Sabbath thoughts

I don't often blog over the weekend, simply because I'm only online at work. But work is a mere 2 minute walk from my front door, so here I am, to record a few thoughts.

As per my usual Sabbath routine, I've been reading a few folk's views and articles, on emerging church, being church, rethinking religion, God, life and just about everything else. I've found some pretty profound stuff today, and have spent a lot of time in thought.

One thing that struck me was written by the guy who started TheOoze. As a former pastor, he mentions that he once went on a silent retreat and found he was angry with God. That he had yet to really let Jesus in. And once he did, Jesus just sat by him and held him through his pain. He mentions the need for more silent retreats as a way to just listen to God.

Recently I blogged on how I was having trouble listening to God, hearing His voice. I think now that it's because my life is constantly full of noise. There's no real time or place for complete and utter silence. I tried to sit and listen last week, but with dogs barking at people passing, with the same passing people wanting to say hi as they passed, with a son calling attention to something every few seconds, with life happening - it's HARD to find that stillness and quiet to just be and listen.

It would be difficult for me as a single mom to go off on a three-day retreat and take the time to be silent. But I know that if I truly want to hear God's voice in my heart, mind, head and life, I need to make more still places in the rush and busyness and noise. I need to actively create these places, put a "do not disturb" on the door, sound-proof the walls and get to that place of being still.

I sometimes get this image of a child asked to wait. It's hard for a kid to sit still and shut up for a long time, especially when they're used to doing stuff, keeping busy, being entertained. In fact it's basically impossible!

Sometimes I feel like a kid who can't sit still. Even when I'm physically still, there's still a whirlwind of thoughts and stuff going on in my head that I can't seem to quiet.

It's going to take a lot of effort to truly learn to be still, to be quiet, to shut out the outside and the inside and just wait. It's going to take sacrifices of time and energy to find a place in the day where there is silence. I may have to do some really early or really late listening - and I DO love my sleep! :) I may need to ask for space and time-out from my son, and shut the dogs away. I may need to physically take myself out of my everyday environment.

It's something I'm going to be doing a lot of pondering on. And it's something I can no longer do without. I have a feeling our time left on this earth is way too short not to do our best NOW to get into God-space, before it's too late.