Contemplative

As the week winds down and the sun sinks (we assume, as we haven't seen it through fog much today - but it is getting a bit darker), I have to wonder where the week went. It's flown by so quickly! I've barely had time to breathe between work, a spot of power-walking and some pretty strange experiences.

But one needs time to process, and that's what Friday nights are for. Work has stopped, the weekend barely begun. It's the perfect opportunity to take a bit of time out and still what's churning inside.

I've found my brain in turmoil this week, processing options and dreams and many different thoughts that haven't been - couldn't be - blogged. I've found myself laughing at some pretty hilarious stuff and very funny people. I've rediscovered muscles and tendons that didn't think they were going to be pushed quite so hard. I've made a few new friends and re-made some old ones. I've made mistakes, and I've made progress. I've cemented a few goals, and continue to test the waters on others. I've dragged my dad into the 21st Century - he's Skyped at last! :-) - and discovered one of my brothers is out there too. I've rescued a baby bird and fiddled in a Landy. I've slept very little, but also slept solidly (more the latter than the former, thankfully). I've reached a few conclusions and realizations, and opened my heart a tiny bit more to the world at large. I've learnt a little, added a little to my life, and given up some clingy bits of the past that needed chucking out. I've eaten well - but not yet well enough. I'm still struggling with finances, with tiny nagging fears, with a habit of self-doubt, with occasional frustration. Mostly I've been happy this week, a deep joy that flows out and covers up minor irritations.

Am I different from what I was a week ago? No doubt - every day I change a little. Am I better? Perhaps. Is there room for improvement next week? Always.

Mainly I'm still me. I haven't sold my soul for the benefit of anyone else. I haven't let my essence be walked over. It's been a very good week all told.