FNB - take...5...?

Today I braved yet another trip to FNB to attempt to open an account. 

Tries 1 and 2 were direct at branches, the 3rd and 4th attempts were online and phone registration.

This time I went armed with a "go see this chick at this branch" recommendation, which I duly did.  The Strand branch falls over themselves when you walk in the door - especially as a potential business client.  You're seated in "business class" and updated every few seconds as to where Liza is (she was out when I arrived) and that she's "almost back".  Which took about half an hour,  but at least there was aircon as opposed to what was going on outside.

Yet again I regretted not hauling my emergency Reader's Digest Condensed Book along with me, but nevertheless.

I finally got to see Liza, hauled out the documents... this time I had the latest proof of residence in the form of the newest phone bill and its receipt.  Unfortunately for me, we requested a few months to be switched over to the new electronic version that arrives by email, although the street address is listed on the bill.  More unfortunately, it now seems this is not proof of residence!

Even more unfortunately, this is the ONLY bill that doesn't go to the P O Box address, and I don't live at the post office!!!

After emphatically stating this fact to her, Liza went running off to find a superior to try get this one past. 

Bear in mind that ABSA opened an account at face value with a phonebill that was past the 3 month limit by mere days, and which FNB then rejected a few minutes later - telling me that I need to bring in a new one, even if it's the electronic version.

One more half hour of waiting later, Liza was back.  Nope, no go.

Another FNB fail.  Apparently I now need to go get my entire lease agreement for this address, all 16 pages, with each initialled, and the agreement signed, and take that to them as proof that I'm not living under the N2 bridge.  In other words, try a SIXTH time to open the most basic of business accounts.

This is getting a little tiring.  All I want to do is make life easier for my clients - let them pay their invoices FNB to FNB.  Instead it seems FNB would much rather tie me up in red tape while cash continues to leave the accounts of their clients (and thus THEIR account) to other banks.

Make sense?

Nope, I didn't think so.

Sigh.

I've got a chockablock schedule for the next little while and don't have time to go sit at banks.  I'll be lucky if I finally get an account opened before the next statement run on the 25th.

FNB vs ABSA

I've been on a mission this week to open two bank accounts for Cape Connect - one at ABSA, one at FNB.  Purely to make life easier for my clients who have accounts there.

Yesterday afternoon, after a morning spent rushing to Cape Town and back, I headed to the banks at the Mall to open an account - simply because they were close enough together to warrant less running around in the available time.  I went armed and prepared, all required documentation in hand.  But it's the holiday season.....

I tried ABSA first - only to discover their sole not-on-holiday business consultant was at another branch.  So I changed course and dashed over to FNB to join the queue for the only two consultants on duty.

Nearly an hour later I was at the desk asking questions and ready to open an account.  Unfortunately the consultant had his eye on the clock and the queue behind me.  He handed me brochures, gave me vague information without anwering any of my questions properly, and in effect told me to go away and come back another day, as he was too busy to spend the half-hour required to set me up.

By this time the town branch of ABSA had closed so there would be no bank joy that day...

Back home I went onto the FNB site to try apply online.  The form is there, but pressing any kind of Submit or Contact buttons throws up insane errors and gets no reaction.

So this morning first thing I headed off to the town branches. 

ABSA first.  Yes, the business consultant was on duty - but no-one had told me I had to make an appointment.  However, he may be able to fit me in, take a seat.  Which I did - and listened as the three staff members behind me gossipped for 45 minutes about staff, clients and everything else in full hearing of the people waiting to be attended to.  Not exactly professional behaviour.

Finally I got my chance, and to his credit Vincent at the Somerset West Main Road branch does everything he can to make his business client's lives easier.  It took quite a while to get through the paperwork, but an hour later I walked out of there with an account number, activated bank card, and a positive balance in my new ABSA business account.

To their non-credit, I also walked out with very little information on how everything works, no holder for my card (went back and asked for one) and no actual paperwork to show I had an account there - no price/fees list, no printed summary of my account details - I had to copy them off the ABSA application document or I wouldn't have known them at all!  Also to their non-credit, I had to apply seperately and am paying a large amount of cash each month for the privilege of accessing my account online, nearly 5 times more than the basic bank fee.  Surely in this day and age electronic / internet banking should be included as a matter of fact, free of charge?  Back at base, using the online banking was "interesting" - a lot more complicated than my usual Standard Bank procedure, less information on-screen, and the SMS confirmation of having logged in repeatedly as I tried to get it all right has started to get irritating.  No way to shut it off though.

ABSA done, it was on to the town branch of FNB, as I had a sudden onset of extreme aversion to trying to conduct business with the consultant at the Mall.

Again it was a case of write your details in The Book, take a seat and wait.  For the third time in two days I wondered if I should have dragged a book or a laptop along...

Once at the front of the queue nearly an hour later, I had my request down pat.  I need this particular account, here are the documents you'll need, please open the account.  The consultant first had to go verify my proof of residence, and then came back to say it's a few days older than the required minimum three months, so is unacceptable.  This, the very same document ABSA had just opened an account with.  Trouble is, this particular proof of residence now arrives electronically, and that was the last time I received a paper version.  But no, they wouldn't accept it - and yet again FNB told me to go away.

So I decided to try one more option.

Back at base, I filled out a "please call me" form on their website.  Many hours later, still waiting.

Then I phoned the call centre and asked them to please open an account over the phone as all other ways of doing so have failed.  They took my email address and phone number, said they'd send through documents for me to fill in and return (the originals of which would be collected by courier from me), and that a customer relations manager would give me a call within 48 hours.

Needless to say, I'm still waiting on the documents, and the phone has not rung.

This is starting to really piss me off.  Does FNB not want my business?  Are they trying to make it so hard to open an account that we all revert to keeping cash under the mattress?

I know I'm doing this for the good of my clients, but I'm starting to wonder if it's worth any of the effort I'm having to put in.