I'm rapidly reaching a point where I'm going to have to make some big, tough decisions. I'm living a very fragmented life right now - my attention, time and cash split into too many partitions, some of which simply are no longer viable options.
I'm unable to give anything my full attention - there's always something else lurking, tapping me on the shoulder. And there's way too much that can't be done between other jobs, that needs my full attention without interruption, that needs time on MY schedule - not anyone else's.
It's unsustainable. It's draining. It's frustrating. It's not working - and I can't go on like this much longer.
So I've been mentally tallying the pros and cons and prioritizing where my resources across the board need to be. It's a work in progress - done between all these other things trying to tear at my attention. It's not at all easy - and it's going to need a lot of very careful consideration.
I'm just realizing more and more that if I am to make a success of any of the things I want to, something's gotta go. Even if it means months more of very hard work, of lack of sleep, of giving up and cutting back and paring down - it will be worth it in the long run. I just need to keep my eyes on the goal, structure everything I do around that one purpose - and go for it.
My gut's telling me what to do. I just hope it works.