Ebb & Flow

I've noticed a pattern over the years as a single mom. Sometimes I'm a brilliant mother - and then there will come a patch where I'm not so brilliant a mother. I've hit one of those lately. And it's bugging me.

This is where the second parent usually steps in and takes over for a while, where the second parent gets to be the go-to, the run-around, the care-giver. I've seen it in many married couples, a bit like a relay race. You do what you're good at, and where you're not measuring up the other one shines.

But it's just me. And there are times I simply don't shine. Not a single reflective surface - just me trying to care for me for a little bit before I lose myself. And doing the bare minimum of parenting, merely keeping things ticking over. Feed, clean, get off to school, make sure homework is done, check that teeth are brushed, sort out weekends, spend some time each day together and then hug goodnight. Nothing outstanding, nothing amazing - just routine.

At times like this I know I shouldn't feel like a failure. It's just the ebb and flow, it happens. But somehow I do.