Of Lent

I never knew about Lent, or the seasons of the church, growing up. It wasn't part of my church's tradition at all. This year it's something new to me. I've read with interest and longing (for a same, deep experience of God) the practices and thoughts of many. One has finally struck through - just a phrase that turned on a light.

I wrote a while ago that I've been feeling hollow - there's nothing inside me, no emotion, no dreams, no God it seems. At church last night I was still hollow. I begged for a blessing, for a revelation of God's presence, for SOMETHING.... anything. There was nothing. I stood, I sang, I sat, I listened, I bowed. Yet I remained empty. Detached. Disconnected.

And yet, as this Lent season progresses, perhaps this is precisely where I need to be. An empty vessel, clean of completely everything, ready to be filled. Although I know ritual in itself is no good, I want to try, to explore the practices of Lent, and in so doing perhaps find fulfillment, filling, God in me again.