Sometimes I really, really doubt myself.
There I am, happily moseying along, planning my Big Business Idea - and wham! I hit a concrete wall of insecurity.
I know I've got the business sense to make numbers work, to make things happen. I know where my market is, I can see the gaps to fill, I have the skills to do so. But have I got the creativity? Have I thought this through properly, come up with a neat little unique angle that will hook people and keep them coming back for more, or am I just bumbling around in the dark, hoping things will work?
Now and then I think it's most definitely the latter! In the past few days I've come across so many cool "oh wow!" things, those snappy creative angles on products that make you wish you'd thought of them (but you know you NEVER would have, not in a million years). Like chopsticks that have a clothes-peg type end - you can easily manipulate them, grip your food, and release. Wow. Trawl through any magazine and check what makes your eyes pop, then look inwards and see that you could never hope to have that kind of creativity... How depressing! :)
And yet onward I go, planning and hoping and dreaming, and wondering if a dash of unique creativity will be accorded me before I launch this whole thing into the World. Sometimes I find that waiting brings the best angles - simply letting your mind work through a product name until it hits on the right one, or options for presentation until you get one that looks perfect. Rushing into things only leaves one wishing you hadn't.
But some days, like today, I feel I'm a grey cut-out in a world full of butterflies. That everyone else has the angle, the ideas, the awesome mind-space to make things happen, while I'm dull and boring and can't seem to clear enough brain-shelf space to store all the essentials, never mind the frilly bits. I get frustrated when I can't work out the basics, or learn the stuff I need to know to get launched.
And I think I know the solution to this whole dilemma.
I need to take time out to focus entirely on the one thing I want to do, without being distracted by everything else I need to do, and without comparing myself to the rest of humanity (especially the enviable parts). I need to work through an idea from one end to the other without interruption, exploring all the angles, countering any problems that pop up, cementing decisions instead of waffling around.
I haven't made that space in the week/day/hour to do this, I haven't had quiet and concentration and no distractions. I know I can't create creativity, but being overbusy certainly squashes what little I have.
I may never come up with the Next Big Thing. I have to accept that, then work with what I CAN do, what I DO have.
A definite work in progress. Kinda confusing at times, but progress.
(Has this been a bit on the rambling side? Yup - sorry. Written between a whole lot of other things going on, and I think I lost my train of thought after the first interruption...)
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