10 Steps to Unproductivity

There are many motivational blogs and websites out there. A good few of them are all about paring down tasks, increasing productivity, Getting Things Done and powering through life.

Don't you think it's time for the opposite kind of advice? After all - way too many folk are stressed out by the endless push to be more, do more, work harder and smarter. Sometimes you need to veg and be completely unproductive for your own sanity!

So here's my guide to procrastination, to anti-motivation and to doing not much of anything at all:

1. The world is not going to end. All too often we push ourselves beyond our limits, thinking everything will collapse if we don't perform this task or push on to the next one. Well here's a newsflash. Unless you're the bloke that prevents a maniac from Pressing The Big Red Button and eliminating us all as a full time job, the world will still be here tomorrow. Take a chill-pill. Your mental absence from the collective conciousness will not be noticed for a day - you're really not that important.

2. This too shall pass. Got that sudden urge to work? Don't. Just like you can get a second wind if you push yourself hard enough, you can get rid of that feeling that you must be doing something. Imagine you're a plant - all you have to do is sit there and exchange one life-giving gas for another. In your case that's oxygen in, carbon monoxide out. No other gasses please, at least not in public.

3. Go forth, young man. Get out of your usual productive environment. Away from the computer screen, the things standing around screaming for attention, the day-to-day stuff that stares you in the face. Go to that coffee shop you've been eyeing, go sit in a park, go to the library (when last did you do that?!), go anywhere - just get a change of scene and a bit of distraction.

4. Clean your nest. OK, this may seem like non-procrastination and hard work, but remember those school days when you were supposed to be studying? When suddenly your room really needed a clean instead? When ANYTHING was better than hitting the books? Do it - organize, chuck out, scrub down, clean up. But only if you're not supposed to be doing it.

5. Zombie mode. It's been said that a 45 minute power nap will revitalize you and get you back on the job with new energy. But why take only 45 minutes when you can top up your tank completely? Doze in a hammock while the summer cicadas zing around you. Nap on the couch with 5-day cricket as a background noise (or the F1...). Close the curtains, close the door, and snooze in a darkened cave. I know you can never really catch up on missed sleep - but hey, sometimes you just need to rest until you're done.

6. Munchies. Remember the slow food movement? Now think of long warm-day lunches at a trestle table set up under the trees with everyone who's important to you. Attractive thought, right? It may not be summer where you are, but it's not often you get to take time over some really good food - making it, eating it, actually enjoying it. Haul out the recipe book and try something new. Grab a foodie mag and find a picture that appeals to you, then make it. Don't just wolf down what your body requires to survive - craft a meal and savour it. Or simply bake some cookies from scratch (yes, using flour, sugar, eggs, butter and not a ready-made mix - come on, you can do it!) if you're a kitchen-phobe.

7. Play date. Warning - if you're going to sit in a kid's playground all day and look like a stalker, you'll get arrested. But when last did you just play? Chuck in the perception that you're too old to make mud pies and go take your 4x4 through a puddle (without it being a grown-up outing). Or take your feet through one if it's raining - go barefoot and forget the umbrella, it's just water. Paint something other than the house. Skip stones on a lake - if you still remember how. Go surfing, go diving, go tourist and see your area in a new light. Go to the circus, go to a fun park and do the rides. Steal your kid's Lego and build stuff or hit the hobby shop and treat yourself to a Mecano set. Turn the living room into a race course for those matchbox cars you still have from when you were a kid - or into a maze of dominoes. Dig out the Scrabble, a yoyo, anything! Forget being a serious adult and just play.

8. NOW. You know that stuff that's on your do-one-day list? There's no time like the present. You've chucked in the daily grind for a bit, so now there's plenty of time to get to it. No more excuses - tick at least one thing off before you even consider taking up your routine again.

9. Fart around. Nope, not the gas kind - the pottering kind. Do random stuff without any clear plan. Do whatever catches your eye, without a time limit.

10. Empty-headed. Spend a day doing mindless activities. Watch daytime TV (how more mindless can one get!). Go to the movies - let other people do your thinking for you. Go zen and meditate or attend a yoga class. Just don't think. Believe me, this one takes practice! But being blonde I have a headstart... ;-)

There you go - 10 steps to doing very little today. How about it? Up for the challenge?

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