Standing, looking

Finally got a chance to browse the blogs for the first time in a week this morning (and then work took over again...darn). And I've come to the conclusion that I may be stuck in a no-forward-movement place.

Let me explain.

I stepped out of church as an organization so that I could Be church as an individual. I don't think I'm doing a very good job of it. All I'm doing is spouting forth on blogs and to those who will listen (sometimes to those who won't), and sitting reading/pondering.

I'm not really living it, if I'm totally honest with myself.

I think I'm too scared to actually get into the "dirty" places - you know, feeding the hungry, living alongside the ignored, moving in to where the people are at and making a difference. I almost feel I don't know how - and use that as an excuse not to even try.

On the flip side of the coin, I can't give what I don't have. And I really don't have a lot inside that can flow out right now.

So I find myself standing, looking, watching others live the Life. And I'm too scared to put a toe in the water.

Hypocrite.