Sabbath Rest (without God?)

I've noticed a disturbing trend lately in my Sabbath rest. I no longer attend a church on Sabbath, so have been taking the day as plain rest and alone-time to spend with God.

But on the Sabbaths that I just rest, without spending time with God, I'm left with a seriously empty void. It's like the rest and God-time have to happen together, or I miss out completely.

For the past 2 weeks we've taken it easy, spent time outside, walked the dogs, had an afternoon nap, and before we know it the day's over and we haven't done our Bible study or spent time in prayer and thought. And at the end of the day it's been about as satisfying as eating meringue - nice enough, but doesn't fill any holes. (I've also been bunking the Sunday services that I don't have to play at, so we're getting no church, period.)

It seems that Sabbath should then not only be rest, but also God-time. "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy". Not just remember to take time off and stop rushing around for a day.

It means I need to put in more effort to set aside time for Him and make sure I actually do what I plan. Perhaps it means I might have to brace myself and go to church now and then. Even if I leave with a frustration headache and poke-holes from those who point at the "backslider" behind my back. I may have to grit my teeth and deal with thinly-veiled comments from those who have no clue about my journey.

I also need to find a way to set the day aside as extra-special. Perhaps institute family traditions that only happen on this day, or keep an activity or special meal specifically for this time. Use candles to mark its beginning and end, or celebrate with our favourite local grape juice. Something that sets the day apart from being just a holiday from work/school/everyday stuff. Like Jewish families do at the begining of the Sabbath hours - prayers, blessings, etc.

I can't take one more day of "empty blessing". If I have to start another week unfilled with God, it's going to be hard to endure. Next week is bound to be stressful, and I need to have filled my spiritual tank in advance, or face running out of steam by Tuesday.

Lord, I ask for your bountiful blessing in these Sabbath hours to come. You know how easy it is to get onto the take-it-easy road, how easy it is to let my time with You slide in favour of an afternoon nap. I need Your help this Sabbath, I need Your presence, I need to be filled.