Facebook...
... has just had the "plug pulled" (been banned / disconnected) at my workplace. Yet another reason I'm glad I didn't get hooked in the first place. Others are not so lucky.
Fresh Air
If you're not in the habit of reading my other blog, you may be interested to see how I arrived at work this morning.. ;-)
Raising boys
In the past week I've had a major struggle with my son that ended in a long talk in private and a couple of things being clarified. It's the "head" of a collective situation with more facets than I can mention here, or want to.
But there's one thing that struck me (again) this morning and is getting a bit of screen space as a result.
I grew up outdoors. Running barefoot (with many a stubbed toe), out on my bike, building shelters in the long grass, racing down to the ice-cream shop on hot days, making mudpies and delving into grandpa's woodworking chest to chisel stuff. I rode my bike to school whenever I could. After school would see me on it to friends or riding up and down the road. Or we'd be building If I was indoors, it was nowhere near a TV (we didn't have one) or a computer (first one only acquired in 1984 and not for the use of children). If I was indoors there was a very good reason for it... rain (but not always - sometimes I'd be out in it) or illness or homework. Or perhaps with my nose stuck in a book, or making scraps of fabric into clothing for my Sindy doll, or "ice-skating" the parquet passage floor in socks, or listening to the "Men from the Ministry" on Springbok radio come Sunday night. Holidays were either the Groot Trek to my grandparents farm in South Africa once a year, where more time was spent outdoors - or to some other part of the country of Zimbabwe.
Hence my love of nature, of wild thunderstorms, of the smell of the bush in summer, and of adventure. Among many other things :-)
You see, growing up like that taught me a hell of a lot too. Stuff I still use in how I approach life. What I learnt running barefoot has carried over into how I live. The values instilled in me then run true and solid today.
However, here's the reality of today's kids - and it's so very different. Their worldview, their environment, the things they know and are familiar with.
And here's where my struggles as a mom come in.
I'd love for my son to have the same grounded upbringing I got, to hit adulthood with skills and knowledge such as I have. But a lot of this is so very hard to pass on. I know I could have done a whole lot more when he was younger - although we grew up in a very "rural" environment, safe for him to run around a large property with his friends, out in nature, it's not the same as what I had. He has the distractions of TV, internet & computer, PS2. We're now in a security complex where he knows no-one, and in recent years he's withdrawn from a few of the friend circles he had as relationships change. As a single mom, I haven't had the time or energy to do so many things I've wanted to with him. And yet there's a part of me that says that's no excuse. That others have come right with this one, so why haven't I?
On the flip side of the coin is personality differences. I'm an "A type", my son's a "B type". How I see things is not how he does. My priorities and his are very different - and to find balance between that is not easy. I admit I've struggled for a few years to recognize that genetics and characteristics are two different things - one can be passed on, the other isn't.
At the moment I'm doing a lot of thinking for the way forward. How I can hand over more of my skills, knowledge, world-view and outlook to my son. How I can equip him to be a success as an adult. How I can ensure that he grows into a confident and secure man.
I guess it's really just one step at a time.
But there's one thing that struck me (again) this morning and is getting a bit of screen space as a result.
I grew up outdoors. Running barefoot (with many a stubbed toe), out on my bike, building shelters in the long grass, racing down to the ice-cream shop on hot days, making mudpies and delving into grandpa's woodworking chest to chisel stuff. I rode my bike to school whenever I could. After school would see me on it to friends or riding up and down the road. Or we'd be building If I was indoors, it was nowhere near a TV (we didn't have one) or a computer (first one only acquired in 1984 and not for the use of children). If I was indoors there was a very good reason for it... rain (but not always - sometimes I'd be out in it) or illness or homework. Or perhaps with my nose stuck in a book, or making scraps of fabric into clothing for my Sindy doll, or "ice-skating" the parquet passage floor in socks, or listening to the "Men from the Ministry" on Springbok radio come Sunday night. Holidays were either the Groot Trek to my grandparents farm in South Africa once a year, where more time was spent outdoors - or to some other part of the country of Zimbabwe.
Hence my love of nature, of wild thunderstorms, of the smell of the bush in summer, and of adventure. Among many other things :-)
You see, growing up like that taught me a hell of a lot too. Stuff I still use in how I approach life. What I learnt running barefoot has carried over into how I live. The values instilled in me then run true and solid today.
However, here's the reality of today's kids - and it's so very different. Their worldview, their environment, the things they know and are familiar with.
And here's where my struggles as a mom come in.
I'd love for my son to have the same grounded upbringing I got, to hit adulthood with skills and knowledge such as I have. But a lot of this is so very hard to pass on. I know I could have done a whole lot more when he was younger - although we grew up in a very "rural" environment, safe for him to run around a large property with his friends, out in nature, it's not the same as what I had. He has the distractions of TV, internet & computer, PS2. We're now in a security complex where he knows no-one, and in recent years he's withdrawn from a few of the friend circles he had as relationships change. As a single mom, I haven't had the time or energy to do so many things I've wanted to with him. And yet there's a part of me that says that's no excuse. That others have come right with this one, so why haven't I?
On the flip side of the coin is personality differences. I'm an "A type", my son's a "B type". How I see things is not how he does. My priorities and his are very different - and to find balance between that is not easy. I admit I've struggled for a few years to recognize that genetics and characteristics are two different things - one can be passed on, the other isn't.
At the moment I'm doing a lot of thinking for the way forward. How I can hand over more of my skills, knowledge, world-view and outlook to my son. How I can equip him to be a success as an adult. How I can ensure that he grows into a confident and secure man.
I guess it's really just one step at a time.
Snap
Last night we met my dad and his fiancé (yes, he's remarrying, in 3 weeks time) at the airport (and my boyfriend met the family too - big night all round!). While we were waiting, we noticed a rather well-built young chick just in front of us, wearing skin-tight jeans and a pair of sexy knee-high stilletto boots.
Apparently we weren't the only ones who noticed her. Directly in front of us was a young man who had roaming eyes too! Except he took it one step further - much to our amusement. He hauled out his cellphone, took a snap of her butt and sent it on! She either didn't notice, or didn't care.
Took a while for us to stop giggling... Wonder where that shot's going to end up?
Apparently we weren't the only ones who noticed her. Directly in front of us was a young man who had roaming eyes too! Except he took it one step further - much to our amusement. He hauled out his cellphone, took a snap of her butt and sent it on! She either didn't notice, or didn't care.
Took a while for us to stop giggling... Wonder where that shot's going to end up?
Changes
Spring is (officially) a week and a half away. Some get itchy noses as pollen kicks in - some get itchy feet. I'm one of the latter. Or rather, it's not merely itchy feet as much as some "Personal Spring Cleaning" urges. Just like the house-cleaning urges that drive you to throw open windows (and wash them), air the dark corners and scrub things top to bottom.
A lot has changed in recent months. I'm no longer single (and loving it). I have a stripped-down Landy and a bundle of new knowledge (more on the way). I've gained clarity as to what I will and won't stand for, and "settled down" in who I am. I have more of a sense of direction than I did 6 months ago, and I know what I want.
So change is coming. Once more. In ways small and big. I've started work on a few dreams that have lain dormant too long. I've seen a glimpse of what I want - enough to drive me toward it with determination. I've started to stand up and be counted in my dealings with others, in asking for and expecting to receive what I want/need, and in shedding the doormat tendancies. A large chunk of my life is being reprioritized to line up with my goals. And those things that just feel wrong are out with the Friday-morning rubbish.
It's a bit like those old educational movies about atoms. Instead of wildly chaotic roaming electrons, mine are finally settling down into their proper resonance, orbiting a core that is steady and calm, at peace and certain.
And that's a big thing.
A lot has changed in recent months. I'm no longer single (and loving it). I have a stripped-down Landy and a bundle of new knowledge (more on the way). I've gained clarity as to what I will and won't stand for, and "settled down" in who I am. I have more of a sense of direction than I did 6 months ago, and I know what I want.
So change is coming. Once more. In ways small and big. I've started work on a few dreams that have lain dormant too long. I've seen a glimpse of what I want - enough to drive me toward it with determination. I've started to stand up and be counted in my dealings with others, in asking for and expecting to receive what I want/need, and in shedding the doormat tendancies. A large chunk of my life is being reprioritized to line up with my goals. And those things that just feel wrong are out with the Friday-morning rubbish.
It's a bit like those old educational movies about atoms. Instead of wildly chaotic roaming electrons, mine are finally settling down into their proper resonance, orbiting a core that is steady and calm, at peace and certain.
And that's a big thing.
Customer (non)Service
I'm not one to get angry easily, but lately I've become more and more (gently, nonconfrontationally :-) ) fed up with a total disregard for customer service in South Africa.
Take the Dell locals. The boyfriend's computer was giving hassles recently and he phoned them up asking for help as it was still under guarantee. Not only was any form of help particularly nonforthcoming, but they actually turned around and moaned at him for trying to get it! Repeatedly!
Then there's the doctor. Apparently this morning they're "not taking new patients" - which leaves me to wonder if another patient has to die first in order to make space for you on their schedule, and what precisely one should do if one actually needs decent medical attention?!
Add in the wiring guys. Last week we turned up at their front door to order a substantial amount of electrical wiring for Olivia, and asked that it be delivered as they didn't have it in stock. They were happy to do so, said it would be there first thing on Tuesday. It's the middle of Wednesday. We're still waiting. Phonecalls have placed the blame at the feet of the courier, the driver, and everyone else under the sun - so we sit on our hands.
Down the road at the motor spares - ask for one thing, get offered another completely different to what you asked for. Yes, it's more pricey, but it's what we asked for! Don't you want to make a decent sale?
The two-way radio guy - no seeing him without an appointment. How does he manage to sell anything? Surely merely stepping out of his door and shaking your hand would be a good start?
The radio licence folk - they'll process the application "when they get around to it". We can't buy the radio without the licence...
The auto-electricians. We ended up having to determine the size of and source our own fanbelts last week, making two trips to the motor spares and then having the original ones fitted anyway. Took them two days to do a one-day job, as the bloke working on the alternator kept disappearing to the shops for lunch, breakfast, tea etc. We physically drove there to check on progress many times and eventually resorted to me simply sitting watching the guy and waiting for him to be done.
The sandblasters - they promised to take our stuff to the galvanizers. It sat for 3 days before we discovered it hadn't been done.
I'm really starting to lose faith in people's ability to exceed expectations, and in business's ability to provide topnotch customer service. At every turn there's more of the same - apathy, uncaring treatment of the customer and a disregard for the fact that you'll make more cash if you're treating people right.
When I find good customer service, you can bet I'll be back there. And yes, there are some places that have done half-decently. Unfortunately they're way too few and far apart.
I have no doubt that if one single company took it upon themselves to provide cracking customer service (let's go out on a totally-won't-happen limb and say someone like Telkom), to outdo everyone else in making sure their customers are valued and cared for, by everyone from the top management to the lowest employee, people would come flocking to their door.
Perhaps one day these other blokes will realize just that...
Take the Dell locals. The boyfriend's computer was giving hassles recently and he phoned them up asking for help as it was still under guarantee. Not only was any form of help particularly nonforthcoming, but they actually turned around and moaned at him for trying to get it! Repeatedly!
Then there's the doctor. Apparently this morning they're "not taking new patients" - which leaves me to wonder if another patient has to die first in order to make space for you on their schedule, and what precisely one should do if one actually needs decent medical attention?!
Add in the wiring guys. Last week we turned up at their front door to order a substantial amount of electrical wiring for Olivia, and asked that it be delivered as they didn't have it in stock. They were happy to do so, said it would be there first thing on Tuesday. It's the middle of Wednesday. We're still waiting. Phonecalls have placed the blame at the feet of the courier, the driver, and everyone else under the sun - so we sit on our hands.
Down the road at the motor spares - ask for one thing, get offered another completely different to what you asked for. Yes, it's more pricey, but it's what we asked for! Don't you want to make a decent sale?
The two-way radio guy - no seeing him without an appointment. How does he manage to sell anything? Surely merely stepping out of his door and shaking your hand would be a good start?
The radio licence folk - they'll process the application "when they get around to it". We can't buy the radio without the licence...
The auto-electricians. We ended up having to determine the size of and source our own fanbelts last week, making two trips to the motor spares and then having the original ones fitted anyway. Took them two days to do a one-day job, as the bloke working on the alternator kept disappearing to the shops for lunch, breakfast, tea etc. We physically drove there to check on progress many times and eventually resorted to me simply sitting watching the guy and waiting for him to be done.
The sandblasters - they promised to take our stuff to the galvanizers. It sat for 3 days before we discovered it hadn't been done.
I'm really starting to lose faith in people's ability to exceed expectations, and in business's ability to provide topnotch customer service. At every turn there's more of the same - apathy, uncaring treatment of the customer and a disregard for the fact that you'll make more cash if you're treating people right.
When I find good customer service, you can bet I'll be back there. And yes, there are some places that have done half-decently. Unfortunately they're way too few and far apart.
I have no doubt that if one single company took it upon themselves to provide cracking customer service (let's go out on a totally-won't-happen limb and say someone like Telkom), to outdo everyone else in making sure their customers are valued and cared for, by everyone from the top management to the lowest employee, people would come flocking to their door.
Perhaps one day these other blokes will realize just that...
Yes, still alive
Some of you are getting worried that I may have perished... :-) Nope, still here. The thing is this - the love of my life has been occupying all my time and attention, and any leftovers go to sorting out Olivia the Landy. Screen-time is minimal, the computer gets turned on merely to upload pictures to a Land Rover forum as work progresses, and then it's back to the arms of my dream man and the innards of my dream ride.
So yes, I'm still alive. And kicking (butt). It's just that blogging is taking a very serious back seat for the forseable future!
So yes, I'm still alive. And kicking (butt). It's just that blogging is taking a very serious back seat for the forseable future!
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Time
After yesterday's post, this little sci-fi snippet zoned in nicely on part of what I'm feeling. I may need a resurrection machine.
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