Boys to Men

So we were watching Tracker last weekend. An episode where the villian breeds inner poison that he has to get rid of by having sex at least once a day by a certain time with a woman, who then dies a horrible death. (Which was not apparent when we started watching, and hit me by surprise later on, a bit too late...) And my soon-to-be-11 son said "Sex once a day!" - with surprise... I realized that he actually doesn't know that much about sex. And that I need to get down to a bit more education. Puberty happens. And happens soon. I learned a lot from my friends early on in school - his friends don't seem to discuss it (I asked, he said they don't, I have to assume it's true from some of the things he's asked me).

But here's the rub. What do I know about how boy's bodies work? How am I supposed to tell him what changes he's going through, will be going through, if I know basically nothing about it? I can't just haul in an uncle to sit him down and share the facts of life. His uncles don't get that much time with him and it would be a very contrived conversation! I could hardly shove a book his direction and say "read this".

I know all about girls. I can tell him a load about that! But it ain't going to help him much right now. And (surprisingly perhaps) I don't know a lot about sex. Yeah, I know how it happens - I'm not THAT blonde. But intimacy and respect and sex saved for marriage, sex as part of forever love, well I'm lacking in those areas in practical knowledge/experience. How am I supposed to teach what I don't know?

And what about the other aspects of manhood?

This is just one of those things where single parents seriously miss out. Single dads probably have just as tough a time with their daughters.

Which kinda puts even more pressure on me to not only do some serious learning, but to find (or create) that close-knit community (relational "church"?) of trust and love, in which men are mentors to boys, women are mentors to girls. Where the young learn from the old, parents learn from each other and those who have done this before. Where boys become men with the best of role models to follow.

Ideal world? Perhaps. But I know it's out there. Somewhere.

(Alternatively, I'm gonna have to find a husband.)