Family time

I realized once again this weekend how little time my son and I actually spend together. In the mornings he's barely woken up before he's eaten, dressed and out the door to school (starts at 7:30 every morning). Lunchtimes are rushed - I go home, cook, eat, and get back to work within an hour, sometimes only seeing him a few minutes before I dash off. When I get home from work he's watching the last cartoon of the day, then disappears to play with friends while I make supper. After we eat (no table, so it's in front of the TV), it's homework, bath, bed. Some nights he gets it done in time for me to read at bedtime, some nights he doesn't. Most nights all I want to do is say goodnight and go to bed myself.

Weekends aren't much better - we both often need a break after a day or two cooped up in rainy weather together, and he usually disappears to his friend's place until the sun goes down. Friday night is "talk night", a time we just sit and talk with the TV off, nothing to distract us - unless he gets a bee in his bonnet and wants to create something on the computer or paper, in which case he toddles off to the bedroom and leaves me in the lounge exhausted, half asleep after the week's rush.

This weekend was no different. Although we didn't see a lot of each other, when we did we were either eating or watching something on TV. And by Sunday night I was irritable and he was hungry (he refused to eat the curry I made for lunch, and I wasn't going to make him anything else). It was all we could do to get through the evening and into bed.

There's a lot I want to talk to him about, but it's not things you can bring up in passing. There's a lot he probably has to say to me too, but doesn't get the chance. Our "schedules" collide and leave us spinning off in a different direction each time.

But he's growing up. Pretty soon it will be uncool to talk to mom, or he'll be going through teen angst or something. And the moment will have passed. We will have missed out on communicating and just being together. I will have missed the times to guide him properly toward being a good adult and I would have gone back on my promise to do my darndest to bring him up with everything I have. Most days I barely have enough to go around... At the end of the day I'm done in, but I can't think of anything that did it.

We need less clutter in our home and lives. We need to get out of our rut and go do fun stuff more - provided there's cash to do so (a biggie!). We need to have people over and make new friends. We need to turn off the TV and listen, work together and play together. We need more hours in the day. There's a lot I want to teach him - cooking, living, being, relating. There's a lot I need to remember how to do myself before I can.

Something's gotta change. Something's gotta give. Soon. Before it's too late.