Opportunity

I had a truly terrible day - one in which I felt trapped in a situation I didn't choose, with no way out. Beaten down in soul and spirit, made to feel worthless, less than human. I spent at least half an hour crying hopelessly in my car before I could face the grocery shopping.

But as dusk settles in, the hadedas calling, the guineafowl cackling and the olive thrush singing his bedding-down song, I find my perspective changed.

Instead of oppression, I've realized that what I have is Opportunity.

In every bad situation, one is faced with a choice. How do I go forward? Where to from here? What do I really want to happen? It's easy to knee-jerk react and indulge in thoughts of revenge, payback and walking away. It's a lot harder to be still, calm the mind and think. Properly think.

But there are things that have helped my perspective down the right path tonight. I haven't stopped by Treehugger in ages, and while trawling through what I've missed I found this site: Dropping Knowledge. It's a huge event happening tomorrow - and I haven't even heard of it! 100 questions asked of 112 influential people, and a chance to start a global communication. Some of those questions have made me stop short and dig deep.

While on Treehugger I found their "green jobs" section (and remembered that I almost changed my Food Tech diploma to Conservation...). Mostly USA-based, but linked to a UK organization that offers environmental positions worldwide. I realized there are opportunities out there that I haven't considered - chances to better the world around me and my own life. This blog is green for a reason...

(One of the ideas we've had with unschooling fits into this scenario - having the time available to get more involved in our planet and some of the many organizations out there. There are so many opportunities for volunteers to help, all over the world. Not having a school schedule to stick to, school fees to pay - both of us will have a chance to work for change. We're both passionate about nature, and the kid is growing up with more green knowledge than I did.)

Yes, I could bemoan my awful day and go back to work all glum next week, continue to feel trapped and hopeless. OR I could see this as a gap in the opening door, a start in a new and better direction where my passions, skills and energies are chanelled toward the best place for me to be, one where my eco-concience is clear and I know I matter.

I've still got a lot of thinking to do this weekend. I'm so exhausted at the moment that I can't really process all I need to. My brain simply won't function at the level I require. So I'll take the quiet time these two days afford to focus on what my heart is trying to say. To find the Opportunity that is patiently knocking, waiting for the right timing and my listening ear.