Muddling in the Huddle

I love my church friends, I really do. They're awesome people, many of whom are the strongest Christians I've ever met. They're genuine and open and loving.

But (and you knew there was a but coming, didn't ya!) they seem so caught up in organizational self-preservation. So many of the activities are to feed the group. They make occasional very good forays into society - like supporting a school for homeless kids, helping build a church in the squatter camps and reaching out to farm workers nearby.

But most of their time, energy and resources are spent on maintaining the group - camps, courses, cell groups, meetings, building plans, worship team education and such. All that energy spent muddling in the huddle.

This is my last month with the worship team (indefinitely). I have 2 more services to play at. I don't know how regular my attendance will be after that. My mom did say I need to keep close to a community of believers and they are about all I have. But already I can see a difference, as if I've stepped over the outer wall. I haven't heard from some folk who used to call every day - probably because those calls were mainly worship team stuff with a bit of "how are you" thrown in. Because I won't be involved directly, because I've handed over my worship committee admin duties, there's perhaps not much to say to me - I'm outside the holy huddle, not helping to keep it running smoothly anymore.

It's pretty hard to maintain friendships outside the perimiter of a group. If you're not involved day-to-day in the group's existance, it's difficult to make contact with those who are. There's less in common and you see each other irregularly.

It is something I am going to need to work hard at. I need people - I can't journey alone. I respect the opinions and enjoy the friendships of those whom I have come to know well. It's just going to take a lot more effort now to meet up, to check in. We may have to find new common ground to talk about and relate over. I can't just glide along with the flock anymore. I can't just muddle in the huddle.

While I'm in this resting period, waiting to see what God wants me to do next and learning what life with Him is about, I need to keep my connections with His kids. I need to dig deeper into their lives and connect with their hearts. Some may fall away, others may come by - but I need to do my part and not lose out on the beautiful unique people He's put in my life, simply because I don't want the effort involved.