Just Wait

I'm the impatient sort. I'm an A-type personality - goal-orientated, more interested in "getting there" and setting a record doing so than interested in the journey, though I do enjoy the scenery now and then.

I'm the same when it comes to my spiritual journey. I want to know where I'm headed, what will happen on the way and when I'll get there. But unfortunately that kind of thing is rarely in God's plan!

I find myself like a kid on one of those kid-leash things, or a dog out on a walk perhaps. Rushing in one direction after something that takes your fancy, but then brought up short, so you try another direction, and get brought up short yet again. All the time you're gradually going the direction your Director is taking you.

I've had my mind blown and learnt so many things in the past year, and find myself wanting to try them all. I start off in the alt.worship direction, and God pulls me up short. I think about house-church, and again God puts the brakes on. I want to lead worship, but God says not yet. I've tried rushing here and there - and each time there's a tug on the leash to bring me back to what seems the exact same place. Yet subtley we're (God and me) heading toward where He's aiming us.

In spite of the millions of options, ideas and dreams pulling me here and there, I get the feeling God just wants me to wait. Just wait and let Him lead. Just wait and learn and listen. Just wait and let Him bring me to where He wants me.

I'm convinced He has lots of stuff He wants me to do. I can't wait to get at it. I'm champing at the bit! And yet He's holding me back. Keeping me where I'm at so I can learn and grow. Just making me wait to fulfil His purpose in my life.

It's hard, but I think I'm learning to wait.