Working 8 to 5....

Yeah, I know it's supposed to be "9 to 5" according to that old song, but hey - I can't help my office hours! :)

So, it's a new year and I'm back at work - and back at the blog. Expect posting to pick up considerably. If I can only come up with something to say that's worth throwing out into cyberspace.

I've started this year feeling more hope than I have in a while. Hope for positive change and big, good things happening in my life. This is the year when I may finally get it together and stop living a "pity me" life. The year when I get back my friends and make a success of my own business. The year when I will either stay permanently in South Africa or move permanently to Australia - no more living in limbo.

Much of this hope seeped in over Christmas. Although it didn't "feel" like Christmas somehow, I did spend a lot of time with my family and their in-laws. I handed out a lot of home-made gifts, and in return got a "this is awesome" response to what I gave - all of which are potential products for my little business idea. It kinda made me think things could work out.... And yet there still seems a huge chasm between where I'm at and where I need to be for success. I'm having trouble figuring out just exactly what I want to do with the business, and how to take those first huge steps in getting my name and my products out there. The fearful child in me wants to run away from the challenge and hide - the go-getter in me says "now's your chance!".

More hope came while we connected as siblings over a Christmas eve meal. We had an awesome time, and have all agreed that this needs to be a new tradition for us. I've realized I'm not as alone as I sometimes feel.

There are issues I face in this new year, though. Life is never smooth sailing.

Things like not being able to fit into my work clothes after the holiday (I wore stretchy stuff like shorts and tracksuit pants all the time, so didn't notice I've put on a kilo or two - and it's not more than that, but enough to make my clothes feel too small).

Things like not knowing where the heck my spiritual life is going. A few weeks ago I was losing my religion - now I think I may have lost it entirely. More on that in a later post, along with response to the many comments I received...

Things like a child who is starting to push the boundaries, and who is stubbornly refusing to eat properly, get exercise or obey the simplest instructions. Lord, preserve us!

Things like a need for serenity, stillness and calm in my life - though I did start the new year with a clutter-free bedroom, which is simply marvellous! Now there's the rest of the house to tackle.

Yes, there's hope. Yes, there's a feeling of positive new beginnings, and a road heading in the right direction. I'm trusting that these will be strong enough to sustain me as the year unfolds.

Many blessings to each of you for 2005!