Facts of Life

1. I will never be an Idol. Even if I were not too old to enter, there is no way in hell I'd submit myself to either the 4 judges, or the scrutiny of millions of other folk - and I don't want the "worst singer" award. Some of last night's initial entries in the new season were BAAAADDDD! And if I should ever try to enter, in a moment of sheer madness, will someone kindly throw me off the tallest building they can find? Thank you.

2. I will never be Miss South Africa either. Not only am I way too old, but I'm ugly too. And my thighs wobble. And there's no way I'm walking in front of millions in my bikini. I'm not even going to try and enter the Mrs South Africa. For many of the same reasons. And because they don't have a "best wobbly thighs" category.

3. I may make Star Maker Story. Or Extreme Makeover. But I don't think I'd like to have plastic surgery. Not that it scares me, it's just that I don't want to become a clone - the "perfect" smile, etc. As wobbly as my thighs can be, they're me and mine. And there's no telling what plastic surgery will make you look like in 50 years.

4. I love dark choc. Yes I do! I ate almost an entire bar of it this weekend. And you know what? There's scientific proof that 50g (half a normal bar) per day is darned good for you. Here's to research!

5. It's lunchtime. And I'm going home to eat pasta.