A World of Weight-Loss

I don't know why people struggle to lose weight, pay thousands for pills and potions and arb pieces of equipment. I've found a really easy way to do it - well, a couple of them. And they're free! Presenting my Secrets to Weight-Loss:

* Caterer's Diet: Cook lots of fancy foods for a few hundred people, a few times a week. Forget to eat.

* Winter Woolies Diet: Get sick - flu or any other germ that requires bedrest will do. Forget to eat.

* Computer Diet: Get blogging, surfing, updating websites and chatting. Forget to eat.

* Landy-Fixing Diet: Get under your Land Rover, get your hands greasy, get side-tracked (start one task but end up doing a whole lot more). Forget to eat.

* Workers Diet: Start a long complicated task. Lose track of time. Forget to eat.

* Weekend Couch Potato Diet: Spend the weekend watching movies, or lying around the house. Forget to eat.

See - it's easy! Within a week you'll notice your clothes are a whole lot looser.

WARNING: not recommended for those who like to totter around in high heels. May cause dizziness and associated scraped knees.