It's not that I don't have anything to say that this blog's gone quiet again. It's that my days are so full that the words don't get to come out on screen.
So here's a quick snippet-blog:
* That first-aid course went very well last week. The kid seems to have enjoyed it - even though it was aimed at adults. Apparently they have a kid's course in the holidays, but he coped very well and passed. First short course completed!
* I'm still facing some huge challenges, one day at a time. They could be overwhelming - but I'm seeing them as strength-building. There's always the temptation to give up and give in, but what would that help? Instead I'm taking a deep breath and powering through them in good faith that, not only will I come out OK on the other side, I'll come out a whole lot better than when I went in. Meantime the dreaming and scheming continues, the working toward something bigger and better.
* Favourite Man was wondering this morning if I'm supposed to be at work tomorrow. It's a non-day, the 29th of Feb - do we get paid for an extra day if we turn up?
* That UK earthquake. I reckon it was a selective act of God. Take a look at the BBC image gallery - only chimneys were damaged! The Allpowerful One must have a thing against ugly rooftop adornments. Or, as my colleague reckons, certain folk have been VERY bad this early in the year - Santa will never make it down those chimneys now. Of course there's always the alternative view....
* The seasons are changing so fast. A few weeks ago I was leaving for work in full sunlight. Now getting up at 6:30 is done in the half-dark. Pretty soon I won't see the sun until I've been at work for a while. The vineyards are turning autumn shades, there's mist and fog around in the mornings and evenings, and those blistering-hot days have been absent for the past week or two. It's going to be soup, curry and cuddle weather very soon.
* ...and along with the seasonal change come the germs. I think I'm coming down with something.
Change of Scene
One thing I've always done in any job I've undertaken is to sort out my working environment to streamline how I accomplish stuff and make where I work comfortable enough to promote productivity. That usually takes the form of putting the desk in the right place, storage logically placed, screen glare vs windows considered etc.
Of course, that was when I still had my own office. Now it's not quite a cube farm, but there are designated areas per person - and they're pretty much set in stone.
Others may go the whole hog on customizing their cubes (shudder...). Me, I'm simply doing the minimalist thing at the moment. Not very personalized at all.
Lately I've been looking at my three allocated office-furniture units. A corner-type bit with a hole for cords that serves as actual desk, a unit with drawers, and another with sliding cuboard doors and shelves. Very modular, very generic for the space, and completely and utterly immobile. Even the aircon keeps everyone at the same temp - which means I'm usually frozen solid.
I hate working with my back to people. I've always preferred facing the oncoming masses. But here there's really no option to turn my space around, and it's actually affecting how well I work. Yet I'd probably be fired if I moved these three little bits of wood! :-) The cleaning lady certainly wouldn't like it, and I suspect half of the modular units on the other side of the little frosted-glass partition in front of me would collapse if I tried.
So I'm stuck with this layout.
The only thing that can change is the wallpaper on my second screen and the view out the window.
Pity....
Of course, that was when I still had my own office. Now it's not quite a cube farm, but there are designated areas per person - and they're pretty much set in stone.
Others may go the whole hog on customizing their cubes (shudder...). Me, I'm simply doing the minimalist thing at the moment. Not very personalized at all.
Lately I've been looking at my three allocated office-furniture units. A corner-type bit with a hole for cords that serves as actual desk, a unit with drawers, and another with sliding cuboard doors and shelves. Very modular, very generic for the space, and completely and utterly immobile. Even the aircon keeps everyone at the same temp - which means I'm usually frozen solid.
I hate working with my back to people. I've always preferred facing the oncoming masses. But here there's really no option to turn my space around, and it's actually affecting how well I work. Yet I'd probably be fired if I moved these three little bits of wood! :-) The cleaning lady certainly wouldn't like it, and I suspect half of the modular units on the other side of the little frosted-glass partition in front of me would collapse if I tried.
So I'm stuck with this layout.
The only thing that can change is the wallpaper on my second screen and the view out the window.
Pity....
Silence
A year ago I lived in a very quiet place. It was well removed from road traffic noise, up against the slopes of a mountain, surrounded by fields and relatively-quiet neighbours (except for the yappy dogs across the road and the stompy neighbours above me).
I had a leafy garden and incredible view. I had a verandah to put my feet up and watch the sunset from. I had birds in the garden, lizards in the lawn, and owls on the fence. I'd spend time after work walking through my natural surroundings on a one-hour exercise drive, and lunch pottering around with soil, flowers and home-grown veggies.
My home environment is very different a year down the line. The back of my house opens onto a busy road servicing a number of security villages. The front looks out on the main trafficway through my own security complex - we're right by the gate, so everything comes past the front door. There's no grass in my yard - it's all bricked up. My view is across to the neighbour's window, with a mere glimpse of the mountain in the distance if you hang out the window a bit. There's constant noise, no soil to dig in, and only a few potted plants to break the expanse of brick and mortar. Although I have a birdbath out the front, I barely ever see a bird anywhere near my house, never mind using it.
And lately I'm missing the quiet. The green, the earth, the changing seasons in my plants and surroundings, the stillness - so complete you can hear a mouse moving in the ferns.
I haven't spent nearly enough time away from civilization lately. Everywhere I go there are people, buildings, cars. Even a trip to the beach to sit a while has vehicles zooming by, people peering at you, lights glaring into the sunset. I'm never without noise surrounding me, whether it's the cars driving past, the hum of computers and aircon and voices in the open office space at work, or TV and electronics making themselves heard at home. It's rare to find absolute quiet - sometimes it's only found around midnight in the cool dark of the lounge - until police cars and ambulances wail nearby.
But I can feel I need it, and soon. I'm losing my inner peace, my creativity, my wonder at the world around me. There's a lot for me to keep track of in my head and in my life as I head toward this year's goals. I can't cram more stuff in there until I empty a part of it regularly - even if it means taking a bit of time away from another job waiting for me. My head has been matching the jabber with its own internal dialogue, drowning out clarity of thought and purpose and direction. Too many voices clamouring for attention. I'm not getting to the really important stuff, at least not deeply and fully and with conviction or purpose.
I don't yet know how to make this an habitual feature - how to find a space, a place, a time for absolute uninterrupted quiet. For immersion in nature and gathering of strength. For stilling the mind and letting go of tension.
I can't go running off to the Himalayas or park myself in the middle of the Namib desert. Sleep takes precedence over a 4am start. Home and work fill up the daylight hours, as does much-needed time with those I love (which in itself is soul-drenching renewal).
But I do know I have to find regular quiet soon so I can move forward successfully in full power and reach those goals looming on the horizon. Even if it's just a few minutes snipped off here and there to breathe and still myself before I move on to the next task.
In fact, today I'm going to be doing just that.
I had a leafy garden and incredible view. I had a verandah to put my feet up and watch the sunset from. I had birds in the garden, lizards in the lawn, and owls on the fence. I'd spend time after work walking through my natural surroundings on a one-hour exercise drive, and lunch pottering around with soil, flowers and home-grown veggies.
My home environment is very different a year down the line. The back of my house opens onto a busy road servicing a number of security villages. The front looks out on the main trafficway through my own security complex - we're right by the gate, so everything comes past the front door. There's no grass in my yard - it's all bricked up. My view is across to the neighbour's window, with a mere glimpse of the mountain in the distance if you hang out the window a bit. There's constant noise, no soil to dig in, and only a few potted plants to break the expanse of brick and mortar. Although I have a birdbath out the front, I barely ever see a bird anywhere near my house, never mind using it.
And lately I'm missing the quiet. The green, the earth, the changing seasons in my plants and surroundings, the stillness - so complete you can hear a mouse moving in the ferns.
I haven't spent nearly enough time away from civilization lately. Everywhere I go there are people, buildings, cars. Even a trip to the beach to sit a while has vehicles zooming by, people peering at you, lights glaring into the sunset. I'm never without noise surrounding me, whether it's the cars driving past, the hum of computers and aircon and voices in the open office space at work, or TV and electronics making themselves heard at home. It's rare to find absolute quiet - sometimes it's only found around midnight in the cool dark of the lounge - until police cars and ambulances wail nearby.
But I can feel I need it, and soon. I'm losing my inner peace, my creativity, my wonder at the world around me. There's a lot for me to keep track of in my head and in my life as I head toward this year's goals. I can't cram more stuff in there until I empty a part of it regularly - even if it means taking a bit of time away from another job waiting for me. My head has been matching the jabber with its own internal dialogue, drowning out clarity of thought and purpose and direction. Too many voices clamouring for attention. I'm not getting to the really important stuff, at least not deeply and fully and with conviction or purpose.
I don't yet know how to make this an habitual feature - how to find a space, a place, a time for absolute uninterrupted quiet. For immersion in nature and gathering of strength. For stilling the mind and letting go of tension.
I can't go running off to the Himalayas or park myself in the middle of the Namib desert. Sleep takes precedence over a 4am start. Home and work fill up the daylight hours, as does much-needed time with those I love (which in itself is soul-drenching renewal).
But I do know I have to find regular quiet soon so I can move forward successfully in full power and reach those goals looming on the horizon. Even if it's just a few minutes snipped off here and there to breathe and still myself before I move on to the next task.
In fact, today I'm going to be doing just that.
Well-Heeled
What is it about a pair of high heels and confidence levels?
Today I'm wearing heels - something I don't usually do. I normally go for comfort - easy to slip on and off flat shoes, so that driving barefoot doesn't require undressing first. I don't fancy falling on uneven surfaces or twising my ankle, so no-heels it usually is.
Except today. Today it's not only heels, but also a relatively low-cut, side-skimming top in a very complimentary blue, and a necklace! (Bit of trivia for you - I don't have pierced ears. Never have, but reconsidering...)
So I'm prancing around in my heels today - striding along on my tiptoes with a definitive click, and that adds a sway to the hips too. It also adds the possibility of blisters as bits are rubbed where the feet don't usually feel them. The price of beauty is pain!
Nevertheless, for some reason the heels are giving me a bit of an attitude. Confidence, slight aggro go-get-it-ness. I'm walking tall - literally - and it's got me walking tall in my head too.
OK, it's not just the heels. It's things coming together bit by bit in the rest of life too. Far from out of the woods, but it's strange how sometimes random events string along in very unexpected ways and lead to big things.
Things me and my heels are definitely ready to tackle today.
Today I'm wearing heels - something I don't usually do. I normally go for comfort - easy to slip on and off flat shoes, so that driving barefoot doesn't require undressing first. I don't fancy falling on uneven surfaces or twising my ankle, so no-heels it usually is.
Except today. Today it's not only heels, but also a relatively low-cut, side-skimming top in a very complimentary blue, and a necklace! (Bit of trivia for you - I don't have pierced ears. Never have, but reconsidering...)
So I'm prancing around in my heels today - striding along on my tiptoes with a definitive click, and that adds a sway to the hips too. It also adds the possibility of blisters as bits are rubbed where the feet don't usually feel them. The price of beauty is pain!
Nevertheless, for some reason the heels are giving me a bit of an attitude. Confidence, slight aggro go-get-it-ness. I'm walking tall - literally - and it's got me walking tall in my head too.
OK, it's not just the heels. It's things coming together bit by bit in the rest of life too. Far from out of the woods, but it's strange how sometimes random events string along in very unexpected ways and lead to big things.
Things me and my heels are definitely ready to tackle today.
To the rescue!
I'm off on a basic first-aid course, work-organized, tomorrow. I've arranged to take my son with me. Home education takes many forms! And life-skills forms a very big part of that.
So tomorrow morning, and for the next 3 days, we're going to be learning how to do the very basics of injury treatment and life-saving. We'll (hopefully) come out the other side with a certificate each and some decent practical knowledge.
Watch this space...
---
On a related note - the "preparing for life" is a big part of what I'm trying to achieve with my son's home-schooling experience. Favourite Man has been giving him bits of man-knowledge along the way - I've been trying to get a few other home-knowledge things in to his head. But we're only just getting started. There's still a lot to accomplish on the learning front, and I'm still in negotiations with two institutions regarding his formal education.
I think slowly his brain is starting to wake up - that he's starting to understand how life around him works and dream of what can be. Some may not see progress, but I do - in the little things he says and does. So I have hope that this will work out, that he will learn all I want him to learn to make a success of his life. And the quest to ensure that happens continues daily.
So tomorrow morning, and for the next 3 days, we're going to be learning how to do the very basics of injury treatment and life-saving. We'll (hopefully) come out the other side with a certificate each and some decent practical knowledge.
Watch this space...
---
On a related note - the "preparing for life" is a big part of what I'm trying to achieve with my son's home-schooling experience. Favourite Man has been giving him bits of man-knowledge along the way - I've been trying to get a few other home-knowledge things in to his head. But we're only just getting started. There's still a lot to accomplish on the learning front, and I'm still in negotiations with two institutions regarding his formal education.
I think slowly his brain is starting to wake up - that he's starting to understand how life around him works and dream of what can be. Some may not see progress, but I do - in the little things he says and does. So I have hope that this will work out, that he will learn all I want him to learn to make a success of his life. And the quest to ensure that happens continues daily.
Getting it Write
My life is all about writing at the moment. My dayjob as a technical writer keeps me spouting forth words professionally all day. I'm still writing for the Land Rover Monthly magazine (3 feature articles have already been printed, with photos!). I'm writing copy for two new and one existing website. I'm blogging a bit more than I have in recent months. I've even considered taking up journalling again - just to make sure the last words I have to say leave my head and hit paper before poor Favourite Man has to be bombarded with them verbally in the middle of the night. :-)
I'm loving it.
When I first started blogging I thought very little of my wordy abilities. I assumed no-one would want to hear what I had to say, that I was a terrible story-teller and would never be able to make a living writing. (I'm still not very good with spoken word - preferring to put pen to paper or keystrokes to screen.)
This in spite of having had two articles (also with photos!) published in a local magazine and being in charge of writing and checking a lot of stuff at my previous job...
Seems I was wrong. The blog has had over 138,000 hits since then (granted, a good few lately are image searches - note to self, up the photoblog freqency :-) ). I've found ways to craft my experiences and thoughts into stories, I've filled pages with text, and I've had them appear in print.
I'm not yet at where I want to be with my writing, but I'm headed in the right direction! Bit by bit I'm aiming for a goal that's sitting very quietly in a corner of my head and saying nothing. I'm building the foundations for a big plan that will allow me to chase some extra-large dreams. It's going to take a lot of hard work and thousands more words, but I'm slowly starting to realize it's a possibility. Even if I sometimes get discouraged comparing myself to others, even if occasionally inspiration is lacking, I have a unique voice, a unique style, unique perspectives, and an ability to put those into words.
That's really all I need.
I'm loving it.
When I first started blogging I thought very little of my wordy abilities. I assumed no-one would want to hear what I had to say, that I was a terrible story-teller and would never be able to make a living writing. (I'm still not very good with spoken word - preferring to put pen to paper or keystrokes to screen.)
This in spite of having had two articles (also with photos!) published in a local magazine and being in charge of writing and checking a lot of stuff at my previous job...
Seems I was wrong. The blog has had over 138,000 hits since then (granted, a good few lately are image searches - note to self, up the photoblog freqency :-) ). I've found ways to craft my experiences and thoughts into stories, I've filled pages with text, and I've had them appear in print.
I'm not yet at where I want to be with my writing, but I'm headed in the right direction! Bit by bit I'm aiming for a goal that's sitting very quietly in a corner of my head and saying nothing. I'm building the foundations for a big plan that will allow me to chase some extra-large dreams. It's going to take a lot of hard work and thousands more words, but I'm slowly starting to realize it's a possibility. Even if I sometimes get discouraged comparing myself to others, even if occasionally inspiration is lacking, I have a unique voice, a unique style, unique perspectives, and an ability to put those into words.
That's really all I need.
Philosophizing
Funny how your brain makes random associations and pops up unexpected thoughts without warning....
Reading this I suddenly realized I haven't spent time pondering possibilities in ages.
A few years ago I was given a pile of "weird and unusual" type books - written by guys like Zecharia Sitchin, David Icke (who is SERIOUSLY smoking something) and others who delve into the mystical, the unknown, the slightly oddball.
Why was I given these? Well a rather learned man and I used to spend ages discussing things like ley lines and conspiracy theories, ancient mysteries and alternative truths. We delved in to beliefs about ghosts, shadow people, the paranormal, cryptozoology, secret societies and energy fields. I loved our chats, they stretched my mind into "what if" and gave me a lot of ponder-fodder. That gentleman was a wealth of knowledge, fascinating to listen to and learn from.
When he retired and they moved to a smaller place, I was given that section of his library - the things other folk would have turned their nose up at as heresy, too strange, even "devil-stuff". But I operate on an open mind, always willing to consider different angles to things that some take as solid fact or dismiss as nonsense.
And it struck me today that I haven't done that in a very long time. I haven't allowed my headspace to wander off into the mysterious for ages.
I've missed doing that. I think it's time to go trawl my "Weird Stuff" bookmarks folder again! :-)
Reading this I suddenly realized I haven't spent time pondering possibilities in ages.
A few years ago I was given a pile of "weird and unusual" type books - written by guys like Zecharia Sitchin, David Icke (who is SERIOUSLY smoking something) and others who delve into the mystical, the unknown, the slightly oddball.
Why was I given these? Well a rather learned man and I used to spend ages discussing things like ley lines and conspiracy theories, ancient mysteries and alternative truths. We delved in to beliefs about ghosts, shadow people, the paranormal, cryptozoology, secret societies and energy fields. I loved our chats, they stretched my mind into "what if" and gave me a lot of ponder-fodder. That gentleman was a wealth of knowledge, fascinating to listen to and learn from.
When he retired and they moved to a smaller place, I was given that section of his library - the things other folk would have turned their nose up at as heresy, too strange, even "devil-stuff". But I operate on an open mind, always willing to consider different angles to things that some take as solid fact or dismiss as nonsense.
And it struck me today that I haven't done that in a very long time. I haven't allowed my headspace to wander off into the mysterious for ages.
I've missed doing that. I think it's time to go trawl my "Weird Stuff" bookmarks folder again! :-)
10 Steps to Unproductivity
There are many motivational blogs and websites out there. A good few of them are all about paring down tasks, increasing productivity, Getting Things Done and powering through life.
Don't you think it's time for the opposite kind of advice? After all - way too many folk are stressed out by the endless push to be more, do more, work harder and smarter. Sometimes you need to veg and be completely unproductive for your own sanity!
So here's my guide to procrastination, to anti-motivation and to doing not much of anything at all:
1. The world is not going to end. All too often we push ourselves beyond our limits, thinking everything will collapse if we don't perform this task or push on to the next one. Well here's a newsflash. Unless you're the bloke that prevents a maniac from Pressing The Big Red Button and eliminating us all as a full time job, the world will still be here tomorrow. Take a chill-pill. Your mental absence from the collective conciousness will not be noticed for a day - you're really not that important.
2. This too shall pass. Got that sudden urge to work? Don't. Just like you can get a second wind if you push yourself hard enough, you can get rid of that feeling that you must be doing something. Imagine you're a plant - all you have to do is sit there and exchange one life-giving gas for another. In your case that's oxygen in, carbon monoxide out. No other gasses please, at least not in public.
3. Go forth, young man. Get out of your usual productive environment. Away from the computer screen, the things standing around screaming for attention, the day-to-day stuff that stares you in the face. Go to that coffee shop you've been eyeing, go sit in a park, go to the library (when last did you do that?!), go anywhere - just get a change of scene and a bit of distraction.
4. Clean your nest. OK, this may seem like non-procrastination and hard work, but remember those school days when you were supposed to be studying? When suddenly your room really needed a clean instead? When ANYTHING was better than hitting the books? Do it - organize, chuck out, scrub down, clean up. But only if you're not supposed to be doing it.
5. Zombie mode. It's been said that a 45 minute power nap will revitalize you and get you back on the job with new energy. But why take only 45 minutes when you can top up your tank completely? Doze in a hammock while the summer cicadas zing around you. Nap on the couch with 5-day cricket as a background noise (or the F1...). Close the curtains, close the door, and snooze in a darkened cave. I know you can never really catch up on missed sleep - but hey, sometimes you just need to rest until you're done.
6. Munchies. Remember the slow food movement? Now think of long warm-day lunches at a trestle table set up under the trees with everyone who's important to you. Attractive thought, right? It may not be summer where you are, but it's not often you get to take time over some really good food - making it, eating it, actually enjoying it. Haul out the recipe book and try something new. Grab a foodie mag and find a picture that appeals to you, then make it. Don't just wolf down what your body requires to survive - craft a meal and savour it. Or simply bake some cookies from scratch (yes, using flour, sugar, eggs, butter and not a ready-made mix - come on, you can do it!) if you're a kitchen-phobe.
7. Play date. Warning - if you're going to sit in a kid's playground all day and look like a stalker, you'll get arrested. But when last did you just play? Chuck in the perception that you're too old to make mud pies and go take your 4x4 through a puddle (without it being a grown-up outing). Or take your feet through one if it's raining - go barefoot and forget the umbrella, it's just water. Paint something other than the house. Skip stones on a lake - if you still remember how. Go surfing, go diving, go tourist and see your area in a new light. Go to the circus, go to a fun park and do the rides. Steal your kid's Lego and build stuff or hit the hobby shop and treat yourself to a Mecano set. Turn the living room into a race course for those matchbox cars you still have from when you were a kid - or into a maze of dominoes. Dig out the Scrabble, a yoyo, anything! Forget being a serious adult and just play.
8. NOW. You know that stuff that's on your do-one-day list? There's no time like the present. You've chucked in the daily grind for a bit, so now there's plenty of time to get to it. No more excuses - tick at least one thing off before you even consider taking up your routine again.
9. Fart around. Nope, not the gas kind - the pottering kind. Do random stuff without any clear plan. Do whatever catches your eye, without a time limit.
10. Empty-headed. Spend a day doing mindless activities. Watch daytime TV (how more mindless can one get!). Go to the movies - let other people do your thinking for you. Go zen and meditate or attend a yoga class. Just don't think. Believe me, this one takes practice! But being blonde I have a headstart... ;-)
There you go - 10 steps to doing very little today. How about it? Up for the challenge?
Don't you think it's time for the opposite kind of advice? After all - way too many folk are stressed out by the endless push to be more, do more, work harder and smarter. Sometimes you need to veg and be completely unproductive for your own sanity!
So here's my guide to procrastination, to anti-motivation and to doing not much of anything at all:
1. The world is not going to end. All too often we push ourselves beyond our limits, thinking everything will collapse if we don't perform this task or push on to the next one. Well here's a newsflash. Unless you're the bloke that prevents a maniac from Pressing The Big Red Button and eliminating us all as a full time job, the world will still be here tomorrow. Take a chill-pill. Your mental absence from the collective conciousness will not be noticed for a day - you're really not that important.
2. This too shall pass. Got that sudden urge to work? Don't. Just like you can get a second wind if you push yourself hard enough, you can get rid of that feeling that you must be doing something. Imagine you're a plant - all you have to do is sit there and exchange one life-giving gas for another. In your case that's oxygen in, carbon monoxide out. No other gasses please, at least not in public.
3. Go forth, young man. Get out of your usual productive environment. Away from the computer screen, the things standing around screaming for attention, the day-to-day stuff that stares you in the face. Go to that coffee shop you've been eyeing, go sit in a park, go to the library (when last did you do that?!), go anywhere - just get a change of scene and a bit of distraction.
4. Clean your nest. OK, this may seem like non-procrastination and hard work, but remember those school days when you were supposed to be studying? When suddenly your room really needed a clean instead? When ANYTHING was better than hitting the books? Do it - organize, chuck out, scrub down, clean up. But only if you're not supposed to be doing it.
5. Zombie mode. It's been said that a 45 minute power nap will revitalize you and get you back on the job with new energy. But why take only 45 minutes when you can top up your tank completely? Doze in a hammock while the summer cicadas zing around you. Nap on the couch with 5-day cricket as a background noise (or the F1...). Close the curtains, close the door, and snooze in a darkened cave. I know you can never really catch up on missed sleep - but hey, sometimes you just need to rest until you're done.
6. Munchies. Remember the slow food movement? Now think of long warm-day lunches at a trestle table set up under the trees with everyone who's important to you. Attractive thought, right? It may not be summer where you are, but it's not often you get to take time over some really good food - making it, eating it, actually enjoying it. Haul out the recipe book and try something new. Grab a foodie mag and find a picture that appeals to you, then make it. Don't just wolf down what your body requires to survive - craft a meal and savour it. Or simply bake some cookies from scratch (yes, using flour, sugar, eggs, butter and not a ready-made mix - come on, you can do it!) if you're a kitchen-phobe.
7. Play date. Warning - if you're going to sit in a kid's playground all day and look like a stalker, you'll get arrested. But when last did you just play? Chuck in the perception that you're too old to make mud pies and go take your 4x4 through a puddle (without it being a grown-up outing). Or take your feet through one if it's raining - go barefoot and forget the umbrella, it's just water. Paint something other than the house. Skip stones on a lake - if you still remember how. Go surfing, go diving, go tourist and see your area in a new light. Go to the circus, go to a fun park and do the rides. Steal your kid's Lego and build stuff or hit the hobby shop and treat yourself to a Mecano set. Turn the living room into a race course for those matchbox cars you still have from when you were a kid - or into a maze of dominoes. Dig out the Scrabble, a yoyo, anything! Forget being a serious adult and just play.
8. NOW. You know that stuff that's on your do-one-day list? There's no time like the present. You've chucked in the daily grind for a bit, so now there's plenty of time to get to it. No more excuses - tick at least one thing off before you even consider taking up your routine again.
9. Fart around. Nope, not the gas kind - the pottering kind. Do random stuff without any clear plan. Do whatever catches your eye, without a time limit.
10. Empty-headed. Spend a day doing mindless activities. Watch daytime TV (how more mindless can one get!). Go to the movies - let other people do your thinking for you. Go zen and meditate or attend a yoga class. Just don't think. Believe me, this one takes practice! But being blonde I have a headstart... ;-)
There you go - 10 steps to doing very little today. How about it? Up for the challenge?
Public Nudity
Last week my son took a trip with Favourite Man to Cape Town. Being a long-road day, the inevitable happened: at some point he really needed to go pee - and there were no public loos in sight.
Well boys will be boys - and men, men - and they're equipped to take a leak anywhere they jolly well want to. Which is why you see them next to the road with the car door open, or find pee-streaks on the side of national monuments (see weekend road-trip to Rhodes Memorial...).
Favourite Man is advanced enough in years to have experience in public relief without shame, but the same can't be said for the kid. He took a long walk to a very secluded spot before he even considered hauling out the necessary.
I guess I should be thankful he has a sense of modesty, but I have no clue how he's going to handle the Public Urinal! Especially if he's next to a bloke who checks him out while peeing.
But you know what - I'm sorta just as bad.
Us chicks don't pee standing next to each other, but there seems to be coyness in the stalls too. If you're dumping a load and someone walks in to use the next door stall, do you stop mid-dump and wait for either noise or their exit to conceal your act? Do you fart if you know you're not alone in the restrooms? And if you happen to let one rip by accident - do you wait until everyone else clears out so you can't be identified as the culprit?
Oops - I do. Seems this public timidity runs in the family...!
Well boys will be boys - and men, men - and they're equipped to take a leak anywhere they jolly well want to. Which is why you see them next to the road with the car door open, or find pee-streaks on the side of national monuments (see weekend road-trip to Rhodes Memorial...).
Favourite Man is advanced enough in years to have experience in public relief without shame, but the same can't be said for the kid. He took a long walk to a very secluded spot before he even considered hauling out the necessary.
I guess I should be thankful he has a sense of modesty, but I have no clue how he's going to handle the Public Urinal! Especially if he's next to a bloke who checks him out while peeing.
But you know what - I'm sorta just as bad.
Us chicks don't pee standing next to each other, but there seems to be coyness in the stalls too. If you're dumping a load and someone walks in to use the next door stall, do you stop mid-dump and wait for either noise or their exit to conceal your act? Do you fart if you know you're not alone in the restrooms? And if you happen to let one rip by accident - do you wait until everyone else clears out so you can't be identified as the culprit?
Oops - I do. Seems this public timidity runs in the family...!
Year of the Rat
Apparently it's the Year of the Rat - and that's supposed to mean it's a monetary succes year. All I can say is - I sure hope so.
At the moment there's so much up in the air financially. Demands have been made on limited resources that result in some very creative manipulation of funds. Recently I've felt like I'm living on a knife-edge, sometimes having literally hours between finding funds and covering expenses. All the budgeting in the world hasn't helped when it comes to some fires flaring up and needing stomping out. It's had me super-stressed, sometimes hopeless, other times full of courage as I realize I've beat another challenge down. Trusting that the next one will stay away for at least the space of a deep breath.
I'd much rather be spending time and energy on the things that matter than on scrambling for cash, but there are times when that's simply not an option. However, I am getting better at handling the pressure, at dealing with taking another deep breath and forging forward. Not always, but mostly.
I'm not comfortable with where I'm operating from right now with the swords over my head and the boomerang cash outflow demands - they just keep coming. Yes - a windfall would be nice, as would unlimited funds magically appearing. But I know it's not going to happen. Instead I've been using the "sufficiently pissed off" mode - directing the this-is-enough inner fuming into energy to drive me forward and make things work. Not allowing myself to be paralyzed by fear or incapacited by helplessness.
I've been building up a lot of background stuff to the point that it can take off (well, most of it...), putting in effort on maintaining forward movement even though there aren't immediate results. Setting myself up for future success in little ways that most folk wouldn't even notice, but which are slowly starting to snowball into more than a single snowflake. Learning not to lie down timidly and take it, but to stand up, go for what I want and demand results.
And you know what? The little triumphs are giving me more than enough mental momentum to keep at it, to aim for success, to simplify and sort out the issues, to take control with a firm hand - and perhaps, in this Year of the Rat, to finally come out on top.
At the moment there's so much up in the air financially. Demands have been made on limited resources that result in some very creative manipulation of funds. Recently I've felt like I'm living on a knife-edge, sometimes having literally hours between finding funds and covering expenses. All the budgeting in the world hasn't helped when it comes to some fires flaring up and needing stomping out. It's had me super-stressed, sometimes hopeless, other times full of courage as I realize I've beat another challenge down. Trusting that the next one will stay away for at least the space of a deep breath.
I'd much rather be spending time and energy on the things that matter than on scrambling for cash, but there are times when that's simply not an option. However, I am getting better at handling the pressure, at dealing with taking another deep breath and forging forward. Not always, but mostly.
I'm not comfortable with where I'm operating from right now with the swords over my head and the boomerang cash outflow demands - they just keep coming. Yes - a windfall would be nice, as would unlimited funds magically appearing. But I know it's not going to happen. Instead I've been using the "sufficiently pissed off" mode - directing the this-is-enough inner fuming into energy to drive me forward and make things work. Not allowing myself to be paralyzed by fear or incapacited by helplessness.
I've been building up a lot of background stuff to the point that it can take off (well, most of it...), putting in effort on maintaining forward movement even though there aren't immediate results. Setting myself up for future success in little ways that most folk wouldn't even notice, but which are slowly starting to snowball into more than a single snowflake. Learning not to lie down timidly and take it, but to stand up, go for what I want and demand results.
And you know what? The little triumphs are giving me more than enough mental momentum to keep at it, to aim for success, to simplify and sort out the issues, to take control with a firm hand - and perhaps, in this Year of the Rat, to finally come out on top.
In the driver's seat
Favourite Man and I got chatting about the kid yesterday - and in particular his life-skills and social coping mechanisms (most of which leave much to be desired, but are being tackled bit by bit). Well, FMan decided it was time for a bit of a learning curve.
Earlier in the day he'd helped the boy get his online banking access sorted out - after the usual struggle with numbskull institutions. The kid had sorted his passwords and how to access his account, we'd both checked that transfers of cash worked, and that was the first big educational experience of the day done.
Next though was an entirely different challenge.
FMan's current vehicle is a Land Rover Discovery 2 TD5 Automatic. Very comfy truck, easy to drive, goes smoothly in spite of a few engine niggles. Well, we loaded up the kid and headed off to a new complex-in-progress nearby. They've put in the roads, but not much else. We've often gone there for some peace, quiet and sweeping views of sunsets. Yesterday, however, was for something new.
With some serious coaxing and downright ordering, we stuck the kid in the front seat. In the DRIVER'S seat. Adjusted the sunshades so he couldn't use the "sun's in my eyes" excuse, stuck my sunglasses on his face, and FMan proceded to educate him in the uses of various pedals and levers required to get the truck to move in any direction.
He will be getting his license on a manual transmission, but auotmatic is a good choice for learning how pedal and steering wheel react to pressure/movement, so we battled the initial resistance and grumpy face at having to do something new, and off he went. Slowly. FMan had plotted a route - straight first, then a left turn down a steep hill, around the corner at the bottom and up another steep hill, turning right to get back to where we'd started, then turning the truck around to face in the original direction. No traffic to worry about, no-one else around.
And the kid did it! He took the first two turns a little sharply, but he managed to keep going in a good line, hit the accelerator sufficiently to make it back up the hill, and didn't give us whiplash with brake manipulation.
Yes, he's only 14 (turns 15 in June) - but hey, wouldn't you want to learn to drive earlier rather than later? Wouldn't you rather hit your driver's test knowing what you're doing than fresh out of driving school and still sweaty-palmed?
So it's started - the driving lessons are underway. A lot more practice will happen on the automatic while we ponder where to get a small, reliable manual for him to fiddle with. And then, if he's really good, it's on to Olivia! :-)
Earlier in the day he'd helped the boy get his online banking access sorted out - after the usual struggle with numbskull institutions. The kid had sorted his passwords and how to access his account, we'd both checked that transfers of cash worked, and that was the first big educational experience of the day done.
Next though was an entirely different challenge.
FMan's current vehicle is a Land Rover Discovery 2 TD5 Automatic. Very comfy truck, easy to drive, goes smoothly in spite of a few engine niggles. Well, we loaded up the kid and headed off to a new complex-in-progress nearby. They've put in the roads, but not much else. We've often gone there for some peace, quiet and sweeping views of sunsets. Yesterday, however, was for something new.
With some serious coaxing and downright ordering, we stuck the kid in the front seat. In the DRIVER'S seat. Adjusted the sunshades so he couldn't use the "sun's in my eyes" excuse, stuck my sunglasses on his face, and FMan proceded to educate him in the uses of various pedals and levers required to get the truck to move in any direction.He will be getting his license on a manual transmission, but auotmatic is a good choice for learning how pedal and steering wheel react to pressure/movement, so we battled the initial resistance and grumpy face at having to do something new, and off he went. Slowly. FMan had plotted a route - straight first, then a left turn down a steep hill, around the corner at the bottom and up another steep hill, turning right to get back to where we'd started, then turning the truck around to face in the original direction. No traffic to worry about, no-one else around.
And the kid did it! He took the first two turns a little sharply, but he managed to keep going in a good line, hit the accelerator sufficiently to make it back up the hill, and didn't give us whiplash with brake manipulation.
Yes, he's only 14 (turns 15 in June) - but hey, wouldn't you want to learn to drive earlier rather than later? Wouldn't you rather hit your driver's test knowing what you're doing than fresh out of driving school and still sweaty-palmed?
So it's started - the driving lessons are underway. A lot more practice will happen on the automatic while we ponder where to get a small, reliable manual for him to fiddle with. And then, if he's really good, it's on to Olivia! :-)
Gotta blog this!
You'll appreciate it muchly if you're SAfrican!
Stolen off the ChumpStyle blog.
::update::
Holy crap... there's more!
Stolen off the ChumpStyle blog.
::update::
Holy crap... there's more!
Men prefer brunettes
The days of the blonde bombeshell are over - I'm convinced of it.
Watch any beauty pageant, hit the top-anything list of whatever gorgeous women are being examined, and you'll find it populated by brunettes. Blondes have been relegated to the seedier side of town. It's the age of the Asian, the Brazilian, the Indian, the dark-haired amber-skinned lovely.
I'll admit it - there's something about brunettes that lends the imagination toward the sensual, the smouldering, particularly if I use the "man" part of my brain. Blondes - not so much.
But am I going brunette? Well...
Remember my redhead days? No matter what the general public consensus is, I'm not going back there. Been there, done that, reverted to my usual mostly-blonde. And blonde it will have to stay. At least until the greys completely take over!
Will leave the eye-candy-generation to the brunettes - after all, while the men are ogling them, I get to ogle the men unnoticed!!! :-)
Watch any beauty pageant, hit the top-anything list of whatever gorgeous women are being examined, and you'll find it populated by brunettes. Blondes have been relegated to the seedier side of town. It's the age of the Asian, the Brazilian, the Indian, the dark-haired amber-skinned lovely.
I'll admit it - there's something about brunettes that lends the imagination toward the sensual, the smouldering, particularly if I use the "man" part of my brain. Blondes - not so much.
But am I going brunette? Well...
Remember my redhead days? No matter what the general public consensus is, I'm not going back there. Been there, done that, reverted to my usual mostly-blonde. And blonde it will have to stay. At least until the greys completely take over!
Will leave the eye-candy-generation to the brunettes - after all, while the men are ogling them, I get to ogle the men unnoticed!!! :-)
Spidey
I had a good giggle last night.
Sometime after supper my son was walking out of the kitchen toward the lounge when he spotted a rather small but very bodily-substantial spider on the floor. Eeking and fear ensued, followed shortly by Favourite Man putting his feet up on the sofa. Yup, I have two males in the house that are afraid of spiders.
I'm not much better, but there was a can of Doom near my son's location, which he fetched and proceded to aim at the spider. From sufficient distance that it wasn't terribly effective! In fact it made things worse - the spider suddenly started to shed a multitude of little spiders as it scurried... Of course that led to more eeking and jumping around, but the poor little beast and its offspring were finally Doomed by the front door. And left for me to sweep up! :-)
Thereafter the boy refused to walk past the dead spider, and instead climbed over the kitchen counter to get where he needed to go.
I'd hate to see the male reaction in my household should something bigger than a 5c piece appear.
But on a side-note, the reason my son was downstairs at all is that his Internet access disappeared on Friday thanks to "non-compliance" issues. In the few days since he's been offline he's completely changed. He's no longer sullen, rude, reclusive. He doesn't talk back in a nasty manner. He participates in the household and does what is asked of him, without moaning. The turn-around has been impressive. And not just a ploy to regain internet access either, or at least I don't think so. He's just a whole lot more pleasant when not glued to his virtual worlds.
Which has me pondering if he's ever going to have Internet access ever again.. :-)
Sometime after supper my son was walking out of the kitchen toward the lounge when he spotted a rather small but very bodily-substantial spider on the floor. Eeking and fear ensued, followed shortly by Favourite Man putting his feet up on the sofa. Yup, I have two males in the house that are afraid of spiders.
I'm not much better, but there was a can of Doom near my son's location, which he fetched and proceded to aim at the spider. From sufficient distance that it wasn't terribly effective! In fact it made things worse - the spider suddenly started to shed a multitude of little spiders as it scurried... Of course that led to more eeking and jumping around, but the poor little beast and its offspring were finally Doomed by the front door. And left for me to sweep up! :-)
Thereafter the boy refused to walk past the dead spider, and instead climbed over the kitchen counter to get where he needed to go.
I'd hate to see the male reaction in my household should something bigger than a 5c piece appear.
But on a side-note, the reason my son was downstairs at all is that his Internet access disappeared on Friday thanks to "non-compliance" issues. In the few days since he's been offline he's completely changed. He's no longer sullen, rude, reclusive. He doesn't talk back in a nasty manner. He participates in the household and does what is asked of him, without moaning. The turn-around has been impressive. And not just a ploy to regain internet access either, or at least I don't think so. He's just a whole lot more pleasant when not glued to his virtual worlds.
Which has me pondering if he's ever going to have Internet access ever again.. :-)
Shock and Horror
Listening to the radio on the way in (yup, driving the fancy Landy today - the other one provides engine noise instead of airwaves), the same-old same-old subject is the energy crisis in SAafrica. With good reason too. This is no small thing, this running out of electricity business.
So far we've had:
* Mines close down for a week. Losing 6 million a day in profit...
* Local fuel manufacturer decide to stop making fuel until further notice. Thanks to Friday night's power failure in Cape Town, which plunged the entire city into darkness for a good few hours (but hey, we saw the stars! :-) ). Caused, apparently, by damage to the backup system when a veld fire dropped by. Anyhoo the fuel place takes a week to restart after a blackout, and they aren't willing to take any more chances.
* Oh, and fuel prices went up yesterday - but the rush on filling stations was dampened by not being able to find one with power to pump the stuff within a 40km radius.
* Sudden unexplained water cuts in various suburbs. And apparently there's water contamination issues up north too.
* Our venerable Minister of Parliament urging us to go to bed early as a solution to the evening darkness problem. See increase in births a few months hence - if one can find a hospital with power to deliver them.
* Supermarkets complaining they're losing tons of fresh goods every time the lights go out, generators notwithstanding.
* Locals complaining their electric and electronic goods are being damaged beyond repair - and having to shoulder the costs.
* Small business complaining that home-run businesses are going to be badly affected by the new power quotas.
* Big business complaining about loss of revenue.
* SPCA complaining that the animals are suffering too.
* The only ones not complaining are cable thieves and burglars - no power, no risk!
etc....
So it's with shock and horror that I listened to the rapidly-heading-downward spiral of problems - as I battled the latest one caused by the traffic lights not glowing. (Probably would have been more shocked if there were power available of course)
It's very very easy to be paralysed by fear and helplessness in the face of big-corporation actions. We are, after all, the little people - those who rely on the big guys for our water, our electricity, our fuel, our daily bread (let's not go there shall we - price-fixing allegations and associated price hikes by the bread guys and the milk guys only add to the burden!). It's easy to be so overwhelmed by a sense of hopelessness that you start packing for Perth (or whever folk are fleeing to these days).
And yet...
I'm the eternal optimist - much to Favourite Man's chagrin at times. :-) I believe in finding the positive through seemingly insurmountable issues. I believe in not letting them drown you, but using them as an opportunity to create something better.
And I believe that this seemingly endless crisis is a call to action.
South African infrastructure has been crumbling for years. Roads, power stations, inherited buildings have gone unmaintained by new management. It's a common occurance when a country changes political hands - the new blokes don't necessarily think they should do preventative work until it's way too late. They've moved in to an established set-up that looks just fine - for now.
We've seen this one coming. We've had hints and rumblings of problems on the horizon, we've hit the potholes in the road and watched the fuel price climb. And all too often we've shrugged and said "that's life". But now it's starting to get to the stage where we cannot ignore it and hope someone sorts it out anymore. Where it's time for creative thinking, innovation and plans to kick in. I've said it before in one of my other lengthy ramblings - this is the time for the inventors to shine.
So this morning, as I sat listening to the bad news in traffic, I got thinking. What can I do to ensure my life isn't over-run by the Big Business problems? How can I make certain my efforts at making a living aren't undercut by things I can't control?
There's electricity needed for a project or two - I need to work out how much will be used and see if there's a way to ensure a self-generated or backup continuous supply. We've got wind, we've got sun, and there's always a generator if necessary. Off-grid is looking more attractive daily. As are other solutions.
Fuel shortage affecting the commute? - well, it's a good excuse to get that Atom.. :-) Or work from home.
Bread prices going up? Hey - I can bake (provided my stove is eventually replaced - it's been 3 weeks and we're still waiting for it to happen).
Milk prices? Hmmm... no grass outside to keep a cow on - but I know there are local dairies that supply on a bring-your-own-container basis at a reduced price. May not be as homogonized & processed as the one the big guys do, but it's milk - and it's likely to be better for me than the mass produced stuff anyway.
I'm rethinking container gardening to provide a few fresh veggies - I've done loads of research on square-foot gardening in the past, and merely have to put it into action. No actual yard-dirt required - a good thing, as ours is paved front and back. Could even put in a patch of lawn with the SFG method!
There's much to be said about returning to a simpler, more self-sufficient way of life - not reliant on the Powers That Be....
OK, I'm not going to give away all my secrets. There's still a lot rattling around in my head, plans and research and (energy-saving) light-bulb moments hitting randomly.
But I reckon we'll survive this one. Africa isn't for sissies, and there's an inbred make-a-plan that's starting to poke it's head out. Which, to tell the truth, is pretty cool indeed.
So far we've had:
* Mines close down for a week. Losing 6 million a day in profit...
* Local fuel manufacturer decide to stop making fuel until further notice. Thanks to Friday night's power failure in Cape Town, which plunged the entire city into darkness for a good few hours (but hey, we saw the stars! :-) ). Caused, apparently, by damage to the backup system when a veld fire dropped by. Anyhoo the fuel place takes a week to restart after a blackout, and they aren't willing to take any more chances.
* Oh, and fuel prices went up yesterday - but the rush on filling stations was dampened by not being able to find one with power to pump the stuff within a 40km radius.
* Sudden unexplained water cuts in various suburbs. And apparently there's water contamination issues up north too.
* Our venerable Minister of Parliament urging us to go to bed early as a solution to the evening darkness problem. See increase in births a few months hence - if one can find a hospital with power to deliver them.
* Supermarkets complaining they're losing tons of fresh goods every time the lights go out, generators notwithstanding.
* Locals complaining their electric and electronic goods are being damaged beyond repair - and having to shoulder the costs.
* Small business complaining that home-run businesses are going to be badly affected by the new power quotas.
* Big business complaining about loss of revenue.
* SPCA complaining that the animals are suffering too.
* The only ones not complaining are cable thieves and burglars - no power, no risk!
etc....
So it's with shock and horror that I listened to the rapidly-heading-downward spiral of problems - as I battled the latest one caused by the traffic lights not glowing. (Probably would have been more shocked if there were power available of course)
It's very very easy to be paralysed by fear and helplessness in the face of big-corporation actions. We are, after all, the little people - those who rely on the big guys for our water, our electricity, our fuel, our daily bread (let's not go there shall we - price-fixing allegations and associated price hikes by the bread guys and the milk guys only add to the burden!). It's easy to be so overwhelmed by a sense of hopelessness that you start packing for Perth (or whever folk are fleeing to these days).
And yet...
I'm the eternal optimist - much to Favourite Man's chagrin at times. :-) I believe in finding the positive through seemingly insurmountable issues. I believe in not letting them drown you, but using them as an opportunity to create something better.
And I believe that this seemingly endless crisis is a call to action.
South African infrastructure has been crumbling for years. Roads, power stations, inherited buildings have gone unmaintained by new management. It's a common occurance when a country changes political hands - the new blokes don't necessarily think they should do preventative work until it's way too late. They've moved in to an established set-up that looks just fine - for now.
We've seen this one coming. We've had hints and rumblings of problems on the horizon, we've hit the potholes in the road and watched the fuel price climb. And all too often we've shrugged and said "that's life". But now it's starting to get to the stage where we cannot ignore it and hope someone sorts it out anymore. Where it's time for creative thinking, innovation and plans to kick in. I've said it before in one of my other lengthy ramblings - this is the time for the inventors to shine.
So this morning, as I sat listening to the bad news in traffic, I got thinking. What can I do to ensure my life isn't over-run by the Big Business problems? How can I make certain my efforts at making a living aren't undercut by things I can't control?
There's electricity needed for a project or two - I need to work out how much will be used and see if there's a way to ensure a self-generated or backup continuous supply. We've got wind, we've got sun, and there's always a generator if necessary. Off-grid is looking more attractive daily. As are other solutions.
Fuel shortage affecting the commute? - well, it's a good excuse to get that Atom.. :-) Or work from home.
Bread prices going up? Hey - I can bake (provided my stove is eventually replaced - it's been 3 weeks and we're still waiting for it to happen).
Milk prices? Hmmm... no grass outside to keep a cow on - but I know there are local dairies that supply on a bring-your-own-container basis at a reduced price. May not be as homogonized & processed as the one the big guys do, but it's milk - and it's likely to be better for me than the mass produced stuff anyway.
I'm rethinking container gardening to provide a few fresh veggies - I've done loads of research on square-foot gardening in the past, and merely have to put it into action. No actual yard-dirt required - a good thing, as ours is paved front and back. Could even put in a patch of lawn with the SFG method!
There's much to be said about returning to a simpler, more self-sufficient way of life - not reliant on the Powers That Be....
OK, I'm not going to give away all my secrets. There's still a lot rattling around in my head, plans and research and (energy-saving) light-bulb moments hitting randomly.
But I reckon we'll survive this one. Africa isn't for sissies, and there's an inbred make-a-plan that's starting to poke it's head out. Which, to tell the truth, is pretty cool indeed.
Forward
I've been taking a good hard look at some things today and it's time to make a couple of changes. Again.
Last night I felt like I was dragging the world around on my shoulders - and perhaps I was, mentally. But there are things that deserve to be worried about, and there are those that all the worrying in the world won't solve. The latter only manage to drain your energy and drag you down. But life is too short to be dragged down or drained. It is meant to be lived with vigour and "lewenslus", joy and appreciation of every precious moment.
Too much worry has meant I miss out on some very special moments - on time spent with Favourite Man and my son, on a relishing of good things and counting my blessings.
It's not to say that I can blissfully skip through life and ignore things that only I can sort out, things that need to be tackled head-on and fixed, but it does mean that I should not let them rule my life nor take control of me.
Over the past few months I've adjusted some of my habits and ways of thinking to grow and change for the better. I've settled in more deeply to life, to love, to hope and joy. But at the same time I've found myself facing challenges that want to take that away - or at least sap the enjoyment of them until they're mere reflections of happiness. No more. I cannot allow it. Challenges with parenting my son, challenges with finances, challenges with my lack of knowledge or understanding when it comes to doing certain things, challenges with spreading myself across multiple areas of responsibility - those cannot get the upper hand. Instead I'll revel in the constants - the fact that I am loved (which amazes me daily), the beauty of where I live (which I don't appreciate enough), the thrill of driving the coolest Land Rover ever (with some seriously amazing custom-made bits), the positive challenge of working toward an incredible future (and becoming so much more than I was).
Along the way there are tweaks of attitude, tweaks of lifestyle, tweaks of habit that need to happen. These are what I'm pondering today.
I'm a firm believer in preventative maintenance. Especially when it comes to how I cope. What I choose to do today (what I eat, drink, how I move, how I rest) will affect what I can accomplish tomorrow. If I let myself get dehydrated or eat the wrong foods, I'll feel it later - whether it's hours or days. Today I've ditched one habit and am feeling better for it. I'm stopping myself every time I start doing another that's stress-triggered. 21 days they say, to change a habit...
I'll be heading home today with eyes re-opened to my many blessings, and with determination to do what I can for those I love to make their lives wonderful. No more living in my head while I could be enjoying their company.
And the next time I see that awesome sunrise over the mountains while commuting? I'm stopping - camera in hand. There may not be a "next time".
There are many other little bits getting a re-look today. But I'd rather be doing them than blogging them. :-)
Here's to life. Lived.
Last night I felt like I was dragging the world around on my shoulders - and perhaps I was, mentally. But there are things that deserve to be worried about, and there are those that all the worrying in the world won't solve. The latter only manage to drain your energy and drag you down. But life is too short to be dragged down or drained. It is meant to be lived with vigour and "lewenslus", joy and appreciation of every precious moment.
Too much worry has meant I miss out on some very special moments - on time spent with Favourite Man and my son, on a relishing of good things and counting my blessings.
It's not to say that I can blissfully skip through life and ignore things that only I can sort out, things that need to be tackled head-on and fixed, but it does mean that I should not let them rule my life nor take control of me.
Over the past few months I've adjusted some of my habits and ways of thinking to grow and change for the better. I've settled in more deeply to life, to love, to hope and joy. But at the same time I've found myself facing challenges that want to take that away - or at least sap the enjoyment of them until they're mere reflections of happiness. No more. I cannot allow it. Challenges with parenting my son, challenges with finances, challenges with my lack of knowledge or understanding when it comes to doing certain things, challenges with spreading myself across multiple areas of responsibility - those cannot get the upper hand. Instead I'll revel in the constants - the fact that I am loved (which amazes me daily), the beauty of where I live (which I don't appreciate enough), the thrill of driving the coolest Land Rover ever (with some seriously amazing custom-made bits), the positive challenge of working toward an incredible future (and becoming so much more than I was).
Along the way there are tweaks of attitude, tweaks of lifestyle, tweaks of habit that need to happen. These are what I'm pondering today.
I'm a firm believer in preventative maintenance. Especially when it comes to how I cope. What I choose to do today (what I eat, drink, how I move, how I rest) will affect what I can accomplish tomorrow. If I let myself get dehydrated or eat the wrong foods, I'll feel it later - whether it's hours or days. Today I've ditched one habit and am feeling better for it. I'm stopping myself every time I start doing another that's stress-triggered. 21 days they say, to change a habit...
I'll be heading home today with eyes re-opened to my many blessings, and with determination to do what I can for those I love to make their lives wonderful. No more living in my head while I could be enjoying their company.
And the next time I see that awesome sunrise over the mountains while commuting? I'm stopping - camera in hand. There may not be a "next time".
There are many other little bits getting a re-look today. But I'd rather be doing them than blogging them. :-)
Here's to life. Lived.
1 year
A year ago I met Favourite Man. I can't believe it's only been a year - it feels like I've known him forever, like he's always been a part of me. Who would have thought that a year down the line there could be so much happiness, so much love. Who would have thought that my heart would find its home. I don't say much about this here, because it's so deep and so private. But just for today I'll shout it from the rooftops - he is my world.
Stressorexia
You know what? I can relate to this...
Catering for the masses? I don't eat. Fixing the Landy? No time to eat - not hungry. Working on a website? No food thanks. Have done without lunch at work on a good few occasions without really noticing.
The thing is that I don't get hungry easily, especially not while busy. So while everyone I'm supposed to be cooking for is starving, I've forgotten the fact that food is required!
But hey - enough forgetting and the clothes start to loosen :-)
Guess I'll have to watch myself and do some tweaking there too. Running out of energy suddenly, collapsingly, is never a good thing.
Catering for the masses? I don't eat. Fixing the Landy? No time to eat - not hungry. Working on a website? No food thanks. Have done without lunch at work on a good few occasions without really noticing.
The thing is that I don't get hungry easily, especially not while busy. So while everyone I'm supposed to be cooking for is starving, I've forgotten the fact that food is required!
But hey - enough forgetting and the clothes start to loosen :-)
Guess I'll have to watch myself and do some tweaking there too. Running out of energy suddenly, collapsingly, is never a good thing.
Running
It feels like I spend my days running. Today is no exception. I've got two to-do lists that are pretty daunting, and tasks that keep going into overtime. I can't seem to stay settled on one thing long enough to complete it to my satisfaction before the next is calling.
In between all this I have fragments of half-forgotten dreams surfacing, plans and goals tapping me on the shoulder, what-if-imaginings pressing through my brainspace, and questions needing answers rattling their chains in dusty corners.
Full-time job, full-time home, full-time mom, full-time working on the side toward a future plan - it all takes its toll and has me wondering how to balance everything without it all falling down.
And yet there are things that help.
This weekend my work at home got a boost in the form of much needed organization and space. I work better when I don't keep thinking of how to adjust my environment - when I have everything to hand and can concentrate on what needs doing. And now I have just that.
Today I'm making sure I work my way down the list, one thing at a time (although doing two lists at once....). I'm focussing on each job seperately, without distraction as much as I can until it's complete. My multi-tasking head wants to do more than one thing, wants to keep 6 screens open and jump around between them. I'm doing my best not to let it, because it can only mean disaster.
But I'm running. Mentally running. And plotting how to get phyiscally running too... I wonder if I can run and type at the same time?
In between all this I have fragments of half-forgotten dreams surfacing, plans and goals tapping me on the shoulder, what-if-imaginings pressing through my brainspace, and questions needing answers rattling their chains in dusty corners.
Full-time job, full-time home, full-time mom, full-time working on the side toward a future plan - it all takes its toll and has me wondering how to balance everything without it all falling down.
And yet there are things that help.
This weekend my work at home got a boost in the form of much needed organization and space. I work better when I don't keep thinking of how to adjust my environment - when I have everything to hand and can concentrate on what needs doing. And now I have just that.
Today I'm making sure I work my way down the list, one thing at a time (although doing two lists at once....). I'm focussing on each job seperately, without distraction as much as I can until it's complete. My multi-tasking head wants to do more than one thing, wants to keep 6 screens open and jump around between them. I'm doing my best not to let it, because it can only mean disaster.
But I'm running. Mentally running. And plotting how to get phyiscally running too... I wonder if I can run and type at the same time?
I'm dreaming...
... of a layer of fish.
Yup, fish.
Woke up with the weirdest dream this morning.
Imagine if you will a bubble-blowing machine. Little silver bubbles in the half-light of dusk emerging from a single point in a vineyard next to the main road I travel home. And the bubbles all heading up to about ceiling level - then forming a layer and bouncing slightly against each other in the night sky.
Now imagine those little silver bubbles are little silver bouyant fish, all happily popping out of the ground in a stream of glisten and hanging in the air just above head-height...
Told you it was a weird dream! :-)
Favourite Man was dreaming of cutting out map contours at the same time.
We must have eaten the wrong thing for supper!!!
Yup, fish.
Woke up with the weirdest dream this morning.
Imagine if you will a bubble-blowing machine. Little silver bubbles in the half-light of dusk emerging from a single point in a vineyard next to the main road I travel home. And the bubbles all heading up to about ceiling level - then forming a layer and bouncing slightly against each other in the night sky.
Now imagine those little silver bubbles are little silver bouyant fish, all happily popping out of the ground in a stream of glisten and hanging in the air just above head-height...
Told you it was a weird dream! :-)
Favourite Man was dreaming of cutting out map contours at the same time.
We must have eaten the wrong thing for supper!!!
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