Should I stay or should I go?

I'm perched on the horns of a pretty sharp-tipped dilemma.

Our worship team leader made it clear that we should not be a part of the Creative Arts Ministry Team unless we have a strong walk with the Lord and everythings OK spiritually.

Trouble is, I'm not sure I have even a weak walk at the moment and I'm sure as heck not that spiritually OK. I'm really struggling right now! But at the same time my involvement in worship and music in the church is helping me get closer to God - closer than the weeks I sit in the pews.

If I leave, I will not only face the cries of "deserter!" from some, but also may face losing out on the one thing that seems to be feeding me spiritually these days.

So what to do? Should I just keep silent and hope that my lack of "spirituality" doesn't block God's working through the team? Or do I face up to the truth, tell the truth and leave?

Hard, hard decisions... I'm going to have to run this past someone who knows both me and the worship team pretty well. Time to use my "phone a friend" option!

::update::
Phoned the friend, who was extremely shocked to hear I had thoughts of leaving. I didn't get to tell her all my reasons, but she was very encouraging and said "of course you must stay! We all have downs, but this is where God's put your heart!" I still have to deal with discouragement and the repurcussions of the worship team leader's Big Gripe Session after the service on Sunday (which SO destroyed the meagre blessing I'd received), but for now I'll give it my best and see how it goes.