Faking it

One of my colleagues came up to me this morning to moan about certain aspects of our work-place - aspects that could potentially influence the job I do here.

But it's strange. I don't really care about it! I still haven't told anyone I'm in the market for a different job (I will hear tomorrow, latest, if I have it or not). I'm trying to pretend I care about the petty little issues, and mismanagement and all that stuff. But I don't. Even if this job doesn't come through I'm going to keep trying for another - and that means all those petty little issues can go jump in the lake, it's no skin off my back nor will I spend time worrying over them.

In the meantime though I have to fake it. Act like I'll still be here forever, like what happens at the end of this year will still be my concern. And in the meantime I'm pretty sure it won't be.

Strange, this living in 2 worlds. Acting wholly here, while my mind's moved on and is making to-do lists. Distancing myself mentally from the day-to-day millstones weighing down the rest of the folk.

I'm pretty confident I'll get this job. I still really, really want it. I can't wait to suprise everyone and hand in a month's notice... I'm kinda living with that hope, keeping me going through each work day as I tie up loose ends here (unofficially) and complete Big Jobs (unofficially).

I'm getting pretty good at faking it!