STOP THE WORLD!...and let me catch up...

Lately it feels like I'm observing my life, not living it. I guess it's as if someone has put up a video camera and taped me running around, and I'm watching it in fast-forward. It seems that each day is but a mindless running to and fro, stuck in a routine, never really getting around to what I really want to do, just getting by - survival mode.
I watch me being a single mom. I get up, send my son to school, rush home at lunch to make something he won't complain about, back to work, home again at 5 to do the supper-homework-bath-bedtime routine. We're missing out on seriously fun family time. We're not doing the things I'd love to do with him. Suddenly he's 10 years old and before I know it he'll be gone - and I'll be wishing we had more time.
I watch me being a worship team member. Each week I rush to practice (praying the car will either make it there or stop when I need it to), rush through training singers for our upcoming outreach programme, rush through getting songs right on piano and/or keyboard, then rush home. I hurry to services, work hard at worship, try and listen to the sermon without thinking about what comes next, and then go home again.
I watch me at work - and that's scary stuff! I see me sitting on the net instead of facing up to piles of things waiting for me. I find the days flying past, and I'm not getting half the stuff done I want to. I get home and remember what I wanted to accomplish at work - but it's too late. And by the time I get to work tomorrow I'll have forgotten what I wanted to do.
Where does it all end? When do I get time to actually live? When do I get to enjoy life and stop the spinning wheel of routine? When do I get to just be me? Do I even know who that is anymore?
And now I have to rush off yet again....
Current Music: Hillsong "Hope"