Sunday's thoughts

This was written over Sunday, but only made it to be posted today:

Please can I have a day off from being church? Just one?

Please can I just be mean and nasty to those who are mean and nasty - just for today? Please can I not have to try so hard to be a Good Christian? Please can I have a break from explaining what being church is about and having to show that in my everyday life? Please can I be cranky, just for today, and snap back at those who snap at me? Please can I just Do Church today, comfortably stuck in the rut and going through the motions? Please can I think bad thoughts, not make the effort, be a bad parent, fall back into those nice old destructive habits? Please can I frown instead of smile? Please can I spread gossip and slander and malice and not consider the consequences? Please can I just mutely follow the rest of the herd in their well-word paths? Please can I sit down instead of stand up?

Please can I just get ONE day off?