Faith of a Child

In wandering through the book of Matthew this week something really stood out in one verse. Jesus was talking to his disciples about the kind of faith they need to end up in heaven, and my translation said, "This kind of faith only comes from sincere prayer and fasting."

Sincere prayer? When last did I really, truly pray sincerely? Not just a "thank you for a good day and please be with me as I sleep" type prayer, but sincere prayer... Do I even know how to pray really sincerely? I don't know if I do. What would I pray about, what can I be sincere about, and not just touch on surface, shallow stuff?

And fasting - well, even though I don't eat a lot, I still need breakfast to make it to lunch, lunch to make it through the afternoon, but can usually skip supper. I don't think I've ever really fasted - I know I can't while having to work at the same time. It seems physically impossible that I'll function well if I do. It's a pretty good excuse.... right???

But if the kind of faith that ends me in eternity requires sincere prayer and fasting, it's no wonder I feel so empty at times! So shallow and disconnected. It's simple. I'm not completely walking the walk, just taking occasional steps. There's more that's needed and I need to be prepared, like the rich young man, to give up a lot in order to gain eternity. And not just possessions either. I need to give up habits and comforts and routines and place my trust entirely in God that He'll work when I let go.

I need to learn how to do that, how to completely let go without my mind constantly going back to what I'm giving up, or my body crying out for it's old routines and habits. I need to learn to completely surrender all that I am, all that I have, all that I do. It isn't easy...