Back and Forth

Funny how just when you think you can head in one direction, you find out you have to go in another. The kid and I are still vascillating about the whole schooling thing. He does want to try high school for a year - but can't make up his mind if that's a definite. In the meantime I have to either pay a deposit, or ask them to hold the application for a year...

Schooling affects some of the other big changes I'm aiming for. And of course has an impact on finances - a BIG impact. That has a knock-on effect on everything else!

Today it feels a bit like I'm balancing on a tightrope. Just as I thought I was going one way, it turns out I'm going the other! Quite disorienting... :)

And yet there is still change taking place. There are areas in which I'm moving forward, with determination and a will to succeed. I still have a Plan and a Timeline, and it's still somewhat scary to contemplate at times. But forward we will go.

Today though I'm not going to spend a lot of time breaking my head over options. I'm going to get on with a few things, sort out some office stuff, complete a few personal tasks later, and continue my quest to organize the few things I have control over.

The tightrope can wait a few hours. Right now it's back to solid ground.

(and if you think I'm talking in total abstracts, you could be right - but I don't want to say too much until I have something concrete to spout forth about)

::update::
This hit-the-breaks day has been something else! I've gone from high to low in the space of a few hours, then high again. The upshot is that I've had a chance to re-examine my trajectory. And had a lighting-bolt moment when I realized that I could just have headed off in the wrong direction entirely, and another jolt when I got inspiration. I took a deep breath and realized that what I was "settling" for could have been worse than where I am.

I've done quite a bit of reading today too, initially to calm the mind, but later finding one thing after another that seemed written just for me. (That DailyOM thing has been spot-on too, frighteningly so!)

If you've kept up in the last week you might start to wonder about my mental stabliity! :) Yeah, I do set off in all sorts of directions, quite regularly. But it's only through testing waters that one finds direction. And unfortunately for you, the reader - this blog is where I test things, the dumping ground for most of what goes on in my head, the journal that allows me to pour everything out on the mat and look at it, then pack it back the way it needs to be. You'll find here a whole lot of half-formed ideas, brilliant plans that petered out and the wonderings of an occasionally confused mind. Bear with me. It's one of the reasons I blog.