Raising Kids

When I was growing up, family meals in the evening and family worship were the two things that would NEVER be left out of the day.

My dad spent most of his day rushing here and there as a young pastor. Mom stayed home with us three kids up until we were in school - and then went into teaching. But without fail, all rushing and activity would stop at supper time. We'd gather around the table, eat, then have family worship. Mom always came up with creative stuff to do and learn. A lot of our pre-school education was spent out in nature, flat on our bellies with a magnifying glass in hand, and worship tended to follow suit, themed around the wonders of God's creation.

8 years ago they moved to Australia - but right up to their leaving, family meals and family worship were practiced day in and day out.

And then us kids were left on our own. And in my household both of these fell away almost immediately. Our flat is too small for a table to eat at, and somehow the nightly routine of eating and worship got lost. (Though I still have day-dreams of big family gatherings over an extended meal at a long table under summer trees...)

When my mom's around, she gathers my son for a quick prayer or Bible reading at night. She hints (rather strongly) that family worship should be something I don't compromise on. She's probably right. I don't think my son knows half the Bible stories I grew up hearing, and perhaps I've more than neglected that aspect of his growth.

But last night he was ill. He spent much of the afternoon in bed, and early in the evening, out of the blue, insisted we do a family worship. He has the Kid's Bible, which not only has kid-friendly language, but mini-studies and thoughts scattered here and there. We had a quick reading and prayer.

However the big surprise came later on. He started reading his Bible on his own, starting with Genesis, and spent about half and hour doing so! This from a kid whose nose is usually stuck in a Yu-Gi-Oh mag or Asterix & Obelix comic while in bed!

It got me wondering if there is a type of "latent spirituality" in our kids, a desire for God that takes over when we fail to instill it, a need to learn and connect when we fail to provide that. When us adults forgo the God-stuff, the stones and the children cry out.

I've been comparing myself to my son at that age recently. I got baptized at age 12 (baptism by emersion in our church, though babies are dedicated too), as did many of my friends. I seem to have been more "spiritual" then than my son is - or was I? A few years later I was sleeping around, drinking myself into semi-conciousness and putting up a front that said I was OK. I'm almost expecting my son to go wild too, like his errant mom. But what if he is completely different? What if my being a "lax" parent now means he doesn't go off the deep end later, but rather turns completely to God in a real way, the way I've seen a couple of amazing youth do?

I do know that we are a lot more relaxed about church and spiritual stuff than my parents were - he's learnt that it's OK to not go to church, and that if someone believes differently from you that's OK too. He accepts that you get conservative folk and you get way-liberal folk, and that we have the right to choose what we belive and how we live it out, without condemning someone who chooses differently. And THAT I'm proud of.

I don't know what the future holds. I can't even accurately speculate how the teen years will go (though he does know if he dyes his hair blue I'm shaving my head - and if there are piercings involved then his mom gets her belly-ring!). I don't know if I've given him enough firm ground to stand on, or if he'll turn away from the little I seem to have given, run off toward self-destruction.

Isn't parenting just like rolling a dice some days? :)