Degrees of Bad

With apologies in advance to those of my readers who were under the mistaken impression I was reasonably civilized.

Bad: Getting water down your breathing pipe.
Worse: Getting burning-hot chakalaka mixed with mashed potatoes and mayo down your breathing pipe!

Bad: Farting after eating lentils.
Worse: Farting after eating lentils and chilis!

Bad: Falling down and scraping a knee.
Worse: Falling out of a not-quite-stopped train in front of an entire coach of good-looking young men and scraping a knee (same knee)!

Bad: Farting in bed.
Worse: Farting in bed so loudly that the dog sleeping against your back gets a gigantic fright, wakes up and goes to sleep elsewhere!

Bad: Garlic breath.
Worse: Garlic, marmite and coffee burps!

Bad: Sneezing.
Worse: This kind of sneezing!

Bad: Farting in private.
Worse: Farting (silently, you hope - yet it is not to be) on a wooden church pew which echoes distinctly just as the preacher gets to the serious and quiet bit of his sermon!

Bad: Steaming up the car windows with a hot young man.
Worse: Reversing the car into a wall and smashing the back in because the windows were steamed up!

Bad: Burping.
Worse: Burping near a microphone you didn't know was on!

Bad: Spinach in your teeth.
Worse: Day-old booger discovered on the outside of your nose when you look in the mirror just before bed!

Bad: Itchy butt.
Worse: Scratching it luxuriously with hand down pants and then noticing you're not really alone after all!

Disclaimer: It wasn't me.