Raising Boys

Mom, who is always sending me little bits of this and that, recently sent a book called "Raising Boys" by Steve Biddulph. I'm only half-way through it, but so far it's pretty excellent.

There are, of course, many things in the book that make me sad as a single mom - things my son has already missed out on and will miss out on, hints that having a dad around prevents so many teen problems, talk of time spent learning how to be a man, time spent being father and son. Yes, I can "appoint" good male mentors to help my son with this, and I hope my dad will take some of this role once we're in Australia, but a real live dad would be so, so much better.

I just don't see myself marrying anyone, any time soon, or perhaps any time ever. Am I being selfish, making my son miss out on a dad-full family, by not even being willing to go look for a partner? Perhaps. Am I just too lazy to go through the hassle of dating, and dumping, and such again? Perhaps. Am I even more scared of making the same relationship mistakes I did so many times? Most definitely. It's a dilemma I'm not sure how to deal with, and one that may permanently affect my son's future, the way he copes with life.

Sure, mom's got a LOOOONNNNG list of "nice young men that turned up at our church today", ready and waiting for my arrival, but if it's meant to happen I'd prefer to let God do the usual open-doors/closed-doors thing and let me go about things that way.

Anyway, back to the subject - I get way off track way too often! Raising boys isn't easy, especially as a single mom. So far I think I've coped, by God's grace only, but I know there's going to be miles and miles of challenges ahead as he hits the teen years.

One thing that scares me about moving to Australia is the prevalence of drug and alcohol abuse among teens (or so I've heard/seen). I so don't want my son into that! I'm still working through how to keep him from it. One thing the book emphasizes is the importance of community and mentors and such - something many of us know from "being church" too! Perhaps therein lies the answer to my dilemma. A community, close-knit as the extended families of old. A place to belong, a place to learn, a place to grow and rest.

There's still half a book to go. Lots to learn, and even more to attempt to put into practice. I think I'm gonna need all the help I can get!

::update::
It never ceases to amaze me at how unrelated blogs can come up with similar things on any given day. Take the case of The Green Man's Manhood Week, using none other than the same author, Steve Biddulph's book, on Manhood! Looks like it's going to be a good week for men on his blog, and I'm gonna lurk...:)