A new day dawns

It's weird - grief has yet to hit me. I think I grieved a long time ago, and for a long time too, once we knew that mom was not going to survive this final bout with cancer. I did my crying then - though I do tear up with each phone-call and email and message that comes in, just a little. I feel compelete peace and not heart-rending sadness. I'm more concerned with how dad is coping now than anything else. Perhaps all that will still hit home later on, perhaps I've already been dealing with it all along. The mom we knew "died" a month or more ago, slowly becoming a stranger, and we greived the little signs of her passing then, as each happened.

Life marches on. Time does not stop when someone dies, those who are alive continue to go about their daily routines. Doing the washing, cleaning the house, cooking meals, talking over Christmas plans.

My dad will be here next week, as will my grandfather and aunt. We've started to prepare for their visit, ensuring it will be as comfortable as possible under the circumstances, giving them peace, space and time to process their thoughts and emotions as we bury my mom here - at the very place my parents met. Later on, Jason and I will plant a tree in her memory, a living thing to mark her life well lived.

And still life marches on. The sun rises and sets, the rhythm of sleep and wakefulness continues, dishes pile up and get washed, floors accumulate dirt and are cleaned.

I know we are not the only ones who have lost family this weekend - a horrific bus accident claimed 21 lives yesterday, and the ever-rising holiday death toll on South African roads spreads ripples through family and friends. Our loss was expected, silently awaited. Others have to deal with a violent passing, images of broken bodies and a feeling that it shouldn't have been time.

But life yet marches on.

::update::
The news reports our road death toll since 1 December stands near 600 lives lost already. Mostly as a result of either drunkenness or tiredness on the part of drivers. Another item highlighted the plight of the aged - one man needing constant care locked up by his daughter-in-law on Friday so she could attend a party, and by Saturday afternoon she still hadn't returned. He is now in the care of an old age home, and criminal charges are being pressed.

For many life goes on. For some it doesn't. For others life is a hard and harsh place, where lonliness and rejection reign, highlighted all the more by other families gathering over this festive season, but not for them.

As peace and joy are encouraged, celebrations planned - spare a thought for those for whom this is a time of incredible sadness. And if you can, do something about it, festive season and beyond.