Book Fodder

Chatting to Red about writing stuff yesterday (over coffee and chocolate cake thingies), I started to wonder: if I wrote a book, what would I write about?

Novel? Nah, my imagination works, but not in the ways someone would want to read about. I like to be drawn into the stories others come up with, but I can't even tell a joke properly.

Short stories? They don't take as much imagination or effort to do, and I've written some. OK, I WROTE some a very long time ago. Like, high school long ago. Whether they're actually any good I wouldn't know - haven't looked at them in years.

Poetry? Wrote a few of those too. High school again. I think I've lost the poetry gene - or simply no longer have time to indulge in sufficient angst.

Memoirs? Of what? My life hasn't been spectacularly interesting. Someone once said I should write on my single parenting experience, but that's also been a bit dull. No exciting break-ups or messy divorces, no unending custody battles or off-the-rails children (though with the teen years approaching, I may have something to write about soon!).

I could haul out my old diaries, the ones I kept just after school. Until my mom discovered them, read one, and I suddenly lost interest in keeping a record of all my doings! There's some stuff in there, but not book-worthy.

BUT - what if I wrote a Fake Diary? Where, instead of writing down what had happened each day, I wrote what I WISHED had happened? Now that could be fun!

"Today I killed my boss. I sneaked up behind him while he was in a meeting and stabbed and stabbed with a big kitchen knife until the walls were bloody."

"I woke up sexy this morning. Perfect figure, face that would slay men at a thousand paces, and the ability to wear stilletos without falling over."

"I decided to spend the entire week in bed. I've hired some hunky slaves to bring me food and attend to my every need."

"I discovered this morning how to make colleages spontaneously combust."

"All my ex-boyfriends have turned out fat and alone, bald and slimy."

Yeah, I think that could work!