Another option...?

Last night's sermon came out of nowhere and hit the church broadside. The still-studying-theology youth leader preached on compassion, kindness, community (from Col 3:12-14), and brought in aspects of the church mentioned in Acts 2. WAY different from the messages that have been shared there for a very long time.

He confessed he'd almost not preached on this, but that throughout the week things had happened to confirm he must. He was hesitant to speak what God had laid on his heart for this particular group - admitting that he didn't know if there were problems in these areas or not, but that God had impressed him to speak on these. So many ideas shared, so much direct talk to a church that can be too comfortable where it's at - a very rich church compared to the community around them, filled with doing many good works in their spare time.

It echoed everything I've been thinking about in recent months, everything I've read, talked about, or had as influence in my decisions.

And as I sat listening, another option to the stay/leave thing came bursting in. The "stay and share what you've learned, help them grow" option. A way to not just turn my back on a group, but to help them reach toward something they're only just beginning to glimpse.

Now I know Eddie, Bruce and George are likely going to jump right in here and condemn me for wavering! :) Perhaps stepping back completely IS the right way to go. Perhaps it isn't.

Maybe I need a time of seperation, growth and learning before I am ready to share and help. A time to try what's being preached and come back showing that it can be done.

It's just a thought right now. Going to take a lot more pondering to discover if it's valid, or just a fleeting idea.

::update::
I think what I'm trying to put into words is the longing to help others along toward a goal I see in the distance, of a deeper and more real Christ-follower experience. Not an unwillingness to move into something harder but better.

If I leave them completely to find my own way, how can I help them, how can I share? You'd never listen to a stranger who came up to you and said "hey - you could be in a better place!", but you would a friend.

I've been there for 2 years, and although I haven't managed to make many friends, the ones I have made are folk that could influence or help others, spread the word. (But I may also face the wrath of the institution for my out-of-the-ordinary views of body life.)

Not that I'm on a one-person crusade. My heart just latched on to that which I'm hungering for in the message last night. If others feel that yearning for more, then why not use this opportunity to work together, instead of struggling as one little flame against the storm?

This was just a tiny aspect of the bigger picture, but it's a place to start. "The greatest of these is love" and by truly loving, being compassionate, it could all change.

But if all the "amen's" were just the usual Sunday religious experience, and were forgotten by Monday, if all the great ideals proclaimed are never acted on...

...then I WILL go out alone to find what God has planned for me.

Oh Lord, give me wisdom to discern what you want, to see where You're moving and where we're not!