Reality and Dreams

Have you ever noticed how dreams can affect how you look at people? Let's say you have a dream that someone insults you - and for the next few days every time that person passes, you get these negative feelings about them, even though they truly have done nothing wrong!

I dreamt once again last night about that ex of mine, the chef guy. It was a nice dream - we not only got along, but we got involved and were completely happy.

Reality is that I have no idea what he thinks of me right now. His last impression of me was not good - he called me some very hurtful names and sniggered at me, looking down on me for seeking relationships from a sense of lonliness and getting dumped time after time. In the meantime he was dating a tall, slim girl who he worshipped, and constantly compared me to her - I was the slut and she was the angel, basically.

I have no idea if that has changed, or if he still considers me a low-down, bad person. And no, I haven't heard back from him after sending that package off.

It's interesting how our perceptions of what we think people think of us colour the way we treat them, and the way we see ourselves. If I think people see me as incompetent, I'll feel incompetent and probably start acting it too. If I think people see me as outgoing, I'll be outgoing and confident.

One has to wonder where the real reality really is (get your tongue around that one!:) ).

Hey, ever watched yourself talk on video or heard your voice on a tape recorder? I know I've wondered, "Is that how people hear me and see me?" I hear myself differently and I have another image in my head of what I look like, how I act. For instance, I've been told that I talk really fast, that sometimes it's hard for people to understand me. It stems from a deep-seated perception that I don't have anything worth hearing to say, so if I say something I'd better say it quickly so that those who have something worth listening to can get their chance. To me though, I talk slowly and clearly. Until I have to record a message on my office answering machine, play it back and realize just how quickly I run through the words!

Dreams can colour how we see ourselves too. A good one can bouy us up, a bad one drag us down into the dumps. I often feel things while dreaming that I don't while awake - emotions that I've tried to suppress or cut off from my wide-awake life, in order to "protect" myself. I'm surprised that they're still there, in my dreams. That they sometimes last into the first few waking moments before being pushed under once more.

One wonders if what we think of as reality is, after all, just in our heads.