...and a time to go.

(I've been hesitating to post this, dunno why, but hey - it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to! :) If I don't want it up in half an hour's time there's always the delete button.)

Sitting in the staff worship time at the beginning of the working day today, I found an odd prayer circulating my mind - "Lord, get me out of here, soon! Before I do something I (or someone else) regret/s...".

Not that I'm ungrateful for employment. I realize daily how lucky I am to have a job to go to and a roof over my head. It's just that I've been here for 9 1/2 years now, and it's all getting a little bit much. There are patterns in what happens here that don't change.

* There's talk of me being kicked out of my office - again. Sent to some dark hole on the basement floor (not a logial thing, as my function here demands an easily-accessible and easily-visible office space for those who arrive seeking my help). Why? Well, because one boss wants a prime space office, so is moving EVERYONE if he gets his way. When in fact he may not need it, as he's likely to take over the mega-boss position and office in the near future.

* There's indications my job description will be added to significantly in areas that have absolutely nothing to do with my position. Forcibly. Without my input, and with no logical reason behind it.

* And I find myself more and more grated on by the religious assumptions everyone else makes. Little comments that go against how I see things (as more and more of an outsider, or someone way too different to fit snugly in the system) and make it hard for me to keep my mouth shut.

Perhaps I'm just WAY too negative today. I'm just tired of being a pawn, a dictated-to employee expected to conform, follow the herd and put on my happy face about it. It's one of the major reasons why I want to go it alone and get that business of mine started (though I'm under no illusions about how hard that's gonna be! It's easy to sit back and let the salary roll in each month.). Perhaps employment elsewhere would be better - I don't rightly know.

But I'm hesitating to take any big steps until we've been to Australia, had those "interviews" and know what the future may hold. For now I'm trying not to make anyone too p'd off - and putting on my happy face.