Choice

Sometimes the DailyOm appears to read my mind - and hits right home to what I've been thinking about. Here's today's:

Shedding Light On Ourselves
Parts That Don’t Want To Heal

In almost every case, we know what is best for us in our lives, from the relationships we create to the food we eat. Still, somewhat mysteriously, it is often difficult to make the right choices for ourselves. We find ourselves hanging out with someone who leaves us feeling drained or choosing to eat fast food over a salad. We go through phases where we stop doing yoga or taking vitamins, even though we feel so much better when we do. Often we have no idea why we continue to make the less enlightened choice, but it is important that we inquire into ourselves to find out.

When we choose that which is not best for us, the truth can be that there is a deep seated part of us that does not want to heal. We may say it’s because we don’t have the time or the energy or the resources, but the real truth is that when we don’t take care of ourselves we are falling prey to self-sabotage. Self-sabotage happens unconsciously, which is why it’s so difficult to see that we are doing it. The important thing to realize is that this very part of us that resists our healing is the part that most needs our attention and love. Even as it appears to be working against us, if we can simply bring it into the light of our consciousness, it can become our greatest ally. It carries the information we need to move to the next level in our healing process.

When we recognize that we are not making healthy choices, we might even say out loud, “I am not taking care of myself.” Sometimes this is the jolt we need to wake up to what is actually happening. Next we can sit ourselves down in meditation, with a journal, or with a trusted friend to explore the matter more thoroughly. Just shining the light of our awareness on the source of our resistance is sometimes enough to dispel its power. At other times, further effort is required. Either way, we need not fear these parts that do not want to heal. We only need to take them under our wing and bring them with us into the light.

OK, so it's a little "airy fairy" in places, as only the DailyOM can be. D/O assumes we all do yoga and are at one with the planet (which some of us aren't exactly yet).

The thing is this. I haven't been looking after myself. I've recently almost given up eating thanks to various factors. I'm on "minimal rations" (kinda down to one meal a day) without even really intending to be - and they're not the best of rations. Yes, it's somewhat addictive to watch the reflection in the mirror shrinking, but I'm actually not doing it on purpose.

I haven't been getting enough exercise, I haven't been drinking enough water. And all this I know - but to get a kick up the butt as reminder does help.

Today's DailyOm has me wondering if there's something going on deep down that's preventing me from treating myself to the best, some subconcious sabotaging of me. Or if I just have so much on my plate that looking after myself has simply flown out the window.