A day in the life...

Been wondering what an ideal day would look like for me - work and home and such. A while back I got half-way through a book about finding the work you love, loving the work you do and such, and one of the pointers was to try imagine what an ideal day would be. All I can see at the moment are snippets, but I'm going to jot them down here before I forget.

* Time in the morning for a decent breakfast, some walking exercise with the dogs and kid, and devotional time.

* A job I can do from anywhere by phone (like my brother has), giving me freedom to step outside the 8-5 working hour boundaries, freedom to come and go as I need to and time to source things for my business. I guess supplying small shops with my products would be a good one - it's up to them to man the cash points and get the stock moving, while I can be flexible with what I do when, as long as I keep them supplied with a good quality product.

* A clean, calm, restful house to come home to. (I'm getting really frustrated with the inside of our little, cramped, crowded place where my son has to live in the lounge. I spend a lot of time out in the garden...). Chance to spend time there.

* Three meals a day filled with delicious, healthy, enjoyable foods - and enough time/inspiration to create them (not just "weekend specials"). Should help our health improve dramatically!

* A spot of community involvement - helping out, cleaning up, educating or just caring, and connecting with the folk around me as I do so.

* Time in the afternoons and evenings to spend with my son, doing homework, creating family traditions, talking and just being together. No mind and eye strain after a desk-job day, no just wanting to veg in front of the TV or fall into bed.

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Hmm...seems like "time" is a recurring theme through all of these! Perhaps I should be re-examining my time-management and re-thinking my priorities.

Feeling trapped behind a desk for fixed hours is also a biggie - need to sort out why it bugs me so much, and what to do about it. I've been doing the set work hours thing ever since my first job, but would so much like not to have to.

I'd love to be able to use my creative bits more in the day, and not let them lie fallow until "one day". It's a big, but hidden, part of me, and one that I want to bring to life again. I love creating things of beauty, simple and useful and feel-good stuff. I want to try my hand at woodworking, organic forms that you want to run your hands over. Create clothes and home furnishings with Indian cotton, raw silk, fine linen. I want to experiment with foods - all those lovely "exotic" things we never seem to be able to afford, so have never tried using. I want to learn and grow inside (and stop growing around the hips), letting that part of me literally shine out.

I feel like I'm disconnected from friends, family, the community. Living on an isolated campus behind security gates, I feel uncomfortable asking people to brave that and stop by. I feel uncomfortable with how small my place is, and having to ask people to balance plates on their knees over meals. I don't like the fact that it's not maintained by my "landlord", and am embarrassed when people notice the peeling paint, awful floors, rotty carpets. I find myself longing to live smack-bang in the middle of where the people are at. I wish for an open house, a large and welcoming house, where people will just drop by instead of never coming by. I want my son to be comfortable eating other people's food, socializing - instead of just not eating if we're elsewhere for a meal and staying off to one side on his own. I want to be able to host a gathering of fellow-journeyers on a spiritual road of discovery, or weekend meals that take all day while we chat and relax.

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OK, this is a really rambling post. Sorry. I'm thinking aloud, and writing stuff down always helps me clarify and think through. Will try not to do it too often here.

Just trying to figure out why, at the end of every day, it feels like I've only gone through the motions and haven't really lived.