A Prayer Answered

If you've been with this blog for a while, you'll know that I'm involved in the worship team at church, and have long desired to lead worship.

Well, near the end of last year I felt God was pushing my boundaries, teaching me new stuff, and that perhaps it was ALMOST time for me to be able to lead worship. I wasn't going to ask to lead, but told God it was up to him to get our leader to ask me, if His time was right.

OK, I know I'm nowhere near spiritually fine to be able to lead right now, but in the meantime God's answered the prayer.... with a "no".

New church policy - only full members may lead worship, just in case someone comes up with something doctrinally incorrect on stage. Makes sense from their standpoint I guess, they're protecting their people from heresy or whatever, but as I can't be a member (long story) there's no way I'll ever lead.

So that's that. God's answer in a nutshell.

It's for the best, especially right now when I'm not in a fit state to perhaps even participate in worship, never mind take the lead. You know the saying - "you can't lead worship unless you're a lead worshipper". Well, I aint right now, so for the sake of the church and myself this is a good thing.

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While on the church subject, one of the things I've been wanting out of is church. I don't think I should be though, as that's my "spiritual support group", the place where I go for help, acceptance, guidance when I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't think any Christian can struggle along completely alone. Whether we meet formally or informally, we need connections with others who can help, guide, listen, explore, learn with us. Many find this in a church, others in home groups or at the local cafe.

I know there's no perfect church, but there are little things starting to bother me, like attitudes to worship and evangelism, focus on numbers and perfection of performance. Stuff like that. I guess I've been giving a little too much thought to the Being Church thing, and now am seeing stuff that doesn't match up from those doing church.

I don't really want to leave, but I also don't really want to stay. I guess I'll stick it out until I get a little direction as to where I'm headed (Australia or here permanently).