Temptation

I was faced with a Big Temptation this morning. To do something I know is potentially utterly and dreadfully wrong, but which would give a few moments pleasure that might almost make it worth it. I resisted - knowing the outcome and potential fallout would send ripples far beyond my control and be much worse than any pleasure attained.

I think I'm growing up. Or maturing. Or just learning that I can't go around doing what I please without worrying about consequence.

Years ago I had a "stuff life" attutide, doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Not particularly worried about consequences in my own life, or being caught out, or how it might affect others. I shunned responsibility for my actions, living in the moment.

Until I became a mom. And took stock of where I was headed, what I was doing. Realized that I could no longer coast through life, and that this time there was no dumping responsibility and fleeing.

It brought me up short and give me a slap upside the head to realize that my smallest action or attitude would have lasting repercussions. I cleaned up my act, got myself together, and went forth! Well, generally speaking - every now and then I still fail. As we all do.

This morning though I'm quite proud of myself for leaving well alone. I've come a long way in the past few years. I actually feel strong inside now!