That Little Niggling Thought

There are certain things that follow you when you grow up, when you start thinking things through for yourself. Call them ingrained, mis-interpreted, whatever. Beliefs that you've always assumed. Things that sit in the back of your head and bother you now and then.

And I can see where a lot of folk are coming from on this one, where they're uncomfortable because I'm stepping back for a while to see what God wants in my life. Especially if they view the church as a religious gathering under a set of beliefs and not just God's people spread across various visible/invisible boundaries.

The upshot of it is a little verse or two in Matthew 24: "At that time many will turn away from the faith....but he who stands firm to the end will be saved."

That seems to have been interpreted to mean "at the end of time a lot of folk are going to leave the church, those that remain will be headed onward and upward" or something like that.

Which is why what I'm doing is making a whole lot of folk very uncomfortable. And I'm being considered a backslider, heretic or "non-attending member" (terrible! the horror!).

OK, "leaving the faith" should probably be interpreted "turning your back on God". To some, that IS leaving your local church gathering. But ever since I read a statement that said "you can only leave the church if you leave Jesus", I've felt differently.

Perhaps leaving a congregation or gathering of like-minded to let God work is better than sticking around just to feel saved? Yeah, that's it. I just wish it didn't make so many panic.

::further thoughts - post-lunch::
I guess what worries one when rethinking assumed or ingrained ideas/beliefs is the thought "what if I'm wrong and they're right?". It appears from scripture that such a small percentage of humanity will end up in heaven, yet churches are growing and growing daily - the SDA church in Africa alone is expected to hit the 20 million mark in a few years time! Not counting the many other groups....

In my case the question is added to by the fact that I don't usually hear God loud and clear, but sorta stumble forward in the dark, hoping it's His voice and not my own. There's always that niggling "what if" going on, whichever way you're headed.

But in my case I know stepping back might be (and has been in the past) a literal soul-saver. Not that I'm better than anyone sitting in churches every week (some need that desperately, many meet God fully right there and grow in His presence), but just because I'm different - the odd one out at most times. It may be a season of learning only, or it may be a life-journey. It's just that it's right for here and now. Another time, another place, it might be a different story.