Each to his own

A mantra that has made a huge difference in my life in recent years is the quote "Follow your path - and let people talk". I'm not even sure where it comes from, it was one of those things discovered online that just stuck - literally, cos I printed it out and put it on my wall at work.

Once I'd let it sink in, I realized just how freeing it is not to spend your life constantly worried about what people are saying or thinking about you, whether to your face or behind your back. I had previously spent so much emotional energy and time on trying to keep everyone happy that I had little left to devote to the things that really mattered to me. Bending over backwards so people will like you can get you tied into knots!

There is, of course, a need to be considerate of others - to live as a decent human being, not creating strife or trouble in other's lives. But beyond that, it's simply silly to let other people determine the path that you should walk in life. Which is where being a bit unconventional also kicks in. If you're worried about stepping outside of bounds, you'll never push the comfort zone limits, find amazing new ground or learn to fly.

I live in an environment where it's easy to be muddled up with everyone's lives - easy to gossip or nitpick or live in each other's pockets. But I've learnt to take a mental step back, and realized that I don't really have to live up to anyone's expectations than my own. Very freeing stuff! :-) At the same time, I'm making sure I "do unto others", and completely leave off meddling in anyone else's lives or judging how they live too. It's only right to give them the same treatment I expect for myself.

This weekend I ran into a situation where someone wanted me to know what had been said "behind my back". In the past it would have bugged me no end, I would have wanted to know what everyone's thought processes were, and tried to keep everyone happy even if it was at my own expense. But this time - not! I was able to let it go without it settling in my head and bugging me. I've realized I can't control what others think about me - I can only control what I do.

And in the end - isn't that really all that matters?