Half-formed thoughts

Ever have one of those periods of time where your thoughts never really seem to reach a conclusion? One of those "must think more about this" or "I'd like to go deeper into this" times?

I seem to be doing that constantly these days! I read something and want to be able to sit and let it penetrate, or investigate it further, but before I know it my mind's rushed on to other things. I start to plan something like a sewing or woodwork project, but just as I'm going to formulate a on-paper plan, it evaporates like mist in the sun and I'm onto the next subject.

It may just be a result of the rushed life I lead, of having too much to do in the hours I'm allotted, of having my fingers in too many flavours of pie instead of sticking to just one. It seems I'm constantly on a schedule, pushing ahead to something I have to do in the future, and not letting this minute, this moment be lived completely.

It's been hard for me to let thoughts and ideas just flow until they reach wherever they're going - and that's perhaps why I've found art and imagination and creation hard to do in recent years. I get a half-formed picture in my head, but it never gets time to develop into what it really can be before it's crushed.

Half-formed thoughts don't make for good blogging either. I wonder if my rambling here is even worth it most days. It's random stuff, nothing profound or perhaps even worth reading, except to me. Now and then a spark of inspiration glows so strongly that it refuses to die until it's a full-bodied fire. But that's pretty rare.

I'm trying to take the time to think, to let my head ramble on until there's a full-stop. It's hard to do - I'm constantly bombarded by information and images and new ideas that threaten to overtake what's mine.

I may need to give up blogging and reading blogs for a while for this to really work...and yet often I find my thoughts echoed and taken to another level by someone wiser than myself, who can clearly express the stuff turning over in their head.

So here I remain, caught between the half-formed and those who form things better than I do, longing for the brain-space to let ideas expand until they become passions. Perhaps my mind needs a good defragment! :)