Eye-Openers

While doing switchboard duty as a stand-in I got a chance to hang around the alternative worship site a bit. Did a bit of reading, then hit upon the link to Open and Closed Models of church. It struck me, HARD, just how closed a church I serve in right now. Everything is led from up front, we're all facing one way and not looking at each other, and there's a back pew to hide in. The service still centres around the sermon - which is going to happen like it or not. A few weeks ago we had an awesome time of testimony and praise, and could have gone home without the sermon, but no, there's a sermon planned and a sermon there will be! It was a bit of a let-down, frankly.

Now I admit, the church building is not set up to be anything other than led from the front. There are fixed-in-place pews and the stage takes some climbing to aspire to! But within the worship and the things we do week after week, I'm sure we could be more circle-ised (is that a word?) and less leader-focused. We seem to be pretty good at doing church, watching church happen, but then we all go home again.

I guess I am still craving that organic, community-facilitated, in-it-with-everything, focused on God worship. And as much as I love playing in the band and the goosebump enthusiasm of the youth service, I know that what I yearn for deep down is not going to happen there. Sure, we get touches of it now and then, and they're completely unplanned.

I really would like to see more facilitation and less leading in our worship, but fear that it's not possible within the traditions and context of this church. It's been built on a long history of growing in a certain direction and I don't think me, as a passing worshipper, would be able to make the slightest dent on it.

Yes, I've said stuff to the worship committee, but I'm the youngest (at age 32!) of the group, and they totally can't relate to what's in my head. Some things have made a small impression, but there's yet to be any implimentation or change.

I know I shouldn't give up hope that God will work in ways that meet this group's needs - which may not be my needs! - where they're at and where they're ready to be. So perhaps I should stop trying to do God's job and just do mine.