for what? For all the STUFF I've collected and hardly ever use, nearly never think about.
Now and then I do a cupboard-sweep, chucking out clothes we no longer wear, things my son's grown out of (at a rate!) - leaving me with more space than clothing, as I seldom can bring myself to pay astronomical amounts for new things, even if they're needed. I take boxes of stuff I haven't looked at, which have been cluttering up my space - and I dump a car-load in the garage. It's a bit of a mission - the garages for this small block of 6 flats are up the hill at a distance. Yet another excuse to dump stuff up there and forget it.
But lately I've been rethinking my habits. I'm tired of being a packrat and hoarding stuff that gathers dust. I know I have an entire car-load of useable clothing there - and it's winter, and I COULD donate a lot of that to folk who need it. I know I have a library of books, which should be sold or given away. There are all sorts of things that just serve as fodder and nesting space for the rat I KNOW lives somewhere up there. There is one box of treasures that will go wherever I do, but the rest is rid-able.
With my new-found purpose, my new-found sense that I'm actually someone that matters (though it takes a bashing now and then, leaving me feeling insignificant), I find myself eyeing that stack of stuff and wanting to do something with it.
This weekend I chatted to my son about living as not only a Christian, but as a fellow-human citizen of this planet, and how that means we need to care for those around us, no matter who they are. We talked about looking after our environment and making a difference. And how sorting jerseys and jackets to take to those who need it is "church" - and how, nevermind church, it's our human duty to do what we can for others.
Last night, while my son dawdled over his homework until 10:00, I got into the frenzied-cleaning mode again, and scrubbed down an awful lot of stuff. I chucked junk and dusted surfaces - and thought, and thought and thought.
But the thinking must end, and the action must come. Even though I don't know who to give to, I must give. I can no longer hoard and clutch my Stuff to my chest. My hands and my arms must open to those around me. Sometimes I see it as driving the streets to give warm clothes to the homeless. Sometimes I see it as giving my time. Or finding one charity and supporting it. It's a vague vision, and that tends to hold me back from doing. And yet I MUST do.
This weekend I start to sort my junk, fix clothes that need it, find items of use that others may want, and then start giving.
Once I give, I can live. Not making sense? Well, see it this way. How much living can you do when you spend all your time tending your stuff? When your space is so crowded that you're overwhelmed and all you can do is sit and stare at it, not knowing where to start? When you can't open your hands because you're too busy clutching at what's "mine!"? Clear space, clear mind - and clarity forward.
I mentioned last week that clarity is what I need. It's starting at home, like charity. And I'll take it from there.
I explain it away by mentioning that my flat has only one cupboard, other than the kitchen ones, so it's extra storage. True, but storage for what? For all the STUFF I've collected and hardly ever use, nearly never think about.
Now and then I do a cupboard-sweep, chucking out clothes we no longer wear, things my son's grown out of (at a rate!) - leaving me with more space than clothing, as I seldom can bring myself to pay astronomical amounts for new things, even if they're needed. I take boxes of stuff I haven't looked at, which have been cluttering up my space - and I dump a car-load in the garage. It's a bit of a mission - the garages for this small block of 6 flats are up the hill at a distance. Yet another excuse to dump stuff up there and forget it.
But lately I've been rethinking my habits. I'm tired of being a packrat and hoarding stuff that gathers dust. I know I have an entire car-load of useable clothing there - and it's winter, and I COULD donate a lot of that to folk who need it. I know I have a library of books, which should be sold or given away. There are all sorts of things that just serve as fodder and nesting space for the rat I KNOW lives somewhere up there. There is one box of treasures that will go wherever I do, but the rest is rid-able.
With my new-found purpose, my new-found sense that I'm actually someone that matters (though it takes a bashing now and then, leaving me feeling insignificant), I find myself eyeing that stack of stuff and wanting to do something with it.
This weekend I chatted to my son about living as not only a Christian, but as a fellow-human citizen of this planet, and how that means we need to care for those around us, no matter who they are. We talked about looking after our environment and making a difference. And how sorting jerseys and jackets to take to those who need it is "church" - and how, nevermind church, it's our human duty to do what we can for others.
Last night, while my son dawdled over his homework until 10:00, I got into the frenzied-cleaning mode again, and scrubbed down an awful lot of stuff. I chucked junk and dusted surfaces - and thought, and thought and thought.
But the thinking must end, and the action must come. Even though I don't know who to give to, I must give. I can no longer hoard and clutch my Stuff to my chest. My hands and my arms must open to those around me. Sometimes I see it as driving the streets to give warm clothes to the homeless. Sometimes I see it as giving my time. Or finding one charity and supporting it. It's a vague vision, and that tends to hold me back from doing. And yet I MUST do.
This weekend I start to sort my junk, fix clothes that need it, find items of use that others may want, and then start giving.
Once I give, I can live. Not making sense? Well, see it this way. How much living can you do when you spend all your time tending your stuff? When your space is so crowded that you're overwhelmed and all you can do is sit and stare at it, not knowing where to start? When you can't open your hands because you're too busy clutching at what's "mine!"? Clear space, clear mind - and clarity forward.
I mentioned last week that clarity is what I need. It's starting at home, like charity. And I'll take it from there.
Surprises all round!
First Michael Jackson gets off scott-free, and now Zuma is dismissed! If you don't know who Zuma is, he's our Deputy President, second in command to run this place they call South Africa.
Why is he dismissed? Well, thanks to some shady dealings with a guy recently convicted after a long drawn out trial of fraud & corruption.
Amazing - I thought his political party would smooth things over and hide him away until the crisis has passed, but perhaps they're coming right after all.
Why is he dismissed? Well, thanks to some shady dealings with a guy recently convicted after a long drawn out trial of fraud & corruption.
Amazing - I thought his political party would smooth things over and hide him away until the crisis has passed, but perhaps they're coming right after all.
Frozen Chosen
Geez, but it's been cold here lately! (I know, I'm resorting to talking about the weather, but it's a noteworthy topic...). Winter has well and truly HIT. I'm pretty sure it's snowed near here.
Thank goodness for:
* Dogwarmer against the back each night (though it would be really nice if he moved over so I wasn't sleeping half-off the DOUBLE bed...! And no, he can't be shifted, at least not without a growl or two. He also creeps back to his original position if I turn over.)
* Milo for supper.
* Heaters to defrost feet and dry out uniforms (which were washed 2 days ago and are still very damp).
* Burn-your-throat fresh coffee.
* Layers of jerseys and jackets and shirts.
* Mashed potato and baked butternut, and hot tomato-ey pasta with pesto and loads of cheese.
* Self-saucing chocolate puddings, and hot-from-the-oven cookies and... (better watch that winter weight-gain).
However, it would be nice to have:
* Enough sunshine to actually dry the front lawn. It's been wet for months and is a total quagmire.
* A whole-house heater.
* A day with no rain so I can cut the lawn.
* Warm weather to walk outside with the dogs, like up the mountain or even just around the block! Starting to get cabin fever...
* A one-way ticket to a tropical island.
OK, I'm thankful that we don't get snowed in and have to break the ice from the bathwater in the mornings, but I'm a summer child and although I like winter for snuggling up and spending insane amounts of time vegging, I prefer the freckles on my face to meet up in a single tan and for my legs not to glow in the dark.
One day we'll see the sun again...
Thank goodness for:
* Dogwarmer against the back each night (though it would be really nice if he moved over so I wasn't sleeping half-off the DOUBLE bed...! And no, he can't be shifted, at least not without a growl or two. He also creeps back to his original position if I turn over.)
* Milo for supper.
* Heaters to defrost feet and dry out uniforms (which were washed 2 days ago and are still very damp).
* Burn-your-throat fresh coffee.
* Layers of jerseys and jackets and shirts.
* Mashed potato and baked butternut, and hot tomato-ey pasta with pesto and loads of cheese.
* Self-saucing chocolate puddings, and hot-from-the-oven cookies and... (better watch that winter weight-gain).
However, it would be nice to have:
* Enough sunshine to actually dry the front lawn. It's been wet for months and is a total quagmire.
* A whole-house heater.
* A day with no rain so I can cut the lawn.
* Warm weather to walk outside with the dogs, like up the mountain or even just around the block! Starting to get cabin fever...
* A one-way ticket to a tropical island.
OK, I'm thankful that we don't get snowed in and have to break the ice from the bathwater in the mornings, but I'm a summer child and although I like winter for snuggling up and spending insane amounts of time vegging, I prefer the freckles on my face to meet up in a single tan and for my legs not to glow in the dark.
One day we'll see the sun again...
Writing Another Book
Earlier this year I wrote a book - well, more a manual than a book. It was for my Basic Web Design class, and a lot of hard work went into it. Unfortunately, as many manuals are, it was entirely under-appreciated by the class I taught.
Yet here I sit, considering writing another book - and this time not a manual. Rather, a story of my journey as it unfolds. A story of darkness and dust, light and inspiration, passion lost and foundations found. It's still in the thinking stages, but I can see it happening.
It's not a book for publishing, unless someone reads it and considers it worthy of such. It's a book I can read a few years down the road and remember where I've come from, and where I thought I was going.
I don't know if it will be a book with an ending. Journeys seldom have a destination, just pauses on the road or overnights at a friend's house. It may be a book that gets written for the rest of my life.
I'm no good at hand-written journalling. I like to blog, and I'm quick on the keyboard. I can picture this in chapters, not daily-entry pages. I can see an introduction and a cover.
I just can't see any of our local Christian stores stocking it... :) Way too out-of-the-regular-Christian-way for them!!!
Yet here I sit, considering writing another book - and this time not a manual. Rather, a story of my journey as it unfolds. A story of darkness and dust, light and inspiration, passion lost and foundations found. It's still in the thinking stages, but I can see it happening.
It's not a book for publishing, unless someone reads it and considers it worthy of such. It's a book I can read a few years down the road and remember where I've come from, and where I thought I was going.
I don't know if it will be a book with an ending. Journeys seldom have a destination, just pauses on the road or overnights at a friend's house. It may be a book that gets written for the rest of my life.
I'm no good at hand-written journalling. I like to blog, and I'm quick on the keyboard. I can picture this in chapters, not daily-entry pages. I can see an introduction and a cover.
I just can't see any of our local Christian stores stocking it... :) Way too out-of-the-regular-Christian-way for them!!!
Everything you know might be wrong
On Saturday I started reading a book I received last week, Brian McLaren's latest - "The Last Word & The Word After That". It's the final in a trilogy that include "A New Kind of Christian" and "The Story We Find Ourselved In".
Unfortunately, I haven't read the first two, but am just over half-way through this one now.
And it's challenging!
I started out reading with tears in my eyes at the end of each chapter, as the (fictional) story follows the struggles of a pastor who has started questioning his beliefs, and as a result has been asked to "sit it out" from his church while his church board/council decides what to do with his new views (and him!). There was so much I could relate to - being made to feel an outsider when beliefs change, not quite fitting in ever again but missing some of the community feeling of belonging. He's lucky, in that he has a couple of very wise friends that he bounces ideas off of, and who help him find direction, and an understanding wife.
After the blurry eyes, came a feeling of panic as my life-long beliefs were challenged.
What if everything I know is wrong?
Over the past few years it's a feeling I've come to know well. At the start of this unknown journey I stripped away everything I thought I knew, and started from scratch. I wanted to find out for myself why I believed what I believed, and not just take it from some higher authorities' mouth. There are many things that were discarded along the path, and others that I hold firmer to now than ever.
But every so often some things I thought I knew get challenged, and challenged deeply by people I respect and by people whom I'm sure know a heck of a lot more about these things than I do. People who have studied theology, and history, and language, and perhaps are highly-respected in their fields - while I still muddle along hoping I accidentaly find an answer here and there....
And Brian McLaren is one of those folk I really, really respect for opinion. Except that our beliefs don't line up all the time - and I can't defend exactly why.
Sure, he says this is all a "conversation", he never gives a definite answer to the original question (in this case, hell and the various views on it) but leaves you to come to your own conclusion. Both empowering, and slightly irritating!
So sometimes I wonder - have I got it wrong? What if, as he says, my views on hell have truly coloured the kind of God I see, in a BAD way, and determined how the rest of my faith-journey progresses? Can it really be that simple? Does any one of us actually know for certain what hell is, what heaven is, and what is going to happen between now and then? He's already placed my particular view in a box of "conditionalism". I hate labels, but there it stands in black & white on the page.
I guess in a way I grew up sheltered from other views. I was really surprised to find them "out there" when I took a step back from church and started getting to know folk from other traditions, denominations and faiths. I found out my beliefs may not be iron-clad after all, and most might even find them completely wacky.
Perhaps we approach the Bible from many different angles, and our upbringing, experiences, journey, colour the way we interpret a single text - turning it into a rainbow of options rather than a solid colour.
What would it mean to me if everything I know IS wrong? I don't know - and that's why at times I start to panic.
-------------
Half-way through the book I could go no further. I had to have time to think things through. It was information overload and needed processing. I put it aside until next week.
I think best when my hands are busy. I thought so much this weekend that my tupperware cupboard, the top of the fridge (a general dumping ground), my room and one cupboard that I've never cleared out are now clean and orderly. I thought so hard that my muscles ache.
In spite of all that thinking I still don't have a conclusion. Perhaps by the end of the book I will?
Unfortunately, I haven't read the first two, but am just over half-way through this one now.
And it's challenging!
I started out reading with tears in my eyes at the end of each chapter, as the (fictional) story follows the struggles of a pastor who has started questioning his beliefs, and as a result has been asked to "sit it out" from his church while his church board/council decides what to do with his new views (and him!). There was so much I could relate to - being made to feel an outsider when beliefs change, not quite fitting in ever again but missing some of the community feeling of belonging. He's lucky, in that he has a couple of very wise friends that he bounces ideas off of, and who help him find direction, and an understanding wife.
After the blurry eyes, came a feeling of panic as my life-long beliefs were challenged.
What if everything I know is wrong?
Over the past few years it's a feeling I've come to know well. At the start of this unknown journey I stripped away everything I thought I knew, and started from scratch. I wanted to find out for myself why I believed what I believed, and not just take it from some higher authorities' mouth. There are many things that were discarded along the path, and others that I hold firmer to now than ever.
But every so often some things I thought I knew get challenged, and challenged deeply by people I respect and by people whom I'm sure know a heck of a lot more about these things than I do. People who have studied theology, and history, and language, and perhaps are highly-respected in their fields - while I still muddle along hoping I accidentaly find an answer here and there....
And Brian McLaren is one of those folk I really, really respect for opinion. Except that our beliefs don't line up all the time - and I can't defend exactly why.
Sure, he says this is all a "conversation", he never gives a definite answer to the original question (in this case, hell and the various views on it) but leaves you to come to your own conclusion. Both empowering, and slightly irritating!
So sometimes I wonder - have I got it wrong? What if, as he says, my views on hell have truly coloured the kind of God I see, in a BAD way, and determined how the rest of my faith-journey progresses? Can it really be that simple? Does any one of us actually know for certain what hell is, what heaven is, and what is going to happen between now and then? He's already placed my particular view in a box of "conditionalism". I hate labels, but there it stands in black & white on the page.
I guess in a way I grew up sheltered from other views. I was really surprised to find them "out there" when I took a step back from church and started getting to know folk from other traditions, denominations and faiths. I found out my beliefs may not be iron-clad after all, and most might even find them completely wacky.
Perhaps we approach the Bible from many different angles, and our upbringing, experiences, journey, colour the way we interpret a single text - turning it into a rainbow of options rather than a solid colour.
What would it mean to me if everything I know IS wrong? I don't know - and that's why at times I start to panic.
-------------
Half-way through the book I could go no further. I had to have time to think things through. It was information overload and needed processing. I put it aside until next week.
I think best when my hands are busy. I thought so much this weekend that my tupperware cupboard, the top of the fridge (a general dumping ground), my room and one cupboard that I've never cleared out are now clean and orderly. I thought so hard that my muscles ache.
In spite of all that thinking I still don't have a conclusion. Perhaps by the end of the book I will?
Shabbat Shalom
I left work a little early yesterday - just in time, as God was busy painting marvellous things outside, which had been washed away by rain by 5. There's nothing better than rainbows. I've always longed to devote a few years to travelling, photographing rainbows - and then publish a big glossy book of them. There's something ethereal about them, a promise hung on the back of a rainstorm, a glimpse of colours both transparent and solid enough to climb.
And yesterday we got a double one.
And yesterday we got a double one.
Grey Hair and Wrinkles!
I've never been one to worry about laugh lines and stuff. Up till recently I still looked pretty young!
But all that appears to be changing....
I've noticed those laugh lines are turning into wrinkles of the permanent variety. Bags under my eyes bug me more than they used to (and it's a good thing I'm not married - I'm pretty scary in the morning!). My hands are looking older. And all those "blonde" hairs on my head - well, they're actually pure-white grey!
Now I know it could be construed as vanity, but suddenly I'm taking more notice of those ads on tv for anti-wrinkle this, anti-ageing that. They're still prohibitively expensive, but I'm looking nevertheless.
I wonder if after 30 one's body just starts to droop, age, sag and wrinkle up. Could it be that I've spent too many years turning my face to the wonderfully warm sun - without protection? Could it be stress or a lack of sufficient water to keep that plump dewy complexion? Should I frantically try to pack-paddle the aging process, or should I just start dressing like I'm 50?
Then again, I've started noticing an attractive "maturity" in folk my age, particularly of the opposite sex. Like that one very nice bloke I met in Australia, who sports laugh lines around his amazing eyes, and just a touch of grey at the temples. Rather attractive, but perhaps the rest of the package has more to do with it than those few elements.
As a woman, society constantly bombards one with images of the lithe, the young, the skinny - and they're rather disconcerting when one compares them to what's in the mirror. Thankfully, the blonde in my hair means any greys will just make it lighter blonde - just call it natural highlights - but still... one can't hide the aging process forever. And if I keep pulling out grey hairs one of these days I'll be bald!
So what to do? Go splurge on a plethora of beauty products, hoping at least one will live up to its miracle claims? Do what I can now without them? Or just enjoy the droops, wrinkles and greys as a sign of life lived?
But all that appears to be changing....
I've noticed those laugh lines are turning into wrinkles of the permanent variety. Bags under my eyes bug me more than they used to (and it's a good thing I'm not married - I'm pretty scary in the morning!). My hands are looking older. And all those "blonde" hairs on my head - well, they're actually pure-white grey!
Now I know it could be construed as vanity, but suddenly I'm taking more notice of those ads on tv for anti-wrinkle this, anti-ageing that. They're still prohibitively expensive, but I'm looking nevertheless.
I wonder if after 30 one's body just starts to droop, age, sag and wrinkle up. Could it be that I've spent too many years turning my face to the wonderfully warm sun - without protection? Could it be stress or a lack of sufficient water to keep that plump dewy complexion? Should I frantically try to pack-paddle the aging process, or should I just start dressing like I'm 50?
Then again, I've started noticing an attractive "maturity" in folk my age, particularly of the opposite sex. Like that one very nice bloke I met in Australia, who sports laugh lines around his amazing eyes, and just a touch of grey at the temples. Rather attractive, but perhaps the rest of the package has more to do with it than those few elements.
As a woman, society constantly bombards one with images of the lithe, the young, the skinny - and they're rather disconcerting when one compares them to what's in the mirror. Thankfully, the blonde in my hair means any greys will just make it lighter blonde - just call it natural highlights - but still... one can't hide the aging process forever. And if I keep pulling out grey hairs one of these days I'll be bald!
So what to do? Go splurge on a plethora of beauty products, hoping at least one will live up to its miracle claims? Do what I can now without them? Or just enjoy the droops, wrinkles and greys as a sign of life lived?
Vanished
Did you notice all my pictures here consisted of little blank boxes with a red x in them this week?
Our IT guy moved the website over to a new server with more drive space, as I'm about to upload an entire new site and needed room to move. Unfortunately, he backed up the site about a month ago, and didn't move any changes I'd made - including the subdirectory where my pics are stored, along with various tweaks on other pages....
So now begins the long task of not only completing the new site, but restoring everything that WASN'T uploaded from the old site to the new server. We keep finding stuff that doesn't work. Oh joy.
At least today I'll be earning my salary!
Our IT guy moved the website over to a new server with more drive space, as I'm about to upload an entire new site and needed room to move. Unfortunately, he backed up the site about a month ago, and didn't move any changes I'd made - including the subdirectory where my pics are stored, along with various tweaks on other pages....
So now begins the long task of not only completing the new site, but restoring everything that WASN'T uploaded from the old site to the new server. We keep finding stuff that doesn't work. Oh joy.
At least today I'll be earning my salary!
Of Books (passing the book baton)
Kel tagged me to fess-up about my book habits, so here goes.
Total number of books owned
WAY too many. I have 117 Reader's Digest Condensed Books alone! I tend to pick them up for a buck or two at second-hand places and garage sales. A while back I sorted through the boxes in the garage and ended up with a few large piles to sell - but the shelves at home are still groaning under their weight. And then there's the magazines I pick up almost every week at the discount shop.... My son's also into books - which is a VERY good thing, in my view.
I've always wanted to stock a holiday house in the middle of nowhere (eg Karoo) with books and a good fireplace. It would be just the perfect getaway in winter.
Last book I bought
"A Generous Orthodoxy" by Brian McLaren. I'm currently re-reading it.
Oh, hold on - I DID buy a large Steven King novel (Needful Things) while in Australia for $1, to keep me awake on our 5-hour layover at KL airport. That would probably be my most recent purchase.
And then yesterday I got a free-to-review book, so I guess that doesn't count as "bought".
Last book I read
Well, I read every night in the bath - those Reader's Digest thingies again. Last night I read "Flood" - about a dam collapsing above a city. Nice little disaster story! :) REAL book last read - see above.
5 books that mean a lot to me
I'm struggling with faith issues right now, so the one I'm re-reading is doing a lot to build me up again from a place of dead-dark. Other books are kinda hard to pinpoint right now... I tend to absorb what interests me at a certain time, then move on. I read more on the internet than I do in actual paper-and-ink volumes.
Tag 5 people to continue the book baton:
Hmmm... let's see.
Scott, who works in a book store and is somewhat crazy (OK, extremely weird most days! :) )
Kyknoord, who has an entertaining opinion on everything under the sun, "en nogwat"!
Feeble Knees, a soul-sister who is currently expecting a boy!
Robbymac, who I'd love to sit down and chat to for a couple of days
and
Laura, my "patron saint of travel" :)
Total number of books owned
WAY too many. I have 117 Reader's Digest Condensed Books alone! I tend to pick them up for a buck or two at second-hand places and garage sales. A while back I sorted through the boxes in the garage and ended up with a few large piles to sell - but the shelves at home are still groaning under their weight. And then there's the magazines I pick up almost every week at the discount shop.... My son's also into books - which is a VERY good thing, in my view.
I've always wanted to stock a holiday house in the middle of nowhere (eg Karoo) with books and a good fireplace. It would be just the perfect getaway in winter.
Last book I bought
"A Generous Orthodoxy" by Brian McLaren. I'm currently re-reading it.
Oh, hold on - I DID buy a large Steven King novel (Needful Things) while in Australia for $1, to keep me awake on our 5-hour layover at KL airport. That would probably be my most recent purchase.
And then yesterday I got a free-to-review book, so I guess that doesn't count as "bought".
Last book I read
Well, I read every night in the bath - those Reader's Digest thingies again. Last night I read "Flood" - about a dam collapsing above a city. Nice little disaster story! :) REAL book last read - see above.
5 books that mean a lot to me
I'm struggling with faith issues right now, so the one I'm re-reading is doing a lot to build me up again from a place of dead-dark. Other books are kinda hard to pinpoint right now... I tend to absorb what interests me at a certain time, then move on. I read more on the internet than I do in actual paper-and-ink volumes.
Tag 5 people to continue the book baton:
Hmmm... let's see.
Scott, who works in a book store and is somewhat crazy (OK, extremely weird most days! :) )
Kyknoord, who has an entertaining opinion on everything under the sun, "en nogwat"!
Feeble Knees, a soul-sister who is currently expecting a boy!
Robbymac, who I'd love to sit down and chat to for a couple of days
and
Laura, my "patron saint of travel" :)
Befuddled
I took a sick day, and while recovering in bed hoped I could get some thinking done. Unfortunately all I could do was sleep, which did my body good, but...
You see, I've come to the conclusion that I don't really know who I am, where I'm headed, what I want out of life. I don't have a passion, I don't have a plan. And it's stuff I really want to sit and ponder. I'd like clarification - a clear mind. Aah, there's the buzz-word for me - clarity! But the whole time it feels like my brain is swathed in syrup. I can't access the bits that would feed me information and sort out what I'm seeking.
The past few years have been a matter of trudging through life, just going through the daily motions, treading water, not really getting anywhere. And I'm kinda fed up with it. I want more out of life than I've been getting, but to do that I need to know exactly WHAT it is I want - and I can't quite figure it out! It's a bit scary to discover that you're going in circles, and have run so deep a track that getting out seems impossible.
I used to use my Sabbath hours to sit and think in silence. I somewhat remember actually following a thought-line through right to its conclusion, but that was a while back. I haven't had sufficient quiet alone-time, no distractions, to do that in a while. And it bugs me. It's like I'm constantly rushing on to the next thing that needs doing, stamping out fires instead of creating fire-breaks. Crisis management. It's tiring.
You know, in the past I could always picture myself doing something and know I could achieve it. Nowadays I just picture a blank. Goal-less? Perhaps.
Take work, for example. I know I need to make a move soon and find something new to do. I've been doing what I do for almost 10 years now, and it's not what I want to spend my entire life doing. I don't plan to be here this time next year. But trying to imagine my ideal job isn't working out. I can't seem to picture what I'd be doing - or where. (Though for some strange reason I really want to get back to Sydney... maybe that's a start?) So I keep going in circles here.
I wish I could get past this sticky mess in my head and clear up the mist, then see what's beneath there and figure out what my life needs to look like. Now and then I catch a glimpse of it, like a shot of sunlight through a grey day - and then it's gone. It's all disconnected, just random images. I want to get it congealed into one big picture!
So this is what my head's focusing on right now. Picking out the scraps of brillance and trying to put them all into one box. Deciding what's really important to me, what I find good and right and wonderful. Finding my inspiration and learning my passion. Developing an image of what my life should look like and what I should be doing.
It just takes a very long time. And peace/quiet is in short supply. One can't think things through when the phone keeps ringing, people keep wanting stuff, there's noise and attention-grabbers.
My son will be going on a 3-day camp with his class near the end of July (we've never been apart that long before!) - perhaps that's my chance to turn off all the distractions at home and sit in the dark and think. To find clarity and a path forward.
----
But there's a flip-side to this. Just before bed last night I was listening with my son to the final chapter of The Final Battle (Narnia) on CD - where everyone ends up in "Aslan's Land" (heaven). It's inspiring, it's awesome, it yet again brought tears to my eyes and a longing in my heart.
And made me wonder why I'm muddling about with things here, on a planet that won't last forever, instead of just looking forward to a place beyond my wildest dreams that will last forever...
Yet another thing to think about.
You see, I've come to the conclusion that I don't really know who I am, where I'm headed, what I want out of life. I don't have a passion, I don't have a plan. And it's stuff I really want to sit and ponder. I'd like clarification - a clear mind. Aah, there's the buzz-word for me - clarity! But the whole time it feels like my brain is swathed in syrup. I can't access the bits that would feed me information and sort out what I'm seeking.
The past few years have been a matter of trudging through life, just going through the daily motions, treading water, not really getting anywhere. And I'm kinda fed up with it. I want more out of life than I've been getting, but to do that I need to know exactly WHAT it is I want - and I can't quite figure it out! It's a bit scary to discover that you're going in circles, and have run so deep a track that getting out seems impossible.
I used to use my Sabbath hours to sit and think in silence. I somewhat remember actually following a thought-line through right to its conclusion, but that was a while back. I haven't had sufficient quiet alone-time, no distractions, to do that in a while. And it bugs me. It's like I'm constantly rushing on to the next thing that needs doing, stamping out fires instead of creating fire-breaks. Crisis management. It's tiring.
You know, in the past I could always picture myself doing something and know I could achieve it. Nowadays I just picture a blank. Goal-less? Perhaps.
Take work, for example. I know I need to make a move soon and find something new to do. I've been doing what I do for almost 10 years now, and it's not what I want to spend my entire life doing. I don't plan to be here this time next year. But trying to imagine my ideal job isn't working out. I can't seem to picture what I'd be doing - or where. (Though for some strange reason I really want to get back to Sydney... maybe that's a start?) So I keep going in circles here.
I wish I could get past this sticky mess in my head and clear up the mist, then see what's beneath there and figure out what my life needs to look like. Now and then I catch a glimpse of it, like a shot of sunlight through a grey day - and then it's gone. It's all disconnected, just random images. I want to get it congealed into one big picture!
So this is what my head's focusing on right now. Picking out the scraps of brillance and trying to put them all into one box. Deciding what's really important to me, what I find good and right and wonderful. Finding my inspiration and learning my passion. Developing an image of what my life should look like and what I should be doing.
It just takes a very long time. And peace/quiet is in short supply. One can't think things through when the phone keeps ringing, people keep wanting stuff, there's noise and attention-grabbers.
My son will be going on a 3-day camp with his class near the end of July (we've never been apart that long before!) - perhaps that's my chance to turn off all the distractions at home and sit in the dark and think. To find clarity and a path forward.
----
But there's a flip-side to this. Just before bed last night I was listening with my son to the final chapter of The Final Battle (Narnia) on CD - where everyone ends up in "Aslan's Land" (heaven). It's inspiring, it's awesome, it yet again brought tears to my eyes and a longing in my heart.
And made me wonder why I'm muddling about with things here, on a planet that won't last forever, instead of just looking forward to a place beyond my wildest dreams that will last forever...
Yet another thing to think about.
Aftermath
Another year, another kid's birthday party done! And so am I... I think I'm coming down with something now that all the hard work is over.
These were the boys that turned up (most of them) - birthday boy in orange near the front:
And this was the volcano cake!
Not shown is the garage converted into a maze of very dark crawl-through tunnels and 2 caverns. It took 3 hours to set up on Saturday night! It was constructed out of nearly 50 black plastic rubbish bags, and almost a full roll of clear packing tape. Current garage contents in boxes and bags helped form the passage supports. From the entrance at the front of the garage there was a crawl-space to the first chamber (guarded by a big hanging plastic spider at face-level). In the first chamber there was a "dead man" - clothes hung from the roof, with the shoes just at the right height to clobber the head when you exit the first passage. From there it was a belly-crawl through another twisty passage - and here I hung large, floppy, cold arum lily leaves from the passage roof, which hit you in the face as you went through. Which made at least one boy scream like a girl! :) The final chamber was lined with that popping-plastic-bubble wrapping stuff and filled with balloons.
And there was much merriment, screaming and shouting as the boys explored. Seems to have been a hit!
The only other game we played was pass the bag and when it stops feel the contents, make up a name for the cave monster inside and the best one wins 5 bucks. In the bags were a pile of hair, a squishy toy from Infinity with soft spikes, and a lovely gooey mix made from gelatin and blue water. Gross-out levels soared!
Food went down well - chips and salsa, and home-made honeycomb toffee, and home-made rocky-road, and a container with sour worms and jelly snakes. The cake, as usual, is only half-eaten. Dunno what we'll do with the rest. Send it to school perhaps?
And that's another birthday out the way! The kid scored 215 bucks in prezzie cash, along with a Narnia 3-CD set (The Final Battle), a cool tracksuit and a finger-skateboard. He's already on the PS2 which is his main gift from me, but I have a little something to give him for his ACTUAL birthday tomorrow that he doesn't know about.
Sjoe - I need a weekend now!
These were the boys that turned up (most of them) - birthday boy in orange near the front:
And this was the volcano cake!
Not shown is the garage converted into a maze of very dark crawl-through tunnels and 2 caverns. It took 3 hours to set up on Saturday night! It was constructed out of nearly 50 black plastic rubbish bags, and almost a full roll of clear packing tape. Current garage contents in boxes and bags helped form the passage supports. From the entrance at the front of the garage there was a crawl-space to the first chamber (guarded by a big hanging plastic spider at face-level). In the first chamber there was a "dead man" - clothes hung from the roof, with the shoes just at the right height to clobber the head when you exit the first passage. From there it was a belly-crawl through another twisty passage - and here I hung large, floppy, cold arum lily leaves from the passage roof, which hit you in the face as you went through. Which made at least one boy scream like a girl! :) The final chamber was lined with that popping-plastic-bubble wrapping stuff and filled with balloons.
And there was much merriment, screaming and shouting as the boys explored. Seems to have been a hit!
The only other game we played was pass the bag and when it stops feel the contents, make up a name for the cave monster inside and the best one wins 5 bucks. In the bags were a pile of hair, a squishy toy from Infinity with soft spikes, and a lovely gooey mix made from gelatin and blue water. Gross-out levels soared!
Food went down well - chips and salsa, and home-made honeycomb toffee, and home-made rocky-road, and a container with sour worms and jelly snakes. The cake, as usual, is only half-eaten. Dunno what we'll do with the rest. Send it to school perhaps?
And that's another birthday out the way! The kid scored 215 bucks in prezzie cash, along with a Narnia 3-CD set (The Final Battle), a cool tracksuit and a finger-skateboard. He's already on the PS2 which is his main gift from me, but I have a little something to give him for his ACTUAL birthday tomorrow that he doesn't know about.
Sjoe - I need a weekend now!
Shabbat Shalom
I'm going to need that Shabbat rest this weekend. It will be the only "weekend" that I'll get, with my son's party on Sunday, relatives arriving for that AND lunch (expecting a clean house...), and much to do / get ready. I'm thankful that for 24 hours I can put all thought of the rushing and the doing aside and simply Be for a while. It's a time to refill my inner peace-pool and let body/soul reconnect.
May you find rest too!
Today's weird Google search award goes to...
...."harp tabs bright side of life"!
I didn't know you GOT harp tabs - but then I haven't ever seen harp sheet music, so what do I know.
And I certainly didn't think "Bright side of life" was harp-appropriate! But again, what do I know....
I didn't know you GOT harp tabs - but then I haven't ever seen harp sheet music, so what do I know.
And I certainly didn't think "Bright side of life" was harp-appropriate! But again, what do I know....
I'm glad I'm not a bird
I've been watching these pigeons on the roof outside my office all morning, off and on. There's a howling north-west wind and they've decided the best place to shelter is on the south side of the roof, in or near the gutter. I could think of better places, but they're not called bird-brains for nothing...
On a day like this I'm glad I'm not a bird. Or a dog, stuck outside with a mere dog-box with an open doorway to shelter in. OK, mine also have a verandah, but they still look slightly damp and definitely chilly when we get home at lunchtime. I'm glad I'm not homeless, or living in a shack constructed from zinc sheeting where the wind whistles through the gaps and the rain turns the floor into a lake.
There are now 23 birds in that gutter across from my office. Birds of a feather flocking together. I'm glad I'm not them.
Old-time Snail Mail
While on the subject of snail mail, let me throw out an "educational" post.
During one or other road-trip in Australia, we happened to pick up a radio interview with a stamp expert on how mail was sent a hundred or more years ago.
He mentioned that letters used to be pay-on-delivery, in other words you didn't pay to send them, but did pay to receive and open them. Of course, not everyone wanted to pay for an envelope - and pretty soon some ingenious ways were devised of communicating WITHOUT paying. If you wrote the address a certain way, it indicated all was well, something was wrong, there had been a death etc. That way the recipient could refuse to pay, and still get the message!
Later on stamps were introduced as a pre-pay method of sending communication. The first sheets weren't perforated, and had to be cut by hand with scissors. Many of those stamps ended up cut badly, some bits missing or torn or whatever. To find an undamaged stamp from that era is a big scoop for collectors! (I know of a guy in my dad's church that bought just such a stamp from a seller who didn't know it's value, for some small amount - and it was worth $20,000!). Of course, postmarks were also hand-stamped - who can forget the "traditional" image of some lady at the post office pounding piles of envelopes with an inked stamp?
Can you imagine sending mail in the old days? It travelled long distance by ship, shorter distances over land by horse and carriage. Any way you look at it, it took a long time to get anything to anyone - especially those adventurous types that were off exploring the African bush or something. By the time the letter reached them, the news would be outdated in a big way!
Now I know today's post-office sometimes leaves much to be desired. There are stories of letters sent decades ago that finally turn up - and even getting something from here to a few towns away may take 2 weeks (but perhaps that's just in South Africa). But it's still a far cry from how things worked in the past.
OK, perhaps mail wasn't stolen, and a sense of right still prevailed. One guy I read of used to just chuck his letters out his second-story window, even though there was a postbox right outside his door. He knew anyone who saw an unmailed envelope on the ground would pick it up and put it in the postbox - and they did! Nowadays it might lay there for a while, until it eventually disintegrated...
But sending snail-mail is certainly a lot easier and faster in this day and age. Which makes me wonder, yet again, why so few of us don't take advantage of it. Maybe we've all become lazy?
During one or other road-trip in Australia, we happened to pick up a radio interview with a stamp expert on how mail was sent a hundred or more years ago.
He mentioned that letters used to be pay-on-delivery, in other words you didn't pay to send them, but did pay to receive and open them. Of course, not everyone wanted to pay for an envelope - and pretty soon some ingenious ways were devised of communicating WITHOUT paying. If you wrote the address a certain way, it indicated all was well, something was wrong, there had been a death etc. That way the recipient could refuse to pay, and still get the message!
Later on stamps were introduced as a pre-pay method of sending communication. The first sheets weren't perforated, and had to be cut by hand with scissors. Many of those stamps ended up cut badly, some bits missing or torn or whatever. To find an undamaged stamp from that era is a big scoop for collectors! (I know of a guy in my dad's church that bought just such a stamp from a seller who didn't know it's value, for some small amount - and it was worth $20,000!). Of course, postmarks were also hand-stamped - who can forget the "traditional" image of some lady at the post office pounding piles of envelopes with an inked stamp?
Can you imagine sending mail in the old days? It travelled long distance by ship, shorter distances over land by horse and carriage. Any way you look at it, it took a long time to get anything to anyone - especially those adventurous types that were off exploring the African bush or something. By the time the letter reached them, the news would be outdated in a big way!
Now I know today's post-office sometimes leaves much to be desired. There are stories of letters sent decades ago that finally turn up - and even getting something from here to a few towns away may take 2 weeks (but perhaps that's just in South Africa). But it's still a far cry from how things worked in the past.
OK, perhaps mail wasn't stolen, and a sense of right still prevailed. One guy I read of used to just chuck his letters out his second-story window, even though there was a postbox right outside his door. He knew anyone who saw an unmailed envelope on the ground would pick it up and put it in the postbox - and they did! Nowadays it might lay there for a while, until it eventually disintegrated...
But sending snail-mail is certainly a lot easier and faster in this day and age. Which makes me wonder, yet again, why so few of us don't take advantage of it. Maybe we've all become lazy?
Snail Mail
Can you remember the last genuine hand-written letter you received? Or the last real Christmas card, in an envelope? Or the last birthday card not attached to a present as identification? Kinda hard to do, isn't it.
What about the last letter you actually WROTE, not typed, and then put into an envelope, licked and shut, added a stamp and entrusted to the post office? Nope, can't remember that one. Do I even have an address book anymore, besides the electronic one that tells me people live in my computer and not on a street somewhere?
I've just checked my postbox here at the office, and that's what's set me off on this train of thought. I miss receiving letters - the kind you can put in a shoebox tied up with string and relive years later. The ones that are filled with all those irritating little "sprinkles" (music notes, snowmen, whatever) that fall out when you open the envelope and get stuck in the carpet. The ones that include pictures of folk you haven't seen in a while, or a lipstick kiss on the envelope (sent those, but never received one! :) ), or a whiff of someone's fragrance. The ones with a pressed flower or a piece of the local scenery included. The ones whose envelopes have protected them from travels varied and lengthy, and sometimes show it.
All I get nowadays are my magazine subscriptions, requests for information / applications(hand-written perhaps, but they're not for ME, just for this office), and bills.
I wonder how many others out there miss the personal touch. The one that takes time, effort, a few cramps in hand muscles that have forgotten how to hold a pen, and more planning/expense to deliver than simply hitting the "Send" button. The one that's more than a few hastily-typed (and filled with typo's) words, sent without re-reading and not more than a line long.
Granted, I'm guilty of that. It's a quick way to communicate world-wide, and my typing is both much faster and much neater than my handwriting. Any letters I've written lately have been typed and simply signed. I haven't gone looking for a pad of writing paper (or the sheet with lines that goes behind each page) in many years.
But perhaps it's time to surprise a few people. To actually sit down and write, and think before I pen the words. To remember what it's like not to be able to use the "Del' key when I've made a mistake, and to find where I've hidden the good-quality envelopes.
::update::
Oops - completely forgot to mention that I DO get hand-written notes and packages of cool goodies from my mom regularly! I guess this post has more to do with the friends I only hear from electronically, than the family overseas who makes sure there's things in the post - and for which I am extremely grateful! I love getting those large padded envelopes with surprise stuff in, and believe me it makes everyone else here jealous.
What about the last letter you actually WROTE, not typed, and then put into an envelope, licked and shut, added a stamp and entrusted to the post office? Nope, can't remember that one. Do I even have an address book anymore, besides the electronic one that tells me people live in my computer and not on a street somewhere?
I've just checked my postbox here at the office, and that's what's set me off on this train of thought. I miss receiving letters - the kind you can put in a shoebox tied up with string and relive years later. The ones that are filled with all those irritating little "sprinkles" (music notes, snowmen, whatever) that fall out when you open the envelope and get stuck in the carpet. The ones that include pictures of folk you haven't seen in a while, or a lipstick kiss on the envelope (sent those, but never received one! :) ), or a whiff of someone's fragrance. The ones with a pressed flower or a piece of the local scenery included. The ones whose envelopes have protected them from travels varied and lengthy, and sometimes show it.
All I get nowadays are my magazine subscriptions, requests for information / applications(hand-written perhaps, but they're not for ME, just for this office), and bills.
I wonder how many others out there miss the personal touch. The one that takes time, effort, a few cramps in hand muscles that have forgotten how to hold a pen, and more planning/expense to deliver than simply hitting the "Send" button. The one that's more than a few hastily-typed (and filled with typo's) words, sent without re-reading and not more than a line long.
Granted, I'm guilty of that. It's a quick way to communicate world-wide, and my typing is both much faster and much neater than my handwriting. Any letters I've written lately have been typed and simply signed. I haven't gone looking for a pad of writing paper (or the sheet with lines that goes behind each page) in many years.
But perhaps it's time to surprise a few people. To actually sit down and write, and think before I pen the words. To remember what it's like not to be able to use the "Del' key when I've made a mistake, and to find where I've hidden the good-quality envelopes.
::update::
Oops - completely forgot to mention that I DO get hand-written notes and packages of cool goodies from my mom regularly! I guess this post has more to do with the friends I only hear from electronically, than the family overseas who makes sure there's things in the post - and for which I am extremely grateful! I love getting those large padded envelopes with surprise stuff in, and believe me it makes everyone else here jealous.
DVD Shopping
So now we have a PS2 - AND a DVD remote! Killed 2 birds with one stone, and I guess it's time to start shopping for DVDs then. (We'll do without surround sound and all that in the meantime)
We've got a stack of videos, but everyone knows that such things wear out with excessive watching, and we certainly have watched a number of them to death. But we don't necessarily want to replace them.
However, I do have a definite wish-list:
1. Lord of the Rings extended editions (all 3 movies) - currently way too pricey here in SA, but on the wishlist nevertheless
2. Umm...suddenly I can't think of movies I want!
Here's where you come in. Kalahari.net has a 15-60% off special going, and my credit card is getting itchy for action... Some of the DVDs are OK-priced, some I know I can get cheaper at, say, Game or CNA or some other place (especially with "shipping" factored in).
I'm not mad about "skop skiet en donder" (shoot 'em up, blood and guts) movies, or extra-scary freaky ones (think Dean R Koontz - that guy must have some AWFUL nightmares!). Somewhat scary is OK ("28 days later"). I like the "epic" type stuff with big scenery (think "Out of Africa", "Braveheart", "LOTR", "4 feathers" etc), good visual effects and a decent story line. I don't like pokey little psychologically-weird twisted tales (eg "battered wife won't leave abusive husband, and it all takes place in a run-down hovel with no hope in sight" type thing). I like romantic comedies (Notting Hill), and other comedies (Monty Python!), as long as they're not STUPID comedies (Dumb & Dumber, Scary Movie...). I like sci-fi (Stargate, Star Trek Enterprise, X-files), fantasy (Harry Potter, and the upcoming Narnia is on my must-watch list) or just-off-reality adventures (The Mummy - OK, maybe that's a bit FAR off reality). I enjoy old-fashioned stuff where honour is defended and all that rot. I like a good cry now and then too.
My son's into much the same stuff. Add in animated stuff like Shrek or Ice Age and kid's movies like Spy Kids, and you've got a pretty good picture of what's on our shelves. We also like a bit of nature-programme stuff handy too.
What DVDs do you think should be on my wishlist? Now's your chance to contribute to our mindless entertainment!!!
We've got a stack of videos, but everyone knows that such things wear out with excessive watching, and we certainly have watched a number of them to death. But we don't necessarily want to replace them.
However, I do have a definite wish-list:
1. Lord of the Rings extended editions (all 3 movies) - currently way too pricey here in SA, but on the wishlist nevertheless
2. Umm...suddenly I can't think of movies I want!
Here's where you come in. Kalahari.net has a 15-60% off special going, and my credit card is getting itchy for action... Some of the DVDs are OK-priced, some I know I can get cheaper at, say, Game or CNA or some other place (especially with "shipping" factored in).
I'm not mad about "skop skiet en donder" (shoot 'em up, blood and guts) movies, or extra-scary freaky ones (think Dean R Koontz - that guy must have some AWFUL nightmares!). Somewhat scary is OK ("28 days later"). I like the "epic" type stuff with big scenery (think "Out of Africa", "Braveheart", "LOTR", "4 feathers" etc), good visual effects and a decent story line. I don't like pokey little psychologically-weird twisted tales (eg "battered wife won't leave abusive husband, and it all takes place in a run-down hovel with no hope in sight" type thing). I like romantic comedies (Notting Hill), and other comedies (Monty Python!), as long as they're not STUPID comedies (Dumb & Dumber, Scary Movie...). I like sci-fi (Stargate, Star Trek Enterprise, X-files), fantasy (Harry Potter, and the upcoming Narnia is on my must-watch list) or just-off-reality adventures (The Mummy - OK, maybe that's a bit FAR off reality). I enjoy old-fashioned stuff where honour is defended and all that rot. I like a good cry now and then too.
My son's into much the same stuff. Add in animated stuff like Shrek or Ice Age and kid's movies like Spy Kids, and you've got a pretty good picture of what's on our shelves. We also like a bit of nature-programme stuff handy too.
What DVDs do you think should be on my wishlist? Now's your chance to contribute to our mindless entertainment!!!
Birthdays and Work and ...
It's been pretty quiet on my blog this week. Yup, I'm busy.
My son's birthday party is this weekend, and as usual I have 17 boys turning up to be entertained for an hour and a half on Sunday morning. His parties have become legendary among the classmates, and I have a reputation to uphold! :) He's got a "volcanoes and caves" theme, and on Saturday night I'll be transforming the garage (with the aid of a large roll of black rubbish bags and various obstacles) into a dark, cave-type maze to be crawled through and explored, ending in a cavern where certain games and perhaps eating will take place. I have yet to bake the cake - it will be mountain-shaped, with a lined hollow in the top, into which a smoke bomb will be dropped to produce smoke and "lava". Food must be produced, and creatively named according to the theme (rocks and dust and lava and bat-droppings, stuff like that). In other words, this week will be flat-out party planning after hours.
And then there's work. I'm determined to complete this darned website as soon as possible, but as usual am having trouble getting info out of departments for their sections, and even more trouble getting people to simply stand in front of a backdrop for a photo update! You'd swear I was trying to pull out their nails with a pliers...
So there's not a whole lot of bloggable stuff going on on my head right now. It's just getting on with life and its duties that's taking up my days. But if anything interesting turns up, it will be noted here.
My son's birthday party is this weekend, and as usual I have 17 boys turning up to be entertained for an hour and a half on Sunday morning. His parties have become legendary among the classmates, and I have a reputation to uphold! :) He's got a "volcanoes and caves" theme, and on Saturday night I'll be transforming the garage (with the aid of a large roll of black rubbish bags and various obstacles) into a dark, cave-type maze to be crawled through and explored, ending in a cavern where certain games and perhaps eating will take place. I have yet to bake the cake - it will be mountain-shaped, with a lined hollow in the top, into which a smoke bomb will be dropped to produce smoke and "lava". Food must be produced, and creatively named according to the theme (rocks and dust and lava and bat-droppings, stuff like that). In other words, this week will be flat-out party planning after hours.
And then there's work. I'm determined to complete this darned website as soon as possible, but as usual am having trouble getting info out of departments for their sections, and even more trouble getting people to simply stand in front of a backdrop for a photo update! You'd swear I was trying to pull out their nails with a pliers...
So there's not a whole lot of bloggable stuff going on on my head right now. It's just getting on with life and its duties that's taking up my days. But if anything interesting turns up, it will be noted here.
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