A World of Possibilities

I've got a really bad habit. I tend to over-plan the future. Try figure out what will happen so I can be prepared. Explore all the may-happen scenarios - most of which actually DON'T happen, so I don't know why I bother. Sometimes I get worked up about it.

Like the time someone said they wanted to see me. I got all angsty about it, thinking through numerous "I've done something wrong and am about to get kakked out" options, until I dreaded seeing them! When they did actually turn up, it was to talk about something totally innocuous and way off my panic radar. OK, so I was relieved, but also felt a little on the stooopid side for working myself up over nothing.

I'm starting to do the same thing with our upcoming trip. I'm going through long lists of stuff that COULD happen - and probably won't. I'm dreaming and imagining, and probably letting myself get carried away a bit too much.

(OK, cricket - you were entertaining last week, but now your chirping is driving me nuts. Go find another home!)

I'm not going to go into details here, but I think I'd better put a brake on my daydreams. Before they run away from me.

And yet, there IS a world of possibilities that this trip will open up. There's all those eligible bachelors that mom has lined up at church (and dad's starting to get on the bandwagon too!). There's potential employment and sponsorship to move there permanently. There's a possibility I may see the Aussie farmer who captured my heart 8 years ago and may still have a good grip on it - depending on circumstances. There's a new culture to get to know, new impressions to make - and a chance to project myself in a whole new way, baggage-less. All of these create a "what if" in my brain - mulling over what could happen, what I'd like to happen, what may not happen.

It's likely nothing will actually happen, other than we take a trip, see my parents, do some exploring (rumour has it we'll be spending 3 days in the Brisbane area at someone's holiday home on the Gold Coast), make a few new friends, and then come back home.

But as usual, my over-active imagination is taking over and not giving me a chance to just experience whatever comes our way. It delves too deep, reads too much into things that don't matter.

Darn it! Wish there was a brain-switch in there somewhere.