FNB - take...5...?

Today I braved yet another trip to FNB to attempt to open an account. 

Tries 1 and 2 were direct at branches, the 3rd and 4th attempts were online and phone registration.

This time I went armed with a "go see this chick at this branch" recommendation, which I duly did.  The Strand branch falls over themselves when you walk in the door - especially as a potential business client.  You're seated in "business class" and updated every few seconds as to where Liza is (she was out when I arrived) and that she's "almost back".  Which took about half an hour,  but at least there was aircon as opposed to what was going on outside.

Yet again I regretted not hauling my emergency Reader's Digest Condensed Book along with me, but nevertheless.

I finally got to see Liza, hauled out the documents... this time I had the latest proof of residence in the form of the newest phone bill and its receipt.  Unfortunately for me, we requested a few months to be switched over to the new electronic version that arrives by email, although the street address is listed on the bill.  More unfortunately, it now seems this is not proof of residence!

Even more unfortunately, this is the ONLY bill that doesn't go to the P O Box address, and I don't live at the post office!!!

After emphatically stating this fact to her, Liza went running off to find a superior to try get this one past. 

Bear in mind that ABSA opened an account at face value with a phonebill that was past the 3 month limit by mere days, and which FNB then rejected a few minutes later - telling me that I need to bring in a new one, even if it's the electronic version.

One more half hour of waiting later, Liza was back.  Nope, no go.

Another FNB fail.  Apparently I now need to go get my entire lease agreement for this address, all 16 pages, with each initialled, and the agreement signed, and take that to them as proof that I'm not living under the N2 bridge.  In other words, try a SIXTH time to open the most basic of business accounts.

This is getting a little tiring.  All I want to do is make life easier for my clients - let them pay their invoices FNB to FNB.  Instead it seems FNB would much rather tie me up in red tape while cash continues to leave the accounts of their clients (and thus THEIR account) to other banks.

Make sense?

Nope, I didn't think so.

Sigh.

I've got a chockablock schedule for the next little while and don't have time to go sit at banks.  I'll be lucky if I finally get an account opened before the next statement run on the 25th.