Stuff in my head today

No really profound blogging going on here (you might need to try someone else, quickly!). Just stuff circulating in the head.

* I don't get how folk can't care about the earth they're on, the one that is really responsible for the life they have. If you knew your fresh water was going to run out in 10 years, and that the maize crop is 50% lower than usual this year - leading to increased prices in everything as a domino effect takes place - surely you'd want to secure your own future by doing your bit to save what you've got, or improve what's around you, or provide for your needs as a self-sufficient human being? But then again, there seems to be a serious lack of logical thinking in the world these days, an "I don't care" attitude.

* I'm going to fill planting pots with baby tomato, basil and green pepper seeds, and stick them on my office window. Call it mini-farming if you will, but it's the perfect, sunny, sheltered spot - and staring at delicious organic foods instead of mindless technology does something for the soul...

* I wish I could stop dreaming for a few nights and just sleep. My dreams have been horrific and realistic lately. Night before last I hooked up with Marty Samson from Hillsong - and it went downhill from there as they filmed a new DVD. Last night I spent half an hour with eyes closed, semi-awake, convincing myself I was just dreaming about someone trying to get at a 3-year-old me, who had to push against the inside of the bathroom door with her back and all her might to prevent them coming in (doesn't help that the dog was pressed against my back at the same time!). Dreams about trips to strange coastal places that don't exist near here, dreams about people I used to know, dreams about everything under the sun. And all I want to do is simply rest.

* No, haven't heard back from potential date yet. Hope he checks his email, as I don't seem to have a number to call for him. If it doesn't work out, I'll either stay home and watch a non-kid-appropriate movie I've been offered on loan, or hook up with another single mom I haven't seen in ages, who always takes Wednesday nights off from the kids while ex babysits. (::update:: I have just heard back from him. He's not available. Oh well. I have the darndest luck with dates. The last date - many years ago - said he was available and then stood me up! :) Is it any wonder I've just left off dating completely?)

* I'm avoiding people here. I seriously no longer fit in. Every time they open their mouths with a "everyone thinks this" opinion, I want to shudder and run away. The sooner I can get out of here the better, and no-one actually knows how I feel.

* I'm going to buy a lotto ticket tomorrow. I don't do this regularly, and I'm sure it will be a waste of money, but I'm going to do it anyway. Someone's gotta win. But you can't win if you don't buy a ticket. Eternal hope of the semi-blank mind! :)

* I want my own house - not a renting-from-someone one. I want to plant fruit trees and vines that hang over the front fence, and put up a sign inviting passers-by to help themselves to fruit in season. I want to advertise a free jumping castle for the kids and do it every week, WITH free lemonade for the thirsty times - inviting their parents to come by and hang out, and bring something to throw on the fire for a meal if they so wish. I want a room to sit and think with my eyes closed, without the noise from another room intruding. I want my own private space in my bedroom - not sharing it with the homework desk, only clothes cupboard, computer and spare TV. I want a yard with a tree to sit under, and a room for my son that has a door and shelves and a cupboard for his stuff. I want less clutter and more serene space. (There are two marvellous houses for sale just down the road, but way outside any budget I could ever come up with on my own) Hence the lotto ticket...

* I just can't seem to get into work this week. There's stuff to do, plenty of it, but I can't get up the effort to complete anything. I've had spurts of hard work, and gotten a lot done in those times, then the apathy sets in again. Something to do with noise and a constant headache and dissatisfaction I think.

* I wonder if I could become a professional organizer on the side? I think I could. Always wanted to start something that organizes businesses - from the computer systems, storage of papers, layout and even the colours used in the place. I love sorting out other's spaces - but it doesn't often carry over into my own. Maybe a change in the weather, some Spring, will motivate me to do my house top-to-bottom.

* I'm pretty sure the local government could use a professional organizer to kick some butts and complete all the projects that seem to carry on for years without any noticeable progress...!

* I'm undecided on whether I'll go through with my teeth-straightening adventure or not. The quote is on its way by post, and of course the tooth bloke has urged me to get it done (his gain!), but I'm not sure I want to. It's got more to do with initial financial outlay and ongoing financial input than it does pain, discomfort or wire-toothed image. If I start pumping cash into a dental thing, I most certainly won't get my business launched in the time-frame I've set. And I'll delay what I want to do by at least another year - or two. Perhaps once I've got started and going on my "life upgrade" I can revisit this one?

* I desperately need inspiration for our meals. We're in a big old rut of 3 variations on a theme - and then copious amounts of bread. I need to stop buying leeks - they only go old and dry in the fridge without being used. I need to find a way to include more veggies - and in such a manner that my son will consume them with relish. Maybe I need a weekly menu plan to stick to, with enough new things to try that we'll experiment and keep/discard as we go. I should probably do some site-surfing for things we might actually eat. Gonna take some effort...

* I REALLY wish the neighbours would:
a) Stop cleaning their place at 11 at night
b) Stop getting up and shouting/talking to each other at 5:30 every morning
(I wish I had the balls to get up and tell them so)

* I think I'm going to take up meditation. As an experiment in sanity.

* I don't think I can do this anymore ("this" being any number of things on a rather long list - not necessarily the blog).