Don't say too much

I may just have said too much. I'm like that sometimes if you get me talking church and change.

You see, a lady I know well stopped by the office to ask if I'd be willing to get re-involved in my former church's Pre-Cellgroup programme. I told her no thanks, that I was in a dry and dusty place, and that if I said yes because I was feeling sorry for her I'd end up burned out and in a worse off place than I am now.

And then I asked her what she'd actually wanted me to do. See - first say no, then ask! :) Well, that got us on to her concerns for the youth, and how they're drifting away - and what to do about it.

Well, she's just finished a Len Sweet book, and was left with more problems than answers, but at least she's sorta getting on the same page as what she could be for change. Of course I promptly launched into all sorts of things like mind-set changes, form vs real, ancient-future worship, then we got onto communion (going through motions and being exclusive instead of being willing to include), etc. etc. etc....

And I probably said too much. She asked what needs to change, and I went off on a gigantic list of things that could do with a re-look. Things that may be completely and utterly out of her range of thought, so may have put more distance between us than solved any problems, or given any hint of an answer.

Oh dear. How like me. I should learn to shut up when someone brings up the Big C (church) subject, instead of trying to change the world.

You see, my old church is still very traditional. They follow the same set service week after week, displayed overhead via powerpoint (which was a vast technological improvement, but has gotten stuck in a rut). Actually, they've gone back to the same order of service they had 20 years ago, chucking out all the gradual and good change we'd managed to implement. People stand, sit, kneel, listen, sing (or pretend they are) according to what's up on the screen. Want to change the order? Take it through the church board! Sad, but true.

There's a certain mindset that says change is dangerous. The congregation is run top-down like an organization (like many other churches). If you're a bottom-dweller (low on the rungs) you can so easily slip through the cracks. Many of my friends have. The youth have, those who are seeking for something more.

And that's what this lady is up against, and a part of. Changing that mindset, seeing that there are other ways to do things without losing your belief identity or "going wild" is very, very hard to do.

She wants to get the youth involved - I said that they need to be mentored and discipled (it's not happening now), and grown into leadership naturally, then allowed to lead as the people they are without being stuffed into an expectations box. That the rest of the congregation needs to support them and bear with them as they find their feet - being there to guide and help, but letting them be who they are.

And I probably said way too much more. I get like that. I should probably learn to shut up. I should learn to stop when that look of "what the heck are you talking about" comes over someone's face.

The only thing I really need to be working on is me. Not trying to save the world, or open eyes or blow minds to the possibilities out there. Just change me.

And I have to learn to shut up and listen!